44. It’s not that I don’t like you.

Qin Zhaoyi didn’t expect to receive such a candid response from Luo Yue.

Just as she answered others, she was just as candid about being homosexual.

It was rare to see Luo Yue being so forthright, but it was about something like this.

Qin Zhaoyi was momentarily speechless.

Meanwhile, Cheng Shiyu had caught up with Cheng Shijing, holding his arm behind his back, while Cheng Shijing boasted about how he had known he shouldn’t have sent her to the police academy.

The morning dew dripped from the treetops like rain, and different kinds of birds circled overhead, disappearing into the distance.

Qin Zhaoyi even wanted to ask Luo Yue why, if she was afraid to admit it, she didn’t just avoid relationships altogether. But Luo Yue was staring into the distance with a heavy gaze, seemingly lost in thought.

Her gaze was so complex that Qin Zhaoyi couldn’t understand it, but she could feel her turmoil.

In the end, Qin Zhaoyi didn’t ask anything or say anything.

On the way back from Wangchun Bay, Cheng Shiyu still sat in the passenger seat, looking troubled.

Several times she looked at Cheng Shijing’s profile, as if wanting to say something but stopping herself.

Even though Cheng Shijing was focused on driving, he still felt her probing gaze.

“What’s the matter?” Cheng Shijing asked.

Cheng Shiyu subconsciously said, “Nothing…”

After a slight pause, she furrowed her brows and continued, “Brother, do you really understand Yue Jie?”

Cheng Shijing rolled his eyes, “I’ve watched her grow up since we were kids. What do you think?”

Cheng Shiyu: “…”

Man this damned puxi!

*puxi – derogatory. Average but confident person

Even though Cheng Shijing was her real brother, Cheng Shiyu scolded him just the same.

But only in her mind.

But thinking about the scene this morning that had greatly shocked her, she also felt a bit sorry for her brother, after all, he was still family.

After some contemplation, Cheng Shiyu carefully said, “You can’t truly understand someone just by always being together. Everyone has secrets.”

Without hesitation, Cheng Shijing replied, “Luo Yue and I have no secrets.”

Cheng Shiyu: “…”

After silently repeating “he’s my brother, even if he’s an idiot, I can’t hold it against him” three times in her heart, Cheng Shiyu sighed heavily, “For example, have you ever asked Sister Luo if she actually likes you?”

The address had changed to “Luo Jie”.

She had been intimately calling her “Yue Jie” before.

Cheng Shiyu felt she had crossed the line of “just touching upon” this matter and was close to revealing everything.

If Cheng Shijing still couldn’t understand, then he deserved to suffer for this emotion.

Cheng Shijing was surprised, “What kind of liking are you talking about?”

“The kind of like between opposite sexes?” Cheng Shijing categorized it.

Cheng Shiyu hesitated, “When did she ever like you?”

From childhood to adulthood, her brother always overshadowed her because of his excellence, firmly occupying the top spot on the “[Cheng Shiyu hates rankings]” list.

Cheng Shijing made a turn and parked the car by the roadside.

Cheng Shiyu was wary, “What’s up? Are you getting angry and want to fight?”

“What did you see this morning?” Cheng Shijing asked. “What are you trying to ask indirectly?”

Cheng Shiyu’s disguise was always easily seen through by Cheng Shijing.

From the time she hid snacks as a child, there was never a time when she could deceive Cheng Shijing.

But this time, for Luo Yue’s sake and for Cheng Shijing’s sake, Cheng Shiyu decided to remain stubborn.

“It’s nothing,” Cheng Shiyu turned her head to look out the window. “Just chatting.”

“Whatever you saw this morning, keep it to yourself,” Cheng Shijing had already guessed, and said in a low voice, “Don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I going to tell?” Cheng Shiyu suddenly widened her eyes. “Why don’t you trust me?”

“I don’t trust your ability to keep a secret,” Cheng Shijing continued driving.

Cheng Shiyu was still afraid that Cheng Shijing would misunderstand, so after a while, she hinted again, “Mom said after your birthday, they plan to formally propose to Yue Jie on an auspicious day.”

Cheng Shijing: “…?”

“Why didn’t I know?” Cheng Shijing frowned.

Cheng Shiyu sighed, “You’re either at the clinic or holed up in your room with thick medical books, where would you find time to care about these things?”

Cheng Shijing sternly said, “Nonsense.”

“Last time I overheard Mom talking to Grandma Shi Xi,” Cheng Shiyu said, “Yue Jie probably doesn’t know yet.”

“In this day and age, they’re still doing arranged marriages,” Cheng Shijing was annoyed.

Even though he had told his mom many times that he and Luo Yue were not dating, let alone planning to get married.

But that was the custom on Moon Island.

When a man comes of age, he should marry, and a woman should marry when she’s of age.

And he and Luo Yue were just right, they had already delayed it for too long, it was getting late.

With too much gossip, his mom couldn’t sit still.

So she put this matter on the agenda.

Without even consulting him.

Cheng Shiyu rested her head against the car window, her voice muffled, “Ge, since when did you know about Yue Jie’s matter?”

“What matter?” Cheng Shijing asked.

Cheng Shiyu hesitated for a moment before finally revealing, “Not liking men.”

Her tone feigned casualness, but there was still a hint of nervousness when she spoke.

She also observed Cheng Shijing’s reaction.

But Cheng Shijing’s expression remained indifferent, “That’s normal.”

For the first time, Cheng Shiyu felt that her brother was emitting a halo of enlightenment.

Cheng Shijing continued, “I’ve always thought it’s foolish to define love based on sexual orientation.”

When should love be defined by gender?

There are many great loves in this world, unrelated to gender.

It’s just about meeting the right person.

Cheng Shijing asked, “Have you read ‘The Nightingale and the Rose’?”

Cheng Shiyu: “…”

He had hit her sore spot.

Cheng Shiyu was pure and simple, so simple that she barely passed the police academy exam because she wasn’t good at studying, despite her genius brother’s one-on-one tutoring every day with a score of over 700 in the college entrance examination.

She didn’t have much of an artistic sense; whenever she saw a book, she felt like sleeping.

Seeing her staring blankly, Cheng Shijing suddenly remembered that she didn’t read books.

“It’s by Oscar Wilde,” Cheng Shijing said in a flat tone, not like usual when he would advise her to read more or mock her ignorance. Instead, he simply told her the story.

A man wants to make a rose bloom out of season to give to a princess to win her favor.

But he can’t make the rose bloom.

But his troubled face was seen by the nightingale perched outside the window, who went to the rose to make a deal.

It wanted to stand on the branch and sing to the rose all night, its melodious song echoing through the night sky.

And the thorn of the rose pierced its chest, staining the rose red.

The next day, the nightingale carried the rose to the man, and the man went to the princess.

The nightingale died.

For once, Cheng Shiyu didn’t fall asleep when Cheng Shijing told a story; instead, she listened very attentively. After hearing it, she frowned and said, “This man is so despicable.”

Cheng Shijing: “…”

“But, what’s so special about this story?” Cheng Shiyu summarized, “It’s just a story of foolish men and resentful women.”

“In nature, only male nightingales can sing,” Cheng Shijing said, “And Wilde was a homosexual. At that time, Western society didn’t allow the existence of homosexuality, and everyone criticized it.”

Cheng Shiyu was stunned.

After a moment, she stammered, “But don’t you think this… isn’t normal?”

Challenging societal norms, going against people’s existing perceptions.

Cheng Shijing chuckled, “What is normal? If heterosexuality is normal, then are all the people in prison normal?”

“People prefer to stick to defined boundaries,” Cheng Shijing said, “Even when going to school, they subconsciously form small groups, and anyone with a different mindset is labeled as an outlier, isolated, bullied, from speech to actions. Little do they know, this is the dumbest thing to do.”

“Without breaking the law or harming anyone’s interests,” Cheng Shijing chuckled at the thought, “Just because they’re different from the majority, they’re considered abnormal. Do you think this kind of thinking is normal?”

Cheng Shiyu: “…”

Of course, it’s not normal!

Cheng Shiyu realized she liked the same sex when she was in the police academy because she found it annoying to be around so many men all the time.

On the other hand, soft and fragrant girls were more attractive to her.

At that time, in Jiayi, the thinking was relatively more open.

But even at a party she attended, she would still hear some unfavorable comments.

At that time, she vaguely felt that something was wrong, but being verbally impoverished, she couldn’t figure out exactly what was wrong.

Now, when Cheng Shijing spoke, Cheng Shiyu suddenly felt like she found a kindred spirit.

Exactly!

Just because one doesn’t make the same choices as the majority doesn’t mean they should be labeled as “abnormal” or “perverted.”

How unfair!

But unfortunately, she was powerless to change it.

In the end, she could only comply, comply with the rules of this world, comply with the rules of this society.

Despite her unwillingness, her heart was reluctant.

It’s more like submission than compliance.

Submitting to this detestable world.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Cheng Shijing said. “Did I startle you?”

Cheng Shiyu, teary-eyed, rarely felt so moved by Cheng Shijing. She sniffed and said, “I just think you’re amazing.”

Cheng Shijing: “…”

Cheng Shiyu tentatively extended a little feeler, “What if I said, I also…”

“It’s raining,” Cheng Shijing said, looking at the rain curtain in front of him, turning on the wipers, and complaining about the unpredictable weather, “The weather is as changeable as your mood.”

Cheng Shiyu: “?”

As he spoke, Cheng Shijing considerately lowered the volume of the car stereo and asked again, “What did you just say? You also?”

The courage that had brewed in that moment of emotion, interrupted by Cheng Shijing, had disappeared.

Cheng Shiyu weakly said, “Nothing.”

She didn’t dare to say it, especially after coming back because of this.

As it started to rain on the return journey, the sky was gloomy, with dark clouds looming and the sea breeze stirring up waves.

It looked like there might be a thunderstorm.

The car played soothing Cantonese love songs, and no one spoke.

The car quietly pulled up at Yan Ci’s café, and the four of them got out of the car one by one.

Because it was raining, Yan Ci suggested having a cup of coffee at her café before leaving.

Even drinking coffee felt a bit awkward, especially since they were all not good at expressing themselves. So Yan Ci took out a deck of cards and suggested playing “Draw the Turtle”.

If you have a pair, you play it, leaving only one “king” in your hand to pass on.

The person left with the “king” in their hand at the end is the loser.

For some reason, Qin Zhaoyi ended up being the loser in several consecutive rounds.

Her mood, already gloomy, sank even lower at this moment.

Even Zhong Yu poured her a few drinks, but she still ended up drawing that “king” card every time.

Disheartened in love, she hadn’t expected her luck in games to be so abysmal as well.

Finally, when the rain eased up a bit, Qin Zhaoyi gathered the cards, “Let’s go home.”

She wanted to return to her own space for a moment of peace, to sort out her feelings.

But there was only one umbrella in Yan Ci’s shop.

Yan Ci also noticed the awkward atmosphere between the two, so she suggested, “This umbrella is big, and you two are thin. Squeeze together for a few minutes, and you’ll be home soon.”

Qin Zhaoyi held the umbrella and looked at Luo Yue.

Luo Yue had been a little listless since morning, her faint eyebrows slightly furrowed now as she was about to refuse, “No…”

Qin Zhaoyi hurriedly interrupted, “Okay.”

With that, she grabbed Luo Yue’s wrist and walked out of the coffee shop.

The island was shrouded in dense fog, with very low visibility. The sea, usually visible to the horizon, could now only be vaguely seen with the light from the nearby lighthouse.

Qin Zhaoyi and Luo Yue shared an umbrella on the way home.

The umbrella wasn’t as big as Yan Ci had described, and because of the wind, they had to exert quite a bit of force to hold it.

Otherwise, they might accidentally get blown away.

Qin Zhaoyi deliberately tilted the umbrella towards Luo Yue, getting her shoulder half wet in the process.

Silence prevailed.

The oppressive atmosphere made Qin Zhaoyi’s heart ache even more. She really wanted Luo Yue to talk to her.

Even if it was just some aimless chatter.

But Luo Yue didn’t seem to have that intention.

When they arrived at the entrance of the Little Red House, Qin Zhaoyi handed her the umbrella, “Go home.”

Only then did Luo Yue slightly tilt her head up to look at her, her expression serious.

Qin Zhaoyi, fearful that she might say something unpleasant to hear, thrust the umbrella into her hand and turned to walk into the curtain of rain.

She almost ran all the way home.

But as she turned to enter the door, she found Luo Yue standing under the eaves.

Luo Yue looked serious and said, “Want to talk?”

Qin Zhaoyi stepped aside, letting her in.

Qin Zhaoyi was soaked in the rain, her hair tips slightly damp. She found a towel, wiped herself briefly, and then sat quietly on the sofa, waiting for Luo Yue to speak.

Luo Yue naturally knew that her behavior this morning was somewhat excessive and had hurt Qin Zhaoyi’s feelings.

However, she didn’t know how to break the silence.

She was not good at talking about her own matters to others.

Of course, she wasn’t prepared to do so either.

The atmosphere in the living room became more and more silent, even the air seemed to carry a chill, as if the rain outside had seeped into the room.

Qin Zhaoyi brought a cup of hot water in front of Luo Yue, and the steam wafted gently in the air.

After a long while, Luo Yue awkwardly opened her mouth, “I… I don’t have parents.”

Qin Zhaoyi was taken aback. She didn’t expect Luo Yue to start with such a heavy topic.

And she responded, “I know.”

“For you, this may not be a big deal,” Luo Yue said, “To be discovered, to admit it openly.”

Luo Yue suddenly looked at her, smiled, but her eyes were filled with sadness, “Because you are inherently an open person.”

Qin Zhaoyi was speechless.

Luo Yue continued, “But I’m different.”

“I’m not so open.” Luo Yue said, “Everything here retains its most primitive appearance, including thoughts.”

So no one would accept her as such an “outlier.”

Luo Yue said, “They are important to me.”

It was a subtle explanation of what happened in the morning.

And Qin Zhaoyi couldn’t help but ask, “What about you in the future? Will you continue to live so covertly?”

Luo Yue took a sip of hot water, her tongue tingling from the heat, but she remained expressionless.

Then she put the cup on the table, “Let’s talk about it later.”

After saying that, she turned and left.

Qin Zhaoyi felt a little disappointed.

But this disappointment was much better than before.

Because Luo Yue took the initiative to explain to her, even though the explanation was not entirely satisfactory.

Qin Zhaoyi locked herself in her room and didn’t go out all day, not even opening the window.

Then she digested her bad mood and convinced herself to respect Luo Yue.

So the next morning, she went out early and “coincidentally” met Luo Yue, who was preparing to go to school at the door.