Chapter 45

That night, Li Hehua tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She thought about everything and finally came to terms with it: Zhang Tieshan had truly discovered that she wasn’t the real Li Hehua.

All this time, aside from fulfilling her duties as a mother to Shulin, she had completely acted according to her own nature. She hadn’t deliberately tried to imitate the original Li Hehua at all.

She and the original were entirely different people—different in speech and behavior. It was actually quite normal for others to be suspicious. But Li Hehua had always believed that ordinary people wouldn’t think of something as bizarre as soul transmigration. Even if they sensed something off, they wouldn’t be able to explain it, so she had never worried about being exposed.

Yet now, she’d been found out by Zhang Tieshan.

She had panicked yesterday, but now she’d calmed down. Since Zhang Tieshan already knew, there was nothing she could do about it. So be it. She believed he wouldn’t run around telling people, and even if he did, no one would believe him. She wasn’t too worried about being treated like some kind of monster.

What really frustrated her now was Zhang Tieshan’s confession.

Though he could clearly distinguish her from the original, didn’t project his hatred onto her, and had treated her very well lately, even helping her in many ways, that didn’t mean she had to marry him. Feelings aside, just his mother and younger brother were enough for her to say no.

She knew very well how much Zhang Linshi and Zhang Qingshan disliked her. Marrying into such a family—how could that lead to a happy life? She didn’t need a man to support her. She could earn money and live well on her own. Why bring suffering upon herself? And to top it off, with a difficult mother-in-law and an unfriendly brother-in-law? She’d have to be out of her mind to agree to that.

She absolutely refused to be bullied by in-laws.

So, after a night’s sleep, Li Hehua was back to full strength. She made up her mind: no matter what, she would never accept Zhang Tieshan. From now on, she would keep her distance from him.

Once she’d sorted it out in her heart, she felt much more relaxed and carried on with her usual routine, setting up her stall and doing business as normal, no longer worried whether Zhang Tieshan would come by.

But Zhang Tieshan didn’t show up. That saved her from having to talk to him.

Without him, though, she and Dahe were overwhelmed. They were so busy they didn’t even have time for a sip of water, and still couldn’t keep up with the stream of customers.

Only then did Li Hehua realize just how much Zhang Tieshan had silently helped her.

She was genuinely grateful to him—but she still couldn’t accept him emotionally.

Li Hehua decided to hire another helper. Just she and Dahe weren’t enough anymore. And she couldn’t rely on Zhang Tieshan’s help going forward. Once she had someone new, she planned to expand the stall. It was too crowded right now—many customers came and had nowhere to sit, having to wait around for others to finish. That wasn’t good. She wanted to add two more tables and expand the menu a bit.

Hiring someone, though, was tricky. It wasn’t easy to find the right person. But she had someone in mind—Xie Saozi’s twelve-year-old son, Xie Yuan. He wasn’t short for his age, just very skinny.

She’d seen the boy a few times—chopping firewood, helping his younger sister with laundry. According to Xie Saozi, he cooked most of their meals and helped clean the house with his sister while she worked. He was a sensible, capable kid.

Li Hehua had spoken to him a few times. He didn’t talk much and wasn’t as lively as Dahe, but he was polite—not the silent type. She thought he might be a good fit for the role, and his job could also help his family financially.

Still, it was too early to say. She had to ask both Xie Saozi and Xie Yuan first. She might want to help their struggling household, but only if they were willing.

That afternoon, just as they were closing up, Zhang Tieshan reappeared, holding the hand of a little boy—Shulin, who had been back in the village for three days.

The moment the little one saw Li Hehua, he looked utterly pitiful. He ran toward her on his short legs and raised his little arms, asking for a hug. He was heartbreakingly adorable. Li Hehua dropped everything, rushed forward, and scooped him up into a tight embrace.

“Shulin, you’re back. Did you miss Mama?”

The little guy nodded his head eagerly and clung even tighter to her.

He had missed her terribly.

Li Hehua planted a big kiss on his chubby cheek. “So, did Mama’s little Shulin eat well, sleep well, and take care of himself while visiting Grandma?”

Shulin blinked and buried his face in her neck, unmoving.

Li Hehua understood instantly—he clearly hadn’t eaten or slept well. Otherwise, he would’ve nodded.

Zhang Tieshan walked over with Shulin’s things and said, “He wouldn’t eat the food my mother made. He survived on the snacks you packed for him. Nothing my mother did worked.” His mother had been so frustrated she’d nearly cried. What he didn’t say was that Shulin had tried to run away several times. Each time, his mother caught him and carried him back, but he’d still try again—always taking his snack bag and Blackie with him. It was obvious the boy was trying to run back to Li Hehua. Sadly, he hadn’t succeeded.

Li Hehua didn’t look at Zhang Tieshan or reply. She just looked at the little guy in her arms. “Is that true, Shulin? You wouldn’t eat anything?”

The child didn’t lift his head but snuggled closer, rubbing against her like a little cat, trying to win her favor.

Li Hehua had wanted to scold him, but seeing him like this, she just couldn’t. He wasn’t like ordinary children. Though he’d become more lively at school thanks to Gu Jin Zhao’s guidance, he was still withdrawn around most people. That wouldn’t change overnight.

These things took time. She only hoped for gradual progress.

Just then, Zhang Tieshan spoke again. “Make him something to eat. He didn’t eat lunch either. He must be starving.”

It was already well past noon—he really must be famished. Li Hehua quickly carried him to a table and poked his little nose. “You little rascal, skipping meals again! How about some pork rib noodles?”

The boy’s eyes lit up, and he nodded eagerly.

Li Hehua gave his nose a playful flick, turned around, and got to work. She poured the pork rib broth into a pot, brought it to a boil, added the noodles, seasoned it, then tossed in the braised ribs and a bit of bok choy before serving it up.

She only made one bowl—for Shulin. Not for Zhang Tieshan. He’d probably already eaten. In the past, she would’ve made a bowl for him anyway, even if he had. But now? It wasn’t appropriate. What if it gave him hope again?

She sighed quietly, placed the bowl in front of Shulin, and picked up some noodles with her chopsticks to feed him.

Shulin opened his mouth obediently—wide—and chewed happily. Though he said nothing, his expression showed how satisfied he was.

Watching him eat so contentedly, Li Hehua smiled, but inside, she was full of worry. She wondered whether Shulin could continue living with her. Before, when Zhang Tieshan allowed him to stay, she’d thought he was a truly good man. But now, she realized maybe he hadn’t been so selfless. Was it just a way to stay close to her?

But now that she’d rejected him, would he still let Shulin stay? Even if he agreed out of kindness, would Zhang Linshi allow her precious grandson to remain outside the family home? Highly unlikely. Not in this feudal society, and not even in modern times. What grandmother would do that?

Would rejecting Zhang Tieshan mean she had to part ways with Shulin forever? The thought pained her more than losing a limb.

She didn’t know what to do. She’d just have to take it one step at a time. If it came to it, she’d visit him at school every day.

After feeding Shulin, she began cleaning up the stall.

Zhang Tieshan helped as usual, moving the heavy items onto the cart that neither she nor Dahe could lift—ignoring all her protests.

Helpless, Li Hehua simply ignored him. To prevent him from pushing the cart like usual, she put Shulin in the cart and grabbed the handles herself. It was heavy, but manageable if she went slowly. After all, she weighed about 130 jin now.

Seeing her pushing it herself, Dahe quickly came up to help, making it easier on her.

Zhang Tieshan stood there, watching her back as she pushed the cart away, brows furrowed. Then he followed her all the way to her courtyard.

Dahe said goodbye and left. Zhang Tieshan, however, remained in the courtyard.

Li Hehua ignored him, carried Shulin inside, and asked, “Shulin, do you want to play with Blackie or do some painting?”

When he was home, Shulin either dazed out, played with Blackie, or spent time in the study drawing and writing.

At her question, Shulin blinked, then ran off on his short legs to the study.

He wanted to paint.

Seeing that, Li Hehua turned to take the dishes to the kitchen, but noticed Zhang Tieshan still standing in the courtyard.

She pursed her lips. “Zhang Tieshan, aren’t you leaving? I’m about to lock the gate.”

He looked at her deeply and said, “You haven’t answered my question from yesterday. Can you give me a chance?”

“Zhang Tieshan, I…”

Before she could finish rejecting him, he cut her off. “Please don’t rush to say no. I know what you’re thinking. Let me apologize first. When you were living at my house, I treated you badly, and so did my family. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t the same Li Hehua. We just hated her too much. But I swear, from now on, I’ll treat you well. I’ll give you everything I can. I’ll never let you suffer—not from me, not from my family. I’ll take care of everything. Please believe me.”

Honestly, Li Hehua hadn’t expected such a heartfelt response. He had clearly thought about things from her perspective—her grievances, her worries. In that moment, she believed he truly cared for her.

But true feelings didn’t guarantee happiness. He spoke well and had good intentions, but just because he said she wouldn’t suffer didn’t mean she wouldn’t. Conflicts with in-laws weren’t something men could always solve, no matter how good their intentions were. Plenty of men promised their wives a pain-free life before marriage—how many actually delivered?

She was grateful he didn’t treat her like a monster, and even fell for her despite everything. But she still couldn’t accept him. So she said, “Zhang Tieshan, thank you for your kindness, but I can’t accept you. My identity now is your ex-wife, the unpleasant Li Hehua. You know I’m not her, but others don’t—and they can’t. At the very least, your mother and brother don’t. They’ll always dislike me. How could I be happy in that situation?”

She smiled and continued, “I’m doing well on my own. I earn my own money, I support myself, and I live freely. That’s far better than marrying into a family and constantly being scrutinized. So I don’t want to marry. I’m fine like this. I believe you’ll find a wonderful wife one day. I wish you happiness.”

Zhang Tieshan looked at her. His heart ached. His voice turned low. “If you’re worried about my mother, I’ll live separately from her. I won’t make you stay with her. As for your freedom—I won’t restrict you. I’ll support whatever you want to do. I keep my promises.”

Li Hehua sighed and shook her head with a smile. “Zhang Tieshan, it’s impossible between us. Just go home. And don’t come back anymore.”

His eyes dimmed. After a long pause, he asked hoarsely, “Then… what about Shulin? Don’t you want to keep taking care of him?”

Her heart trembled.

Shulin—that was her greatest fear. And he hit it right on the mark.

She wanted to give Shulin a healthy, happy family. She wanted to care for him every day. But if that meant forcing herself into a marriage she didn’t want, could that really be considered good for the child?

She couldn’t marry Zhang Tieshan just for Shulin’s sake.

Her voice trembled. “Zhang Tieshan… are you going to take Shulin away?”

As soon as she said it, she realized how unreasonable it sounded. The child was his to begin with—there was no reason for her to keep him. She had rejected him. Could she really ask to keep his son?

She turned away, heart heavy. “I understand. Can you give me three more days? Come pick him up then, please?”

Afraid she might cry in front of him, she ran into the room and shut the door—so she didn’t hear what Zhang Tieshan said next.

He was half amused, half helpless. He’d never said he was going to take Shulin away. Was he really the kind of man to give up just because of a few rejections?

She looked so capable, but sometimes she was just like a child—jumping to conclusions without hearing the full story, then refusing to let him explain.

He shook his head, went into the study, and found his son deep in concentration, painting. He didn’t disturb him. After watching quietly for a while, he finally said, “Shulin, I’m going. I’ll come see you again tomorrow.”

Shulin didn’t respond, completely immersed in his art.

Zhang Tieshan didn’t mind. He walked out of the study, stopped outside Li Hehua’s room, and knocked. He knew she could hear him. “I’m leaving now. And… I’m not taking Shulin away.”

Hearing no reply, he sighed and left.

The rejection had hurt, but he wasn’t weak. He wasn’t giving up. He’d take it slow. One day, he’d win her over.

Inside, Li Hehua hadn’t reacted—because she was momentarily stunned.

He wasn’t taking Shulin? The child would still live with her? Was this a dream?

After a long while, she suddenly yanked the door open—but Zhang Tieshan was already gone.

She rubbed her face to make sure she hadn’t misheard. Zhang Tieshan wasn’t the type to lie. Her heart surged with joy as she ran into the study.

Watching the little one quietly painting, her overflowing emotions finally calmed. Thank goodness. Her precious boy was still hers. They could still live together. They didn’t have to part ways.

It took her a while to settle down. But once she did, doubt returned. Why hadn’t he taken Shulin? She had rejected him. Why was he still willing to let her raise his child?

She rubbed her forehead and sighed. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Instead, she turned and went to find Xie Saozi and Xie Yuan to talk about hiring a new helper.