By the time I entered elementary school, I had already realized that there was something unusual about my appearance.

Boys would naturally invite me to play dodgeball, and on Valentine’s Day, I would receive more chocolates from girls than I could carry in both hands. It didn’t take long for me to start acting like a “boy,” nor did it require any particular decision. Strangely, even when I played the role of a “boy,” it didn’t feel all that unnatural.

As time passed, the “girl” within me gradually faded into the background. What had initially been an act became my default identity, and by the time I entered middle school, people around me had started calling me “Prince.”

── There was no one left who knew the real “me.”

What shocked me the most, however, was that I, myself, didn’t even care. Rather than the “me” who had never been allowed out, I felt more comfortable being “Boku”, the one everyone admired. I wrapped my growing chest tightly with a sarashi (Translator note: cloth used to wrap traditional Japanese clothing) and continued being a “boy.”

◆

One of the main reasons I chose to attend Suzakura High School was because it was an all-girls school. As long as I was surrounded by girls, I could remain “Boku”.

As expected, after enrolling, I was able to lead a perfectly comfortable life. Some might find it stressful to constantly be the center of attention, but for me, it wasn’t a big deal.

One month after entering school, as I stood up when the dismissal chime rang, I noticed a crowd so large it couldn’t fit inside the classroom waiting for me in the hallway.

“My fan club?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, we’d like to establish an organization and carry out activities in your honor.”

After listening to them, I learned they wanted to create a fan club for me. They hadn’t decided on specific activities yet, but they assured me they wouldn’t do anything disruptive.

“I don’t mind.”

When I smiled at the upperclassman who seemed to be the representative, she jumped in excitement, linking hands with the other girls around her in celebration. They seemed really close.

…When was the last time I shared emotions with a friend? I couldn’t remember at all.

“If there’s anything I can do, just let me know. I’ll help however I can.”

Even after entering Suzakura, I had never fallen in love. It had been the same since elementary school. Maybe because I was carrying two identities, both “Boku” and “Watashi” had reached high school without ever knowing what love was. To be honest, I couldn’t even understand the emotions of the upperclassman who was on the verge of tears with joy.

── I couldn’t return their feelings.

So, I decided to give them something else instead.

Perhaps it was that attitude that fueled the fire even more—before I knew it, the fan club had grown explosively. According to rumors, nearly the entire school had joined. It was almost enough to be considered an official school organization, and I barely stopped myself from commenting on that.

And just like that, I smoothly advanced to my second year.

◆

I had always planned to start a part-time job in my second year.

Supermarkets, convenience stores, shopping malls—there were many options, but in the end, I decided to work at a family restaurant near the school.

The deciding factors were the stylish uniforms and the pleasant demeanor of a male staff member who had served me when I visited once. I didn’t catch his name, but if someone like him worked there, I figured it would be a fun place to work.

I was hired on the spot at my interview, and my first day of work arrived. Feeling slightly nervous, I opened the back door of Cyberia—only to find that very same male staff member standing there.

“Uh… Yamabuki Natsuki, right?”

I had thought he was older than me, but it turned out we were the same age. The Cyberia male uniform must have had a way of making its wearer look more mature. The thought of putting it on myself made me excited. Thanks to Natsuki’s consideration, I was allowed to work in the male uniform. I felt lucky to have such a great senior.

◆

Because of my customer service skills, Cyberia ended up overwhelmed.

The manager was delighted, saying, “Sales have doubled!” but my fellow part-timers were completely exhausted.

I hadn’t meant to cause trouble for the restaurant, so I decided to adjust my approach.

During that time, Natsuki defended me.

“I’m your mentor. I believe it’s my duty to protect you, Tachibana-san.”

“…I see.”

My heart leapt in my chest.

──It was my first love.

◆

After the Aotaka Festival, my feelings for Natsuki only grew stronger. At the same time, I found myself unsure of how to interact with him.

Would “Boku” be enough? But at this point, there was no way I could suddenly become “Watashi.” If people found out about “me,” what would happen to “Boku”?

Trapped in a world with no escape, I buried my feelings deep inside.

Or so I thought.

“It’s not a lie—I really am a girl, you know?”

That night, I regretted it deeply. Natsuki probably thought I was weird now. That thought scared me so much I couldn’t sleep. I had never expected myself to feel so unstable.

I reaffirmed that letting “Boku” handle Tachibana Iori was the best choice, so the next day, I went to Cyberia to see Natsuki. Even if he could never think I was “cute,” this was the only way. Natsuki treated me just as he always did, and I felt immensely relieved.

“…I’d appreciate it if you could forget about yesterday.”

“I’ll never forget. But if you ever feel like talking, I hope you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

I internally chuckled at how unreasonable his request was. But more than that, I was happy. I felt like he had given me a little bit of courage.

…Little did I know that courage would soon become my undoing.

Natsuki occupied my thoughts constantly, and when he did, “Watashi” would emerge.

The stable identity of “Tachibana Iori” was beginning to crumble because of him. Even at Suzakura High School, “Boku” could no longer remain “Boku.”

──Maybe I should just tell Natsuki everything.

That thought crossed my mind countless times. But I could never bring myself to do it. “Watashi” had been overshadowed for too long, and I couldn’t believe that she would be accepted.

Hoping he would forget, I acted even more like “Boku” at Cyberia than usual.

And yet, deep down, a part of me wished that Natsuki would be the one to find “Watashi.”