Chapter 8: Impotent for Life

That evening, without any overtime, Song Chunhui returned to his cramped one-bedroom apartment that he rented. The room was deathly silent, the darkness like an impenetrable net. He shivered instinctively, groped for the switch, and quickly turned on the light, which instantly dispelled the darkness.

His tense nerves relaxed for a moment. The first thing Song Chunhui did was change out of his suit and trousers. After carefully checking to ensure they were clean, he hung them up on a hanger, knowing he could wear them again tomorrow.

He then connected his phone to the speaker via Bluetooth and randomly played a talk show about relationships. The host’s laughter broke the silence, and the room finally felt lively.

“I think my boyfriend is quite strange. I’ve wanted to break up with him several times, but he’s so handsome that it feels like a waste to let him go.”

Listening to the host and the girl chatting and laughing, Song Chunhui took out some noodles from the fridge, thinking to himself that being handsome was useless. Why is it that others can’t bear to break up with a handsome boyfriend, yet he was dumped by his first love after three years?

First love was a regret that Song Chunhui couldn’t let go of. In the years that followed, he occasionally thought of his ex-girlfriend and felt unwilling, mixed with a bit of resentment. He resented that since she couldn’t be with him for life, why did she pursue him in the first place and even promise to marry no one but him?

It wasn’t until last year, when he heard the news of his ex-girlfriend’s marriage, that Song Chunhui had sleepless nights, reminiscing about the past. His eyes would well up, and in the blur, he realized that he didn’t hate his first love but himself and the unchangeable fate.

He also came to understand that love is just a superficial thing. Without money, what love can you talk about? With money, you can buy anything. Earning money is the hard truth.

After fishing out the boiling noodles, Song Chunhui poured some soy sauce into the bowl for flavor, stirred it with chopsticks, and it was ready to eat.

He switched the program to a more lively comedy skit to accompany his meal, and as he sat down to slurp his noodles, his junior’s call came in.

“Hui Ge, how’s it going? Did you deal with that brat?”

Thinking of his little assistant who was almost in tears, Song Chunhui explained for Li Huan, “I got it wrong. He’s not gay.”

Meng Chunxun: “How could you get that wrong? Didn’t you say he hinted at it several times?”

The little assistant was actually the victim of being teased by a gay person. Song Chunhui briefly explained Li Huan’s situation and couldn’t help but show off, “He’s from a single-parent family, hasn’t seen much of the world, just purely admires me and wants to take me as his big brother to learn life skills.”

On the other end, Meng Chunxun wasn’t too reassured. Some gay men are cunning, not something a straight guy like Song Chunhui can handle, so he advised Song Chunhui to be cautious.

“Hui Ge, you should listen to me on this. For safety, keep your distance. Don’t let him take you as his brother, or it’ll be troublesome if he clings to you.”

Song Chunhui slurped his noodles, unconcerned, “Don’t make a fuss. I interrogated him in the office for an hour, almost made him cry. He swore to the heavens he’s not gay, saying if he is, he’d be impotent for life. How ruthless is that?”

“…” Meng Chunxun was speechless, “If he’s gay, he can’t have kids anyway. If he’s the bottom, it doesn’t matter if he’s impotent.”

“He’s really not. He showed me a picture of his girlfriend and even called her in front of me.” Song Chunhui felt a bit envious, “Young people these days are so clingy, calling each other husband and wife before marriage. That’s the only thing they’re better at than me, sigh.”

“…” Meng Chunxun didn’t believe it, “Maybe he’s acting.”

“He’s right under my nose. I’ve been watching him, and he didn’t even take out his phone. How could he act? Even if he is acting, am I supposed to be afraid of him?” Song Chunhui didn’t want to dwell on it, “I’m eating, let’s not talk about it.”

Knowing Song Chunhui well, Meng Chunxun quickly changed the topic, “You’re eating noodles again? I can hear you slurping.”

“Yeah.” Song Chunhui mumbled a response, continuing to slurp.

Meng Chunxun: “You always eat these unhealthy things. Why not switch to my company? You can live with me, and we can save money by eating together at night.”

Song Chunhui: “I bought egg noodles, they’re nutritious. I also like eating noodles.”

Knowing his senior’s pride, Meng Chunxun didn’t point it out, but before hanging up, he repeatedly reminded Song Chunhui, “You can’t always eat noodles. Change it up a bit. Health is the real capital.”

A two-pound pack of egg noodles costs only five yuan, and Song Chunhui can eat it five times, keeping each meal’s cost to one yuan. If he buys groceries and cooks, he keeps it under ten yuan.

He’s living tightly now, calculating every penny, afraid of any changes in life, afraid he won’t be able to handle it. Even with hundreds of thousands in his bank account, he doesn’t dare to relax.

These hidden hardships are hard to express. Even if he talks about them, he finds himself annoying, looking down on himself for worrying about making ends meet every day. It’s really pathetic.

After finishing his noodles, Song Chunhui opened his ledger and carefully calculated his expenses. He couldn’t completely ignore his foster father’s son’s wedding, but giving twenty thousand wouldn’t cut ties. This family would only become more demanding, like a tumor deeply rooted in his life.

Looking at the over one million high mortgage, even selling his watch and car wouldn’t cover a fraction. The more he calculated, the more bitter he felt. The pressure was like a boulder, making his chest tight and hard to breathe, and his head started to ache.

“Sigh… damn it.”

The room was chilly, not yet time for central heating. Song Chunhui sighed repeatedly, quickly adjusted his mood, put away the ledger, took a pill for his headache, and prepared to soak his feet to warm up. His phone buzzed again with a WeChat message from his little assistant.

He was stunned by the opening address.

Little Li: [Song Ge, you said you’d give me two hundred, are you still going to?]

This brat, does he really think I’m an ATM?

Four Eyes: [Give you my ass. Do you know how much time you wasted for me today? You don’t even reflect and have the nerve to ask for money.]

Four Eyes: [It’s fine to call me that in private, but in the company, pay attention to the superior-subordinate relationship. If you perform well next month, I’ll consider giving you a bonus. That’s it.]

Seeing the reply, Li Huan knew he had succeeded.

Four Eyes is easy to fool. Just a few compliments and he’s floating. Who’s the real fool here? He exited the chat interface, and Song Chunhui’s avatar was at the top of his WeChat list, looking ridiculous no matter how he saw it.

Having slept too much in the morning, Li Huan couldn’t sleep now. He was bored with no entertainment activities, so he just played on his phone.

Cheng Yao: [Anqi is next to me. I heard you called her? You even called her ‘wife,’ you’re amazing. Did Four Eyes find out?]

Receiving a message from his childhood friend, Li Huan only replied with two words: [No problem.]

Cheng Yao: [Is it really that fun to mess with guys? Be careful, or your parents will find out and blame me. That would be so unfair.]

Li Huan: [Why don’t you try it and see?]

Cheng Yao: [Damn, that’s disgusting. I can’t accept it.]

Regarding his sexual orientation, Li Huan didn’t lie to Song Chunhui. He doesn’t consider himself gay. He has dated girls before, and messing with guys is purely for the thrill.

As for how enjoyable it is, he feels it’s just okay. It’s just that guys are more durable, can be messed with freely, and won’t get pregnant. Plus, he doesn’t have to put in the effort to coax them. Instead, other guys are eager to coax and please him.

Cheng Yao: [By the way, your mom came to my house yesterday and talked to my mom about you. She said you’re working hard and seriously now, and advised me to get a job. I’m really impressed.]

Li Huan was annoyed by this topic and didn’t want to continue. Then his childhood friend told him that because he obediently came to Ancheng to work, his parents had prepared a surprise for him.

It turns out that the weekend team-building activity was thanks to the headquarters. Nuolin directly booked the entire resort, and many people from the headquarters would attend. It’s said that several departments would send representatives to give a special lecture to the branch office.

Cheng Yao: [Learn from the seniors, got it?]

Li Huan: [Get lost.]

Cheng Yao: [Hahaha.]

Putting down his phone, Li Huan turned off the lights and lay down, wrapping himself tightly in the blanket to try to sleep. The biggest crisis had been resolved. He didn’t go to work during the day and was living quite comfortably. With the three thousand yuan from the flirt, he smoothly bought back his electric scooter in the afternoon.

The only unpleasant thing was wasting two hours hand-washing clothes, exhausted. The shabby dormitory didn’t even have a washing machine. He really didn’t know how these people endured it.

Anyway, since he was following Zhang Cong to run business, Li Huan thought he could continue to slack off. He planned to ride to Beicheng tomorrow to find his wealthy cousin.

But unexpectedly, as soon as the day broke, he was called to the manager’s office by a phone call from Song Chunhui, who scolded him harshly.

“Look at the time yourself. I arrived at the office at eight, waited a bit just to see when you’d arrive. Really, sleeping soundly, huh? Or was someone in your dream holding you back? Weren’t you quite tough the day before yesterday? What did you promise me last night? Are your words just farts?”

Not listening, not listening, the turtle is chanting.

Li Huan immediately went to grab the thermos on the desk, intending to slip away, saying, “I’m going to make tea.” Unexpectedly, it was full, and the lid wasn’t screwed on tightly. His movements were too large, and the scalding tea spilled out, just so happened to drench the invoices Song Chunhui needed to reimburse.

“My invoices!” Song Chunhui didn’t care about the burn, quickly picked up the soaked invoices, carefully shook off the water, and blew on them a few times. He turned to scold Li Huan, “Look at what you’ve done. If you’re not awake, go run two laps downstairs!”

Seeing Song Chunhui in a panic, Li Huan finally felt a bit of satisfaction, wanting to pour the remaining half cup of tea as well.

He promptly apologized, “Sorry, Song Ge, I wanted to make tea for you.”

“Waiting for you to make tea, it’ll be dark.” Song Chunhui frowned, “Pay attention to the superior-subordinate relationship in the company.”

Li Huan nodded obediently, “Okay, Manager.”

Fortunately, the data on the invoices was still legible. Song Chunhui didn’t plan to let the little assistant off, “Today’s tardiness will deduct fifty from your salary. If you’re late again tomorrow, it’ll continue to be deducted. Once it’s all deducted, you might as well not work.”

With a few hundred left in his pocket, Li Huan didn’t mind the fifty, as long as Song Chunhui stopped nagging. Let him deduct it, it’s just fifty yuan.

But something didn’t sound right, so he asked, “Manager, didn’t you say I should follow Zhang Cong to run business?”

Lacking a lackey, Song Chunhui: “I meant for you to follow him yesterday. Where did you go? Tell me specifically, did you learn anything?”

Seeing Song Chunhui speak with a straight face, Li Huan was speechless.

Song Chunhui: “And I asked you to familiarize yourself with the company’s products. Have you understood them all? I’ll test you later. First, go next door, get a cloth, and clean my desk.”

Li Huan: “…”

Song Chunhui: “What are you standing there for? Hurry up and go.”

From Monday to Thursday, Li Huan only had a relaxed day yesterday. If he had known the position would change back and that Song Chunhui would keep a closer eye on him, he wouldn’t have flattered him with those nauseating compliments last night. All that admiration, all that envy, and even swore to be impotent for life.

He put Four Eyes on a pedestal, and he himself fell into hell.

All morning, Li Huan sat at his workstation familiarizing himself with the company’s product information, from various medicines to equipment and marketing plans. It made his head spin, and he couldn’t take it anymore, so he knocked on the manager’s office door to play the sympathy card.

“Song Ge, my eyes hurt. Can I take a break?”

The little assistant again didn’t pay attention to the superior-subordinate relationship. Song Chunhui was about to lecture him, but seeing Li Huan rubbing his eyes, looking pitiful, he said his right eye had been injured before, and overuse might make him blind.

“I’ll just go downstairs for a walk and look at the plants.” Li Huan applied.

Mentioning this, Song Chunhui remembered the blue-haired non-mainstream who insulted him with money and asked Li Huan, “Your mom’s work is quite busy, right? Can’t take care of you.”

Li Huan didn’t understand.

In light of Li Huan calling him “Song Ge,” Song Chunhui kindly advised him, “You’re a grown man, take care of yourself. If you have a partner, you should be more careful. Those shady friends will only affect your life.”

Li Huan knew Song Chunhui’s age and couldn’t understand how a thirty-year-old man could speak with such a paternal tone, just like his dad, really annoying.

“If your eyes are uncomfortable, take a break.” Song Chunhui said, “Remember, fooling others is also fooling yourself. I hope you’re genuinely uncomfortable.”

Li Huan was genuinely uncomfortable, wanting to shut Song Chunhui’s nagging mouth, maybe slap him a few times to vent, then talk. No wonder he’s not liked, doesn’t he know how annoying he is?

Thus, Li Huan’s miserable days officially began.

At noon, not knowing what to eat, there weren’t many takeout options nearby. He had been eating fast food for the past two days, introduced by Zhang Cong, but the taste was average, and he was tired of it.

Fortunately, having a scooter made things more convenient. Just as Li Huan was about to get on his electric scooter, he didn’t know where Song Chunhui popped up from, shamelessly asking for a ride.

“Sorry, Manager, it’s not on the way.”

“Aren’t you going to eat? How is it not on the way?” Song Chunhui said and directly swung his leg over the scooter, giving directions, “Just turn right at the intersection ahead, there’s a fast-food place. After eating, come back and familiarize yourself with the brochures. In the afternoon, follow me to the hospital.”

Li Huan: “…”

Song Chunhui urged, “Come on, don’t dawdle.”

Damn.

Li Huan was so angry he couldn’t speak, and he couldn’t kick Song Chunhui off the scooter. He had just praised his boss with admiration last night. If he kicked him off now, wouldn’t that be slapping his own face? Life would be even more frustrating then.

He reluctantly set off, coincidentally running into other business staff returning to the company, led by Ding Lei, followed by Zhang Cong and the guy named Qian.

They all looked over in unison.

Seeing his subordinates, Song Chunhui seized the opportunity to shout, “You three, report your performance in the group! Meeting at six tonight! Absent ones will have their salary deducted!”

Why is this annoying loudmouth shouting right in his ear? Li Huan was almost deafened and infuriated, so he simply twisted the handle to the max, sped up, and put some distance to shut Song Chunhui up.

Song Chunhui: “Why are you going so fast!”

Li Huan: “I’m hungry.”

Afraid the troublemaker didn’t hear the last sentence, when they reached the fast-food place, Song Chunhui took out his phone and seriously repeated it in the group, while cleverly keeping an eye on the little assistant’s movements.

After Li Huan paid, only then did Song Chunhui pretend to put away his phone and come over to order, not forgetting to ask him why he paid first, trying to act generous.

He smiled, cooperating, “Thanks, Song Ge, you treated last time too.”

“Ah, it’s just a meal.” Song Chunhui found the little assistant more pleasing to the eye, as long as he didn’t overstep, everything else was negotiable.

After enduring several days of torment, Li Huan slowly adapted to the harsh environment. He had just sat down when Song Chunhui sat down opposite him.

Facing the greasy hair with a strong smell, how could he eat? This was something he really couldn’t get used to for a while.

Song Chunhui was actually keeping an eye out, but not because of his junior’s reminder last night, but because he was afraid the little assistant would steal his job. The urgent task was to properly train the lackey, make Li Huan obediently listen to him and work for him.

“Little Li, I’ll show you something tomorrow night.”