Chapter 14 End

It is said that the cycle of thoroughly forming and abandoning a habit is twenty-one days, but the research probably cannot be fully trusted.

The person beside the pillow had been away for a month and only returned for two days, but in the pitch-black bedroom late at night, Ji Heyi’s routine before getting out of bed is still as proficient as instinct: he slows down when groping for the mobile phone to avoid knocking over the water cup that can appear in any corner of the bedside table at any time. He takes away the arm that is resting on his waist and stuffs the pillow into his arms before the person beside him makes a dissatisfied mutter.

At the same time as opening the door, he habitually turns on the small light by the door. If the person sleeping alone wakes up, they will need this dim yellow light to clearly see the edge of the bed.

After leaving the bedroom, he glanced at the two fish in the tank that darted around quickly as he passed the living room, in a somewhat startled state. It’s rare that they haven’t rested at this point in time, probably because they were scared by the person who has been reminiscing with them from time to time these two days, so Ji Heyi scattered some live bait to soothe them.

He brought a cup of warm water into the study, turned the speaker to the lowest volume, and the light from the projector shone on the snow-white screen, and the movie transitioned from the opening to the start of the plot in the music.

The film that Chi Cong gave him was a version that had not yet been heavily edited. He didn’t have any feelings for this film in the extremely good atmosphere of the cinema, but now after hearing a few familiar lines at the beginning, he was drawn into it.

Chi Yan came over when the movie had been playing for twenty minutes.

The door lock made a quick sound, and he pushed the door open: “Oh, you’re here. How did you end up in the study?”

The person who came in shuffled his slippers towards the sofa, and saw the movie scene on the screen, “Ah…”

He paused, “………You’re watching this movie.”

“Awake?” Ji Heyi turned his head and saw him sit down and yawn lazily, “Is the bed not comfortable?”

“Hmm?” Chi Yan reacted after three seconds, “……….Did you change the mattress? It seems a bit hard.”

He leaned crookedly against Ji Heyi: “What can I be uncomfortable with, the problem of being particular about the bed——” He dragged out his voice and laughed, “Wherever I can sleep with you is the bed I recognize, I don’t pick between the living room sofa and the bedroom door panel.”

Ji Heyi’s hand behind him lightly pressed his waist, causing the person whose hand was still stretching towards his thigh to couldn’t help but hiss, instantly experiencing the bitter fruit of this carelessness. So Chi Yan fell down along his hand around his waist, lying on his thigh, “………I’ll be picky about this hard wooden sofa back for a while, I’ll lie down for a while.”

Ji Heyi took the pillow next to his hand and cushioned it under his waist.

“I was sleeping quite well, it’s just………I was scared awake by a dream.”

“Hmm?”

“I dreamed that I went to your house, and as soon as I entered, your mom glared at me several times, made me stand facing the wall as a punishment, and then started to copy idioms. I wrote the four words ‘Propriety, justice, integrity and shame’ stroke by stroke, and until I woke up, I hadn’t finished copying that thick book……….”

Ji Heyi heard his serious tone and couldn’t help but smile: “What about me? Was I standing next to you copying ‘Filial piety, loyalty and trust’?”

Chi Yan laughed: “That won’t do. Since it’s my dream, you must not even suffer the grievance of being glared at.” He grabbed the corner of his pajamas and rubbed his face, “……I’m going to meet your parents tomorrow.”

“Don’t overthink it, just have a meal and go back.” Ji Heyi touched his face, and with one sentence, he glossed over the matter that had been bothering him, “Go back to the room and rest early, or watch a movie here for a while.”

“Watch a movie.”

He said so, but he really wasn’t interested in this movie. He hugged Ji Heyi’s waist and turned his back to the screen.

He lay for a while in the background sound of the movie, and after feeling around for a while, he took out the pillow that Ji Heyi had stuffed behind him. The touch was excellent, and when Chi Yan took it out to look, it was a gray cat paw style.

“Is it new?” He poked the white pad in the middle.

Ji Heyi hummed in response.

Chi Yan looked up at him: “After raising fish, are you planning to raise a cat?”

“……You know?”

“……….I know.”

Ji Heyi looked down at him.

“How could I not know——that time your golden retriever ate too much and got a stomachache, there was an orange cat on the table, and you were staring straight into the cat’s eyes.” He started laughing as he spoke, “There were about ten cats in the pet hospital, and that day you went around and touched every single one of them without missing any. Your out-of-favor dog saw you constantly looking at it with wet eyes, and it was almost about to lose its appetite on the spot.”

“……….” Ji Heyi didn’t know that he had done such a thing to upset Mao Mao. Thinking about this, his gaze rested on Chi Yan’s face, “…….Then you turned your head and said you wanted to raise two fish.”

“That’s what……….” Chi Yan was momentarily weak, but immediately said without blushing or skipping a beat, “How long had we been together at that time? Just over a year, and the fact proves that you just raising two fish makes me see you half an hour less every day. If you get one that can run, jump, and stick to people, it would be unbearable.”

“………” Ji Heyi was speechless about his nitpicking.

Chi Yan continued to talk about his skewed logic: “Apart from not being able to grow fur all over my body, eat, drink, poop, warm hands, and warm the bed, what can a cat do that I can’t, meow meow meow——does it sound nice?”

Ji Heyi laughed, and with the method of petting a cat on paper, he scratched his chin, and he cooperated by humming twice.

“………..Can a cat be more obedient than me?”

“No.” Ji Heyi said, “I won’t raise one.”

“That’s not necessary.” Chi Yan looked indifferent, “If you stop raising fish, just go and get one. I wasn’t happy about it two years ago, but now.” He raised his eyebrows, “I’m not worried at all if one comes, would I compete for favor with a cat that doesn’t understand things.”

Ji Heyi rubbed his chin again with his hand, “We’ll talk about it then, see if you like it.”

Chi Yan was satisfied and put the pillow back under his waist.

Ji Heyi’s attention returned to the movie, Chi Yan stared at his chin in the flickering light and shadow for a while, then suddenly laughed, grabbed his hand, and kissed each finger: “Strawberry flavor, panda underwear, puppy doll, cat paw pillow……….Does your family know how cute you are, Ji Heyi.”

Ji Heyi was very open about his preferences, but he still had questions: “……….How do you know I used to have panda underwear?” He hadn’t worn patterned ones since he graduated from high school.

Chi Yan was even more open: “I’ve seen it when I climbed over the low wall in your yard, your underwear was drying on the balcony.”

……

The two looked at each other for a moment, and Chi Yan reached out to tease his chin: “Why are you looking at me like this, your second floor is so high, I can’t steal anything.”

“………” Ji Heyi was speechless.

In the silence, he grabbed Chi Yan’s hand, lowered his head and quietly looked at his expression for a while, “When……….”

He tried to recall the impression of Chi Yan when he was in his teens.

“Hmm? When——are you asking when we met? Or when did I start to have ill intentions towards you?” Chi Yan clasped his hand back into his arms.

Without waiting for Ji Heyi to think more, he opened his mouth and said: “We met at your school, you called my name as soon as you saw me, and led me to find Chi Cong, I guess you don’t remember, as for when I started to like you………..” The person involved stopped recalling for a long time, and didn’t find a specific month or day, he tugged at the corner of his mouth, with a laughing tone that was either frivolous or complacent, “I don’t remember, I don’t even remember when I had my first wet dream, but I still remember the hot dream object——”q

Ji Heyi met his gaze.

“I’m sorry——I was ignorant when I was young, and I offended you in my dreams from time to time.” Chi Yan kissed the back of his hand slightly to apologize.

Ji Heyi’s fingers moved from his mouth corner to his eyes.

Chi Yan looked at him: “Although we didn’t talk much, but I followed Chi Cong, and we met quite a few times, you……….” He cleared his throat, turned over and hugged his waist, “Do you have any impression of me when I was in my teens? What was I like in your eyes………? Just say anything.”

“………At first, it was from your brother’s mouth, how you provoked him, how he dealt with you.” Ji Heyi gradually remembered that they had indeed met quite a few times before, but perhaps because he was in his twenties, his impression was too vivid, and the teenage Chi Yan always only had a vague shadow, “Later when I saw you in person, I still thought that Chi Cong’s rumors were exaggerated, you were clearly a very quiet and sensible kid, didn’t talk much………seemed a bit aloof?”

“Ah.” Chi Yan’s face leaned against his waist, “I……….didn’t dare to talk to you much at that time, I was nervous even when I was two steps close to you, but I still felt that I was always fumbling around, so I was actually quite steady, not a jumping monkey?……….Anything else?”

“……..Later we didn’t see each other much, I was not in the same university as Chi Cong. It was still from Chi Cong’s mouth——” Ji Heyi paused, his fingers ran through his hair a few times, “He often hid here, complaining that you brought a new boyfriend home to meet your parents, your dad broke a baseball bat, and your mom broke a clothes hanger.”

“……..” Chi Yan listened.

He looked up at Ji Heyi, Ji Heyi and he looked at each other for a moment, and then he flicked his forehead.

“I……” He hesitated for a moment, “That’s not considered being in my teens anymore, I was already an adult then.”

“Hmm.” Ji Heyi recalled, “Eighteen? Nineteen? That’s considered adulthood.”

“…..”

“I was……..” After a long while, Chi Yan spoke again, “………Normally, when someone comes out of the closet, there has to be someone they come out to. When I said it at fifteen or sixteen, my parents didn’t take it seriously, and Chi Cong didn’t take it seriously. You——you and I had no relationship, why would you care about my sexual orientation……..I just…….”

He was quiet for a while, his voice softened, “………I just……..saw that you also had a girlfriend, I didn’t dare to provoke you, and I had no way to make a move on you, but it seemed………..it seemed like I proved to everyone that I liked men, and when I talked to you, I could say a bit more………something like——‘I like men, you better be careful’…….like that.”

Chi Yan also felt that his own behavior during his second year was unreasonable, and immediately changed the subject: “What about you?”

As soon as the words came out, he realized that this change of topic was even more unbearable, but he braced himself and asked: “You……your ex, how did you break up?”

Ji Heyi didn’t say much: “We broke up peacefully, the other party said to break up, and I agreed.”

Chi Yan: “……”

He timely stopped the topic, hugged Ji Heyi’s waist again, stopped talking, and let him focus on watching the movie.

After a while, he reached out to take the phone from the side of the table, unlocked it with Ji Heyi’s fingerprint, and quietly started surfing the internet.

The movie was going on quietly, Ji Heyi took the time to look at the person on his leg, seeing that his eyes had never left the phone.

“Do you still have battery?” He remembered that the phone didn’t have much battery when he took it, “The charger is in the bedroom.”

“No need, it will be fine in a while.”

As he spoke, Chi Yan turned over to face the outside of the sofa, Ji Heyi glanced over, just to see his phone screen, a series of dark photos with big words on top: “What does Chi Cong, who has left the retouching, really look like? A set of candid photos tells you.” Looking closely, he could also see the mark of a famous entertainment forum in the upper right corner.

Ji Heyi: “……….What are you doing?”

Chi Yan yawned, unconcerned: “Chi Cong has blackened me in front of my male god for so many years, I’ll reply to him with one post first, and the remaining ninety-nine black posts will be made up when I have time.”

“……….” Ji Heyi didn’t mention finding the charger for him anymore.

After Chi Yan posted his pictures, he didn’t go to see the bloody replies, and started watching the movie with Ji Heyi in a side-lying position, facing the lead actor on the screen without a trace of guilt for his behind-the-scenes actions.

In the movie, Chi Cong still looks like he’s seventeen or eighteen, his eyebrows and eyes full of youthful arrogance.

Ji Heyi had just tried hard to recall, and only had a thin impression of Chi Yan in his teens. At this moment, in the pursed lips and staring expression of the movie’s protagonist, it seemed as if he had touched some hidden memory point and instantly remembered his more vivid and three-dimensional teenage appearance.

He reached out to Chi Yan’s eyes, his fingers stopping at his brow bone: “When Chi Cong played this role, he might have referred to you, you in your teens.”

Chi Yan was stunned: “I can’t see it……….” He can now openly talk about his once unspeakable thoughts, “But it’s me, I’ve always been imitating him to flirt with you, he’s always been silly when he laughs.”

Ji Heyi was also stunned, touched his face, and said truthfully: “Then you probably really don’t have any acting talent.”

“……”

With Ji Heyi’s words, Chi Yan couldn’t help but focus on watching the movie, studying the expressions and movements of the protagonist. However, after thinking for a long time, all he could see was Chi Cong’s especially fresh and tender face under this appearance. He turned his head and saw Ji Heyi watching seriously………tch.

He couldn’t help it, he raised his body and hooked his neck, turning his face over: “Am I handsome or is Chi Cong handsome?”

Ji Heyi: “You.”

Ji Heyi faced this insurmountable obstacle head-on, with endless patience for his old talks, he sorted out his thoughts, trying to solve it all at once: “Your face is smaller than his, your eyes are bigger, your nose is more upright.” He ran his hand down his spine, and massaged his waist, “Your legs are longer, your waist is thinner, your butt is perkier.”

Chi Yan kissed his eyes and focused on the main point: “…When did you start paying attention to his waist, legs, and butt?”

Ji Heyi: “…”

The silence made the dialogue of the characters in the movie seem a bit noisy.

Chi Yan immediately tangled back, their lips and teeth interlocked, and he mumbled: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t control myself, I’ve been jealous for one or two years.”

In the midst of an intimate embrace, a gentle melody that soothes people from head to toe comes forth. In the movie, there is a man’s voice, deep and mellow, carrying a hidden affection: “I like you——Surprised? I didn’t originally plan to say it…”

Chi Yan paused in his actions and turned to look at the screen.

The scene on the screen was not a cold snow mountain, but a narrow courtyard in the summer night bathed in moonlight, the sound of cicadas was somewhat distorted, the scent of wine was not detectable, the confessor’s words and smiles alone stirred the foreshadowing in the distant story, disappearing in the understated melody.

The two watched this confession side by side. By the time the movie scene had changed twice, Chi Yan spoke in the quiet: “Speaking of which…I have to thank this line.” He rested his chin on Ji Heyi’s shoulder, “If it weren’t for that dialogue making me think that you could also be with men, I might…”

What might happen? Not going after it? He couldn’t imagine the outcome of the hypothetical situation where the two of them had nothing to do with each other.

Maybe he wouldn’t have made a move so early? But he already felt that the days when he could stare at him with justified confidence were too late.

Ji Heyi kissed his cheek: “It’s late, go back and rest.”

“Hmm?” Chi Yan came back to his senses, seeing him turn off the projector, “Isn’t there still half an hour of the movie?”

Ji Heyi also turned off the computer.

“……….You just wanted to watch this part, you should have said so earlier, I could have recited it for you.” He pulled Ji Heyi’s hand, “You even brought me out specially, waited an hour to watch these three minutes——now that you’ve watched it, what are your thoughts?”

Ji Heyi thought for a moment: “I thought the confession you remembered for so long was so sincere and heartfelt, now I’m thinking about whether to find a few books to learn some sweet talk.” He looked at Chi Yan and said thoughtfully, “……..You seem to have this need.”

Their eyes met, Chi Yan leaned over to kiss his eyes, all the way from the bridge of his nose to his mouth, and he couldn’t help but bite.

“What kind of textbook are you looking for, isn’t it enough for you to be influenced by me day by day?”

Opportunities are fleeting, time will not come again, Chi Yan hooked the corner of his mouth: “You don’t need to learn too much, just follow the lines in the movie that I’ve remembered for so long, and say it once.”

He spoke in a lighter tone to Ji Heyi, who was recalling the lines, as if coaxing a child: “Say it once?”

It’s impossible to remember every word, but he hasn’t forgotten the first sentence: “I like you——”

“Cut.” Chi Yan bumped his forehead against his, savored it for a long time, and pushed his luck, “Say it again……slowly.”

Ji Heyi closed his eyes, kissed his lips, and his voice was full of tenderness, “I like you.”

“……..Ah.” Chi Yan opened his mouth, and sat upright on the sofa.

Ji Heyi pulled him up, led him back to the room, and asked: “Say it again?”

The person who was still savoring the moment blurted out: “I like you.” He was dragged out of the study, and said it again, “I like you.”

He turned his head to look at him: “Isn’t it better than you?”

“I’m ashamed to admit it.” Ji Heyi closed the study door, “I’ll practice more in the future.”

-The End-