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Heartless
“He has children too?” Xiao Man was shocked.
“Otherwise?” Mother Xiao replied. “Do you think others don’t know you were married in the countryside? If you can’t find someone who’s never been married, then you have to lower your standards. Do you want to settle for someone less desirable?”
Mother Xiao was helpless. If her daughter hadn’t experienced so many troubles being sent to the countryside, she certainly wouldn’t be marrying such a man. A widower with a pair of children. This man was related to the Ji family. The Ji family was one of the most prestigious families in Rongcheng, and it was a large family. Even if he was just a person with some connections, there would be many benefits.
What was most important to Mother Xiao was that she didn’t want her daughter to suffer any more. Marrying this man would spare her daughter from more hardship in the future. Whether or not her daughter would have children didn’t matter much.
Mother Xiao knew that Xiao Man had once considered aborting her child, but Xiao Man’s health was poor, so she didn’t go through with it. After Xiao Man returned to the city, Mother Xiao had taken her to see a doctor, who said Xiao Man’s health was compromised and that it would be difficult for her to conceive in the future.
Few men are willing to have children, and if Xiao Man married a man without children, that man might abandon her if she couldn’t get pregnant soon. Even if they didn’t divorce, he might seek other women.
The doctor had said Xiao Man’s chances of conceiving were very slim. Despite that, Mother Xiao believed it was better for Xiao Man to marry a man with children. She wasn’t considering letting Lin Qingqing stay with Xiao Man. Mother Xiao firmly believed that as long as Xiao Man took care of her health, everything would be fine. As for Lin Qingqing, a country girl, she was seen as a stain that was better off not appearing in their lives.
“You’ve seen the doctor too. You should know the situation,” Mother Xiao said. “Take the medicine to improve your health, but be prepared for other possibilities.”
“Mom, don’t worry. I’ll go on the blind date tomorrow.” Xiao Man said.
“That’s right,” Mother Xiao agreed. “Marrying a city person is always better than marrying a country bumpkin.”
Lin Chengshan returned home with Lin Qingqing, who had already been asleep for a long time. Lin Chengshan did not let Lin Qingqing sleep with him because he had to pack his things.
Fortunately, the weather was warm, so they didn’t need to take many clothes, just what they had recently worn.
Lin Chengshan opened the wardrobe and looked at the clothes inside. They were old clothes that Xiao Man had collected from other villagers for Lin Qingqing to wear. Xiao Man herself had not made many new clothes, and when it came to her daughter, she said it was unnecessary to make new clothes since children get their clothes dirty easily. Buying new clothes for the New Year was already considered generous.
“These clothes…” Lin Chengshan rummaged through them and found a few that were in good condition. Some clothes tore easily, indicating they had been worn for many years and were deteriorating. Some were better, with more patches, but still usable.
Lin Chengshan selected three sets of clean clothes without too many patches. He would buy new clothes for his daughter when they got to the city. What mattered most was not how much they took from the countryside but how safely they could get to the city with his daughter.
“They’re all fine, still wearable.” Lin Qingqing saw her father frown and quickly said, “Just be careful.”
Lin Qingqing had torn her clothes before, and her mother had told her she didn’t know how to dress properly, so she needed to be more careful.
“I won’t go out to play. After finishing the work, I can lie down,” Lin Qingqing said.
When Lin Chengshan heard his daughter’s words, the corners of his mouth twitched slightly. He knew that those very poor families only had one or two sets of clothes, and everyone took turns wearing the clothes and going out for a walk, while the others stayed at home. This way, they could consume less energy and eat less.
“You can go out to play.” Lin Chengshan said, “But you can’t go alone. If you go by yourself, there are bad people outside who might kidnap and sell you. You need to go with Daddy, okay?”
“Mm-hmm.” Lin Qingqing nodded vigorously. “I’ll listen to Daddy.”
Lin Chengshan finished packing his daughter’s clothes and let her sleep. He then went to his own room to pack. Xiao Man had left behind some clothes. She thought those clothes were too old and didn’t want to take them, planning to buy new clothes in the city.
“…” Lin Chengshan didn’t know what to say. The clothes still looked relatively new and wearable.
Forget it, he decided to leave those clothes behind. Lin Chengshan didn’t want them.
In his previous life, Lin Chengshan had initially slept with Xiao Man’s clothes. But now, he is not the same as before. He didn’t care about Xiao Man as much. By the end of his previous life, he had lost all affection for Xiao Man and felt resentment towards her, believing she was partly responsible for their daughter’s death.
Lin Chengshan dug out the money he had hidden at home. He hadn’t told Xiao Man where the money was hidden because he knew she spent money recklessly and was not good at saving. She often spent all the money quickly and had him send more.
Sending money took time, so Lin Chengshan had hidden the money in various corners of the house.
When Lin Chengshan went to dig up the money, he found that a significant amount was missing. Xiao Man must have done a thorough search before leaving, knowing Lin Chengshan’s habit of hiding money. She likely took it, needing money for the journey and not wanting to constantly ask her parents for money once in the city.
Zhou Laidi had not received any money and had been severely scolded by Old Lady Lin, which made her very unhappy.
In the room, Zhou Laidi complained to Lin Chengshan.
“Your aunt and uncle are really heartless.” Zhou Laidi said. “I begged them, but they refused to give me money.”
“They’ve always been like that, just like a treasure chest that only receives but never gives.” Lin Chengshan replied. “Asking them for money is like trying to cut flesh from their bodies.”
“But that’s money they owe.” Zhou Laidi insisted.
“Why did you go directly after second brother gave you the IOU?” Lin Chenghai asked.
“What else could I do?” Zhou Laidi replied. “If I told Mom, there’s no chance we’d get any of that money. The money for Meihua’s sale is still with your mom.”
“Mom manages the household, so if she has it, so be it.” Lin Chenghai didn’t dare to say much more.
“By the way, will your second brother stay in this small village forever?” Zhou Laidi asked.
Xiao Man had already returned to the city, and Lin Chengshan, who liked her so much, how could he possibly stay in the countryside?
Not only Zhou Laidi thought this way, but many people in the village did too. They all felt that Lin Chengshan couldn’t win Xiao Man back, but they also believed that Lin Chengshan would definitely go to the city to pursue her. He had to try to see how heartless Xiao Man could be.
“It’s his own fault. He spent so much money on Xiao Man and was so good to her,” Zhou Laidi said. “Xiao Man always wore new clothes and ate pastries, while their daughter wore old clothes and watched her mother eat.”
Zhou Laidi felt wronged. She had tried hard today and ended up with nothing. It left her feeling discontented, especially since she had no sons. She had no status in her in-laws’ home and had just been scolded by her mother-in-law, whom she dared not contradict.
“I heard he even sold his job,” Zhou Laidi continued. “I don’t know how much he sold it for. Look… can you go and borrow some money from him? Just say it’s for redeeming Meihua. If he really cares about his niece, he should provide the money. If he hadn’t refused to sell his daughter, our daughter wouldn’t have been taken away by the Ge family.”
The more Zhou Laidi thought about it, the more she felt it was all Lin Chengshan’s fault. Since Xiao Man had left, Lin Chengshan had no reason to keep Lin Qingqing around. A little girl who only knew how to eat was a waste of food and a hindrance to Lin Chengshan finding a new partner. It would be better to send Lin Qingqing to the Ge family.
“By the way, if he takes Qingqing to the city, what will happen to their house?” Zhou Laidi asked. “If no one lives there, it will easily deteriorate.”
At night, Lin Qingqing lay on her bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
Lin Qingqing thought about the big meat buns and steamed cakes she had eaten today. She licked her lips. Those things were really delicious, and she had never eaten so many good things in one day.
Lin Qingqing hugged the stuffed doll that was beside her. This doll was given to her by her mother.
“Is this a dream?” Lin Qingqing hugged the doll tightly.
The doll didn’t answer her. Lin Qingqing continued to talk to herself, “Not a dream, not a dream, not a dream…”
Lin Qingqing rolled around on the bed, unable to sleep.
When Lin Chengshan came to check if Lin Qingqing had her blanket on, he found that she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. He turned on the light, and Lin Qingqing quickly closed her eyes.
“Not asleep yet?” Lin Chengshan could tell that Lin Qingqing was pretending.
Lin Qingqing cautiously opened her eyes, still holding the doll, and asked, “Dad, is this a dream?”
“This isn’t a dream.” Lin Chengshan saw the doll in his daughter’s arms. His memories of his daughter were already quite blurred, but he still remembered that the doll was given by Xiao Man.
According to Zhao Xintong and others, the doll had fallen into the river, and Lin Qingqing had gone to retrieve it, which led to her falling into the river. The other children were too young to help, and by the time adults arrived, Lin Qingqing had already passed away.
Silly daughter, even though her biological mother treated her poorly, she always cherished the doll her mother had given her.
Lin Chengshan felt he hadn’t given his daughter many things. He promised himself he would give her more in the future. He took a fan and gently waved it next to Lin Qingqing.
“Sleep now.” Lin Chengshan didn’t take the doll from her arms. Later, he would replace it with other gifts.
“Daddy,” Lin Qingqing called again.
“I’m here,” Lin Chengshan replied.
Lin Qingqing felt a bit full and couldn’t sleep, and she even hiccuped.
Lin Chengshan decided to gently rub Lin Qingqing’s stomach. He had only wanted his daughter to eat well today but hadn’t thought about whether she could finish all the food. He thought it wasn’t much, considering she hadn’t had dinner yet.
After a while, Lin Qingqing finally relaxed and fell asleep. Lin Chengshan watched his daughter sleep peacefully and sighed. In the end, as parents, they hadn’t given their daughter enough security and hadn’t been good enough to her.
Early the next morning, Lin Chengshan got up early and made some food, including fried eggs and plain porridge.
The weather was too hot, and the meat would spoil easily. Since there was no refrigerator at home, they had to use the well to preserve food. Lin Chengshan’s home didn’t have a well, they used tap water.
Lin Chengshan carried Lin Qingqing in one arm and a bag in the other, and they boarded a tractor with the village head. Lin Chengshan sold his bicycle to the village head’s family for sixty yuan.
To resolve things quickly, Lin Chengshan didn’t ask for much money. The village head’s family had been helpful to him before, so he was content with the price.
It was still early, and there weren’t many people on the road.
This wasn’t the rice-planting season, so many people slept in a bit later in the morning compared to the busy farming season.
“Have you eaten?” the village head asked, taking out a steamed bun and placing it in front of Lin Qingqing.
Lin Qingqing hesitated to take it and looked at her father.
“Eat it,” Lin Chengshan said as he took the bun from the village head and put it in Lin Qingqing’s hand. “If you can’t eat it, keep it for later. Don’t overeat.”
“Put it away,” Lin Qingqing said, looking at the village head. “Thank you, Uncle.”
“Qingqing is really well-behaved,” the village head said with emotion. “Your daughter is truly very well-behaved. I’ve never seen such a good child. At two or three years old, children are usually very restless, but your daughter can even help with tasks.”
“She’s too well-behaved.” Lin Chengshan thought he didn’t need his daughter to be so obedient. He wouldn’t mind if she were a bit more mischievous.
By the time Lin Chenghai went to find Lin Chengshan, Lin Chengshan was no longer in the village. Lin Chengshan’s house was locked, and the key was with the village head. Of course, Lin Chengshan hadn’t informed the Lin family of his actions.
“Where is he? Where did he go?” Lin Chenghai was puzzled as he touched the large lock on the door.
“It was still dark when I saw him leaving with his bag and the child.” Someone passing by happened to see it and said, “He’s probably taking the child to chase after his wife, hoping she might come back for the child’s sake. But since she’s already left, where could she possibly come back from?”
“Left with the child?” Lin Chenghai was shocked, “He just came back yesterday. How could he leave so soon?”
“If you want to chase after your wife, you have to act fast. If he doesn’t hurry, his wife might run off with someone else,” the person said, “Of course he’s in a hurry; he has to be quick.”
In Rongcheng, in a room, Xiao Man looked at the new clothes in the wardrobe. After returning to the city, her mother bought her several new outfits. Xiao Man’s sister-in-law wasn’t very pleased upon seeing them. The sister-in-law felt that Mother Xiao was too good to Xiao Man.
“Mom, what do you think of this outfit for the blind date?” Xiao Man asked while wearing a new dress, seeking her mother’s advice.
**
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Ayalee[Translator]
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