{Satou-san’s Best Effort}

On Saturday afternoon, I found myself alone on a train, swaying with its movements.

After transferring trains twice, the destination was an airport. The very airport where Satou-san was supposed to meet that person.

It was already late in the day, the sun beginning to set, and there was no plausible excuse to call this a casual stroll. No one would believe me if I said I was just out for a walk when I was clearly heading to an airport in the neighboring prefecture after multiple train transfers.

Fortunately, I didn’t run into anyone I knew on the train, so I sat in the corner, lost in thought.

To be honest, I still hadn’t made up my mind.

I had spent the early afternoon feeling restless, and though I had finally boarded the train as if pushed by some unseen force, I wasn’t sure what I intended to do once I arrived at the airport. In fact, I was aware that my actions bordered on stalking.

I glanced at my watch.

It was fifteen minutes before 5 PM.

Satou-san was probably already at the airport. Knowing her, she wouldn’t be late, and might have even been waiting there for hours. I didn’t know what time the person she was meeting was supposed to arrive, or if they would even show up.

The unease still lingered. I had been anxious from the beginning. Even after hearing her story in the nurse’s office, there was no way I could be at ease. But I was also in no state to make rational decisions. That’s why I resolved not to share my anxiety with Satou-san.

I just didn’t want Satou-san to get hurt. That was my primary concern.

I was heading to the airport to confirm that this anxiety was unfounded, that it was completely off the mark.

But seeing Satou-san happy would probably be just as painful. Deep down, I didn’t wish for Satou-san’s happiness at all, yet here I was, heading to the airport. Along with this persistent anxiety, there was an undeniable feeling I couldn’t shake.

I liked Satou-san.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it, the more it sank in, and the more it trapped me. Despite the growing sense of urgency driving me forward, I still hadn’t sorted out my feelings. What did I really want? The lines between my true feelings and my excuses blurred as I swayed on the train, making everything confusing.

The only thing I knew for sure was that, even on a day like this, even in a situation like this, I wanted to see Satou-san.

Satou-san was waiting for someone else, not me.

And yet, precisely because of that, I couldn’t help but want to see her.

I wished she would look my way. I wished I could make her turn towards me. Despite not having any right to act on such feelings, they grew stronger, becoming more tangled and impossible to unravel.

Satou-san was looking at someone else, thinking about someone else—not me.

Even so, I was heading towards her. I was being stubborn, refusing to accept reality. What did I think I was going to do when I got there? I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. What was I planning to do once I arrived?

With no answers, my heart was carried away, tangled in its own complexity.

By the time I arrived at the airport, it was just after 5 PM.

Since tomorrow was Sunday, the airport was quite crowded. I was swept along by the crowd onto an escalator leading to the lobby.

I had no idea where she was. The airport wasn’t that large, so I figured I could search the whole place.

If she was still there, that is. There was always the chance she had already left. If the person she was meeting had arrived, Satou-san might not be there anymore. They might have just met. When I reached the lobby, I could find them embracing each other—fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I didn’t see any such sight as I stepped off the escalator.

Wandering through the glaringly bright lobby, I searched for her.

The lobby was filled with people. Families, groups of friends, businessmen in suits, and couples who looked close.

Yet no matter how much I scanned the area, I couldn’t find the familiar sight of Satou-san, with her hair tied in a simple ponytail and her plain appearance.

I had seen her in casual clothes before. I was confident I’d recognize her if I saw her.

But she wasn’t there.

A long line was forming at the boarding gate. It must have been time for a flight. The lobby was growing more crowded. I slipped through the throng of people, wandering aimlessly around the lobby.

Where was Satou-san?

Had she already left the airport? Had we missed each other? By the time I arrived, had she already met the person and left the airport? I couldn’t believe anything until I searched every corner with my own eyes.

What would I do if I found her? I hadn’t thought about that either.

For now, just seeing her, confirming she was there, would be enough.

What if she was with the person she was meeting? I wouldn’t be able to approach her. In that case, I’d turn around and leave the airport without a word.

What if she was still waiting, alone? Would I be able to talk to her? Satou-san would say she could wait forever if needed. But if that happened, what should I do?

What should I do with these overwhelming feelings? It was no longer the right time to confess them. Not saying anything was painful. But even if I did confess, knowing she wouldn’t accept them would only make things harder for her. That I had followed her all the way here was already enough of a burden on her. And yet, I kept walking, kept searching. What did I plan to do after that?

I scanned the crowded lobby once more.

It was too big, too crowded to search easily. There were all kinds of people—those lining up at the boarding gate, those browsing the souvenir shops, those chatting in the lobby, those checking the electronic board and their watches—I weaved through them all, continuing my search.

Suddenly, something caught my eye.

In a corner of the lobby, far from the boarding gate, I noticed it as if drawn to it. I finally found that familiar profile.

Her hair was still tied back in a ponytail, just like always. It had been a while since I’d seen her out of her school uniform. She was wearing a denim skirt and a plain long-sleeved T-shirt. Sneakers on her feet. As expected, she looked plain and out of place. But perhaps this was her best attempt at dressing up.

Even from here, I could tell her expression was tense. She was staring fixedly at one spot. Her hands were clasped in front of her, and I could see a phone gripped tightly between them.

I stopped a few meters away.

Satou-san, whom I had finally found, was doing her best to put on a brave face, and she was still alone.

I checked my watch. It was just past 5:30 PM.

Then I looked back at her and sighed.

Having made it this far, the moment of decision had finally arrived for me too.