{Satou-san and My Fundamental Changes (1)}

On a Christmas Eve afternoon where the hot breath could be visible in the cold air.

With my hands stuffed into the pockets of my coat, I was staring across the street. If Satou-san were coming, she would definitely be coming from that direction. I kept my eyes peeled, making sure her figure wouldn’t get lost in the wave of people passing by.

The arcade adorned with Christmas lights and the leafless street trees on the street in front of the station were crowded, perhaps due to the Christmas Eve. Everyone seemed to be walking a bit faster. I, too, had been feeling rushed since the beginning of this month, due to the upcoming university entrance exams and the approaching graduation.

As a student preparing for exams, I shouldn’t have time to think about unnecessary things—but thinking about graduation fills me with anxiety. Will I still be able to make plans like this with Satou-san after graduation? Will she remember me despite the significant changes in her environment? How long will we remain friends? Even though I’ve spent days with her as if it were a matter of course, it feels like nothing has fundamentally changed. Despite the fact that our relationship has surely changed since spring.

We were supposed to have changed since then. Even though we were no longer seated next to each other due to the seating rearrangement, there was no need to worry. We could still talk in the same classroom and make plans to meet on weekends. We could exchange words via email or phone. Those times were enjoyable and very happy.

But that happiness has visibly decreased since the beginning of this month. We had less time to talk in class, and it had been a while since we last met on weekends. Perhaps out of consideration for me as an examinee, Satou-san’s contact had decreased day by day. It was making it harder for me to concentrate on studying.

What will happen if we graduate under these conditions? I’m aiming for a university in the city, while Satou-san will be commuting daily to the neighboring town. We’ll both become busy, and if we expand our social circles in different environments, the ties from high school might quickly become distant. To prevent that, I feel we need to change fundamentally. I want to turn Satou-san’s insensitivity around and somehow escape from the friends-only relationship.

That’s why I invited her out on Christmas Eve. There’s no room for failure in today’s date. I have to make a perfect plan, execute it flawlessly, and ensure its success.

“Yamaguchi-kun!”

Suddenly called, I looked up. I immediately spotted Satou-san walking towards me from across the street.

She waved at me through the crowd, carrying a rather large paper bag. She adjusted her grip on it with both hands and awkwardly approached me. Her steps seemed unsteady.

What’s with that paper bag? It’s unusually large and looks heavy. It doesn’t quite fit with her stylish outfit of a pea coat and denim skirt. I mean, even though we’re going on a date, bringing such a big load is typically Satou-san’s thoughtlessness. I walked towards her while internally grumbling.

“I’m sorry for making you wait.”

Satou-san, dressed in a navy pea coat, was breathless. Sweat was even forming on her forehead. She hugged the paper bag and smiled with her flushed cheeks.

“I was surprised by how many people there are. It really feels like December.”

“Yeah.”

I nodded. Then, I glanced at the paper bag she was holding. The bag, marked with the name of a department store, was bulging with small round items, almost ready to burst. What could be inside? And what does she plan to do with such a large load?

“What’s that?”

Unable to resist my curiosity, I asked directly. Satou-san smiled brightly and replied,

“Well, it’s a secret for now. It’s a surprise!”

“Hm…”

I acted indifferent, but anxiety lingered in my chest.

What could it be? Could it be a Christmas present for me? I’d appreciate the gesture, but if she’s giving me everything in that bag, it’s going to be tough. It’s hard to carry, and bringing it home would be even worse. Surely she’s not giving me everything in that bag. Even Satou-san wouldn’t do that.

“Do you want me to carry it for you?”

I asked, but she immediately shook her head.

“No, it’s okay. It’s quite heavy, so it’s tough to carry.”

“Then, even more reason for me to carry it…”

“It’s fine. It’s a surprise.”

Satou-san, who’s stubborn about trivial matters, kept holding the bag as we walked side by side. Watching her breath heavily as she walked, I let out a quiet sigh.

—It seems I need to rethink the plan.

After all, it’s been a while since our last date. And since I’m an examinee, I won’t be able to make plans for a while. So I had made sure the plan was flawless. Going to eat cake, strolling through the shopping district, walking to see the Christmas lights and tree, and then heading to a park with no crowds—my carefully thought-out date plan was easily shattered by that one paper bag. What destructive power.

I couldn’t drag Satou-san, who was already out of breath, around everywhere. If that’s really a present for me, I need to consider my own stamina and energy as well. I reluctantly restructured the rest of the day’s plans.

We entered a cake shop on the street in front of the station. The eat-in space was already crowded, and only counter seats were available. Once I sat down next to Satou-san, she blushed slightly and said,

“It’s been a while since we’ve been seated next to each other.”

“True.”

Agreeing, I sighed again. It’s fine to be seated next to her, but I’d rather be facing each other here. It feels like everything will go wrong if one thing goes awry.

After ordering, Satou-san took a sip of water. The paper bag was on her lap. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she spoke to me.

“It’s been a while since we met like this.”

She had removed her coat and was wearing a black sweater. Surprisingly, black suited her well. And the pink ribbon tying her hair into a ponytail was familiar.

“This time of year is always busy.”

I answered, and Satou-san nodded.

“I suppose so. Isn’t studying for exams tough?”

“Of course, it’s not easy.”

“I’ve been thinking it must be tough since everyone in class is in exam mode. Be careful not to catch a cold.”

Satou-san wasn’t an examinee. She was the only one in our class not aiming for further education. Even though East High School is a top public school in the prefecture, with graduates rarely going straight into work, Satou-san had decided to join a local company. Perhaps that was why she seemed somewhat out of place in our class. Though it was a somewhat enviable way to be out of place.

“You’re the one who must be busy, considering you have to look out for everyone.”

Satou-san laughed at my words.

“Yeah, it’s not too bad, but I still worry. I try to avoid saying things like ‘fail’ or ‘slip through’…”

She then quickly covered her mouth, flustered.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that in front of you, Yamaguchi-kun…”

“It’s fine. I’m not concerned.”

I lightly laughed, as I’m not one to be superstitious. I don’t believe in such things.

“I have to be careful.”

Satou-san murmured to herself. I thought she must have her own struggles.

Inside the bustling shop, the staff were working busily. There seemed to be quite a few customers waiting for their orders. Our cake might also arrive late.

Satou-san seemed to prefer the cold water now. A slight delay in the arrival of our order might be just right. It had been a while since we talked, and this was a good opportunity to chat.

“How’s your exam study going?”

Once her sweat seemed to have subsided, Satou-san asked in a calm tone.

“Well, it’s progressing reasonably.”

When I answered vaguely, she immediately smiled.

“I’m sure you’re handling it with ease.”

“Not really, but it’s not like I’m in a dire situation.”

It’s Satou-san’s fault I’m feeling so rushed. It’s her fault I can’t focus on my studies. Though she spoke as if it were someone else’s problem, I couldn’t exactly say that.

Instead, I retorted.

“If you think I’m handling it easily, you don’t need to hold back with emails or calls.”

“Eh…? But…”

Satou-san hesitated and then continued,

“I thought it might be a nuisance to your studying, so I’ve been holding back. I thought you’re the type who works hard quietly and might be putting in a lot of effort behind the scenes.”

She said that with a small laugh.

“Don’t you get scolded by your mom for sending emails at night?”

“As long as it’s not late at night, it’s fine. It won’t disturb my studying, so please don’t hesitate.”

“Okay, got it. I’ll keep in touch as usual.”

As she nodded, the pink ribbon on her hair swayed. I was distracted by it every time it moved.

“You really do seem to have everything under control, Yamaguchi-kun.”

“Not really.”

Satou-san seemed far more composed than I was, in every way.