{Our Graduation (1)}

In late February, I was called out by Satou-san.

“Could you spare a little time? I want to see you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

It was when I had finished the first round of university entrance exams and called to report the results. My self-assessment was generally satisfactory, and while I wasn’t optimistic enough to relax right away, I had both a sense of accomplishment and confidence. When I told Satou-san this, she was very happy and then told me:

“I want to meet you before the graduation ceremony. There’s something I want to talk about.”

It would be strange not to feel some anticipation after being told that.

I also wanted to see Satou-san. The long and difficult life of a test-taker was not yet over, and I still needed to prepare for the second round of exams just in case. The announcement of the results for the first round would be the day before the graduation ceremony in two weeks, and depending on the results, March could be either rosy or gray. So, if I wanted to meet before the graduation ceremony, now was the only chance.

I had wanted to visit her with the news of my acceptance—though Satou-san’s request made it clear that there was no way I could refuse.

Since I had received chocolate on Valentine’s Day, I prepared a return gift, even if it was a bit early, and went to meet Satou-san.

The meeting place was the usual spot in front of the station.

After meeting up with Satou-san, who was wrapped in a navy peacoat and scarf, I took her to a nearby, ordinary children’s park. Normally, one would take someone to a place full of memories for such a meeting, but for us, our memorable places were either that classroom at school, the meeting spot in front of the station, or the airport—none of which were suitable. The third option was particularly unsuitable.

So, we ended up on the swings.

As it was February, the park was empty, and although I casually suggested we sit on a bench, Satou-san eagerly jumped onto the swings first. Reluctantly, I joined her on the adjacent swing. I couldn’t possibly say that it was inappropriate at our age. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

It was a cloudy day with only occasional rays of sunshine. The biting winter wind was cold, and Satou-san’s single-bun hairstyle fluttered in the wind. The park’s corner still had dirty, slushy snow. Even with gloves on, it was chilly, and I ended up having to push the swing. If I didn’t keep moving, I felt like I might freeze.

So, what was the topic she wanted to discuss? As I was eager to find out, Satou-san suddenly spoke up.

“Yamaguchi-kun, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Will you listen?”

She was swinging gently. Due to the sway, it took me a moment to notice the awkwardness of her smile.

Before I could ask what it was about, she continued while swinging.

“Well, I… I like you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

I stared at Satou-san, whose cheeks and ears were red from the cold, in shock.

Inside, I thought two things simultaneously:

What does this mean?

This can’t be a dream.

Of course, it goes without saying that I liked Satou-san.

It wasn’t something I had kept hidden in my heart all this time; I had clearly expressed these feelings to Satou-san before summer.

But since then, she had never once mentioned it.

“I’d be happy if you started liking me, even if it’s not right away.”

She had nodded to that. But that was all.

Her attitude was suggestive. She had never rejected any invitations to dates, and during the cultural festival, she wanted the photo we took together even though I was in that ridiculous mouse costume. She also gave me a Christmas present, something very practical. I also received chocolate on Valentine’s Day, not handed directly but sent by courier.

I thought there was a chance. I wanted to believe it.

I had decided to ask her again after the results of the entrance exam came out if I passed.

So, today’s invitation and the confession-like words were sudden.

What does “liking” mean? Is this for real? It isn’t some dream, right? What is Satou-san thinking? Why did she suddenly say something like that? What does she like about me? Does Satou-san even understand what “liking” means? It’s doubtful because it’s Satou-san.

“I actually wanted to tell you at the graduation ceremony, but…”

Satou-san continued while swinging.

“But I thought I’d probably cry at the graduation ceremony. So, if I’m going to say it, it has to be now.”

I had thought the same thing. Satou-san would cry. Even during the standard ceremony, she would likely cry, making it a tearful graduation. So, I had also considered not confessing on that day—

But I never expected she would say it first.

It should make me happy. But until I confirm her true intentions, I couldn’t be genuinely happy. After all, it’s Satou-san, and it’s usual for her to be ambiguous and make me feel confused.

So, I asked.

“Satou-san, what does that mean?”

“What do you mean by ‘what does it mean’…”

Satou-san’s swing came to an abrupt halt as if she hadn’t expected to be asked again.

She tapped the icy ground with her shoe and looked down with her red cheeks.

“Um, well…”

Clearly, she hadn’t thought about what to say next. She looked as if she was a high-ranking official who was unexpectedly asked to give a speech, and eventually, she only raised her gaze.

“We’re about to graduate, but…”

She spoke in a small voice, almost drowned out by the cold wind.

“I’d like us to stay close…”

“Close.”

Her words shattered the faint hope I had held. It was carried away by the cold wind and scattered.

Because it meant that.

“Eh…”

Pathetically, that was all I could say.

I wasn’t sure what expression I had. This was like going from heaven to hell. No, I still didn’t want to give up hope.

I took a deep breath.

“Well, Satou-san. When you say ‘close,’ what do you mean…”

I asked hesitantly.

Satou-san, whose cheeks and nose were now red, clasped her gloved hands in front of her chest.

“Well, um, I’d like it if we could still meet like we used to…”

“Like we used to?”

“Yeah. I want us to stay close.”

“Close?”

This time, Satou-san nodded silently.

It seemed definitive.

Receiving a response like this eight months after my confession was shocking.

No, it was more than just shocking. My vision swayed. Who could remain calm when told by the person they like, “Let’s stay close”? Especially when they should know about my feelings, but still delivered such a one-sided response. The fact that she said she liked me meant that’s what it really meant.

I felt like collapsing.

But—because it’s Satou-san, she probably meant no harm. It’s not that she was trying to avoid trouble or ignore my feelings. Satou-san likely just didn’t understand my feelings.

So, was it my way of conveying them that was flawed?

I thought I had made it clear, but maybe that wasn’t the case.

“Um, Yamaguchi-kun?”

I snapped back to reality at Satou-san’s voice.

I shook my head vigorously, causing my vision to sway dramatically. Oh right, we were on swings.

She was still on the adjacent swing. It had stopped swaying.

“Um… if it’s okay, I’d like a response.”

Satou-san tilted her head, and her hair, still in a single bun, slipped from her shoulder. She was wearing a pink ribbon today. It was one I had given her.

“A response?”

My voice fell heavily.

A response to what?

“About what I just said.”

Satou-san, looking shy and fidgety, lowered her eyelashes. Her familiar gesture looked unusually cute, and the shock came back.

I liked Satou-san.

I liked her very, very much.

But,

“Do you mean staying close?”

I remembered her words. When I asked, she nodded slowly.

“Yeah.”

I remembered her words.

In fact, I remembered everything about Satou-san. The slightly irritating feeling when we first became seatmates. The strange agitation when she bandaged my finger after I injured it. The confusion when she shared sweets with me. The awkwardness when she thanked me after I helped her during class. And then—

Satou-san, who wasn’t good at studying. Satou-san, who wasn’t good at sports but liked childish games like tag. Satou-san, who often got scolded by teachers. Satou-san, who stayed behind after school. Satou-san, who was often laughed at by classmates but laughed along herself.

I liked her.

I liked her immensely and unconditionally.