{Our Make-Up School Trip (4-2)}

“You think so too, Yamaguchi-kun?”

Satou-san’s eyes widened in surprise, and she looked slightly pleased.

“I’ve been thinking the same thing. There’s so much I’d like to redo.”

If anyone was surprised, it was me. I didn’t expect Satou-san to feel the same way… though I doubt we wanted to redo the exact same things. Knowing her, she probably had a list of trivial, non-romantic things she’d want to correct, things that wouldn’t matter much to me.

It’s always best to get this kind of conversation out of the way early. I encouraged her to speak.

“What do you want to redo, Satou-san?”

“A lot. So much, really.”

She replied with a surprisingly serious tone, her hands gripping the bicycle handles tightly as if to hold back the urge to race forward.

“Do you remember, Yamaguchi-kun? The conversation we had in the park before graduation?”

“Of course. How could I forget?”

“Thank you… I told you then, right? That I had liked you for a long time but couldn’t say anything.”

Satou-san’s “long time” wasn’t really that long compared to my perspective.

But it was true that I kept her waiting. I had thought I was waiting for the right moment, hoping she would turn towards me, but in reality, I was just making her wait all that time.

“Sometimes, I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d told you earlier, if I could’ve said what I felt when I wanted to. Maybe we could’ve made more memories together in high school. If I hadn’t been so cautious around you, if I’d been able to speak openly… maybe school festivals, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day would’ve been different. After we stopped seeing each other every day, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

I was at a loss for words and couldn’t even manage a nod.

Thinking about what could have been is endless, but it’s hard not to. I have plenty of regrets and memories I wish I could redo. But I had just realized that it’s quicker to make new memories than to dwell on past mistakes.

Still, letting someone you care about regret things like that doesn’t feel right.

“But you know, with you, Yamaguchi-kun, I feel like I can redo anything, no matter how many times.”

Without knowing what I was thinking, Satou-san smiled softly.

“You’re kind, Yamaguchi-kun. I’m a bit slow at everything, but you’ve been patient with me, even redoing this school trip. If we redo other things, I think they’ll be even more fun than they were in high school.”

I glanced at her sideways.

She wasn’t particularly beautiful¹, and she had a plain, quiet demeanor. Even after becoming an adult, she didn’t wear makeup when we met. She wasn’t someone who stood out in terms of looks.

But she had a kind face.

And her personality matched that kindness.

“That’s why I don’t want to regret the past anymore. I want to redo things, one by one. Christmas, Valentine’s Day—next time, we can spend them differently. Instead of thinking, ‘I wish we’d done this,’ I want to think, ‘Let’s do this next time.’ You’ll do that with me, right, Yamaguchi-kun?”

“Of course.”

When I answered, Satou-san smiled even brighter.

“Thank you, I’m so happy. The school festival might be a bit difficult to redo… but everything else, we can redo as many times as we want.”

“There are festivals at universities too. You should come visit.”

“Really? Then I’ll definitely go.”

As I looked at her happy face, I saw the end of the cycling path approaching.

I’m not particularly kind, but Satou-san is. I often regret things I say or do, but with Satou-san, even those mistakes feel like they can be fixed. There’s no such thing as a life where you can redo everything, but with her, I feel like I can take on new challenges that look like do-overs.

After all, I once hurt Satou-san deeply, but now, we’re together like this. She’s allowing me to be by her side.

It’s because I was able to fix things.

Because I was finally able to say what I couldn’t before.

Because Satou-san waited for me.

“What’s something you’d like to redo, Yamaguchi-kun?”

When Satou-san asked, I stopped my bike.

Two seconds later, she stopped too, looking a little confused.

In the quiet afternoon, the sound of the river echoed around us. The scenery was impossibly beautiful. The water, the dappled sunlight—they all sparkled like ornaments. It felt oddly romantic, which wasn’t like me at all.

Maybe it’s just part of the charm of traveling. It makes it easier to be honest.

“Well, Satou-san, I hope you remember this. Back in the park before graduation…”

“Yeah?”

“Remember how, when I tried to kiss you, I ended up hitting your forehead?”

That’s something I’d really like to redo.

Before I could finish, Satou-san seemed to understand, and her face became incredibly flustered.

“Oh, I-I remember…”

I felt a bit relieved. It would’ve hurt if she’d forgotten, and if she’d remembered without reacting, that would’ve stung too.

“Can I redo it?”

I asked, and after about a minute, she gave me an awkward, rusted nod.

And so, over the two bicycles, I gave her the kiss I’d missed four months ago.

Even now, Satou-san couldn’t act all cute like some girls might. She squeezed her eyes shut, furrowed her brow, and her lips were pressed so tightly together that I could hardly feel their softness. Her expression looked less like she was about to be kissed and more like she was bracing herself for a ghost or something to devour her.

It made me less nervous, but I had a hard time holding back laughter.

In any case, we made plenty of memories on this “redo” school trip.

On the way back on the train, I held her hand the whole time. Even though we’d sat next to each other on the bus during the real school trip, we hadn’t touched like this at all. Being able to redo things feels like a blessing.

Satou-san’s face was unusually red, and she kept glancing at me with a shy smile. Honestly, she looked a lot cuter than she had during the kiss, but I didn’t point that out. It didn’t seem right to tease her.

Besides, I could always say, “Let’s redo it,” and that would work. Maybe after we got off the train. That kind of thing is totally acceptable between us now.

Girls like Satou-san are rare. You won’t find another like her, no matter how hard you look.

She’s plain, a bit slow, not very sharp, but incredibly kind to me. Sometimes, I think she’s too good-natured. But for someone like me, who can only be honest occasionally, she’s perfect.

I’m going to stop dwelling on regrets and start thinking, “Next time, I’ll do this.”

That way, even when we’re apart, I’ll be able to wait for her with a better feeling.

———-

1. Just a personal thought here but I am seriously fed up with the she is not beautiful! Like come on duuuuude! ↩︎