Chapter 20.1

Following the director’s instructions, the extras immediately squatted down and embraced the boy, saying, “Good boy, don’t cry…”

The boy cried loudly, his cries echoed through the sky. Another little girl, upon seeing this, also started wailing.

“It’s a trick, don’t go!” Ling Xiao turned off the microphone and said quietly to Yan Zhao.

“I know!” Yan Zhao pushed the door open. “Don’t go out. He can directly push open the cabinet and take me out.”

After filming so many variety shows, he knew the nature of the program team very well. If there was no difficulty, then they would create one for them!

Upon hearing the commotion, both children looked towards the cabinet. Their pupils dilated, and their cries became even more exaggerated.

Upon seeing Yan Zhao, the extras loudly accused, “What’s wrong with this haunted house of yours? You scared my children to tears!”

Nonsense, we are a haunted house, not a cute ghost café, right?

Yan Zhao held a round apple lamp in his hand. “How about we give you this? And stop crying.”

Ling Xiao lowered his voice, “Wait, isn’t this my lamp?!”

Yan Zhao turned around, “I bought it!”

The dimly glowing red apple was handed over, and the little boy’s face twisted into a grimace. He smacked the apple lamp away and cried, “There’s a ghost, waaah…” His crying was so intense that snot bubbles came out, and then he squatted down, picked up a bone from the ground, and threw it at Yan Zhao.

The little kid had no strength and no accuracy, so Yan Zhao leaned to the side, and the bone flew past him. He stepped back, covering his face with his hand, revealing only a pair of black eyes, “I’m a friendly ghost, please don’t hit me, okay?”

“The ghost is lying!” The little girl, scared, hid behind the adults and, like the boy, picked up a bone to throw at Yan Zhao.

Yan Zhao thought for a moment and didn’t dodge. He allowed the bone to hit him. After all, he had assessed this prop before; it was made of foam, very light, and wouldn’t hurt when hit.

Ling Xiao, however, was not happy. He emerged from the cabinet, “Hey, what are you doing? Kids shouldn’t throw things around!”

To match the fantasy castle style of the amusement park, Ling Xiao wore a red-edged black cape, looking handsome, but in the haunted house, he almost blending into the darkness.

“There’s another one!” The little girl became even more panicked, clutching onto her parent’s clothes. “He looks like a wizard!”

Upon hearing this, Ling Xiao formed claws with his hands, “If you don’t leave, the wizard will come to get you!”

The children screamed even louder, and the parents, dissatisfied, said, “You scared my child and then rushed us to leave. This is too much. How can you do business like this? I will complain about you!”

Ling Xiao was indignant, “Why are you being so unreasonable? Do you want to check the surveillance footage and see who’s more in the wrong?” Then, he turned to the camera, baring his teeth and mouthing, “You’re really boring.”

The director, mocked, said, “…Don’t listen to him, keep acting!”

The parents became agitated, “You young person, don’t you understand what it means to respect the elderly and love the young? The children are crying, how can you be so heartless!”

Yan Zhao replied, “But he is a wizard, and in the Middle Ages, he should be hanged and burned.”

Ling Xiao: “Yep~!”

Parent: “…”

Ling Xiao squats down, facing the child: “We didn’t mean to scare you on purpose, kids, can you forgive big brother, okay?”

The child picks up a bone and smashes it on his face.

Ling Xiao: “…” CNM.^[1] CNM = Cāo Nǐ Mā(操你妈) in Chinese Pinyin

A slang. Explicit. It means “fuck your mother”. Chinese people use it as “fuck“.

Ling Xiao jumps up: “Alright, negotiations have failed. Let’s handle this the adult way, let’s go to the monitoring room.” His shoulder is suddenly tapped, he turns his head: “What’s up, bro?”

Yan Zhao still covered his face, blocking his terrifying makeup. He had experienced the malicious editing by the program team before. Getting angry or brushing it off was not an option. They could give you a hundred reasons for sunspot^[2]黑點(hēidiǎn) = black spots (sunspot), in this context the meaning is a metaphor of fault or refer to shameful things. Right now, the most important thing was to comfort the children.

Yan Zhao said: “If you want to smash something, smash me, but only this little princess is allowed to do it.”

The little boy widened his eyes: “Why her!”

Yan Zhao said: “Because I have a sister, named Ah Mei, who looks as cute as her.”

Ling Xiao silently glanced at the pink skull, with a delicate red flower pinned on top.

Yan Zhao started making up stories: “I promised Ah Mei to pick the most beautiful flower as a gift on her wedding day. I got the flower but broke my promise. If you hit me, it’s like she’s hitting me, and it’ll make me feel a bit better.”

Background actor whispers: “Director?”

Director: “Let him continue talking; I want to see what he can come up with!”

Little girl asks: “Why are you afraid to show yourself?”

Yan Zhao says: “You’ve seen my current appearance. During the search for the flower, a wizard cursed me, turning me into this ghostly figure. Afraid of frightening her, I kept hiding and secretly sought a way to lift the curse. But when I found it, my sister had already passed away…”

The little girl, still in the age of loving fairy tales, expects happy endings. She can’t help but ask: “What happens next?”

“Next, I stayed here,” Yan Zhao smiles, “Unable to accompany her in life, at least I can protect her in death. I apologize for scaring you earlier; I was afraid of startling you too, my little princess.”

Yan Zhao’s voice was pleasant, intentionally soft at that moment, appearing gentle. The little girl, unable to see his ghostly face, was less scared than before. She shook her head and apologized softly: “I shouldn’t have hit you just now.”

Yan Zhao smiles: “No, blame that wicked wizard who gave me this frightening face.”

Both the girl and boy glare at Ling Xiao: “You’re a bad person!”

“…Yeah, I’m really bad. Actually, all the ghosts in this haunted house are people cursed by me!” Ling Xiao’s eyes shift, “Your actions just now angered me. Should I turn you into ghosts too?”

The children panicked: “No, please don’t!”

Yan Zhao grabs Ling Xiao’s hand and pretends to fight with him: “Run!”

The children immediately rush forward, looking back while running: “Ghost, go for it!”

“Wait!” Yan Zhao shouted, covering his terrifying mouth with one hand and snatching the basket from Ling Xiao’s hand with the other. “Here are fairy-blessed apple lamps that can protect you. Originally priced at 618, I’ll give you a special offer 10% discount, now only 60 yuan!”

Director: “Absolutely not allowed to buy!!!”

After sending away the mischievous kids, Yan Zhao sighs, disregarding his image, sitting cross-legged on the ground, supporting his face: “Being a ghost is truly tough.”

Ling Xiao counted the apple lamps in the basket: “I’m still 23 short of qualifying.”

Yan Zhao: “I’m still 8 short. Ah, we should have surrounded the adults earlier, made them shed tears first.”

Director: “Are you all devils?!”

The ghost and the wizard join forces, causing chaos in the haunted house. Both quickly complete their mission.

The director roars: “Those people were fake crying, doesn’t count!”

Yan Zhao looked at the mission note: “ ‘Make 30 visitors cry on the spot’. It didn’t say it couldn’t be fake tears. My mission is done. Blame your copywriter for being a bit misleading.”

Copywriter: …