Chapter 24: Lu Yunxiao Is Coming Back

Every three days, Yu Jingjing had to do acupuncture for Lu Jie. This time, before she even arrived, Lu Yunyang had already hidden himself away. Several times he tried to go out to talk to Yu Jingjing, but his body wouldn’t obey him, so he could only curl up alone in the kitchen.

The next day, when the four members of the Lu family went to work, they saw Yu Jingjing with her back to them, pulling weeds in the flower garden.

Lu Yunyang immediately realized his chance had come and grabbed Lu Laotai (Grandma Lu). “Grandma, Grandma, I want to help Yu Zhiqing pull weeds, let’s act quickly.”

“Alright.”

Lu Yunduo and Lu Jie stepped back, and Lu Laotai stretched out her old hand’s thumb and pressed her decade-old uncut fingernail accurately against her grandson’s philtrum, pinching down hard.

Lu Yunyang felt a sharp pain, his whole body trembled, and he suddenly felt much more awake.

His grandma really was amazing.

They walked together toward the flower garden, but Lu Yunyang’s steps grew unsteady. After a few steps, he looked like a mix between someone with cerebral palsy and breakdancing. Luckily, Grandma Lu was holding him or else he might have thrown himself out.

Yu Jingjing heard a noise behind her and turned around.

“Grandma Lu, who is this? You guys…”

Before she could finish, Lu Yunyang suddenly shouted loudly, pushed Grandma Lu’s hand away, and ran off.

Grandma Lu was confused—why didn’t he faint, but instead ran away?

Worried Lu Yunyang might collapse again, she hurried after him: “It’s nothing, Yu Zhiqing, you keep working, I’m leaving.”

In a panic, she ran out of the flower garden.

She caught up to Lu Yunyang, who had fled two li away, and asked: “What’s wrong with you, boy? You finally didn’t faint this time, so why did you run again?”

“Grandma, if I don’t run, you’ll pinch me to death. Look here.” He pointed at his philtrum.

Grandma Lu saw a deep red mark there, with the wound still bleeding.

She had seen Yu Jingjing turn back earlier and was afraid Lu Yunyang would faint and ruin everything again, so she had used all her strength. But it turned out she pinched too hard.

“Alright, alright. If I didn’t pinch so hard, you’d definitely faint again. Listen to your grandma’s advice—you’re really not meant to be with Yu Zhiqing.”

“I don’t believe it. My fate is mine to decide. Whether we’re meant to be or not, I’ll be the one to say.”

…

Lu Yunyang came home carrying an envelope. “Dad, Mom, Grandma, second brother sent a letter.”

Hearing that their second grandson sent a reply, Grandma Lu quickly came out.

“Open it quickly and read it, what does the letter say?”

Lu Yunyang opened the letter and read aloud because the older generation of the family had an illiteracy rate as high as 89%. His grandma and mom were completely illiterate; his dad was semi-literate. By reading the letter, everyone could understand its content.

The letter said Lu Yunxiao would be coming back soon. This time he wanted to visit Lu Jie and Grandma Lu, and also stop by to see the rest of the family.

The whole family was pleasantly surprised upon hearing this.

“Yunxiao is coming back! That kid still remembers to visit home.”

“Grandma, didn’t you say you want him to bring his boyfriend home? You have to tell him quickly.”

“Yes, yes, call him and tell him. I’ll talk to him nicely so he won’t feel any burden. Ugly daughters-in-law… or rather, sons-in-law, have to meet their in-laws sooner or later. I’ll go talk to him tomorrow.”

The next day, since it wasn’t the time for the village ox cart to head to the county, Grandma Lu decided to ride the ox herself, which was faster than the cart.

When she arrived at the post office, she got off the ox and hurried inside.

The ox mooed behind her: You didn’t tie me up yet.

Grandma Lu turned back and tied the ox to a big tree in front of the post office. Losing the ox would be a big problem.

“Ox, thank you for reminding me. I’ll ride you more times later.”

This ox liked being ridden by her. Whenever she mounted it, it would be very happy and run very fast.

Inside the post office, Grandma Lu quickly dialed the number for Lu Yunxiao’s military district.

The first time the call connected, the person on the other end said they had to pass the message to Lu Yunxiao and asked him to come to the communications room to call back.

When the phone rang again, Grandma Lu picked it up. “Hello!”

On the other end was Lu Yunxiao’s voice: “Hello, Grandma, is that you?”

“Yes, yes, it’s Grandma, dear. Grandma misses you. Alright, no small talk. Grandma knows you’re coming back. I want to tell you something, something…”

Thinking about her grandson having no descendants to support him in the future, Grandma Lu felt uneasy again.

“Grandma, what do you want to tell me? I’m warning you, when I get home, don’t make me go on blind dates, or I won’t come back.”

“It’s not about blind dates. Even if you don’t say it, I already know about it. I’ve talked to your mom. We both know. No blind dates for you.”

“What is it? What are you talking about?” Lu Yunxiao was confused.

Was it about him?

Why did his family all know, but he didn’t?

“Well, well…” She took a deep breath and calmly said, “Yunxiao, just be honest with Grandma. Who is this male companion exactly? Tell us. Whoever it is, as long as you choose him, we will accept. We definitely won’t stop you.”

Lu Yunxiao was still completely confused.
“Grandma, what are you talking about? What ‘male partner’? I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Yunxiao, there’s nothing shameful about it. Your mom and I aren’t old-fashioned. We can accept a male partner. Next time you come home, just bring him along.”

“Male partner? Me?!”

“Yes, it’s just that you’re too shy to say it yourself, so you want Grandma to guess.”

Lu Yunxiao was utterly speechless.
He ran his hand through his short cropped hair, wondering what he had done to make the whole family misunderstand him like this.

“Grandma, you guessed wrong. There’s no male partner or anything like that. How could that be possible?”

“Ah, see, you still won’t admit it. We already told you we don’t care, but you act like we’re lying. How could Grandma lie to you?”

“Grandma, it’s not about whether you lie or not — I really don’t have one.”

“Really don’t?”

“Of course not.”

Lu Laotai (Grandma Lu) wasn’t sure whether to feel happy or worried. Her grandson didn’t even have two companions.

“Grandma, in just a few days, I’ll be coming home. I’ll bring gifts for all of you. Grandma, what do you want?”

Grandma was still very pleased:
“Grandma doesn’t want much, whatever you buy, Grandma will like it.”

“All right, Grandma. Anything else?”

“No, no, hang up now.”

Grandma Lu left the post office and smoothed her neatly combed hair. She was back to being a normal grandma again.

When Lu Yunxiao asked for leave from his superiors, the regiment commander and political commissar both stopped him for a round of encouragement and criticism.
They encouraged him to quickly find a wife and criticized why he still hadn’t found one.

“Yunxiao, work is work, life is life. You have to take good care of both. Having a good life means you can work well. With your conditions, what kind of female partner can’t you find? But you just won’t look and keep staying single. Even your military leaders are worried about you. This time you must find a good partner quickly.”

Lu Yunxiao’s head hurt. His family wanted him to find a wife, and even the leaders wouldn’t let up.

Was it mandatory to find a female partner just because he was born human?
Finding a partner was only for mating and continuing the family line, but he wasn’t that low.

Not having a wife wouldn’t kill him; instead, he could live more freely.

“Leader, without a wife, I can focus better on work. How about this: you treat my work as my wife, so you won’t worry about me being single.”

He patted the pistol on his waist: “See, this is my wife.” Then he touched the medal on his chest: “This is also my wife. And this uniform— they accompany me every day; they’re my wives. I have many wives, so don’t worry about me.”

The commander and commissar both laughed.

“Well, by that logic, even your underwear is your wife, huh?”

Lu Yunxiao chuckled.

The leaders waved their hands: “Alright, it’s your business. We can’t force you. You decide.”

Grandma Lu rode the ox back from the county town and saw Yu Jingjing squatting next to the grass, looking down at something.

Not wanting to disturb her, Grandma Lu stopped for a moment.

Seconds later, a clear and loud voice came from there:
“Wǒ cǎo~” (an exclamation roughly like “Damn!”)

“What does ‘Wǒ cǎo~’ mean?”

Grandma Lu had never heard this phrase before and was curious, so she slowly rode the ox over.

Yu Jingjing seemed to say something else, but Grandma Lu didn’t hear clearly, just caught “Wǒ cǎo~” loudly and energetically, really forcefully.

Yu Jingjing noticed someone coming, looked up, and saw Grandma Lu riding the ox.

“Grandma Lu, where have you been riding that ox?”

“I went to the county town to call my second grandson. Hehe, he’s coming home soon. I told him something.” She jumped down from the ox while talking.

Yu Jingjing thought that since Lu Yunxiao was coming back soon, she would have the chance to ask him for that handkerchief.

Grandma Lu walked beside Yu Jingjing and saw that she was holding a king cobra, pinching it at the seventh segment of the snake’s body.

“Yu Zhiqing, aren’t you afraid of that thing?”

“I’m not afraid. As long as you deal with it correctly, there’s nothing to fear.”

Seeing the king cobra made her want to make an anti-venom serum from it, but unfortunately, making the serum also needed a horse, and her space box didn’t have one.

She decided to keep the snake in her space box for now and think about it later.

She stood up and said, “Grandma, I’ll take this snake home to make snake soup.”

Grandma Lu called her back, “Girl, I want to ask you, what does that ‘Wǒ cǎo~’ you just said mean?”

“Ah, Grandma, you heard that?” Feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Well, I think it’s quite funny. It’s the first time I heard this phrase, quite new to me.”