Chapter 5

Time always flies when you’re in bed.

Ruan Xizhi slept soundly until 9 a.m., waking up feeling more refreshed than ever. It had been a long time since she’d had such a comfortable sleep.

After freshening up, she headed downstairs for breakfast but didn’t see Xing Xiaochi.

She asked the butler, “Where’s Xiaochi?”

Butler Chen answered truthfully, “He’s still sleeping.”

Based on the young master’s usual sleeping habits, he probably wouldn’t wake up until noon. And he absolutely must not be disturbed—otherwise, the consequences would be unimaginable.

Ruan Xizhi raised an eyebrow. This little guy sure knew how to enjoy life.

She checked the time—only thirty minutes left before the program crew arrived.

Even though she had adopted a laid-back attitude lately, the ingrained sense of punctuality in her body wouldn’t allow her to be late.

“I’ll go wake him up,” Ruan Xizhi said as she stood up. “Please pack his luggage for him.”

Hearing this, Butler Chen quickly tried to stop her. “Young Madam, maybe you should inform the program crew that you’ll be a little late. The young master… he can’t be disturbed when he’s sleeping.”

Ruan Xizhi looked at the butler’s uneasy expression and guessed, “What, does he have a really bad case of morning grumpiness?”

Bad? That was an understatement!

It was… well, let’s just say it brought tears to their eyes.

Butler Chen sighed and advised, “You should let him sleep a little longer.”

Why should everyone have to wait for one kid?

Every adult was once a child too.

“Don’t worry about it. Just pack his things,” Ruan Xizhi said as she headed upstairs.

Butler Chen watched her thin figure disappear and felt deeply concerned.

Meanwhile, the live stream audience was having the time of their lives.

[Comment Section]
【The Butler looks terrified—this little tyrant must have legendary morning grumpiness.】
【Morning grumpiness in kids isn’t scary—it’s the King of Hell! I’ve had enough of my little devil. Every day, I just want to shove him back into my belly and start over!】
【That’s not morning grumpiness—that’s aura of a tyrant!】
【Hearing this makes me reconsider having kids…】
【So Xing Xiaochi is the type to throw the world into chaos when he wakes up?】

Forget just flipping the sky—he’d flip the whole world if he wanted to.

Xing Xiaochi’s room was on the second floor. When Ruan Xizhi opened the door, the room was pitch dark.

She took out her phone to use as a flashlight and saw the tiny Xing Xiaochi sprawled out like a starfish on a bed big enough to fit eight people. The floor on both sides of the bed was covered with sponges and toys—probably to prevent him from falling off.

Ruan Xizhi stepped closer. Xing Xiaochi was fast asleep, completely still. His little face was flushed, and his long eyelashes were thick and dark. His delicate features clearly reflected good genetics—he was bound to be a heartbreaker when he grew up.

She observed him for a moment and then sighed, “He’s only cute when he’s asleep.”

As soon as she finished speaking, she ruthlessly yanked off his blanket, pulled open the curtains, and even opened the windows. Sunlight streamed in, and a cool morning breeze filled the room.

Then, without hesitation, she played the children’s version of “Happy Wake-Up Song” on her phone.

🎵 “Wake up, wake up, wake up now!”
🎵 “Little one, you slept so well, time to get up right now!”
🎵 “Don’t be a lazy bug, lazy bugs get fat and round!”

Xing Xiaochi lay on the bed, blinking his thick eyelashes in a daze. His unfocused eyes showed that he was still caught between dreams and reality.

[Comment Section]
【HAHAHAHA OMG, Ruan Xizhi, you’re a genius!】
【Look at the kid—he’s traumatized 😂】
【Pffft! Xing Xiaochi be like: “I thank you… NOT.”】
【Why not just let the kid sleep in? Step-mom vibes here.】
【This is too much. Isn’t this basically child abuse?】

Seeing these ridiculous comments, yesterday’s newly formed Team Ruan Fans fought back with sarcasm.

【Oh yeah, let’s let him sleep in and make an entire production crew wait for one kid. Great parenting. No wonder your mouth smells like trash.】
【Waking up a child is abuse now? Then make sure your kid sleeps for eternity, or else I’m calling the police on you for “child abuse”! 🤡】

Xing Xiaochi stayed frozen for a whole minute. Then, like a little fool, he rubbed his eyes and saw Ruan Xizhi standing by the bed.

She tossed his clothes onto the bed. “Get up. The sun is already shining on your butt.”

Xing Xiaochi stared at her for a few seconds—then, out of nowhere, burst into loud wails, grabbed a pillow, and started throwing it at her.

“GET OUT, YOU EVIL WOMAN! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU! I WANNA SLEEP! WAAAAHHH! I WANT GRANDMA! I WANT GRANDMAAA!”

His morning grumpiness erupted in full force.

Tears streamed down his little face as he threw pillows, then toys. His legs kicked at the bed nonstop.

Ruan Xizhi: “…” This little brat.

But why should she just stand there and take it?

He could cry? So could she!

Let’s see who was louder.

Ruan Xizhi clutched her head and dramatically collapsed onto the bed. “Owwww! That hurt so bad!”

Xing Xiaochi had actually hit her with a toy, and even though it was plush, it still stung.

She rolled around on the bed, mimicking his tantrum. “You hit me! WAAAHHH! I’m gonna tell your grandma! Your dad! Your grandpa! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!”

“…”

Her wailing was even louder than his. Xing Xiaochi was completely stunned, his crying turning into little hiccups.

For the first time in his life, he had encountered an adult who cried louder than him. His round eyes blinked in confusion.

“You’re a bad kid,” Ruan Xizhi sniffled, giving him a taste of his own medicine. “I don’t want to see you either.”

Xing Xiaochi had always been spoiled. This was the first time someone had called him a bad kid. He suddenly felt a little panicked.

He hesitated before reaching out to comfort her. “Don’t tell Daddy, okay? I’m not a bad kid… I’ll put medicine on you, okay? It won’t hurt anymore…”

Seeing that he had taken the bait, Ruan Xizhi upped the act. “No way! I woke you up, and you hit me! You didn’t even apologize! I’m definitely telling your dad.”

Xing Xiaochi, seeing her so “heartbroken,” scooted closer and gently patted her back, using his soft baby voice to coax, “I’m sorry… I really didn’t mean it. Please don’t tell Daddy, okay? I won’t call you a bad woman anymore… and I’m not a bad kid.”

Ruan Xizhi peeked at his sincere little face and asked suspiciously, “Really?”

“Really, really!” Xing Xiaochi nodded vigorously.

Seizing the moment, she continued, “So next time I wake you up, will you still throw things at me?”

Xing Xiaochi quickly shook his head. “Nope! Never again!”

“And you won’t cry?”

“Nope! Big boys don’t cry!”

“Alright then.” Ruan Xizhi pretended to rub her forehead, sighing. “I won’t tell your dad this time.”

Xing Xiaochi beamed, hugging her arm. “Auntie, you’re the best!”

For the first time, he willingly got out of bed and held her hand. “Auntie, let’s go eat breakfast.”

The livestream chat exploded.

【She completely outplayed him! Ruan Xizhi, you’re a genius!】

【Taking notes! This reverse psychology is legendary.】

【I came for the cute baby but ended up laughing to tears. Ruan Xizhi, you should be a comedian!】

【Mom of the year award goes to Ruan Xizhi!】

On the day of the official livestream launch, four groups were broadcasting simultaneously, but only Ruan Xizhi’s stream kept gaining traction. Her trending topics were getting more eye-catching by the second.

#RuanXizhi’s “Happy Wake-Up Song”#

#High-energy! Ruan Xizhi’s Reverse Babysitting#

The most viral clip was still the moment Ruan Xizhi clutched her head and sobbed. The video racked up thousands of shares in minutes, and the comment section was filled with nothing but “HAHAHAHA.”