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Modeleine’s eyes trembled wildly as he stared into Garuel’s face. The man’s face in his eyes was still grotesque, but Modeleine was becoming increasingly certain.
“You’re…… Commander, right?”
An eager voice continued to try to confirm the fact, and Cadel, who had caught up with Modeleine late, looked back and forth between him and Garuel with a despairing expression.
Held by Van and Lumen, Modeleine wondered if he had seen things in vain, but as soon as they let him go, he turned and ran after Garuel.
And before they had a chance to react, Modeleine had caught up to him. Cadel gasped for air and covered his mouth. It felt like the blood was being drained from his body.
Van and Lumen, who had followed, hurried to pull Modeleine away, but Garuel stopped them.
“……I’ll take care of it.”
At the sound of a familiar voice, Modeleine let go of his grip on Garuel’s shoulder. There was even fear in the gaze directed at Garuel.
Garuel, on the other hand, spoke in a calm tone, as if he had regained some measure of composure. His gaze was on Cadel, not Modeleine.
“I’m sorry, Sir Cadel. Let me solve this problem myself…….”
“Let’s go together.”
“However—”
“Don’t make me any more angry than this, just listen to me.”
Cadel’s cold demeanor made it impossible for Garuel to remain stubborn. In the midst of all this chaos, Modeleine sensed an unnerving tension between Garuel and Cadel. Instinctively sensing that Cadel was involved in Garuel’s death, he turned to look, but Cadel averted his gaze.
‘Now that things have come to this, we have no choice but to have a three-way meeting.’
Garuel’s identity had been discovered by the last person who should know. But that didn’t mean they could abandon their plan. Cadel turned to Van and Lumen, finally pulling himself together.
“Find Lydon.”
* * *
The illusion spells on Modeleine and the Scarlet Scales Knight Order had been lifted. The man before them was no longer the strange, shifting stranger. He should have died and should have been pretending to be dead. It was Garuel Monzasi.
“Cadel, are you angry……?”
“That’s right.”
“……I’m sorry.”
Lydon, who had released everyone’s illusions, crept to Cadel’s side. Lydon glanced over and tried to embrace Cadel, but Cadel’s hand shoved him away. Lydon lowered his eyes in frustration as he realized that for the first time, Cadel was looking at him as if he were fed up.
“I was wrong, Cadel. Don’t be angry.”
“Get out.”
“Cadel…….”
“Van, Lumen. Take Lydon outside. I’ll find him when I’m done.”
Cadel ignored Lydon’s pleading gaze and hesitant steps. He was angry at Lydon and Garuel’s irresponsibility. This was a plan to deceive and hurt everyone. Shouldn’t they at least show some respect for those who would be hurt? They should have shown at least some sincerity.
Their insensitivity had hurt the person they had deceived twice. That fact angered Cadel more than anything else.
“Now, please explain. How did the dead commander come back to life? How does Sir Cadel know all this?”
Only Cadel, Garuel, and Modeleine remained in the hastily secured room at the inn. Without taking his eyes off Garuel, Modeleine tried to ask questions as calmly as possible. What the hell was going on here, was he right to be angry, was there some kind of misunderstanding? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions without being sure.
Cadel answered first.
“I’ll tell you the truth. Sir Garuel was never dead to begin with. The body you saw was an illusion, created by Lydon’s illusion technique. ……It was a command from me.”
Modeleine blinked frantically. He tried to take in the information he was hearing as objectively as possible, and the more he did, the more he felt his reason slipping away. Barely controlling his emotions, he stammered.
“Why…… Why did you do that?”
“That…….”
To recruit Garuel, whose healing powers would allow his subordinates to fight in a safer environment.
It was a selfish, private desire, and Cadel couldn’t bring himself to say it. He was replaced by Garuel.
“Because I didn’t want to stay in the Twilight Knight Order any longer. I asked Sir Cadel for a favor.”
“You didn’t want to stay……?”
“Didn’t I say it every day until you got sick of it? That I would hand over the position of commander to you. I’m disappointed if you were just passing it off as a joke.”
Cadel’s demeanor was filled with guilt toward Modeleine, but Garuel did not seem to feel the same way. Rather, he seemed bothered by the situation and impatient to get it over with, which shocked Cadel to no end.
The Garuel he knew, at least so far, was a man who would die to avoid betraying the faith of his subordinates. There was no reason for him to behave this way.
“It’s Commander’s Knight Order, which Commander has been leading for a very long time.…….”
“Yes, you’re right, the Twilight Knight Order is my knight order, the one I’ve been leading for a very long time. It’s a burden I’ve carried for a very long time.”
Laughing hysterically, Garuel tilted the cask he’d taken a swig from and poured the contents onto the floor, the strong liquor soaking the wooden floor and sending drops of alcohol flying up to Modeleine’s shoes.
“I’m tired of it, Modeleine. I’m tired of the expectations the entire Kingdom places on the Twilight Knight Order, the pressure to win every battle. I’m tired of it all. I don’t understand why I have to bear it alone, and I don’t want to anymore.”
“It’s okay if you don’t bear it alone. Our members were always ready to share Commander’s burden.”
“No. You guys weren’t ready or willing to do that.”
When the contents were gone, Garuel nervously tossed the cask away and stared at Modeleine, who was as still as a stone.
“Hey, Modeleine. Do you know who contributed most to the weight that weighed me down? It’s you guys. Even at a crossroads, you couldn’t choose right or left, so you relied on me. You followed my orders more faithfully than anyone else, but you also waited with your head bent for my commands.”
“That’s not true. We are here for you—”
“Those who fight for God must shine even on the battlefield. For all eyes are on them, whether they have God’s favor or not. I was conscious of every battlefield, and I had to rack my brains to give you guys, who were waiting like babies, biting your fingers, the ultimate victory. ……Right. A good commander should endure it. Maybe you’ll find some fun there.”
A strong odor of alcohol wafted from the darkening wood floors. Whether it was the smell of alcohol or the awkwardness of the situation. Cadel was becoming increasingly lost.
Garuel’s anger can’t be sincere. He was expressing his emotions even more strongly than Modeleine who had been betrayed.
“But I’m not. I’m not a good commander. So I start to resent everything.”
“Commander is a better person than anyone else.”
“Maybe to you, because that’s how you’ve been acting. But can you say the same now? A faithful cleric doesn’t drink. He doesn’t spend nights with women, he doesn’t kiss men. You’ve watched me do all of those things, and yet you call me a good commander only because you don’t want to carry the same burdens as I do. You want me to stay in this position long enough to see it through to the end, even if I’m completely broken and shattered.”
His words were an insult to Modeleine’s loyalty. Cadel pursed his lips, studying Modeleine’s flushed complexion.
He didn’t have to push it this far. Modeleine was a man who did not get carried away when he realized that Garuel was alive. If Garuel had calmly explained what had happened, if Garuel had somehow begged for forgiveness. Modeleine might have been willing to accept it all.
“Sir Garuel. Please stop.”
He took a step closer to Garuel, thinking that he had to stop his solo play, but Garuel blocked Cadel’s approach and stabbed Modeleine once more.
“I’m sick of it. The Knight Order, the Kingdom, and the people. I don’t want to protect you anymore. So I asked Sir Cadel to get me out of this suffocating coffin. I clung to him very pathetically. I could have done anything as long as I could cut off ties with you.”
“…….”
“So you give it up, too. Please let me have my funeral, Modeleine. I can only escape by dying. Please let your poor commander go.”
Modeleine could not utter a single word. He was in such a state of shock that he could barely breathe, like someone who was about to pass out. Garuel stared at him, and then spoke quietly.
“If you have any loyalty left to me, erase me from your memory. This is my last command.”
He didn’t hear an answer. After speaking as if making a declaration, Garuel left the room. Cadel looked back and forth between the dead-looking Modeleine and the wide open door.
It happened so quickly. Cadel couldn’t even properly stop Garuel’s actions of pushing Modeleine away.
“……Sir Modeleine.”
At Cadel’s call, Modeleine did not move. His clenched fists shook, and his unblinking eyes grew red and bloodshot.
He wanted to comfort him, but he knew that his comfort would only amount to ridicule. Finally, Cadel hesitantly left the room. Carefully closing the door behind him, he turned his head with a low sigh. No one else was in sight in the narrow hallway.
“Where did he go again?”
He couldn’t understand Garuel’s solution at all, but now was the time to go find him. Cadel took heavy steps and began to follow his tracks.
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tbh honest if I was in Modeleine’s place and even after I know what exactly happened and why , I don’t really think I’ll forgive Garuel.
…….Garuel you are not acting very pookie right now
hmmmmmm…..I’ll take the wait and see approach……maybe garuel said some true words there ….you never know
my heart hurts for lydon but he needs some tough love!
This is honestly a very weird way to clear things up. I get it, no one’s perfect everyone make mistakes, but I am genuinely curious as to why Modeleine deserved to be told off like that. Literally what is this resolution, author-nim? This chapter shocked me, didn’t expect something like this in the novel. Anyways, despite this, I hope this is resolved properly, because if not, what the heck is Garuel thinking?????
this is.. this is very painful. what a mess
🤧
Poor Modeleine.. Why did you do that Garuel? TvT I know you want to leave and not leave anything behind but there are other options huhu
Thank you so much for the updates!!~ 🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻
dayum that was cold Garuel. Modeleine did not deserve that