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After informing Van and Lumen that the matter was resolved, Cadel decided to take some time to himself. He needed time to collect his thoughts without interruption.
His destination was the beach adjacent to the harbor. As he sat on the sand and stared out into the night, his mind seemed to drift. Too many events had occurred in such a short period of time, and he felt like he was having a bad dream.
‘……It must have been inevitable, right?’
When you ask yourself the question, you don’t get an answer. It always did. The unanswered questions always left a dark mark on Cadel’s mind.
While meeting with his comrades towards the end of the story, their lives changed significantly due to the choices made by Cadel.
Van, who despised the nobility, was forced to work among them, and Lumen, who dreamed of taking revenge on his family, renounced his position in the family. Lydon, who should have inherited the throne of the Fairy King, fought on the side of the humans who had persecuted the fairies in the past, and Garuel, who died to protect those he loved, lived to see them hurt.
Unfortunately, Cadel could not accept all the changes positively. Nevertheless, he could not, even mistakenly, conclude that they would be happy because they had him.
That his existence would be a terrible misfortune for them. Cadel feared that.
He already cared for them. There was guilt in Cadel’s feelings for his subordinates, but there was also affection. He liked them, and there was nothing in this world more important than them.
Even more so, Cadel was at a loss.
‘I have to go back. To my original world.’
He had to move forward with his original goal. Even as he had made up his mind, he kept thinking about his comrades who would remain in this world.
What happened to the world when he had gone? Would it ever be at peace? If the original Cadel Lytos returned, would he remember the memories with the remaining subordinates? If the original Cadel Lytos forgot them all and only remembered his first meeting with Van, there would be nothing worse than that.
Leaving this world meant that Cadel would be relieved of the responsibility of bringing his subordinates into the story. He would leave all responsibility here, and return to his own life. Back to where he belonged, alone, after changing their lives as he pleased.
‘……It’s once again the worst.’
He wanted to be at ease. If only he could see them as characters in a game. If only he hadn’t given them his heart, and they hadn’t given him theirs. If only he hadn’t been forced to fight, and if only he hadn’t been forced to live this life.
If he was going to be selfish, he wanted to be endlessly selfish. He didn’t want to be this obscure piece of garbage.
“Haa…….”
The problem was that Cadel had gotten too attached. He didn’t expect to feel this hesitant, but maybe it was better to keep his distance now, maybe it was better that way.
Lamenting, Cadel lay down on the sand and rubbed his face in annoyance. Suddenly, he noticed the Ring of Fate he hadn’t yet removed. The red thread that led to it was calm.
‘He seemed pretty shocked.’
Cadel remembered Lydon’s face from the alleyway. Normally, Lydon would have used his face as a weapon to deflect the situation. This time, he was uncharacteristically looking at Cadel and begging for forgiveness but Cadel ignored and rejected his courage. He might have been hurt.
‘I don’t know what made me so angry.’
Now that his head had cooled down a bit, he realized that he had been too crude in his response. Cadel had taken that precious Prince and made him suffer, and he would continue to make him suffer. When Cadel thought about it, it was nothing to be angry about for that long.
Cadel laughed helplessly and gently turned the ring. He felt sorry when he thought of Lydon, who must have been depressed at the end of this thread.
And then, out of nowhere, an outstretched hand grabbed Cadel’s wrist. Startled, Cadel reflexively jerked upward, revealing the face of his opponent. It was the person who had been occupying his mind.
“Lydon……?”
“Don’t take the ring off.”
The unannounced appearance alone was startling enough. Cadel could not hide his embarrassment as Lydon’s face was distorted and sad, as if he was about to burst into tears.
“Are…… Are you crying”
“Don’t take it off, Cadel. Don’t abandon me. I was wrong, I’m sorry.”
He hadn’t meant to take the ring off in the first place, he was just twirling it around. Cadel blinked in confusion as he surveyed the condition of Lydon kneeling before him.
Transparent tears were hanging from the corners of his eyes, which were brightly curved every time. Even though Cadel tried to wipe away his tears, Lydon wouldn’t let go of his wrist.
“I won’t do that again. I’ll listen to Cadel. Okay?”
“It’s not…….”
How long had Lydon been following him, what had he been thinking, and how could he have gotten the wrong idea about Cadel touching the ring? Cadel was dumbfounded, but he couldn’t just sit there and be baffled. Lydon’s tears streaming down his face made him look like an abandoned child. Cadel couldn’t believe he was feeling this way about a man who was over 190cm.
“You come out of nowhere and say who’s abandoning who? When did I say I’m abandoning you? I said we’d talk about it later because I was angry. Where the hell did you come from?”
“You told me to get out. You said you didn’t want to hear anything I said.”
Cadel had never seen such a large man cry so desperately before. If it weren’t for his adorable appearance, Cadel might have thought Lydon was an ugly crier.
Lydon’s voice was raspy and muffled from crying.
“You acted like you never wanted to see me again.”
“That’s just because I’m angry—”
“I can’t live without Cadel, but Cadel can live without me. You can abandon me, Cadel.”
“……What?”
“Don’t throw me away. You can’t leave me behind. I’m sorry…….”
Lydon lowered his head and sobbed. With his eyes fixed on Lydon’s curly blonde hair, Cadel was completely speechless.
It was unlikely that Lydon knew what was troubling him. Cadel had never spoken of it, and he had never heard of fairies being able to read minds, so Lydon must just be saying what he felt. Nevertheless, Cadel felt dazed, as if he’d been hit over the head with sorrowful sincerity.
He suddenly became short of breath. His heart pounded, and a nameless emotion surged through him. Something heavy, almost impulsive, pounded in his chest. It was as if the threads that controlled Cadel’s body had snapped.
With a vicious twist of his gripped wrist, Cadel yanked it free and hugged the crouching Lydon tightly. There was a stirring of emotions that he couldn’t bear to let go of.
“No. Who said that? Who said I’m abandoning you.”
“I told you I can’t do anything without Cadel…….”
“I won’t throw you away. I won’t leave you behind. How can I…….”
He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t keep his distance, and he couldn’t let go of his affection. The damage was done.
Cadel bit his lip as if he was holding back the excruciating pain.
“It’s okay, Lydon. I won’t leave you. I won’t abandon you. I’ll always be here for you…… So don’t cry.”
As he clutched desperately at the large man in his arms, he realized there was no turning back now. He was the same as Lydon. He couldn’t be without them. He didn’t want to go back to a life without them anymore. He’d been in denial all this time, but in the end.
He wanted to be with them in this endless world.
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It takes two to tango. Cadel made his choices and his knights made their choices. It isn’t “all Cadel’s fault”! That’s too big a burden for anyone to carry.
this chap is not good for my heart (sob) ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
ugly crying at 1AM.. Everything hurts huhu
Thank you so much for the updates~
Holy shit I could CRY. Cadel, honey 😭 I wish we knew why he was so determined to stay. we only hear bits about his siblings and that’s it. I’m so happy he’s being honest oh my god.
I want to know why Jenga Lytos was killed though. he tried to kill the emperor’s uncle? why? he was only loyal to his family that lived in that kingdom. What happened to his family that Jenga attempted regicide? Cause I think Cadel might when pushed too lol
poor lydon. it’s so nice to see him finally be affected. compared to his apathy the first time Cadel nearly died. now he’s crying cause he thinks Cadel is gonna take off a ring. what a sweetie
AAA FINALLY THEY ADDRESSED THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!! and Cadel came to that conclusion quite neatly tbh! alot has happened so it doesn’t feel too sudden, it doesn’t feel too late either! great pacing, I love it sm!
And also my baby Lydon acting so small and vulnerable here, I wanna hug him too but he’d probably freeze me to death since I’m not Cadel. anyway, all is great! I wonder how the last recruit will fit in?
i want this drawn + animated + voiced. i want to hear and see lydon’s desperation. also, thank god the author gave us a concrete answer for this dilemma because this always have been my peeve in isekai stories
this was a pivotal point for Cadel wasn’t it. there’s going to be more turmoil but I’m glad the author neatly got us over this cliff. gosh I love the author’s pacing