It was late at night. Cadel searched for the carriage, but the coachman who would take them to the swamp was nowhere to be seen. It was too far to walk. He drew a traveling magic circle in the unlit alley. His hands shook as he channeled the mana, and his face was white enough to stand out in the darkness.

Van could only watch it all unfold. Cadel was desperate as if his life depended on it. His earlier calmness was gone, and he looked strained, almost choking with fear.

“Come here.”

Cadel, completing the magic circle, gestured. Van stared at him wordlessly, then took a slow step forward. A blinding light blinded him as the circle was activated.

“If you go over there, you will see him. He was around there.”

They arrived in the center of the swamp. It was near the seal circle. Cadel lit a fireball to light the way. He hadn’t worn his magic boots, so his pants quickly became damp. It was the same even if he walked to avoid the swamp.

Despite his reduced mobility, Cadel pushed on. He stepped on the edge of the swamp, slipped, and nearly fell several times. Each time, Van, who was behind him, caught him, but Cadel didn’t even realize it. He didn’t realize he was falling, or that the swamp was dangerous. He was oblivious to everything, and all he seemed to be thinking about was meeting Kunra.

“Just a little further. Just a little bit…….”

The speed of Van chasing Cadel gradually slowed down. He slowly stopped and looked at Cadel’s back. Unspeakable emotions flickered in his darkened golden eyes.

“……Commander.”

At the faint call, Cadel straightened up. Van moved toward him, closing the distance that no longer separated them. He grasped his thin wrist and pulled Cadel gently to him. Cadel’s limp body sank into Van’s arms.

“I’ll go on my own.”

He stroked a soothing hand down Cadel’s shivering back. He hugged the pitiful body tightly, then gently pulled away. He rubbed Cadel’s tear-streaked cheeks.

What is so scary? If it’s so scary, why is he so desperate to tell me about it?

“We’re just going to go straight down this way, right?  I’ll meet him on my own. About what Commander said…… I had no idea what you were talking about. So I just have to ask.”

Van didn’t want to know. Even though he didn’t know what was what, he had an instinctive aversion to it.

But if it was his own ignorance that was causing Cadel so much pain, he had no choice but to know.

“So Commander, please go back.”

He forced a smile in front of Cadel’s blank face. With a sweep of his shoulder, Van walked past Cadel, who showed no sign of following. As the gaze on his back faded, Van’s expression hardened with anxiety.

Eventually, he saw the image of a man in the distance, and his heart started pounding helplessly.

* * *

“Oof…… Bleghh……!”

Cadel slumped against the wall at the mouth of the alley and gagged for a long time, throwing up nothing but stale gastric juices, his heart pounding in his throat.

“Gasp…… Ughh…!”

A kind of fear he had never felt before paralyzed his entire body. Even after he said everything, he didn’t feel the relief of a burden lifted. He was just scared. Terrified. Terrified of how Van would react when he heard his inexcusable sins from Kunra. Terrified of the contempt Van would show, terrified to the point of madness.

His brain felt like it was constricting. His vision faded in and out of black, and his body felt weak. The aftermath was even more overwhelming than when Kunra told him the truth.

“Hughhh…….”

He crouched in the corner, sobbing uncontrollably, biting his lip and swallowing his sobs. He staggered to his feet and took a moment to catch his breath.

He glanced back in the direction of the darkened street, where Van would be. What if he ran to Van now and prevented him from hearing the truth, that he had lost his mind for a moment, that Van was right, that he was acting strangely out of stress.

Imagined, but that was it. Cadel could no longer deceive Van. From the moment his loyalty became a burden, it was a foregone conclusion.

He turned and walked back to the castle. He clenched his fists a few times as if resisting an impulse, but that was all.

* * *

Cadel waited for Van all morning, but he never showed up. Cadel couldn’t sleep. He curled up on his bed and buried his head in his knees, imagining a million things in the agonizing passage of time.

No tears came, only a dry shudder. His stomach twisted in agony. He lifted his stiff head, and the first rays of the morning sun shone through.

Van didn’t come. There was no system window announcing his departure. Did he not go to Kunra? Did he just pretend to go? What if he did? Should Cadel drag him back to Kunra? Or should he just pretend like he didn’t know…….

Knock knock.

A knock was heard. The place where the sound came from was not the door. His head reflexively turned to face the window next to the bed. Lydon, in the form of a little fairy, was waving his hand as if he was happy to see Cadel.

Cadel shifted his stiff legs to open the window, and as soon as Lydon was back in his humanoid form, he pulled Cadel into a hug.

“Sigh, I missed you, darling! I tried to come by yesterday, but Lumen wouldn’t let me interrupt your rest. He asked if I wanted to get scolded again, so I held back. Did I do well? Did you get a good night’s rest?”

Lydon, who was kissing the top of Cadel’s head, slightly pulled away. Cadel wasn’t looking at him. Normally, there should be a response, whether it is annoyance or soothing.

Lydon tilted his head, looking dazed. He leaned down and locked eyes with Cadel, a puzzled expression on his face.

“Cadel? Where does it hurt?”

“……No, I’m good.”

“Hmm…….”

It was obvious that something wasn’t right. But there was no reason to suspect anything. The best Lydon could draw was that Cadel was exhausted from yesterday’s battle.

Lydon stopped examining Cadel and grabbed his wrist.

“Let’s go to my room. I told them to bring Cadel’s food to my room, so let’s eat together.”

Cadel’s actions were arbitrary and unasked for, but Lydon’s demeanor was confident. Lydon knew Cadel wouldn’t be angry, so he turned to storm out of the room, but Cadel grabbed his arm and held him back.

“Lydon.”

“Yeah?”

“By any chance…….”

He lowered his eyes and pursed his lips. Cadel took a small, deep breath, like he was asking a big question, and then spoke in a hushed voice.

“Do you know…… where Van is……?”

“Van?”

“Didn’t you see him?”

“I did.”

A shiver ran through the hand that gripped Lydon’s arm. Lydon’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Cadel. He turned and grabbed Cadel’s chin, who couldn’t make eye contact with him, and lifted it. His red eyes reflected Cadel’s expression, slightly contorted.

“Hmm, did Van do something weird?”

“It’s not like that. ……Where did you see him?”

“He was outside practicing on his own.”

Van was back. That fact alone made Cadel’s heart race like crazy. It didn’t even occur to him that Van hadn’t come back to find him, just that Van hadn’t left him. It was a relief, but it was also unsettling.

‘Either he didn’t go to Kunra after all, or Kunra didn’t tell him enough. Or he heard it all and didn’t believe it.…….’

Cadel couldn’t understand why, knowing everything, Van didn’t express any resentment. Maybe he was organizing his thoughts, and if so, how should Cadel behave? Naturally? Without coming across as too shameless?

The more he thought about it, the more he was lost.

“Do you want me to scold him?”

Lydon’s face came into view, closer and closer. Cadel forced the corners of his mouth to tug upward, realizing he must look strange. It was an awkward smile, but it was the best he could do.

“Who is scolding whom? Van doesn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then what’s with the look on your face?”

“What’s with the look on my face? I’m just exhausted from lack of sleep.”

“You know, Cadel.”

Lydon lowered the hand clutching Cadel’s chin to wrap around Cadel’s shoulder. A smooth, slippery hand slid over his upper arm and the inside of his wrist, taking Cadel’s hand in his own. Tightly clasped, he pressed a brief kiss to the top of Cadel’s forehead.

“I won’t forgive anyone who makes Cadel suffer.”

“…….”

“Because you’re my human.”

With that, Lydon smiled lightly. After kissing Cadel’s cheek and eyelids a few more times, he released his grip and shook their entwined hands. Cadel stared blankly into Lydon’s clear eyes, then slowly nodded his head.

“……I’m hungry. Let’s go to your room.”

“Okay! I didn’t know what Cadel would like, so I told them to bring different types.”

“Didn’t you just want to have a variety?”

“Ahaha! Correct!”

He was dragged out of the room by Lydon’s hand. He should be hungry, after starving himself all day, but the truth was, Cadel didn’t want to put anything in his mouth. He didn’t even want to eat to cheer himself up. He just couldn’t turn away Lydon, who had been looking for him since morning.

Cadel, who had been quietly following Lydon behind him, suddenly stopped and buried his nose in Lydon’s back. As he cupped his numb nose and narrowed his eyes, Lydon called out a familiar name.

“Van, are you done training already? When are you going to become stronger if you only move so little?”

“Better than you, who doesn’t move an inch.”

It was Van’s voice. His heart, barely calmed, began to pound again. Cadel stayed behind Lydon and swallowed dryly. He couldn’t muster the courage to appear in front of him.

After a few words back to Lydon, who was arguing, Van turned to Cadel, who was standing behind him.

“Commander.”

The familiar title weighed heavily on him. The firmly closed lips twitched, and Cadel slipped out from behind Lydon, his heart dropping once more at the direct stare.

“……Van.”

What kind of expression was Van making? Expressionless? Sharp expression? Displeased expression? Resignation? Many faces were envisioned, but the face that was finally revealed had the same friendly smile as always.

He treated Cadel as if what happened yesterday was nothing, as if it was normal.

“Good morning.”

There was no guessing what that nonchalant demeanor meant, so all Cadel could do was act it out with all his might.

“……Yeah. Good morning.”