After hearing the truth from the Scarlet Dragon, Cadel wasn’t the first name that came to mind.

Shin Yeohwan.

The strange, unfamiliar name stuck in his head. He even called it out loud a few times. The man from the other world was the commander who had been with him all this time. The realization that he had been at his side from the moment he had named the mercenary corps was quite disturbing.

He’d liked Cadel for a long, long time. Admired him, respected him. Without pause, the feelings grew and grew, until at some point, they became too much for him to handle, and he worried that Cadel would find out and run away.

Yes, that ‘one moment’ was the problem. At that ‘one moment’ when ‘liking’ grew into ‘loving’, there was Shin Yeohwan.

So was it Shin Yeohwan that he loved? He couldn’t say for sure. If it wasn’t for Cadel Lytos, the roots of those feelings wouldn’t have existed. But what if Cadel Lytos, not Shin Yeohwan, was still alive? Would his feelings still have borne fruit? The same huge, heartbreaking fruit?

It was a question that would remain unanswerable, perhaps forever, because it could never be determined. Everything was ambiguous. But in the midst of all the ambiguity, there were a few things he could be sure of.

That Van needed his presence, that Van wanted to reach out and embrace him. 

The emotions that could not be erased even after knowing the truth finally returned to their proper place. Like a force of nature, reason and will were useless against the raging tide of emotion.

“Bandages, hemostatic medications, and potions by type.”

Van was out of breath from running nonstop. He wiped his face roughly, full of blood and sweat, and he was met with horrified glances from the clerk. It was frustrating to watch the clerk stare at him while he searched for his order. He must have been bleeding all this time.

“It’s the monster’s blood. My comrade is injured, please hurry.”

“Ah…… Aah, monster……! I’ll give it to you soon!”

The clerk’s hands got busy when he realized Van hadn’t hurt anyone. Van handed the man a bag of money and stuffed the items into his bag.

Van’s face showed impatience as he hurried back down the street.

* * *

“Why are you out here? I told you to go inside and stay put.”

He found a safe cave, built a fire, and laid Cadel down. But when he returned to the cave, Cadel was pacing outside, clutching his wounded side. When Van, stunned by the absurdity of his appearance, hurriedly approached, Cadel muttered.

“I was just wondering when you would come back.”

In fact, he was afraid Van wouldn’t come back. If Van had come back any later, he would have left the cave altogether and traveled to the village.

Cadel smiled brightly, trying to hide his anxiety. Van, who had been staring at him, let out a low sigh and hugged him.

“Listen to people.”

Fortunately, the embers of the bonfire never went out. The heat in the cave was moderate. Van gently set Cadel down on a thin cloth on the floor. He was about to reach into his bag for a hemostatic medication when a sudden sensation of strangeness caught his attention. His eyes locked on Cadel’s, wide with bewilderment.

“Why, why are you crying?”

Cadel was clutching his mouth and sobbing soundlessly. As Van approached, panicked, Cadel’s face fell into a sullen grimace.

Van wondered why Cadel was crying all of a sudden. Was the wound too painful, and if so, he should probably start stopping the bleeding. Van’s expression turned sour with a mixture of worries, but then it hardened completely at Cadel’s next words.

“I missed you.”

“……I was just going to get some medicine.”

Van’s face contorted awkwardly as if he didn’t know what expression to make. He bit his lip impatiently and patted Cadel on the back.

He was f*cking endearing. So damn sweet, so damn adorable, that Van couldn’t push him away. He stroked Cadel for a long moment, drunk on the warmth of his embrace, and then, barely able to control himself, he pulled away.

“It hurts a lot, doesn’t it?”

“It’s okay.”

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

Blood still flowed from the deep gash. Cadel, a bitter smile on his pale face, looked back at Van, who was diligently tending to his wound.

It was a blow Cadel could have stopped, but he didn’t. He had expected Van to recognize him and stop the attack, even as he watched Van, covered in blood and swinging his greatsword like a devil, furiously. And so he was struck dumb.

“……I made a mistake.”

He answered vaguely, and Van stopped probing. Carefully bandaging the wound, he forced Cadel to lie down and sat down beside him.

There was a moment of silence. The crackling of the campfire and the wheezing of their breathing. In the silence, as they stared wordlessly into the fire, Van spoke up.

“I’ll go back. To the Knight Order.”

He felt Cadel move but didn’t turn around.

“I still remember my original commander, and I’ll never forget him, because he’s the hero who saved my life.”

“…….”

“I can’t act like I used to, because I still……. resent you a little bit”

“It’s okay, you can blame me.”

Cadel added urgently as he scrambled to his feet. He spoke desperately against Van’s flame-shadowed side.

“You don’t have to forget Cadel Lytos, you can keep blaming me. Because you deserve it. I’ll even pay for my deception with death. Therefore…… Just stay by my side.”

Van’s gaze shifted. He stared at Cadel’s parted lips, flushed cheeks, and damp eyes, and a faint smile crossed his face.

“Let’s start again. This time not as Cadel Lytos…… I will become your knight. You said you needed me. I’ll stay with you as long as you need.”

「Congratulations! You’ve successfully recruited A-grade Knight ‘Van Herdos’!」

「Current Knight Order Cost: 24/25」

He stared blankly at the system window, then rolled his eyes slowly. The small smile that lingered at the corner of Van’s mouth brought tears to his eyes.

The fact that Van knew everything and still reached out to him was overwhelming. The wish he had always wanted, the delusional wish that he had always hoped for, that Van would be a knight of Shin Yeohwan and not Cadel Lytos, he had made it a reality.

Cadel nodded vigorously, rubbing his eyes harshly to clear his blurry vision.

“Yes. Let’s start over.”

“I’ll only call you Shin Yeohwan when there’s two of us, although I don’t think I’ll call you that much since I usually call you Commander.”

“Yes, do whatever you want. You can even call me an idiot.”

“……There’s no way I could call you that. Don’t try to let me get away with anything.”

“Alright.”

Whatever Van said, he was going to say yes. Van rose to his feet, barely stopping Cadel’s attempt to reach him, and patted him on the chest as if to soothe a child to sleep.

“Get a good night’s rest tonight, and we’ll go back tomorrow when you wake up. Will we go to the Empire?”

“No, the Mountains of Silence. They’re all training there.”

“You’ve come a long way.”

“Everyone will be happy to see you.”

“Those guys? It’s creepy, to say the least.”

They chatted a lot until Cadel, now relaxed, fell asleep. How he should be called, what he was like in the original world, what his feelings were about the battles he had led.

As Cadel’s eyes glazed over with questions, Van withdrew his hand from Cadel’s and stroked his cheek.

“Good night.”

He gently dried the tears from the corners of his eyes. Looking down at the sleeping face, Van added hesitantly, in a small voice.

“……Yeohwan.”