Chapter 17: Turns Out the Clown Was Me All Along!

Soon enough, the group arrived.

Xiao Zheng sat upright in regal dignity, exuding authority from on high.

Wild Bear, Xiao Jing, Qi Si, and Song Yan stepped forward in unison to pay their respects.

“Kowtowing to Your Majesty—Long live the Emperor! Long live, long live!”

“You may rise,” Xiao Zheng said.

Xiao Jing snuck a glance at him.

Calling him a divine beauty wouldn’t be an exaggeration! His eyes were as misty and starlit as dawn, his skin fine as porcelain, his lips as elegant as peach blossoms, his temples shaped like they were trimmed by shears. His face held the softness of spring flowers, the brilliance of summer stars, the fullness of autumn’s moon, and the chill of winter snow.

So this was the fool who’d sacrifice the world for Yun Yi? Say what you will—but damn, he was really good-looking!

“You all stand before me because of your talents. Yet I find myself with a bit of a headache—I don’t know what posts to assign you. My reign has just begun, and the court remains in turmoil. I trust you’re aware this competition was held because I am eager for talent! I ask you to consider your choices carefully. If you are suitable, I will support you in securing your position—none shall dare question it!”

Everyone exchanged bewildered glances—666! A historical first! The Emperor wasn’t assigning roles—he was letting them choose!

Wild Bear stepped forward first. “Your Majesty, I’m just a brute who knows how to fight. Please don’t assign me anything too important—I’m not cut out for it!”

Xiao Zheng nodded thoughtfully.

Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses was a rare quality indeed.

Xiao Jing stepped forward in turn. “Your Majesty, this humble man’s name is Ni Die—Die as in ‘fall.’ I prefer wielding pen over sword, not one for bloodshed. I’ll take whatever position you assign, no greed here.”

That piqued Xiao Zheng’s interest!

Oh? You win a martial contest and then claim you dislike violence? Pull the other one! This guy was downplaying his talents to avoid being caught up in political strife. A man with both brains and brawn? Well, Xiao Zheng wasn’t about to let him off easy!

“How dare you! If you love the arts, why join a martial contest—and win no less? Possessing such talent and not offering it to the country—do you think you can shirk responsibility and live in peace? What would your parents and teachers think?” Xiao Zheng scolded with mock fury.

Yet Xiao Jing merely bowed slightly, unfazed and upright in bearing. “Your Majesty, I truly do not know if I have let them down—for my parents died in the chaos of war, and I am self-taught with no teacher. I only seek a post to fill my belly, to avoid sleeping rough and wandering aimlessly.”

Xiao Zheng couldn’t help but feel slightly flustered—this guy was tricky! But to stay composed under imperial wrath? A clear sign of future greatness.

“If you want a civil position, then prove yourself worthy. Let me see your true talent!”

Xiao Jing: “I await Your Majesty’s test.”

Off to the side, Song Yan was nearly scared witless. The Emperor is angry and you’re still standing?! You’re even asking to be tested—do you have a death wish?!

Song Yan tugged at Xiao Jing’s sleeve, shaking his head vigorously, clearly meaning Don’t dig your own grave!

Xiao Jing ignored him and stood respectfully, awaiting the test.

Xiao Zheng parted his peach-blossom lips: “With court unrest and Da Liang stagnating, I find my grand ambitions thwarted. Can you offer some words of inspiration to stir hearts and push the nation forward?”

Xiao Jing placed a finger like a spear beneath his chin, stepped forward two paces, then met Xiao Zheng’s gaze. “If I were truly entrusted with the weight of the people, I would shoulder the responsibility of my station. I would set my heart for Heaven and Earth, give life to the people, continue the wisdom of past sages, and open peace for all generations to come!”

His words rang loud and clear, striking straight to the heart!

Xiao Zheng leapt to his feet, clapping in delight. “Wonderful! To set one’s heart for Heaven and Earth, to give life to the people, to continue the wisdom of the sages, and to open peace for all generations! Splendid! I hereby grant you that very authority—effective immediately, you are appointed Grand General! Bear the weight of the people, lead the army, and wipe out the Ji Kingdom!”

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Xiao Zheng was absolutely thrilled—Xiao Jing, meanwhile, was dumbfounded.

“I must’ve misheard… He’s sending me to fight Ji?! After all this running, I’m still being sent to war—and against my own country no less?! The clown… was me all along!” he thought bitterly.

「But think about it… the room for maneuvering is huge here, get what I mean?」the system chimed in helpfully.

Xiao Jing barely managed to keep a straight face as he hurriedly knelt to accept the royal favor.

Next up was Song Yan. He bowed low and said, “Your Majesty, I am Song Yan. I wish for my father’s title to be passed down to me. When he grows old, I’ll take over and continue serving Your Majesty.”

Xiao Zheng gave him a meaningful look, recognizing the legitimate son of the Song family. It felt like watching a child come into his own.

“Granted!” Xiao Zheng replied, unaware that Song Yan had snuck into the contest to win himself a post, and thus made no further comment.

Xiao Jing had suspected Song Yan’s background wasn’t simple, but to think he was actually nobility! His request? On one hand, it sounded huge—hereditary nobility! On the other hand, it was just blatantly asking to preserve his family’s position. Ballsy!

The last to step forward was Qi Si, the burly man with the bushy beard.

“Your Majesty, I wish to join the army, destroy the Ji Kingdom, and help the people of Liang live better lives than those of Ji!” he declared bluntly.

“Hmph! If you destroy Ji, I’ll destroy you first,” Xiao Jing muttered inwardly.

「Title suggestion: The Undercover Becomes the Enemy Leader, and the Cannon Fodder Vows to Kill Him!」the system quipped.

Xiao Zheng gave a final nod. “Then so be it. Ni Die is appointed Protector General of the Nation! Song Yan as Cavalry General, Wild Bear and Qi Si as Vice Generals—assist Ni Die! In three days, depart for the border. Defend our land, fight our enemies! Follow the will of Heaven, and help me unify the world!”

At the same time, Xiao Zheng discreetly signaled the head eunuch to investigate the backgrounds of everyone except Song Yan.

The four were dismissed. Who would’ve thought they’d be lumped together—and under the command of that little sassy-face? Qi Si was a little frustrated, but dared not show it. To oppose Xiao Jing would be to challenge the Emperor’s decision—not a wise move. He’d get his chance at the frontlines!

Little did Qi Si know—Xiao Jing was also planning how to get rid of him! Heh, what a coincidence—both wanted the other dead. Guess they’d settle it on the battlefield!

Three days was enough time for each to go home, say goodbye, and enjoy a little comfort. Wild Bear and Qi Si were ready to let loose—after all, there’d be no women once they hit the frontlines.

Song Yan gave Xiao Jing a look suggesting they stay at his place for a couple of nights. The imperial residence wouldn’t be ready just yet.

Xiao Jing agreed—made sense.

Arriving at the Song estate, Song Yan’s unruly nature returned. He kicked the door and yelled, “Open up! Your young master is back!”

Hearing the commotion, the doors were opened and Song Yan was let inside.

As they walked, more and more guards appeared—each holding a staff—and suddenly they just started beating him!

Xiao Jing figured Song Yan’s dad must’ve been pissed, dishing out some discipline, so he didn’t interfere.

Song Yan got thrashed for a good while before they stopped. Face swollen, sniffling and sobbing, he now looked more like “Song Product III”!

“I’m an official now! How dare you assault a court officer! I’ll have you all locked up and flogged!” he cried.

The guards exchanged glances. This was the old master’s order—it ain’t our fault!

Wait—did he just say official? Their young master… had made it? He’d become an official?!

The steward came rushing over and hurriedly led Song Yan to the main hall. Xiao Jing followed with a curious expression, eager for the drama.