Chapter 14 – It’ll Explode

Ruan Jiaojiao: “…”

Xiaobao, that clever rascal, really dared to say anything!

And not only did Dabao not think it was wrong, he even nodded seriously in agreement. “Yeah…” And his face turned red.

“No way. That’s your cousin. You can’t marry her. If you do, your little pee-pees will explode.” Fu Ting deliberately scared them with what they feared most.

The moment the words left his mouth, Dabao and Xiaobao immediately cupped their little pee-pees with both hands. That was the most important thing on their bodies—it must not explode!

“Then I don’t want Sister Zhaodi anymore. I’ll let Xiaobao have her!” Dabao said first.

“Xiaobao doesn’t want her either. Better give her to Daddy~”

Fu Ting: “…”

“I already have your mama. A man can’t have too many wives.”

Dabao asked in confusion, “Why not? Isn’t it better to have more wives? I want four. One to take care of Mama, one to take care of Daddy, one to beat up Xiaobao, and one to play with me.”

Ruan Jiaojiao: “…” Children’s words should never be taken too seriously.

She was just about to speak when Fu Ting raised his hand, signaling her to let him handle it.

Then he said, “No, that’s not possible. A man only has one little pee-pee, so he can only have one wife. If you try to marry more, a second pee-pee will grow on your head.”

“And besides, marrying a wife isn’t about finding someone to help you look after your parents. It’s about living together and spending your whole life with her.”

“Dabao, Xiaobao, you must understand—Mama and Papa can’t be with you forever. One day, you two brothers will go your separate ways. The only one who can stay by your side is your wife. So when you grow up, you must treat her well, okay?”

It had to be said, the way this man educated the children really had its own unique style.

After Fu Ting’s explanation, both boys seemed to understand the true meaning of “wife.” They promised they’d only have one wife in the future… then immediately put their heads together to discuss which girl in the village looked the prettiest.

Ruan Jiaojiao: “…”

They were still young, but it was already obvious—these two handsome little rascals would one day be the dream of many girls. And Xiaobao? He already looked like a future flirt!

“Brother Ting, I saved you a roujiamo. Come and eat.”

The onlookers had all dispersed. Ruan Jiaojiao still worried that Fu Ting hadn’t eaten dinner.

He’d been working hard all day, more diligently than anyone else, never slacking off. Of course, that made him more exhausted than the rest.

But Fu Ting didn’t care about food.

With Dabao and Xiaobao off discussing girls, only he and Ruan Jiaojiao remained in the kitchen. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Fu Ting pulled her into his arms, buried his face in her shoulder, and inhaled deeply.

Ah! The scent of his wife!

Damn, she smelled so good!

“You smell so good,” Fu Ting said, clinging to her tightly. “I don’t even want to let you go.”

Ruan Jiaojiao didn’t struggle. She liked the way it felt to be held by him, quietly nestling in his arms. Then she said softly, “I’ve already taken a bath. After you finish eating, you should wash too. Bathing more often is good for your health.”

“You bathed…” Hearing that, Fu Ting reluctantly let her go. “Then I won’t touch you. I’m filthy. I’d just make you stink.”

Her lips curved into a smile. “It’s fine, Brother Ting. I like you sweaty and dripping, and… in every other way, too. However you are, I like it.”

Fu Ting: “…” Was his brain broken or what? How could he twist every word his wife said into something dirty?

Of course, he didn’t dare say his beastly thoughts aloud, afraid he’d scare her.

After dinner, Ruan Jiaojiao had already prepared hot water for him. There were no showers in those days—people washed with water from big clay vats.

But Fu Ting had always gone to the river to bathe, using icy cold water. He thought he was young and strong, so it didn’t matter. He never considered what illnesses he might get when he grew old.

Now it was different. His wife had prepared hot water for him. He would never have to freeze again, and even his “big guy” felt warm and comfortable.

When he finished washing, he noticed that a clean set of clothes had already been laid out for him.

They were freshly laundered, sun-warmed, and if he sniffed closely, carried the faint fragrance of Ruan Jiaojiao.

He loved it. He was delighted. For the first time, life seemed full of meaning.

When he returned to the bedroom, Ruan Jiaojiao had already coaxed the two little ones to sleep.

Children at this age needed plenty of rest to grow.

Seeing him enter, she pressed a finger to her lips, signaling him not to make noise.

Fu Ting went over, hugged her from behind, and immediately grew restless.

“Stop it!” she whispered angrily. But because she couldn’t raise her voice, it came out adorably fierce, soft and pouty.

That only made Fu Ting more excited. He nipped her ear and said, “Little Ancestor, your Brother Ting has been holding back for days.”

Ruan Jiaojiao: “…” That one “Little Ancestor” made her blush all over.

So now he’d completely fallen for her fierce side—the way she scolded and hit him. Great. There went her gentle, wifely image, shattered completely.

“No! Dabao and Xiaobao are asleep!”

“They’re sleeping like little pigs. Look at Xiaobao, butt sticking up high—he won’t wake. And if they do wake up… hmph, if they interrupt their old man, I’ll tan their hides!”

But Ruan Jiaojiao still refused. In the end, under Fu Ting’s persistent coaxing, they ended up in the kitchen.

There was no bed there, so Ruan Jiaojiao had to brace herself against the wall—unexpectedly, that only made Fu Ting act more like a beast.

Ruan Jiaojiao: “…”

—

The next morning, Fu Ting was the one who cooked breakfast. Just plain noodle soup with a couple of leafy greens. Then he went to work.

Ruan Jiaojiao, thoroughly worn out, didn’t wake until nearly noon. Her whole body ached. When she saw the pot of soggy noodles, she almost gagged.

Dabao and Xiaobao, having gotten used to their mama’s delicious cooking, weren’t pleased with the plain soup either.

But they were good boys. They knew food couldn’t be wasted, so each forced down a big bowl.

Of course, Ruan Jiaojiao wouldn’t waste food either. After washing up, she rinsed the noodles in cool water to make them firmer, then stir-fried them with soy sauce, bean sprouts, and carrots. Soon, the kitchen filled with the aroma of fried noodles.

These ingredients had been delivered that morning by Grandma Xue’s son. Even though he was a retired soldier confined to a wheelchair, he insisted on visiting Ruan Jiaojiao—because she was the only young woman his elderly mother ever praised.

Unfortunately, Ruan Jiaojiao hadn’t been awake to see him. And Fu Ting wouldn’t have allowed it anyway. Once he’d had a taste of pleasure, his jealousy grew fierce—he refused to let her meet other men.

When Dabao and Xiaobao smelled the fried noodles, they lit up like hungry little ghosts reborn. Each wolfed down another bowl.