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To be honest, Chen Shuyin wasn’t that angry at first.
The marriage was real, and as an actor, making it public was his way of being honest with the audience. She had long since grown desensitized to his open and unabashed displays of affection.
She had imagined what it would be like if they officially went public, but she hadn’t expected it to happen this way—everything piling up one after another, forcing her into a situation where she had only one choice. She chose to save him, only to realize afterward that he had already freed himself.
It felt like she had been deceived, played for a fool.
Chen Shuyin turned to face him and asked in a calm voice, “Do you really need me?”
Hearing her clear and gentle tone, Pei Yu’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He pulled a bath towel over her, wrapping her up securely, and made a move to carry her out.
Chen Shuyin stopped him. Her clear, bright eyes held no trace of humor, like a spring washing away the desire in his gaze. “Pei Yu, you’ve received signals of love and admiration from the public since you were a child. You’ve lived in a world of praise, surrounded by adoration. The love you experience far outweighs the criticism, so you’re arrogant, you’re willful, you do whatever you want, knowing that no matter what, there will always be people who love you.”
“The other day, Auntie took me to learn about your upbringing. I watched carefully, and I understood—you and I are different. You live with complete freedom of will. Your mother respects all of your decisions. She told me that you’re their treasure. She also said that I’m my parents’ treasure. But honestly, I wanted to refute her. Because I’m not.”
In the ten years of knowing her, Pei Yu had never heard her speak so much in one go, as if she were simply having a conversation.
Though she spoke lightly, every word felt like a rope tightening around Pei Yu’s heart, making it hard for him to breathe.
“My parents raised me with expectations—they wanted me to bring them prestige in their social circles, to be someone they could boast about, to use me as a means to connect with other powerful families and open doors for their business. But I was a failure to them. They told me so themselves.”
Chen Shuyin suppressed a sob. “I never liked making friends. When they talked about the sights of the world, about parties, about extravagant spending, I had nothing to contribute. I hid in the corners, seen as an odd and antisocial person.”
“The first time my parents pushed me into the center of a crowd, they told me to perform the ballet I had just learned. All eyes gathered on me, clinging to my skin like tiny insects. My blood felt frozen. The moment I started, I tripped and fell. The whole room burst into laughter. I wanted nothing more than to stay on the ground forever.”
Pei Yu choked up. “Baby—”
“You probably don’t understand that feeling, do you? Because you enjoy being watched, while I hate it. Every time you get close to me, you bring all that attention onto me. I have to endure baseless speculation, scrutiny, and noise that should never have been mine to bear.”
Someone as dazzling as him should never have come near her. Living in the shadows for too long, she wasn’t suited to the brightness—she rejected it like a foreign body.
“Now that this is out, when I go back to work, there will be countless people asking questions. I’m not good at dealing with that, and I’m afraid of facing it. But you’re used to it. Nothing will change for you.”
Chen Shuyin covered her face, trying to steady her breath. “I originally wanted to climb higher first, to establish myself as a journalist before discussing going public with you.”
Saying out loud that she had thought about going public with him was too revealing, too vulnerable. Realizing she had already said too much, she shook herself out of it. She grabbed the doorknob, preparing to leave. “Well, it’s not your fault. Under those circumstances, it was my choice to say it. I’ve said too much. Just treat it like air, like you never heard it.”
“I heard it.”
Pei Yu caught her wrist, his eyes soft with emotion. He repeated, “Every single word—I heard it.”
He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. “I’m sorry. I never think things through enough, and I’ve made things difficult for you.”
“I’ll try to be more considerate in the future, to handle things better, to discuss things with you before taking action. Okay?”
She felt the wetness of his tears against her neck. Shrinking slightly, she wrapped her arms around his muscular back. “Thank you for telling me these things, for letting me understand the you before I knew you.”
When Pei Yu used to linger at Fang Youyou’s place for food, he never really had the chance to spend time alone with elders. There were many things in the house related to Chen Shuyin, but barely anything about her parents. Since Fang Youyou never brought it up, Pei Yu, out of basic courtesy and respect, never asked.
“You used to do ballet? Can you still dance now?” He caught onto the detail and asked her directly.
Chen Shuyin fidgeted with her fingers. “No. I fell so badly that they said I had no talent and told me to learn something else.”
“What did you learn after that?”
“Pipa, guzheng, Chinese dance, and water sleeve dance…” She trailed off, not wanting to think about it. “But I never mastered any of them.”
“It’s not that you couldn’t learn them. You just didn’t like them. If your heart wasn’t in it, you couldn’t dedicate yourself to it.” Pei Yu ruffled her hair. “That doesn’t matter. Just being Chen Shuyin is already something to be proud of.”
That was… ridiculously corny.
Chen Shuyin shrugged uncomfortably. “Alright, alright.”
“Is there anything you actually like? It’s not too late to start learning now.” Pei Yu nudged her forehead. “I’ll learn with you, okay?”
Without hesitation, she refused. “Then I’d have to find something buried deep in the mountains, away from people.”
He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. “You’ve already compromised too much because of my status. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.”
“You talk like we’re going to spend a lifetime together.”
He chuckled. “That’s exactly what I’m planning. You just sit back and enjoy it, okay?”
Chen Shuyin sniffed. “I’ll think about it.”
Their gazes locked for a long time before Pei Yu lowered his head to kiss her forehead, laughing softly. “I’m so happy. But isn’t it frustrating to stop halfway?”
“I’m not helping you.” Chen Shuyin hid her hands behind her back.
“Alright. Then you can just sit here and watch me.”
“No way. I don’t have that kind of fetish.”
“If I don’t look at you, I won’t be able to finish. What if I suffocate from holding it in?”
Chen Shuyin scoffed. “I’ll use a toy. Or find someone else. I have plenty of options.”
“…” Pei Yu let out a wounded huff. “Such a cruel woman.”