Chapter 20

Feng Chengze rarely acted on impulse. In his position, he couldn’t afford to be impulsive. He was used to weighing the pros and cons before making any decision. However, at this moment, he couldn’t think of anything else; his instincts already defeated him. When he heard her softly hinting that they knew nothing about the past five years and had no involvement, as if there was room for regret, he couldn’t suppress the nameless anger in his heart. He thought he should be angry at her naivety and immaturity. He and A Yu are indeed brothers, but they are also men. Even if he had never considered divorce and had decided to part ways amicably, he would never accept her having any entanglement with A Yu. That is absolutely impossible.

Feng Chengze’s original intention was to give her a taste and completely dispel her unrealistic fantasies and thoughts. He knew what he was doing and still retained absolute rationality. However, when their lips touched, and she instinctively parted her lips slightly, his breath became heavy and hot, as if greedily inhaling her breath. Their lips and teeth met; he paused for a second, then kissed her more deeply, his hand gripping her waist, pulling her into his embrace. Their bodies pressed against each other under the streetlight, responding to one another.

Ji Qingyu was already confused by his question, and before she could even sort out her thoughts, he kissed her without warning. Her mind went blank for a few seconds, and then she uncontrollably closed her eyes, accepting his relentless advance. He was clean and hadn’t smoked in the past few years, and he was used to rinsing his mouth after meals. His mouth had a refreshing minty taste. His body also carried a pleasant scent; Ji Qingyu had to admit that kissing him was not only not unpleasant but also quite enjoyable. In the desolate place, it was so quiet that they could hear their tongues entangling. She could barely stand and had to tilt her head back to endure it.

Perhaps sensing that she was not struggling, the hand that had been holding her waist began to caress her back, slowly moving up to her neck, gripping it slightly to pull her closer, exchanging saliva. This kiss lasted a long time; whenever Ji Qingyu felt she was about to run out of breath, he would loosen his grip, but their lips would still be touching. Once she had breathed in fresh air and her lungs felt less suffocated, he would cover her lips again, rolling and grinding against her. He kept telling her over and over again, forcing her to accept reality. They were both very clear-headed at that moment, with no alcohol, no confusion of emotions, and no lack of control. He kissed her, and she responded, not just once. They were being complicit.

No one can go back to the past, crossing the river of these five years; his pant legs were wet with water, and so was the hem of her skirt. Their shadows intertwined intimately under the streetlamp.

On the way back, no one spoke. Feng Chengze drove with a calm expression, his shirt wrinkled at the shoulder where she had clung to him. If her lips weren’t swollen and still a bit hot, Ji Qingyu would have wondered if that passionate kiss, which made her lose all sense of time and space, was real or just a hallucination caused by her thirst. As the iceberry-colored car drove into the underground garage, she felt a few seconds of weightlessness. He drove steadily and parked the car neatly in the parking space. After parking, he didn’t unbuckle his seatbelt but sat silently in the dimly lit car, clearly having more to say.

“I know about what you mentioned.” He leaned back in his seat, his posture relaxed, and after a moment, he spoke hoarsely, “There are no regrets in this world. If you and I could return to five years ago, perhaps there would still be room for choices.”

Ji Qingyu quietly lowered her head. She didn’t listen to what he was saying. This was very impolite behavior; in the past, when they talked, she would always look at his face to show she was listening attentively. But now, she didn’t want to look directly at him, not out of shyness, but because she was worried her gaze would linger on his lips. It’s hard to judge Feng Chengze’s kissing skills as good or bad. At first, he was overly clumsy. She strongly suspected that he had never kissed anyone before, only knowing how to bite her with his teeth so roughly that her tongue felt numb and painful. He was smart yet forceful in such matters. In no time, he swiftly occupied and ravaged every part of her mouth. This was the most intense and longest kiss so far. Long ago, she had realized that it was hard to fight against bodily reactions. When feeling physical pain, how could one possibly be in a good mood?

Similarly, if the body felt pleasure, it was hard for emotions to be bad. Just like at this moment, she should have been angry at his impulsive kiss, but unfortunately, she wasn’t angry at all. If she had even the slightest bit of unhappiness or resistance, they wouldn’t have kissed until a taxi passed, and only then did they realize and separate.

Feng Chengze saw that she didn’t speak. His expression paused slightly, and he unconsciously gripped the steering wheel tightly, his voice deep. “So, don’t say that I haven’t made a choice yet.”

He did it just an hour and a half ago.
He did it clearly and rationally.

“I want to figure out what happened five years ago for no other reason,” he said softly. “Just out of curiosity. At this point, it doesn’t matter to me who was right or wrong. As for whether there’s a chance to mend my relationship with A Yu—”

Suddenly, he turned his head to look at her with a mix of seriousness and inquiry. “That depends on what he’s thinking now,” he said. “If he’s thinking of destroying my family, then it’s better for him to stay in Mexico.”

Ji Qingyu was speechless. She had been careless, her perspective too narrow. Today, her mother inadvertently revealed something that shocked her. She had guessed that something terrible must have happened five years ago. Even if she and Feng Yu had fallen out and hated each other, he would never accept his ex-girlfriend being with his older brother.

Moreover, on the eve of the wedding, the two brothers were indeed at odds, to the point that even their parents didn’t dare intervene. She thought Feng Chengze would be as shocked as she was when he found out. Sometimes, guessing is one thing, and confirming is another.

However, Feng Chengze was so calm that it seemed the ‘brotherly conflict’ didn’t involve him but someone else. Not only was he not shocked, but his expression was also very calm.

“You seem to have misunderstood my meaning,” Ji Qingyu finally sorted out her thoughts. “I don’t have siblings, so I don’t understand how deep the bond of blood is, but family members are supposed to be forgiving, right? Many times, emotions are unreasonable. After I broke up with Feng Yu, it was my freedom to be with whoever I wanted, and I wouldn’t feel guilty or sorry, but…”

The truth is usually not pleasant to hear. She was only trying to look at it from an outsider’s perspective. Feng Yu might have done something to let her down, but at least before this three-person relationship started, he hadn’t done anything to let his older brother down.

The reason is the reason, and family is family. The law naturally doesn’t have explicit regulations, but in life, why should we adhere to that line and never easily get emotionally involved with a ‘friend’s partner,’ ‘sister’s boyfriend,’ or ‘brother’s girlfriend’? Because once you cross that line, it means ‘betrayal.’

“You haven’t experienced these five years and have no feelings for me. If you feel very guilty towards Feng Yu,” she said softly, “I don’t know what to do, so I wanted to ask you.”

In a relationship between two people, the most feared word is ‘regret.’
Once the thought of ‘not worth it’ or ‘not worthwhile’ arises, it will become a cage, no matter how spacious or luxurious the house is.

Feng Chengze was silent for a moment and then said in a low voice, “I have already answered you.”

Ji Qingyu’s breath hitched. The ‘answer’ he mentioned was naturally not the few words he had just said. Indeed, before today, their relationship was still innocent. Whatever happened in the past five years was not something they experienced or chose. But after today, they had kissed and hugged. Even if they could return to five years ago, could she still be with Feng Yu? Could he continue acting like nothing had happened and still be his older brother?

“It has nothing to do with feelings or experiences. I can distinguish between right and wrong.” He looked at the wedding ring on his left ring finger. “As for the guilt you mentioned, I might not have it because I didn’t take you away from him.”

“He calmly said, ‘…Given your relationship with A Yu, I don’t think I would ever force you. What do you think?”

Ji Qingyu was slightly stunned: “I don’t think you would either.”

However, she seemed to understand why he was so calm. Her thought process was completely different from his. In his world, he was innocent. How could it be said that he was stealing or taking? It was she who broke up with Feng Yu, and it was she who chose him.

Ji Qingyu: “…”

She was amazed. Do all capitalists have this ability? She suddenly understood why, when she politely asked for a higher salary during a job interview, the company’s boss smiled and said, ‘Miss Ji, think about it. You are a fresh graduate and need work experience wherever you go. I am giving you the opportunity to learn and progress in our company, which you should cherish. Isn’t the salary secondary?’

The two of them sat in the car for a while. Seeing that it was almost eleven o’clock, they stopped the stalemate. He turned off the car, unbuckled her seatbelt, locked the car, and they walked towards the elevator one after the other.

Ji Qingyu’s lips were still a bit swollen. Even though the lipstick she had reapplied before going out had been completely rubbed off, her lips were still rosy.

Sister Sun had already gone to bed, and Feng Jiayuan slept soundly.

“It’s late. You go wash up first.” Hearing these six words from Feng Cheng, Ji Qingyu couldn’t help but think to herself, so after kissing, did her good manners and humility transfer to him?

She returned to the master bedroom and thoroughly washed off his scent from her body. While brushing her teeth, she cursed him a few times in her mind. Her lips were slightly chapped, and there was a bit of stinging when she rinsed her mouth. Anyone who didn’t know better might think a mad dog had bitten her. As soon as the thought arose, she suppressed it, cursing him and herself because she couldn’t deny that she had enjoyed the kiss. After coming out of the bathroom, she sent him a message: [Done.]”

A few minutes later, he knocked on the door and came in, casting a restrained glance at her. She lightly walked out of the bedroom, holding body lotion and a massager. On her way to the living room, she passed by the study, where the light was still on. She casually glanced at the empty wine glass on the desk. She ignored it and sat on the sofa in the living room, evenly applying cream to her elbows. After finishing, she was so bored that she simply took the massager and went to the floor-to-ceiling window. While gazing at the city river nearby that resembled the Milky Way, she pondered. When Feng Chengze came over, standing behind her with an air of pressure, she finally snapped back to reality. She glanced at him, thinking it was because she hadn’t replied to his message, and explained, “I didn’t check my phone.”

“Mm.” He had bathed, and his body exuded the same scent as hers. “Go inside and sleep.”

“Okay.”

Ji Qingyu followed him inside, turning off the lights as she went. The once brightly lit living room was now plunged into darkness.

Outside the building, a black car was parked like a beast hidden in the night. The owner started the engine a few minutes later and silently drove away.

In the master bedroom, Ji Qingyu removed her hairband, letting her hair spread out on the pillow. The reading light on her side was already off.

Feng Chengze was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to her, seemingly replying to work messages. She quietly observed him from the corner of her eye, from his hair to his broad back. As soon as he moved, she immediately closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. Not long after, he turned off his light and lay beside her. If the atmosphere had been awkward before, it was now replaced by a tense and subtle ambiguity.

There was a trap hidden under the sheets between them. Neither could remain indifferent or watch from the sidelines because they were on the same boat and in the same bed. If anyone moved and accidentally triggered the trap, both would fall into it together.