Chapter 002: The Crown Prince Might Be ED

Lin Shouyan is a transmigrator.

As the saying goes: Money can solve 90% of your life’s problems, and having a lot of money can solve the remaining 9%.

Lin Yan lived a smooth life for 23 years, until he encountered the remaining 1%.

During a rehearsal, a chandelier fell on his head, and then he transmigrated.

The young man he transmigrated into is called Lin Shouyan, a character in the background setting of a BL novel, not part of the main text.

In the original story, the dog emperor used a life-saving favor to coerce Lin Shouyan into becoming the crown princess, as an insult to the male lead.

The status of a male wife was low, and with the dog emperor’s instigation, Lin Shouyan was kidnapped! And done! Done several times! Even done in front of Qi Zhen!

Villains spread rumors all over the streets that Qi Zhen was impotent, and even his foolish male wife had to seek fun elsewhere!

Qi Zhen was humiliated and beheaded Lin Shouyan, achieving his first milestone. From then on, he embarked on the path of darkening.

The original plot went awry, and to ensure Qi Zhen’s darkening, Lin Yan came.

The original story’s plot had already been missed, so Lin Yan had to think of another way.

He couldn’t go out of character, at least not immediately. He had to take it step by step.

Otherwise, the crown prince, who had long been displeased with this male wife, might use the excuse of being possessed by an evil spirit to deal with him!

So, Lin Yan continued to play dumb.

Currently, the most reliable way to darken Qi Zhen, who was emotionally stagnant, was: sleep with him, then tell him he’s no good, and that even the courtesans at the brothel are ten times better than him!

Crush Qi Zhen’s male pride, and he’ll definitely darken!

No man can stand being told he’s no good!

Or, gain his trust, then betray him! That would surely darken him too.

Only kids make choices; the adult Lin Yan decided to do both.

Now that he’s already in bed, how far can success be?

System: [Reasonably suspecting the host of using public office for personal gain]

Lin Shouyan: This is called sacrificing oneself for the mission!

System: …

Lin Shouyan secretly complained to the system.

Qi Zhen is such a dog!

This bed is so much more comfortable than his own! So soft and warm! And it smells nice!

This bed is where he was meant to be.

Lin Shouyan turned around, and before he could speak, Qi Zhen seemed to see through him, “Shut up, sleep.”

Lin Shouyan was silent for two seconds, then began to squirm under the covers.

Qi Zhen had just closed his eyes when he was disturbed by the noise. His hand occasionally brushed against Lin Shouyan’s warm, smooth skin.

“What are you doing?”

Lin Shouyan whispered, as if it was only natural, “Taking off my clothes.”

“Why are you taking off your clothes?”

“To sleep.”

Yes, the fool was different from ordinary ancient people.

He had to sleep naked.

“I’m used to not wearing clothes… Yan Yan promises not to wet the bed.”

Qi Zhen: “…”

It was already late at night, and the room was pitch black.

Qi Zhen’s voice came from the darkness, “Why are you digging a pit for me?”

“Mom said, once you enter the palace, it’s as deep as the sea. I have to hold tightly onto the third leg of the crown prince brother!”

“…Did your mom teach you that?”

Simply…

Unimaginable.

The little fool looked as if it was only natural, “Yes! In the future, if the crown prince brother kills someone, can you tell Yan Yan in advance? Yan Yan will dig the pit for you!”

Qi Zhen closed his eyes and said nothing.

“Crown prince brother, isn’t Yan Yan good to you? Can you let me hold your third leg?”

Silence was Qi Zhen’s refusal.

The little fool didn’t have the guts to pull down the crown prince’s pants himself, so he lay there sighing.

“Yan Yan doesn’t even have three legs! Crown prince brother, you’re amazing!”

Qi Zhen turned his head slightly, feeling complicated, thinking that this crown princess beside him was very embarrassing!

The little fool was completely unaware, turning over in the bed, back facing Qi Zhen, “Brother, my back itches, can you scratch it for me?”

Qi Zhen remained unmoved.

“If you have so many needs, get out.”

The little fool could only rub against the mattress, sighing, “Ah, brother, your bed is so comfortable~”

Qi Zhen turned his head.

His dark pupils were like a bottomless cold pool, silently staring at him.

It was scrutiny, also a warning.

The little fool shut up, and after a while, held Qi Zhen’s hand, “Brother, are you cold? Yan Yan will warm your hands.”

Qi Zhen wasn’t cold, but because he was moving around under the covers, wind came in.

Now he was cold.

He pulled his hand back, closed his eyes, “Don’t touch me.”

“Oh.”

The little fool silently moved an inch away, and after a while, said, “Brother, now that we’re sleeping in the same bed, will there be a baby in my belly tomorrow morning?”

“Who will our baby resemble more? I hope it looks more like brother, because brother is very handsome. Brother’s lips are very pretty, did you put on lipstick?”

The little fool paused, then asked again.

“Brother, will you like our baby? When it’s born, should it call me mom? I don’t really like that, can it call me dad instead?”

Qi Zhen found it annoying and coaxed the fool, “Lin Shouyan, if you keep talking, you’ll have a miscarriage.”

The little fool seemed genuinely afraid of losing the child in his belly, covering his stomach and shutting his mouth, closing his eyes. After a while, he opened them again.

“Brother, are you annoyed with Yan Yan? Are you going to punish me?”

The little fool shrank under the covers, “That won’t do. If I get sick, won’t I still cling to brother? If brother gets angry, just lightly hit me a couple of times, bite me a bit… Yan Yan will come over for brother to bite, okay?”

A warm body approached.

“Crown prince brother, why aren’t you speaking?”

The system couldn’t bear to look.

Qi Zhen turned his head, looking at him.

Lin Shouyan: ?

Round two.

Lin Shouyan was thrown out again.

Lin Shouyan held his waist, secretly complaining to the system.

This man is no good.

Even after all that, he didn’t react at all!

Rumor has it that officials in the court sent him dozens of beauties, and while other men would be staring, he didn’t even bat an eye.

Nine times out of ten, he’s impotent.

–

It wasn’t until the year-end sacrificial ceremony that Lin Shouyan saw the crown prince again.

The year-end sacrificial ceremony was held at an ancient temple on Qianshan.

The temple had been swept of snow early to welcome the imperial procession. The emperor, crown prince, various princes and their families, and first and second rank officials from the court, all came in a grand procession.

Lin Shouyan followed the crown prince.

He knelt when he knelt, kowtowed when he kowtowed.

Lin Shouyan kowtowed until he was dizzy. On the steps, he slipped on the snow. In the next second, someone grabbed his hand.

Qi Zhen, seeing that he was stable, withdrew his hand indifferently.

Lin Shouyan heard the whispers among the crowd, praising how handsome, attentive, kind-hearted, and considerate the crown prince was.

He glanced to the side, quietly moving to Qi Zhen’s side, letting them see him.

This body, though not as good as his original one, was still quite handsome!

Praise me! Praise me!

The murmurs quickly turned to, “Isn’t that the fool?”

Lin Shouyan: …

Qi Zhen gave him a cold glance.

Lin Shouyan quietly retreated to his position.

Once the messy rituals were over, Qi Zhen disappeared somewhere. Lin Shouyan was about to look for him when a bunch of kids surrounded him.

Being a fool, he naturally attracted children.

Because he couldn’t break character, Lin Shouyan let them drag him to play house.

As Qi Zhen passed by the corridor, he saw Lin Shouyan surrounded by children, making a fuss. He held a wooden doll, and his exposed fingers were red,

from the cold.

Qi Zhen slightly turned his head, giving the eunuch beside him a look.

Xu Fuquan immediately understood, handing a small hand warmer to Lin Shouyan.

Lin Shouyan took it, following the eunuch’s gaze to see Qi Zhen.

Only a back view remained, but it was exceptionally graceful.

Lin Shouyan stood up to chase after him, but a child tugged at his clothes, asking where he was going with the game unfinished.

Lin Shouyan pulled his clothes back, in character, he touched his doll to the snacks the children brought, then shouted, “Oh no! The snacks are poisoned! Ah! I’m dead!”

Alright, his game was over.

Xu Fuquan: “…”

The other kids: Foolish.