Chapter 8 – 08

Jiang Siwei’s sudden confession wasn’t made to seek an immediate response, nor did he pressure Lou Jia to give him an answer right then and there.

“This is the first time I’ve seen someone confess without wanting a reply,” Lou Jia chuckled softly. After thinking for a long time, she finally said, “Jiang Siwei, you’re so strange.”

A silent crush, and a confession that asked for nothing in return.

“I just hope that what we had before can have a proper beginning,” Jiang Siwei said. “Take your time to think about it, there’s no rush to give me an answer.”

After all, he had waited so many years; a little more time wouldn’t make a difference.

Lou Jia’s heartbeat gradually returned to a calm rhythm. She quietly looked at Jiang Siwei and asked in a steady voice, “What if, after thinking it over, I decide to reject you?”

“Liking you is my business. Whether you accept or reject me is your right,” Jiang Siwei, having laid everything bare, felt more at ease. “I just hope you won’t see my feelings as pressure or a burden, something you have to accept.”

“I definitely wouldn’t think of it that way,” Lou Jia laughed. “From childhood to now, do you know how many times I’ve been confessed to?”

Jiang Siwei agreed, “Of course, quite a lot. Half of the love letters you received in high school were given to you by me.”

“Oh, right.” Lou Jia nudged his arm. “Be honest, did you ever secretly hide any of the love letters meant for me?”

“…” Jiang Siwei’s eyes darted away, feeling guilty under Lou Jia’s gaze. He rubbed his face and confessed, “I did hide a few…”

Lou Jia let out a snort of laughter.

Jiang Siwei, realizing too late, felt his face heat up as he quietly defended himself, “The ones I hid… were from boys who didn’t seem like they were any good.”

“Is that so?” Lou Jia looked at him skeptically.

Jiang Siwei, unable to handle it, slowly retreated, “There were also… a few from the type I thought you’d definitely like.”

“Lucky you, Jiang Siwei!” Lou Jia laughed in frustration. “I knew it! So many people wrote me love letters, and I couldn’t find a single one I liked!”

Jiang Siwei stopped in his tracks.

In the moonlight, his smile was bright, and his tone was filled with amusement. “Sis, early relationships violate school rules, I was doing it for your own good.”

“Bullshit!” Lou Jia raised her middle finger at him.

Jiang Siwei didn’t bother to explain further. His selfish motives were something he couldn’t admit to, and there wasn’t much more to say. Especially when he first heard about Lou Jia dating Zhang Lin, his birthday wish had been for them to break up.

However, after seeing how sad Jian Rongrong was after her own breakup, Jiang Siwei didn’t want Lou Jia to go through that kind of pain. So, he reluctantly started wishing them a long and happy relationship.

But looking back now, it seemed his birthday wish hadn’t been all that effective, after all.

Of course, the lack of sincerity in that wish played a big role, though Jiang Siwei never fully admitted that to himself.

Lou Jia, of course, had no idea about Jiang Siwei’s little internal struggles and was still planning to celebrate his birthday properly this year.

She originally planned to take Jiang Siwei hiking and camping in the mountains, with the added bonus of watching the sunset and sunrise. However, Fang Jin somehow caught wind of this plan and insisted on joining them.

In the end, what was supposed to be an outing for two turned into a large group event. Led by Ying Xi and the grandson of a local family, the six of them headed into the mountains after lunch, carrying their gear.

Wutong Village was surrounded by mountains, with towering, dense forests stretching endlessly. The expanse of green and blue looked like a realistic oil painting.

Lou Jia had brought her camera and kept stopping along the way to take pictures, and unknowingly falling to the back of the group.

Jiang Siwei stayed by her side the entire time.

“Is that a marmot?” Lou Jia lowered her camera and grabbed Jiang Siwei’s arm, pointing toward a small mound ahead. “There, do you see it?”

Jiang Siwei squinted, looking in the direction she pointed. “It looks like it.”

“Why isn’t it afraid of people?” Lou Jia commented. She had gone hiking in the northwest before, where marmots would often appear in the woods, but they were so fast that she could never capture them with her camera.

“Maybe it hasn’t noticed us?” Jiang Siwei took a few steps forward, making quite a bit of noise. The marmot stirred but didn’t move far.

Lou Jia followed, getting closer and snapping a few photos of it. Then she handed her camera to Jiang Siwei. “Help me take a picture with the little guy.”

Jiang Siwei followed her instructions, stepping back a couple of paces. He crouched down, and through the viewfinder, he saw Lou Jia leaning slightly to one side, pointing toward the marmot.

The sunlight filtered through the trees, illuminating her smile, making it even more radiant.

Jiang Siwei found himself momentarily lost in the sight.

“Are you done?” Lou Jia asked.

“Almost.” Jiang Siwei refocused the camera and pressed the shutter a few more times. “All done.”

Lou Jia quickly walked over. “Let me see how your photos turned out.”

Jiang Siwei handed the camera to Lou Jia, quickly muttering something that sounded like the local dialect. She could only make out the word “you” in it.

Lou Jia looked at him. “What are you mumbling about? I didn’t understand a word.”

“I said, you’re beautiful,” Jiang Siwei repeated in Mandarin.

Lou Jia couldn’t quite describe the feeling in that moment—part of her felt it was natural, but another part was a bit embarrassed. Using the excuse of checking the photos, she avoided responding, though her hand trembled slightly as she held the camera.

She didn’t really focus on the photos and instead slung the camera around her neck. “Let’s go.”

Jiang Siwei didn’t say anything further, and he quietly followed her.

The group arrived at the campsite before nightfall. It was an open area of flat ground where the traces of previous camping activities were still visible.

Ying Xi and Liu Xiao Shan, both locals, knew the mountain temperatures would drop quickly, so they immediately started a fire as soon as they arrived.

The six of them gathered around the campfire to watch the sunset, and afterward, they busied themselves setting up the tents.

Lou Jia, having had hiking experience, was quite adept at pitching tents. With her and Liu Xiao Shan’s guidance, the three tents were quickly set up.

Night fell early in the mountains. By the time Jiang Siwei and Fang Jin returned from collecting firewood, with the sun had already completely disappeared.

“I’m so hungry, so hungry, when are we eating?” Fang Jin dropped a pile of firewood onto the ground with a thud and plopped down beside the campfire. “Are those sweet potatoes ready yet?”

“They were just thrown in,” Lou Jia replied, handing him a freshly skewered sausage from the iron plate. “Have this to tide you over, we’ll eat soon.”

After speaking, she turned to Jiang Siwei. “Are you hungry?”

“Not too bad,” Jiang Siwei replied as he finished washing his hands and came over to help out.

Lou Jia casually picked up a small piece of roasted beef and held it up to Jiang Siwei’s mouth. “Careful, it’s hot.”

Just as Jiang Siwei took a bite, Fang Jin jumped up and yelled, “Not fair! Not fair! Why do I get a raw sausage while he gets beef?”

Another girl in the group, He Miao, teased, “You’ve got some nerve, competing with your younger brother.”

“Do I even have any nerve left?” Fang Jin quipped.

Fang Jin’s straightforward attitude amused everyone. Ying Xi, trying to console him, handed him a piece of beef and said, “Why does this feel like I’m feeding Xiao Mao?”

Fang Jin: “…”

By the time the moon was high in the sky, the six of them had eaten and drunk their fill. They sat around the campfire, chatting about life and their futures. Fang Jin asked Ying Xi why, after working so hard to pass the exams and leave, he decided to come back.

Ying Xi stared at the flickering flames and, with a smile, asked in return, “And why did all of you come here?”

The group thought for a while. Lou Jia didn’t feel like speaking, and the others didn’t quite know how to respond. Only Jiang Siwei said, “Weren’t you the ones who asked me to come?”

Lou Jia couldn’t hold back her laughter, and the others followed suit, laughing along.

Liu Xiao Dong raised the can in his hand. “Whatever the reason, I’ll thank you on behalf of the kids at the school for coming out here.”

“Cheers!” He Miao responded, clinking her drink with his.

After a few rounds of drinks, Fang Jin suggested playing a game—none other than the classic, cliché party game: Truth or Dare.

In the first few rounds, Fang Jin, Liu Xiao Dong, and Lou Jia kept getting picked.

Lou Jia consistently chose “Truth,” but she was fortunate that the questions she got were relatively simple and didn’t touch on any sensitive topics.

Fang Jin and Liu Xiao Dong each picked “Dare” once and “Truth” once. The dares weren’t too difficult, and Liu Xiao Dong managed to avoid any embarrassing questions during “Truth.” Fang Jin, however, wasn’t so lucky.

The question he got was, “What color is your underwear today?”

“Come on!” Liu Xiao Dong exclaimed, covering his face. “Red, red! It’s my zodiac year!”

After everyone finished laughing and was about to start the next round, Jiang Siwei suddenly stood up, saying he was going to get some water.

When he returned, he sat on the other side of Lou Jia, essentially taking her spot in the game.

As luck would have it, the next round ended up landing on Jiang Siwei. He chose “Dare.”

He Miao handed him her phone. “Pick your own dare.”

“Walk into a crowd and sing a song in front of everyone,” Jiang Siwei read out his dare.

Fang Jin shouted, “What kind of dare is that? We’re out here in the mountains, where are you going to find an audience? You’ve got some seriously good luck, man!”

Jiang Siwei, however, gave a wry smile.

For him, this really was quite the challenge.

Lou Jia also laughed from the side. While the others didn’t know, she was well aware that Jiang Siwei was hopelessly tone-deaf, a complete disaster when it came to singing.

She nudged his knee with hers. “Give me 500 bucks, and I’ll sing for you.”

Jiang Siwei took a deep breath. “No need.”

Lou Jia grinned at the group and jokingly said, “Just a friendly reminder, feel free to cover your ears when necessary.”

Jiang Siwei laughed helplessly, knowing he had no grounds to argue. He mentally scanned through his song list and cleared his throat. “Alone, gazing at the blue sea and sky…”

He barely got through the first line before Fang Jin was already furrowing his brow in confusion.

Jiang Siwei, having fully committed, kept singing, with the pitch going higher and higher.

He Miao listened, growing more perplexed. “The lyrics sound familiar, but this tune—something’s definitely off, right???”

Lou Jia was laughing so hard that she leaned against Ying Xi’s shoulder, watching Jiang Siwei’s profile without saying a word. As the song reached its climax, he suddenly turned his head.

Caught off guard, their eyes met. Lou Jia was momentarily dazed, but his off-tune singing quickly pulled her back to reality.

“Your heart has a wall,

But I’ve found a window,

Occasionally letting out a faint warm light.

Even though there’s a wall,

My love will climb up the windowsill and bloom.

When you open the window, you’ll see the sadness melt away…”

Jiang Siwei’s singing was truly indescribable, but his face was undeniably captivating.

Even Lou Jia, whose heart had been quiet for so long, couldn’t help but feel it stir once more, beating in rhythm with his performance, silently cheering him on.

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Author’s Note:

Puppy’s wish: A bit sincere, but not too much 🙂

Puppy’s singing: A bit brave, but terrible 😀

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“Alone… sadness melts away”: Heart Wall by Claire Kuo

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