Chapter 39

Since she started following SF, they had played so many matches, but this was the one Ying Nian watched the least attentively. Whenever the game’s pace slowed slightly, her thoughts would inevitably drift away from the big screen.

The ticket was a complimentary one from Yu Linran, but she hadn’t seen Yu Linran in a long time. It wasn’t like before, when she would pre-order a cake in advance, just waiting to deliver it backstage after the match.

When SF won the match, Ying Nian clapped so hard that her palms turned red. Even as the crowd dispersed, her mind was still somewhat unfocused, still immersed in the emotions from not long ago.

For the first time in a while, she received a message from Yu Linran as the crowd was leaving.

He asked, [Where are you?]

Ying Nian stopped on one side of the main entrance and replied, [I’m at the venue.]

[Where in the venue?]

She looked around and told him her location.

He simply replied, [Stay where you are.]

While holding her phone, Ying Nian stood still. The audience gradually left, and within a few minutes, a figure appeared beside her.

The person approaching was dressed in casual clothes. Slightly startled, Ying Nian instinctively shifted to the side. When she saw the face hidden under the hoodie, her shoulders slowly relaxed.

“…Captain?”

“Yeah.”

The match had just ended, and to avoid being recognized by the lingering audience, Yu Linran used his hat to cover most of his face.

Ying Nian, however, was curious about how he managed to change his clothes so quickly. “Your clothes…”

“I changed right after the match,” he said. “Lin Shan is still being interviewed, so I came out first.”

Ying Nian was momentarily speechless. Yu Linran’s chin tilted slightly upward from the motion of raising his head, and he lowered his eyes to look at her through the uncovered space.

“Are you in a hurry to go home today?”

She shook her head blankly, “Uh, not really…”

He nodded slightly, “Hungry?”

“A little…”

“What do you want to eat tonight?”

Ying Nian only realized afterward, “Are you going to eat with me?”

After asking, her expression paused slightly. She felt uneasy. In the past, asking this wouldn’t have been a problem at all, but they hadn’t been in touch like they used to for quite some time.

Yu Linran noticed the change in her expression. Perhaps considering her feelings, he spoke more clearly than usual, saving her from having to guess.

“If I wasn’t going to eat with you, why would I come out?”

Ying Nian looked at him, and after a long moment, she lowered her head, and a stifled feeling rising in her throat.

“Let’s go.” Yu Linran started walking, but after taking two steps, the person beside him hadn’t followed. He stopped, looked back, and saw Ying Nian still standing where she was, her head lowered as before.

Yu Linran returned and stood in front of her. “What’s wrong?”

No sound. One second, two seconds, three seconds… her shoulders trembled slightly, and he finally heard it — she was crying, very softly, and sobbing quietly.

Yu Linran’s brows furrowed. He reached out and lifted her chin, but Ying Nian turned her head away, refusing to face him.

She cried, her face turned to the side, and streaks of tears running down her cheeks, which were now flushed bright red.

The next second, Ying Nian raised her hand, using the back of it to cover her face, sobbing as she spoke.

“Captain, do you… do you not want me to be your fan anymore…?”

“You haven’t… talked to me for so long… you don’t play games with me, you don’t chat with me… you’ve been ignoring me…”

“Do you… find me annoying…?”

All the emotions she had bottled up suddenly found an outlet, surging uncontrollably, rushing out all at once. She sobbed, gasping for air, and her tears blurring her vision to the point where she couldn’t even open her eyes.

This was the second time Ying Nian cried because of him.

The sky had not yet darkened. The surrounding shops and passing pedestrians were all there, but it felt as though everything had gone quiet. Besides her sobbing, no other sounds seemed to reach her ears.

Without a tissue, Yu Linran extended his hand and used his knuckle to wipe away her tears, his movements slow and meticulous, gently wiping the tears from beneath her eyes bit by bit.

The cool touch on her skin startled Ying Nian. Her wet eyelashes trembled as she looked at him in shock.

“This year, the competitions have been very busy,” Yu Linran said, meeting her gaze. After wiping one side, he moved to the other. “…But to be honest, being busy isn’t the main reason.”

Ying Nian listened in a daze.

His movements paused for a moment, then he continued, “I haven’t been very happy.”

She blinked, her damp eyelashes uncomfortable. “Unhappy… about what?”

“It feels like you don’t really want to see me.”

“…I don’t!”

“Not seeing each other for a long time doesn’t seem to matter much to you.”

“I…”

“You like me, but you also have other things and other people you like very much,” Yu Linran said as he slowly withdrew his hand that now wet with her tears. He looked at her and continued, “I’m not the one you like the most, and I’m not very happy about that.”

Ying Nian couldn’t quite process his words at first. After a few seconds, she stammered in explanation, “N-no! The way I like my friends is different from how I feel about you… this isn’t the same, and I didn’t not want to see you, I really wanted to come! But…”

But she had felt that he didn’t care.

Whether she came or not, it seemed like it didn’t matter to him. That was her feeling. A feeling that had made her deeply uncomfortable.

“So, I’ve thought a lot over the past several months,” Yu Linran didn’t respond to her words, as if he had long prepared himself for this, speaking slowly and steadily. “I realized that what I told you before — not to stop being my fan — isn’t enough.”

Ying Nian’s lips parted slightly, and her eyes staring straight at him.

Unlike his knuckles, Yu Linran’s fingertips were warm. He gently tapped her forehead twice.

“Not only can you not stop being my fan, but you’re also not allowed to switch to someone else. You need to keep your eyes on me more—”

It was as if a loud “boom” exploded in her ears. Ying Nian’s mind went completely blank, spinning in confusion, unable to process anything.

“Don’t just think of it as a fan and idol relationship,” Yu Linran said. “Starting today, let’s get to know each other as a man and a woman.”

…

As the two sat down in a booth at the restaurant and half of the dishes had been served, Ying Nian was still somewhat dazed.

Yu Linran glanced at her and squinted, “Are you so out of it that you’ve forgotten how to eat?”

Ying Nian abruptly raised her eyes to look at him. The next second, an unusual blush crept onto her face, and her gaze flickered nervously left and right. “I’m eating, I’m eating…”

She picked up her chopsticks and placed a slice of bamboo shoot into her bowl, her movements slow and awkward, like someone in a dazed state of confusion.

But you couldn’t blame her.

Who could have imagined it? Yu Linran actually told her that he had feelings for her.

And from that day on, they were no longer just fan and idol, no longer merely in a relationship of support and being supported. They were friends, and now, two people of the opposite sex, with the potential to develop further, getting to know and explore each other.

It felt like a dream, surreal, leaving her in a daze.

For the seventh time, Ying Nian asked, “Captain, what you just said… were you serious? Were you really serious?”

Yu Linran resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and nodded, “Yes, really.”

“You’re not lying to me?”

“Would I make money by lying to you?” Yu Linran retorted.

Ying Nian shrank her neck slightly, lowered her head, and finally ate the piece of bamboo shoot in her bowl. A smile unconsciously crept up the corner of her lips.

Hehe.

It really is true.

Ying Nian, like a little hamster, finished the bamboo shoot and glanced at him.

Yu Linran beat her to the punch, “Don’t ask again. If you do, you’ll have to eat at the table next to us.”

She pouted unhappily and muttered under her breath, “When you’re being interviewed, you’re all smiles, your eyes crinkling like a fox’s. But when you talk to me, you’re so fierce…”

The table wasn’t that big, so no matter how quietly she spoke, Yu Linran could still hear her. If it had been someone else, like Yi Shen or other teammates, Yu Linran would have already told them to stay three meters away from him. However, Ying Nian had just cried, and it had taken her a while to return to her usual self, daring to talk back, laugh, and banter. Yu Linran frowned slightly but had no choice but to tolerate it.

“You want to see me smile?” Yu Linran asked.

Ying Nian thought for a moment and then nodded.

He raised his eyebrow. “You eat, and I’ll smile for you.”

Ying Nian was half skeptical. She glanced at him, then at her bowl, and immediately focused her gaze back on his face. She hesitantly took a bite of her food, but her eyes never leaving him. Once she swallowed, he indeed lifted the corners of his mouth, giving her a faint smile.

Ying Nian’s eyes lit up, and she took another bite. Just as Yu Linran’s smile had relaxed, it curved up again.

Perhaps her tears had made her lose her mind a little. She was being quite silly, but she seemed to have found something amusing. She kept staring at Yu Linran, rhythmically moving her chopsticks in her bowl, not stopping.

Take a bite, he smiles; take another bite, he smiles again; and with each bite, he smiled once more…

Soon enough, her bowl was nearly empty.

Ying Nian quickly grabbed her cup and drank some water, taking a deep breath. “Almost choked!” She then looked at Yu Linran, proudly showing off, “I finished!”

Yu Linran observed her closely for two seconds. Now that there was no rice left in her bowl to keep the game going, the one-for-one exchange had come to an end.

He still smiled, the corners of his lips slightly lifted, carrying a hint of barely concealed amusement. His thin lips parted softly, “Idiot.”

…

When she returned to the hotel, it was already late at night, yet Ying Nian still couldn’t fall asleep. The more she thought about it, the more her mind replayed everything that had happened just a few hours ago, over and over again. And the more she did, the hotter her face felt.

— Yu Linran has feelings for her.

Even as she thought of those words, she found it hard to believe. Lost in a daze, it felt so extraordinary that she couldn’t quite put it into words.

Ying Nian stared at the ceiling for a long, long time before exhaling deeply. Unable to sleep, she eventually opened Weibo and posted a status that no one else could understand.

【Feet dangling in midair, body weightless, everything feels so unreal… I’m so scared that it’s just a dream.】

The comments below speculated about what had happened to her:

[Is something wrong with Yu Qu DaDa? Are you feeling unwell?]

[Are you in a bad mood?]

[Did you have a nightmare? Just adjust your sleeping position! Dreams aren’t real, don’t be scared!]

…

Normally, she would reply to the comments, but today she really didn’t have the energy to chat with these kind netizens. She just kept holding her phone, staring blankly.

She wasn’t sure if it had been five minutes or fifteen, but suddenly, her phone screen lit up.

Xiaoxiao had sent her a message: [Yu Shen(God Yu) posted on Weibo! Niannian, did you see it? By the way, are you feeling down?]

It wasn’t news when anyone from SF posted on Weibo, but Yu Linran, who rarely appeared online even a few times a year, always stirred up a flurry among fans whenever he posted something.

There was no helping it; his posts were so rare, which made them all the more precious.

Seeing Xiaoxiao’s message, Ying Nian didn’t rush to reply. Filled with curiosity and a mix of indescribable emotions, she opened Weibo. As soon as she refreshed the page, a notification popped up—Yu Linran had posted an update—since she had him set as a special follow.

After scrolling down, it didn’t take long to find his post.

This was only the second time Yu Linran had ever posted a personal status.

It was a photo of the moon. The picture wasn’t particularly beautiful, but it was rare for him to show any interest in posting. Even though it was just a simple and seemingly meaningless photo with text, his fans were still very excited.

Yu Linran’s caption read:

— 【Look up at the moon, it’s real.】