CHAPTER 17: KISS GOD

After finishing the dress fittings, Ruan Zhizhi accompanied Gu Nian back to the car. Gu Nian started the engine, holding the steering wheel, then paused before speaking.

“Zhizhi, if you’re free later, could you come with me to the bar on 1943 Street? I’m about to get married, but I don’t know why my heart feels so empty, like something’s missing. I just want someone to talk to.” She turned her head and looked at Ruan Zhizhi with a pitiful expression. “Please, Zhizhi. Besides you, I don’t have anyone else to share these feelings with. Just keep me company, okay?”

Gu Nian’s big eyes were watery and pleading, and even someone as unflappable as Ruan Zhizhi found herself yielding.

1943 was the most famous bar street in A City, filled with every type of bar imaginable: quiet lounges, rowdy clubs, even gay bars—perfect for thrill-seekers and those looking to drown their sorrows.

Kiss God was the bar where Ruan Zhizhi and Gu Nian had spent much of their time before.

Ruan Zhizhi paused at the entrance, looking up at the flickering, colorful neon sign. Squinting, she recalled the last time she’d been there, drunk out of her mind—it had been two years ago.

It seemed that over these two years, her feelings for Li Sicheng had truly faded with time.

Good.

Inside, the dance floor was packed, men and women teasing each other. On stage, women in high heels and long boots gyrated seductively, occasionally glancing down to tempt the crowd.

Ruan Zhizhi and Gu Nian chose a corner sofa as usual. Gu Nian called over a server and boldly ordered two large mugs of beer and a bottle of 58-proof whiskey.

“Zhizhi, tonight we get drunk or go home!”

Ruan Zhizhi watched her pour two full glasses of whiskey and said helplessly, “My ancestors… there isn’t a single man around us. If we finish all this alcohol tonight and lose our wits, what if someone kidnaps us? Even if not for my own safety, I have to consider how Cheng Fengjin might punish me afterward.”

Gu Nian waved her hand carelessly. “Honestly, when you mention Cheng Fengjin, I feel all conflicted… I love him, but I worry too.”

“Cheng Fengjin is handsome, successful, and completely devoted to you. What is there to worry about?”

Gu Nian lifted her head and downed a full glass of beer. “Zhizhi, actually, I’ve been keeping a secret from you,” she said, pouring herself another. “At first, the reason Cheng Fengjin chose to be with me—even though he’s such a perfect guy—was largely because I look a lot like his ex-girlfriend.”

The DJ’s music blared, but Ruan Zhizhi caught the crucial words.

Gu Nian… looked like Cheng Fengjin’s ex?

“It’s ironic and embarrassing. Forgive me, Zhizhi. I’ve always been proud, so I can’t bring myself to say these things. When I first met Cheng Fengjin, I liked him so much I tried every way to get close to him. Later, we got together, and I thought he liked me for who I am. Three months into our relationship, he got drunk in front of me for the first time… and, barely conscious, called out his ex-girlfriend’s name while telling me I look like her.”

The information hit her all at once, and Ruan Zhizhi froze for several seconds before responding. She pursed her lips and asked softly, “Afterwards… did he explain himself when he was sober?”

Gu Nian lowered her head, letting her long bangs fall over her eyes. “He said that at the very beginning, the reason he was with me was because I looked and acted a lot like his ex-girlfriend. But over time, as we got to know each other, he genuinely fell in love with me.” Her eyes suddenly lifted to meet Ruan Zhizhi’s, full of sincerity. “Zhizhi, I know Cheng Fengjin really loves me now, but does that mean the past hurt he caused me can just be ignored?”

“He loved me falsely at first, but I… I never did. From start to finish, I gave him all of my love.” Her voice trembled, and finally, tears began to fall. “Several times I’ve dreamed that his ex came back, that they reconciled, and still… there was no place for me.”

“Gu Nian…”

Seeing her friend in tears, Ruan Zhizhi panicked, fumbling for a tissue from her bag and handing it to her.

“Zhizhi,” Gu Nian sniffled, “what do you think I should do?”

Looking into her reddened eyes, Ruan Zhizhi’s chest tightened. She carefully adjusted Gu Nian’s smudged makeup before answering. “Gu Nian, you’re my only and best friend since childhood. So please believe me when I say everything I’m about to tell you is for your own good.” She paused, then continued, “Only by marrying Cheng Fengjin can you be happy. Besides love and responsibility, he also feels guilt toward you. That’s why he’ll treat you well for a lifetime, never betray you, never hurt you again. And… you love him too, don’t you?”

“At least now, you two love each other completely, and his love for you has nothing to do with anyone else.”

Perhaps from drinking too much just now, Gu Nian’s head began to feel dizzy. She leaned against Ruan Zhizhi’s shoulder, her speech thick with a nasal tone. “You’re right, Zhizhi. I know, I know you’re only saying this for me… and the wedding is coming. I really don’t want to leave him. If I left Cheng Fengjin… I would die…”

Her voice grew lower and lower, fading to nearly nothing.

Ruan Zhizhi lowered her head, looking at Gu Nian who had already fallen asleep on her shoulder, and sighed. “I told you not to drink so much, but you wouldn’t listen.”

But now… what was she supposed to do?

Gu Nian was asleep, and she had been drinking too—there was no way she could drive. She thought about calling Cheng Fengjin, then remembered that on the way to try the wedding dresses, Gu Nian had mentioned he would be working late at the office tonight.

So… should she call, or not?

Just as Ruan Zhizhi hesitated, a commotion came from the bar area.

Following the noise, she saw that the previously quiet bar was now packed, cordoned off by a dense crowd.

Through the throng, she spotted a man surrounded by people, casually glancing back.

Time seemed to freeze.

When their eyes met, Ruan Zhizhi felt a flicker of relief.

The man with those sharp, clear features stood up from the bar, walked through the crowd step by step, calm and elegant.

And he looked exactly the same.

Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help but admit it: Shi Yan really was her savior.

He always appeared at the exact moment she felt most helpless, and he always rescued her.

“Ruan Zhizhi, what are you doing here?” He stopped in front of her, his voice carrying a hint of sternness.

Ruan Zhizhi froze, thinking he must have misunderstood that a single girl came to a bar for excitement. She quickly pointed at Gu Nian, who had fallen asleep, and explained instinctively, “I came with Gu Nian to drink, and she got drunk… so now I don’t know how to get her home.”

She looked up at him pitifully.

Instantly, his gaze softened. Compared to everyone else, Ruan Zhizhi admitted, he was unusually patient with her.

Shi Yan glanced at Gu Nian, already fast asleep, then called a server and had the bill settled without hesitation.

Ruan Zhizhi hurried to protest, “You don’t need to pay, I have money.” She rummaged through her bag, but by the time she found her wallet, he had already signed the receipt in sweeping strokes.

Ruan Zhizhi: “…”

Shi Yan looked up indifferently. “What are you standing there for? Let’s go.”

He bent slightly, naturally taking her handbag in his hand. “I’ll hold your bag; you support Gu Nian. Any problem with that?”

Ruan Zhizhi nodded without thinking, then realized something felt off. Hesitant, she said, “Gu Nian is light, but if it’s just me, it’s still difficult to carry her all the way to the parking lot.”

Shi Yan sighed, squatting in front of her, a trace of helplessness in his eyes. “Ruan Zhizhi, I don’t want to tire you out either, but I have a mild fear of physical contact with the opposite sex, so…”

Fear of physical contact with women?

Ruan Zhizhi froze, thinking back. Indeed, she had never seen Shi Yan actively touch other girls—but then again, he had previously approached her willingly and even made some intimate gestures.

She couldn’t help but look up at him. The two of them were so close she could hear his breathing.

She sat on the sofa, and he squatted in front of her, still half a head taller.

The bar lights flickered, the music thumped deafeningly, and the air was thick with lust and desire. Yet in that instant, she heard nothing, and all that remained was his silhouette: calm, with a trace of warmth, looking at her steadily.

His eyes were ink-black and bottomless, yet a faint mist rose from them, making his gaze unbearably tender in that moment.

Even though this fleeting tenderness felt almost like an illusion, at this very moment, she suddenly wanted to sink into his gaze. To feel nothing else, and just rest in him completely.

As if bewitched, Ruan Zhizhi parted her lips and, almost uncontrollably, spoke: “Shi Yan—”

The man, who was about to move, froze.

Snapping back to reality, she shook her head vigorously and cleared her throat. “Ah, I meant… thank you for helping me again and again. I really shouldn’t trouble you so much.”

Damn it. For a brief moment, she had actually been tempted to ask him… if he liked her.

Ruan Zhizhi, you’ve been feeling way too good about yourself lately, letting your mind wander to thinking Shi Yan might have feelings for you.

Shi Yan smiled casually. “Ruan Zhizhi, I only hope that next time you run into trouble, you’ll contact me first.”

Not like now, where you only reach out by coincidence.

I want to be the first person you think of when you’re in trouble.

I want to prove that I can solve every little problem in your life.

“Uh… but I’m afraid I’d bother you, since we’re not that close,” Ruan Zhizhi replied, struggling to lift Gu Nian from the sofa at the same time.

Luckily, Gu Nian, though dazed, cooperated enough to let herself be helped up. Ruan Zhizhi draped one of her friend’s arms over her shoulder and helped her stand—much easier than she had anticipated.

Shi Yan held her cartoon handbag, twirling the pink fuzzy ball on it absentmindedly between his fingers. “I don’t know why, but when I can’t see you, every day feels so dull.”