CHAPTER 20: THE ONE WHO IS FAVORED

If one day, the person you had once loved deeply stands before you with someone who has always treated you kindly, how would you choose?

Time seemed to stop at that moment, the clamor of the wedding hall fading into silence.

Ruan Zhizhi had never imagined that Li Sicheng would return to A City, nor that one day he would stand opposite Shi Yan, both waiting for her to make a choice.

No one had ever told her how to act in such a situation.

At that moment, Li Sicheng’s gaze flicked toward Shi Yan, and he spoke again: “Zhizhi… how do you know Shi Yan?”

Ruan Zhizhi froze. She opened her mouth but didn’t know where to start. After a long pause, she replied stiffly: “We met… by chance on a trip.” She raised her head to look at Li Sicheng, noticing a trace of hostility in his eyes as they glanced at Shi Yan.

Li Sicheng lowered his head for a moment, then slowly stepped closer, reaching out to tug lightly at her sleeve, his touch gentle and cautious.

Ruan Zhizhi’s body trembled uncontrollably. The memories she thought had long withered and faded surged back vividly with that small gesture, frame by frame, overwhelming her.

Whenever he needed something from her before, his favorite thing had been to tug at her sleeve like this—a small, intimate gesture, not overstepping boundaries, yet enough to make her heart race. It had always made her feel special, separate from everyone else.

It turned out that when you truly love someone, no matter how long it’s been, seeing them again will make you nervous, flustered, and fearful.

“Zhizhi… let me take you to your favorite beef noodles, alright?” His tone was full of pleading. That gentle tug at her sleeve was irresistible.

Ruan Zhizhi didn’t remember how she left the hotel lobby with Li Sicheng. All she remembered was glancing back at Shi Yan.

From start to finish, he had remained there, silent.

And now, he still stood alone, eyes cast slightly downward, his expression unreadable, yet his entire being radiated loneliness.

He didn’t seem particularly upset, as if this outcome was expected in his heart.

He seemed used to being abandoned.

Ruan Zhizhi suddenly felt a pang of regret.

….

Li Sicheng took her to the same noodle shop she had once visited with Shi Yan.

She remembered that time—at the counter, she had seen a figure resembling Li Sicheng flash past. Perhaps it hadn’t been her imagination.

She sat down with him, dazed, and watched as the owner placed two steaming bowls of beef noodles on the table. Her mind wavered for a brief moment.

Li Sicheng handed her a pair of chopsticks, eyes soft, full of a liquid warmth: “Zhizhi… eat quickly, the noodles will get cold otherwise.”

Ruan Zhizhi lowered her head. Steam curled from the bowls, and she blinked, a strange unease stirring in her heart.

Shi Yan… even knew her small habits, like disliking cilantro.

Li Sicheng also picked up his chopsticks, seemingly unfazed by her distraction. He raised his head, studying her expression before speaking thoughtfully: “Zhizhi, ever since you returned to China, I’ve thought of you every single day.”

“The things that happened at my birthday party… I’m really sorry. Back then I thought I only considered you a friend, a buddy. But after you left, I realized I was wrong.” Li Sicheng spoke on, eyes drifting as if lost in memories. “Zhizhi… after you left, no other girl could chat with me late into the night. No one made me want to see them all the time. And no one… ever treated me wholeheartedly like you did.”

As he spoke, his eyes glistened faintly with tears: “I realized I can’t live without you—not for a second, not for a moment.”

The crowd around them was noisy, but every word he spoke struck her heart like a thousand fine needles, piercing clearly, unmistakably.

Ruan Zhizhi felt her hand holding the chopsticks tremble. Her mind was completely frozen. She didn’t even know what expression to wear in front of him.

For three years, she had dreamed almost every night of the day Li Sicheng would regret and return to her—how she would be moved, surprised, and how she would happily agree to him.

But now that day had truly come, and yet she didn’t know what to do.

Perhaps she should agree with Li Sicheng, if only to bring closure to the four years of secret longing she had hidden.

But she hesitated.

“Zhizhi, can’t you give me one more chance? I swear, I will be wholly devoted to you. I’ll make up for everything I owe you from these past years. I won’t let you suffer another bit of grievance.” Li Sicheng saw the hesitation in her eyes. Biting his lip, he spoke urgently again, reaching out to gently grasp her hand resting on the table.

His hand was as warm as she remembered. Unlike Shi Yan, whose hands were always cold despite the heat of his palm, Li Sicheng’s warmth radiated fully.

Ruan Zhizhi stood there, stunned for a long moment before finally coming back to herself. She raised her eyes to meet his, and without thinking, instinctively said: “I… I’m not ready to think about love right now.”

What had she just said?

She had just rejected Li Sicheng—the only man she had ever truly liked, the one she had poured four years of youthful passion into, forsaking pride like a moth to a flame.

Li Sicheng’s eyes dimmed immediately. His grip on her hand tightened slightly as he stared at her without blinking, as if trying to determine whether her refusal was sincere, or just a girl’s momentary coyness before accepting a confession.

After a long pause, he finally let go, sighing helplessly: “It’s alright, Zhizhi. I’ll wait for you… always wait for you, just as you waited for me.”

After the meal, Ruan Zhizhi politely declined Li Sicheng’s invitation to watch a movie together, insisting on taking a taxi home alone.

Back at her apartment, she switched on the ceiling light. The room still looked empty, cold, devoid of any sign of life.

Though she appeared independent and strong, in reality, Ruan Zhizhi was terrible at taking care of herself. She had never learned to cook, and at home, the most she would manage was instant noodles. Her work schedule was erratic, her biological clock off-kilter, her lifestyle unhealthy.

Before, she thought it didn’t matter—living alone meant freedom. But now, sitting on the wide sofa, she suddenly felt a twinge of loneliness.

She actually wanted someone to be there.

Shi Yan must be angry.

They had agreed to have a meal together—don’t leave without me—but she had rejected him and walked away with someone else. Even she felt it was unforgivable.

Shi Yan, so proud and aloof, would probably never speak to her again.

But… deep down, she really didn’t want to lose Shi Yan as a friend.

Just then, her phone rang. It was Gu Nian. Ruan Zhizhi was in the kitchen, lost in thought, making instant noodles. She swiped the green call button, and the other side was loud and bustling. Gu Nian’s hurried voice came through: “Zhizhi, I heard you went out to eat with Li Sicheng today. So? How did it go? Any progress?”

Ruan Zhizhi rolled her eyes: “What progress could there possibly be between us?”

“Huh… impossible! I heard from Fengjin that Li Sicheng gave up a high-paying overseas job, had a falling out with his family, all to come back for you. Fengjin said this time he really knows he was wrong, knows he can’t live without you. And she told me to urge you to give him another chance.”

“Ding dong”—the kettle clicked, signaling the water was ready.

Ruan Zhizhi held the phone in one hand while carefully pouring the scalding water into the noodle cup with the other. Her actions were meticulous, but her mind was a mess.

“But… I’m not calling to play matchmaker for Li Sicheng,” Gu Nian said. There was someone calling her in the background, and Ruan Zhizhi heard her respond briefly, then Gu Nian continued: “Zhizhi, I’m heading home with Fengjin soon. Today’s my one-and-only wedding night—if it weren’t important, I wouldn’t be calling you now.”

Ruan Zhizhi smiled faintly, found a bowl to cover the noodle cup, and casually said: “Go ahead, my lady. What is it this time?”

“It’s nothing much. I just think… maybe you should consider Shi Yan. He’s far better than Li Sicheng, and treats you so much better.” Gu Nian paused, then added thoughtfully: “Back in college, we always ran into Shi Yan wherever we went. I didn’t think much of it at the time, just coincidence. But now… how could anything in this world be mere coincidence? If one side isn’t making an effort, even two people in the same city would hardly ever meet.”

She hurriedly finished speaking and quickly hung up, leaving Ruan Zhizhi alone in the kitchen, staring blankly.

Her point was… Shi Yan had been deliberately creating opportunities to meet her?

With his cold, reserved personality… that seemed unlikely.

Late at night, Ruan Zhizhi carried her cup of noodles, too lazy to turn on the light, and fumbled to open her laptop in the dark bedroom.

She tilted her head, thinking, and then searched on Douban: “What should you do if the person you once secretly loved comes back to find you?”

Many people had answered, each with a different opinion:

“Don’t be foolish. If he really liked you back then, he would have confessed. Your secret crush would have been noticed. Now he’s suddenly seeking you out because he has no one suitable nearby and remembers your kindness—he just thinks you’re the easiest to get.”

“Of course say yes! There’s a saying: it’s not about forever, but about having once. Even if it’s just a fleeting moment with him, I’d be satisfied.”

“The moment he rejected me, he lost me forever.”

…

Ruan Zhizhi skimmed through the comments one by one, and gradually, a wave of drowsiness crept over her—until she saw one particular response.

“The unattainable always stirs restlessness; the favored act without fear.”

So, Ruan Zhizhi… was she truly the unattainable one, or… the one who was favored?