Chapter 40: The Eve of the College Entrance Exam

This time, Ji Yuan’s search was destined to be fruitless. He scoured the entire Sujia Village but found no trace of a man named Su Dazhuang, returning empty-handed and disheartened.

Gu Xichao noticed that Su Nianmei had changed lately. It was as if another person inhabited her body—someone whose life revolved solely around studying, as though she wished to immerse herself entirely in her books.

Gu Xichao thought this change was likely due to the upcoming college entrance exam, with Su Nianmei’s nerves getting the best of her.

Yet, the love of youth often came like crashing waves—overwhelming and intense. But Su Nianmei, in contrast, seemed prematurely mature, carrying the soul of a twenty-eight-year-old in an eighteen-year-old’s body.

A young girl’s feelings could be fierce, yet her retreat from them could be just as abrupt.

When the surging tide of emotions ebbed, what was left exposed was the stark, clear reality. Ahead, the path lay shrouded in darkness, yet beneath her feet, there was a brightness—a brightness that, at times, dazzled painfully.

She could not deny the fact that Gu Xichao had once loved someone else.

When she liked him, she believed she loved only him. Yet, in those moments of affection, her thoughts encompassed his entire world.

She would be overjoyed, anxious, and even melancholic.

Gu Xichao had once liked—perhaps even loved—another woman.

He had been with her, cooked for her, cared for her. They had held hands, kissed, shared all the intimate things that couples do, and even had a child together.

Every time these thoughts crossed her mind, a seed of jealousy took root and grew within her heart, an itch she could not scratch, a constant source of irritation.

Yet, she did not dare question Gu Xichao about it.

She feared that it would strain their relationship, feared that the old flames might rekindle, and feared, most of all, that her life was merely a dream. If she awoke, she would return to being that pitiful Su Nianmei of her previous life.

Thus, she chose to say nothing.

She wanted to make herself worthy of standing beside Gu Xichao. She wanted to be strong enough to stand by his side, unafraid.

She traced the timeline carefully: this time, Gu Baiting was in the capital to secure a partnership, a partnership that would shape his business trajectory. However, Gu Baiting was facing financial issues. Perhaps in his past life, he had been too proud to ask for Gu Xichao’s help, or perhaps he hadn’t thought much of this opportunity, resulting in a missed chance.

Now, her task was to invest in Gu Baiting so he could realize his ambitions—whether as a life-saving gesture or a boost to his success.

She wanted Gu Xichao to recognize her worth, for his family to appreciate her, and, gradually, for Gu Xichao to become unable to live without her.

She felt as if she were a spirit weaving a web in a hidden cave, waiting with bated breath for Gu Xichao to step right into it.

—o—o—o—

As the days passed, the weather warmed. Around February and March, Su Nianmei moved into the school dormitory to prepare for the final push of exam review. Gu Xichao was swamped with work and rarely home, while Gu’s parents had moved to the capital to care for Gu Xiaobao.

In June, when the sun baked the earth, Gu Xichao finally saw Su Nianmei again.

Indeed, he had been intentionally avoiding Su Nianmei.

As time went by and his feelings deepened, so did the intertwined emotions of love, desire, and possessiveness. Simple romance no longer satisfied him; he craved something deeper. He wanted to claim her entirely, to make her solely his own—someone irreplaceable and unique.

From desire to love, and from love to desire again.

But he couldn’t. All he could do was immerse himself in training, forcing himself not to think of Su Nianmei.

He was afraid that if he thought of her, his heart would stir uncontrollably. He feared that, in a moment of weakness, he might do something he’d regret and ruin her future in the process.

He had to see farther than Su Nianmei, and he had to consider more than just his own desires.

So when Su Nianmei mentioned moving into the dormitory, he didn’t stop her. In fact, he felt a touch of relief, as if someone drowning in the waves of love and desire had finally come up for air, breathing a sigh of respite.

But the moment he saw Su Nianmei, he knew that all the mental barriers he had built over the past few months had crumbled in an instant. She had become even more heart-stirring than he’d imagined. Just one glance from her had the power to strip away his armor.

Su Nianmei wore a simple blue T-shirt, her bare, delicate arm glistening in the sunlight as she waved at him. A large stack of books was cradled in her arms, and her ear-length hair swayed slightly with her movement in the breeze.

The scent of the young girl seemed to drift along with the wind, making its way to the core of his heart, sweet enough to linger in his throat, causing an involuntary movement in his Adam’s apple.

In that moment, he felt as though the scorching sun wasn’t just baking the earth but was setting fire to his heart, exposing his naked desires under its searing rays—a blend of pain and burning intensity that consumed him completely.

“Why did you decide to cut your hair short?” Gu Xichao asked as he took the hefty stack of books from her, his gaze fixed on Su Nianmei’s hair, soft and delicate.

“Washing it was too much of a hassle. Cutting it short makes things easier.” Su Nianmei brushed the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes behind her ear, but a gust of wind promptly sent it back.

Holding the books in one arm, Gu Xichao reached out with his other hand, gently tucking the strand of hair back into place and taking the opportunity to feel the top of her head. It was much softer than he’d imagined.

Realizing something suddenly, he discreetly stepped half a pace away, putting a bit of distance between them.

What he didn’t notice was the light dimming in Su Nianmei’s once-bright eyes.

On the way home, Su Nianmei held a book in her hands, her gaze fixed on the words, yet she hadn’t absorbed a single line of text.

She abruptly lowered the book, beginning to reassess her feelings for Gu Xichao.

From the moment she’d met Gu Xichao, he had entered her life in the role of a husband, from start to finish. He was never overly familiar, nor was he distant.

His love was gentle and enduring, without grand gestures—plain, even. It was as if he loved her for the simple fact of her being his wife, and regardless of who that person was, he would have loved them all the same.

But then again, that was precisely who Gu Xichao was: honest, responsible, carrying a natural warmth about him.

It was exactly this version of Gu Xichao that Su Nianmei loved.

Conflicted and tangled in her thoughts.

Gu Xichao turned to look at her, and Su Nianmei offered him a gentle smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

At the door, Gu Xiaobao was already waiting eagerly, and the moment he saw Su Nianmei, he ran over and threw himself at her.

Su Nianmei scooped him up. The little boy had grown taller recently like a sprout shooting up. He was almost reaching her waist now, and the baby fat on his limbs was beginning to melt away, his arms and legs growing slender. His almond-shaped eyes sparkled with a mischievous brightness.

“Mom,” Gu Xiaobao called out. His voice, which had slowly transitioned from a baby’s soft coo to a clear, bright tone, filled her heart with warmth at the sound.

“Why didn’t you go to school today?” Su Nianmei asked.

Walking ahead, Gu Xichao pushed open the front door and replied, “Your exam is tomorrow, and the family didn’t want to be distracted by taking Xiaobao to and from school. So we gave him two days off.”

The unspoken meaning was clear—he wanted to focus entirely on taking care of her.

Su Nianmei then asked, “And you?”

Turning to look directly into her eyes, Gu Xichao said, “Don’t worry. I’ve taken time off and will be here with you the whole time.”

Su Nianmei suddenly felt the urge to smile, though she couldn’t quite understand why.

As soon as they stepped inside, Jin Chunfen came out, grasping Su Nianmei’s hand and giving her arm a squeeze. “This girl has lost weight. Look how hard she’s been studying—it’s worn her down.”

Gu Xichao entered after putting the books away, looking over at Su Nianmei. She had indeed grown thinner; the slight roundness in her cheeks was gone, leaving her with a sharp, delicate chin that made her appear as if a gust of wind could topple her.

At the dinner table, Jin Chunfen kept serving Su Nianmei food while Old Sixth Gu beamed with pride, talking excitedly about how the Gu family would finally have a college student.

Su Nianmei, however, ate quietly, hardly touching her food, and soon murmured that she felt dizzy and wanted to lie down in her room.

Gu Xichao offered to accompany her, but she said, “No need. It’s probably just the stress lately; I’ll be fine after a short rest.”

Lying in bed, her mind felt hazy, drifting in and out.

As expected, Gu Xichao didn’t come in to check on her.

Around seven or eight in the evening, the sky was still light. The sun’s rays filtered through the blue curtains, casting an ethereal, dreamlike glow across the room.

She raised her hand to shield her eyes, resting it on her forehead, feeling the coolness of her skin.

It was like a blazing fire doused with ice water, making her shiver from head to toe.

Pulling a blanket over herself, Su Nianmei shivered slightly, feeling a sudden chill.

She thought to herself, *Just go to sleep… maybe once the exams are over, all these troubling thoughts will simply resolve themselves.*

In her daze, she began to look forward to tomorrow, a hazy, uncertain future cloaked in mist.

Half-asleep, she felt a pair of hands press lightly on her forehead before drawing back, only to reach out again and touch her neck.

The coolness of the touch felt soothing on her skin, bringing her a sense of calm and safety.

She wanted to grab hold of that hand, but her whole body felt limp, unable to summon any strength.

Gu Xichao entered the room with a cup of honey water and immediately sensed something was wrong.

In the dim light, Su Nianmei lay quietly on the bed, unmoving.

He sat down beside her and touched her forehead.

It was warm—she had a fever.

Growing anxious, he gently lifted her up, shielding her eyes with his hand as he reached over to switch on the light.

“Sweetheart, get up and drink some water.”

In her confusion, Su Nianmei thought she heard Gu Xichao’s voice.

It was soft and gentle, like the voice of a trickster, someone who’d come to deceive her.

In her blurry vision, she thought she saw Gu Xichao again. She scoffed at herself, amused that she could still see him—even in her dreams.

But the sensation of Gu Xichao’s presence only grew stronger.

No, it felt even more vivid, as if he’d become a touch more handsome, his almond-shaped eyes filled with worry as he looked at her. His strong features had a softness that radiated warmth.

For a moment, Su Nianmei felt ashamed of herself. Just a while ago, Gu Xichao had seemed so distant, and now here she was, thinking about his tenderness again.

Yet a part of her refused to let this go—she was Gu Xichao’s rightful wife. She deserved this warmth, this affection.

Whether by emotion or by duty, she was worthy.

Su Nianmei raised her hand to brush away whatever was covering her eyes.

Under the soft yellow light, Gu Xichao’s expression was gentle. He held a cup in one hand, his other arm wrapped partially around her, supporting her as he helped her sit up.

His lips, soft and glistening with moisture, made her heart race.

She thought: ‘After all, this is just a dream… whatever happens, only I’ll know.’

Finding an unexpected surge of strength, she leaned in and kissed him.

Her lips met his.

A wave of warmth spread out. With a loud “clank,” the cup slipped from his hand, hitting the ground with a sharp crack. Honey water spilt across the floor, pooling around them.