1. Could you be…not into it?

1.

The alarm clock rang, and I reached for the phone on the bedside table.

I turned it off and subconsciously glanced at the time.

It was three thirty in the afternoon, still over two hours left before I meet with Dr. Wei.

I had plenty of time.

Dr. Wei is the person I’m going on a blind date with tonight.

To be precise, it’s a real-life meeting after chatting online.

His full name is Wei Nanlin, a doctor at a private hospital. The name sounds nice, but I have no idea what he looks like. The picture my mom provided was from his middle school graduation photo…

On the shorter side, buzz cut, slender and tiny. He squatted in the front row, probably due to the glaring sunlight. He became the only one in the class who closed his eyes while taking the photo.

A bit awkward-looking, but I shouldn’t judge a person by their appearance. What if he has a kind heart and an interesting personality that clicks with mine? Or, what if his genes suddenly mutate and he becomes tall, handsome, and stylish?

The chances of winning the lottery might be slim, but they’re not impossible!

Just hypothetically speaking, even if none of that happens, at the very least, he’s studying medicine. If someone at home catches a cold, coughs, gets a fever, feels chest tightness, shortness of breath, or high blood pressure, we could just call him! Imagine the money we’d save, hehe.

“Chu Qi! You lazy child! Are you going to get up or not? Look at the time! Do you see what time it is?” Mom pushed open the bedroom door, exasperated, and tossed a suit and a shirt at me.

“Look at the time! You skipped breakfast and lunch! Are you trying to become a hermit?” She kicked my leg, “Hurry up! I’ve ironed your clothes for you. Get up, wash your face, and help me make some dumplings.”

My mom’s going through menopause lately, so she’s a bit irritable. Even though she complains and scolds me all day, saying I’m a nuisance at home, deep down she loves me.

Take a few years ago, for example, when I came out. Amidst all the voices saying, “Oh, this child’s thinking is abnormal,” “How can men date men?” “Is he trying to avoid marriage by making excuses?” my mom stepped up and said indignantly, “Son, no matter what your choice is, Mom supports you. I just hope that in the future, you’ll be happy.”

I cried back then.

I smeared snot and tears all over her newly bought cheongsam.

But my dad was the first one to disagree, “Are you trying to end the family lineage, the ‘Chu’ surname is already rare! Do you have no sense of filial duty to spread the ‘Chu’ family name? I raised you for nothing!”

I was angry at the time too, “You don’t love me at all! You only had me to increase the ‘Chu’ surname!”

My dad, standing alone, naturally couldn’t win against me and my mom. Later on, he didn’t bother me much.

I first realized that my sexual orientation was different from those around me during my ninth year of school. I was at a friend’s house playing games. When I got tired, he showed me something, male-female love, the classic, with explicit content.

I remember it was hot then. We were holed up in the room, the fan blowing loudly. My friend suddenly covered his crotch with a blanket while watching.

Later, he asked me, “Why aren’t you reacting?”

I retorted, “React to what?”

His surprise shot from his pupils, “Could you be… not into it?”

After going home that day, I thought I might not be okay. I got scared and quickly searched online for videos. But for some reason, I wasn’t very interested in hearing women climaxing. Instead, I found watching men’s smooth muscles, hearing their cheerful moans, quite intriguing.

After clicking on a video of same-sex encounters, I understood. I was really not into it.

2.

During university, I wanted to date, but I didn’t come across any interesting souls. I thought I’d wait until after graduation to look, but I found my social circle shrinking even more after work.

I once tried looking for true love on forums and social apps, only to discover that over ninety percent of the encounters on those apps were looking for casual flings.

I couldn’t quite accept that.

Remaining single for a long time can become a habit. Gradually, like my colleagues who loudly proclaim they won’t marry, I also didn’t want to change my current life status.

Instead, it’s my mom who’s started worrying for me. Even when she’s playing mahjong or dancing in the square, she won’t forget to mention it.

My mom is a teacher at a local university, which puts her in touch with quite a few open-minded friends. I believe these middle-aged people would exchange experiences privately, including online dating.

She’s been asking around at various marriage agencies and even registered as a VIP member on several dating websites, using my identity to chat with people. She was like trying to find a needle in the ocean, but she fished out this serious doctor—Wei Nanlin—for me.

In truth, whether he’s a serious person or not, I’m not really sure. It’s just that my mom says all doctors are good people.

But I think the fundamental reason she thinks this way is that it can save money.

Disclaimer: I’m a MTLer. What does that mean? It means that the level of accuracy in this story is not at par with original language. I won’t be able to capture the nuances or artistic flare the author may have. As a result the output will end up being robotic and at times awkward. I also miss some minor discrepancies like pronouns and such, so if in the course of reading you find any mistakes, kindly inform me in the comments and I’ll fix it. It’s not only limited to pronouns but other things like sentence structure and flow. I’m not a native English speaking or language major so any feedback would be much appreciated.