Chapter 20: I want you to tell me, please open it

The sound of the closing door was neither light nor heavy; the phrase seemed casual, but it landed heavily on Su Lixu’s heart along with the closing door.

Watching Fu Xingran approach with a smile on his face, a dangerous aura surrounded him, his hand entwined with the belt pulled from the bathrobe.

What is like sitting on pins and needles, what is keeping a close watch like a tiger.

Behind him were walls adorned with photos and portraits, and in front was Fu Xingran, whose emotions were unclear, as if surrounded on all sides.

For a moment, Su Lixu regretted the words he had just spoken, but he also felt he couldn’t compromise.

Having said what needed to be said and made his stance clear, this guy shouldn’t force him, right?

So, what to do now?

Can he win in a fight?

After assessing Fu Xingran’s tall figure, he silently averted his gaze.

… Can’t win.

“Why lower your head? I’m not going to eat you.”

As Su Lixu lowered his head, his chin was grabbed and lifted up. His gaze met Fu Xingran’s, and a familiar scent of shower gel wafted through the air. His eyes shimmered slightly…. Could this guy have bought the same shower gel as him?

Fu Xingran leaned slightly, one hand supporting the chair next to Su Lixu, the other holding his chin, making him look at himself. His inky eyes stared at Su Lixu, who pretended to be calm but was actually flustered, and he smiled.

“So, scared now? You left me, a patient, and just walked away. Why weren’t you scared then?”

Su Lixu raised his hand to push away Fu Xingran’s hand, but in that moment of raising his hand, Fu Xingran grabbed it. It felt as if every thought had been exposed; his hand was pressed against his own chest, attempting to shake it off, but the fingers were tightly interlocked, forcing a shorter distance.

He met Fu Xingran’s gaze with embarrassment and anger, only to find a teasing look in his eyes.

The difference in size made Fu Xingran’s leaning down imposing, especially with those broad shoulders and long arms casually resting on the back of the chair, creating an inescapable dominance.

This chair seemed to become more and more intense to sit in.

Su Lixu desperately adjusted his breathing, trying to stay calm. He needed to be rational now; he had to find a way to get out of this situation with Fu Xingran without letting emotions take over.

He must reverse the situation; he couldn’t let Fu Xingran lead him.

Since Mr. Fu didn’t say, he had to. He didn’t want to be misunderstood.

“Actually, the incident four years ago—”

Before he could finish his sentence, his hands were entangled by the bathrobe. He stared in disbelief at Fu Xingran, trying to break free, but Fu Xingran held his knees.

“Fu Xingran!!!”

Almost panicked, his reprimand trembled. Fu Xingran met Su Lixu’s gaze of embarrassment and anger. The light amber eyes displayed a bewildered expression, adding a vividness not seen in his usually gentle face.

Turns out, Su Lixu’s anger could be this attractive.

He chuckled, tying the bathrobe like a ribbon, forming a bow on Su Lixu’s wrist. “Brother, how about you be mine? Then I’ll forgive you.”

His tone was gently asking, but the grip on the knees was inescapable.

Su Lixu’s thin lips trembled with anger, unable to move his legs or free his hands. Leaning against the chair, he stared cautiously at Fu Xingran. “This is a lawful society; don’t act recklessly.”

He had followed rules for almost thirty years, never encountering such a situation.

Unfortunately, he stumbled into the wolf’s den, wearing an apron and without his phone.

A lost sheep.

“I’m not acting recklessly; I’m serious.” Fu Xingran admired the bow he tied, glanced at Su Lixu, and expressed satisfaction with his gift. “Really beautiful.”

The laughter made Su Lixu’s lower back tingle. He licked his dry lips, organizing his thoughts to change tactics. “Xingran, there was a misunderstanding four years ago. Let me explain.”

He couldn’t confront Fu Xingran head-on; that would only excite him more. So, he chose a strategic retreat.

“Misunderstanding?” Fu Xingran casually responded, “Doesn’t matter.”

Su Lixu: “What?” Doesn’t matter? Doesn’t matter and still so intimidating!

“I didn’t reveal my secret to retaliate against you; I told you because I like you. Whether intentional or a misunderstanding, it only makes me like you more. I don’t want to let you go; I want to give you a little punishment.” Fu Xingran released Su Lixu’s knees, stood up, and placed his hands on Su Lixu’s shoulders. He leaned in close to his ear, saying, “Do you know why I like you so much? Look at the date on the painting.”

Su Lixu felt uneasy with Fu Xingran’s warm breath near his ear. He turned his head away but was held by Fu Xingran, who cupped his cheeks, preventing him from moving. “Don’t hide from me, be obedient, or I’ll unwrap the gift.”

Su Lixu silently shifted his gaze to the painting on the wall, choosing not to avoid the situation for the time being. He focused on calming his breathing.

“See it?” Fu Xingran asked.

“I didn’t see it,” Su Lixu replied truthfully.

Fu Xingran sensed the displeasure in Su Lixu’s tone, unexpectedly pleased that this man also had a temper. He patiently continued, “In the bottom right corner of the painting is September 22. That’s the origin of 922 Perfume, the day I first met you.”

Su Lixu’s expression changed; he was sensitive to this date because it was the day Su Liyang left. But it shouldn’t be the day he and Fu Xingran first met, according to his memory.

“That day, I stood on the rooftop restaurant of the Mo Tian Group, contemplating suicide. You saved me. I was fourteen that year, desperate to die, but you pulled me back.”

Su Lixu seemed to recall something; he turned his head, looking astonished at Fu Xingran. “Are you that boy?”

Impossible.

Back then, Su Liyang chose to end his life in front of him, a pain he could never forget. He hadn’t protected his brother properly. After leaving the hospital, he had many thoughts, even contemplating whether he should be alive.

But when he reached the twentieth floor, he saw a young boy unsteadily climbing the railing. Without hesitation, he rushed over and grabbed the boy.

He held onto the boy with all his strength, as if clutching at his last straw.

“You ran towards me in a white sweater, forcefully holding onto me, scolding me not to let go. I thought I was dead for a moment. How else could I encounter such a good-looking person? Surely, I ascended to heaven. But you told me not to let go, you wanted to pull me up, and you did.”

Su Lixu’s eyes flickered, lowering his gaze to suppress his disbelief. How could something so coincidental happen? Fu Xingran turned out to be the boy he had unintentionally saved back then, the incident that left a scar on his waist.

For Su Lixu, September 22 was the day Su Liyang departed.

For Fu Xingran, September 22 was the day of rebirth.

For him…

It was also a rebirth.

Fu Xingran gripped Su Lixu’s shoulders, his eyes reflecting his deepest thoughts. “You’re the one who let me survive, who caught me. You were the first to appear in my world; how could I let you go? Three years later, on September 26, I encountered you in the hospital. You didn’t recognize me, but I remembered you. So, 922 is the day I first met you, and 926 is the day I encountered you again. Isn’t it marvelous? You saved me once and saved me again.”

Su Lixu remained silent, his emotions now matching Fu Xingran’s.

Six years ago, he held Fu Xingran on the rooftop, preventing him from jumping. Four years ago, he became Fu Xingran’s attending physician at the psychiatric hospital. Now, four years later, he stood in front of Fu Xingran.What kind of coincidence was this?

“The first time, I didn’t get a chance to see you again. The second time at the hospital, I didn’t get a chance to keep you. This time, I don’t want to miss you again.” Fu Xingran tightened his grip on Su Lixu’s shoulders. “I really can’t wait anymore. I’m afraid someone will take you away, afraid I won’t make it in time. Look at me, please? Just look at me, okay?”

His almost pleading words carried an indescribable sense of vulnerability and fear. Yet, the strength in holding the shoulders was unyielding.

So, this was the reason why Fu Xingran constantly sought to be close to him?

Su Lixu’s peripheral vision caught a glimpse of the left hand gripping his shoulder. He vaguely recalled that Fu Xingran usually wore a watch. However, at this moment, the position on his left hand where the watch would usually be was exposed, revealing distinct, varying scars. His pupils contracted.

His thoughts drifted away with these scars.

“Brother, it doesn’t hurt. I just want to make sure I’m still alive.”

“Brother, I can’t control myself, and you can’t be with me every day. I’m scared.”

“Brother, I’m tired. I want to die.”

Why did he tolerate Fu Xingran’s proximity?

Perhaps all these coincidences began on the day Su Liyang left when he saved Fu Xingran.

The teenager, also suffering from borderline personality disorder, finds solace in his dependence, inadvertently connecting it to Su Liyang and his regret of not keeping his younger brother. He acknowledges Su Liyang as himself and understands his own limitations, but the lingering regret in his heart continues to influence him, even affecting his indulgence towards Fu Xingran.

Initially expecting retaliation from Fu Xingran, he ends up allowing his proximity and coaxing. The current situation, a result of his confusion, leaves everyone powerless except him.

If he were firmer in his approach towards Fu Xingran now, unimaginable things might happen.

Su Lixu lifts his eyes, presenting his hands constrained by a bathrobe to Fu Xingran, softly murmuring, “Xingran, my hands hurt.”

Testing if this approach softens Fu Xingran.

Seated, Fu Xingran’s eyelashes tremble as he lightly responds, “Brother, are you trying to be cute with me?”

“Too tight, can you loosen it for me?” Su Lixu looks at Fu Xingran.

Fu Xingran laughs, perceiving Su Lixu’s intentions, “Do you want me to let you go? Coaxing won’t work.”

Su Lixu: “…”

“You can try a different method.” Fu Xingran seriously suggests, “Like seducing me, maybe I’ll soften and let you go.”

Su Lixu’s thin lips tremble slightly. After a few seconds, he utters, “…Pervert.”

He’s thirty already.

Fu Xingran can’t help but laugh, responding with a satisfied ‘hmm’, “Very fitting, I’m your little pervert.”

Su Lixu retorts, “Shameless.”

“Also fitting, I persistently pursue shamelessly with you.”

Frustrated, Su Lixu forcefully pulls the bathrobe belt, realizing it’s too tight to break free, slamming it on his thigh.

His eyes turn red with frustration.

“Four years ago was a misunderstanding. As a doctor, how could I abandon you? It was your father who insisted on taking you abroad for treatment, claiming my therapy was ineffective.” Su Lixu clenches his lips, feeling unjust in this predicament. Taking a deep breath, he eases the indigestible emotions, “I told your father not to take you away, but he said I lacked professionalism and couldn’t cure you.”

“People doubted my professionalism, and despite repeated requests not to give up treatment, I ended up being criticized for not being professional enough. I couldn’t bear the responsibility, and your father resolutely took you away. I felt frustrated.”

“…What can I do?”

Su Lixu looks at Fu Xingran, his moist eyes filled with certainty, “I have never said I want to give up on you, never said I want to leave you. I am a doctor, and I don’t have the right to choose my patients. In other words, only patients have the right to choose me, and I won’t refuse any patient. It’s my responsibility.”

Fu Xingran’s expression freezes as he sees Su Lixu’s eyes turn red. He didn’t intend to make Su Lixu cry.

These words catch him off guard. Did his dad talk to Su Lixu about this? So, is this the real reason Su Lixu left because of his dad? Not because Su Lixu didn’t want him and disliked him?

What does it mean that the treatment was ineffective?

What does it mean that Su Lixu is not professional?

Damn it, if it weren’t for Su Lixu, he would have died long ago. Like father, like son.

Fu Xingran’s hand, hanging by his side, involuntarily clenches. His jaw tightens as he grits his teeth, his eyes darkening with anger. That old man has gone crazy! How could he let Su Lixu suffer like this?! He almost blamed Su Lixu wrongly.

“This is why I went abroad because I felt my abilities were indeed not enough, and I lacked confidence. So, you also thought I couldn’t cure you before? I don’t deserve to be your doctor.” Su Lixu catches Fu Xingran’s emotional shift. The strategy of showing weakness seems to work, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

Being vulnerable really works.

No wonder Fu Xingran repeatedly used this tactic on him before. It turns out it works.

“I think you are the best doctor in the world. You saved me, you stayed with me.” Fu Xingran squats in front of Su Lixu, looks up at him, and his gaze is sincere. “If it’s true, I won’t let you suffer like this.”

Perhaps Fu Xingran’s expression is unusually serious, making this statement slightly touching, as if he can take the opportunity to show weakness again.

“Well…” Su Lixu raises his hand, “This is also uncomfortable.”

“Do you want me to unwrap the ‘gift’?” Fu Xingran strokes the position of the bathrobe belt, casually glancing at the red marks on Su Lixu’s wrist. Can it leave marks so easily?Su Lixu is embarrassed by the word ‘gift’: “I am not a gift.”

“Then I won’t unwrap it.”

The two of them gaze at each other for about a minute, and the air is filled with a lingering ambiguous atmosphere.

“… I am.” Su Lixu feels he can’t stand this atmosphere. He compromises and extends his hand in front of Fu Xingran. “I am a gift, unwrap it.”

He can’t take it anymore. He’s going crazy.

Unable to predict what will happen next, he has said what needs to be said, but he can only play it by ear. Fu Xingran wouldn’t go crazy and force him, right?

“I want to unwrap it in another place.”

Before Su Lixu can react, Fu Xingran lifts him off the chair. He exclaims in surprise, looking at Fu Xingran in astonishment. What is he up to now?

Fu Xingran lifts Su Lixu horizontally, pressing the doorknob with his elbow to open the room door. Carrying Su Lixu, he heads towards the adjacent room.

“Fu Xingran, are you… are you calm now?”

Back in Su Lixu’s home, Fu Xingran immediately notices the cake prepared on the bar table. He looks down at the extremely nervous Su Lixu and smirks, “I’m very calm.”After saying that, he walks into Su Lixu’s room.

Seeing the dark green large bed, Fu Xingran seems to recall something that happened on this bed. His lips slightly curve as he walks to the bedside and places Su Lixu on the bed.

The moment Su Lixu touches the bed, he reflexively tries to crawl inside.

However, after taking a few steps, his ankles are instantly held, and he is pulled back. The proximity that follows causes Su Lixu’s pupils to dilate.

Fu Xingran holds Su Lixu’s ankles and pulls him closer. He then kneels in between Su Lixu’s legs, hands resting on Su Lixu’s face, gazing down at him.

The distance between them quickly shortens to an intimate proximity.

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have secretly taken pictures of you.”

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have covered the room with your photos.”

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have drawn that painting that embarrassed you.”

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let you suffer.”

Sincere apologies echo in Su Lixu’s ears. His eyelashes tremble as he meets Fu Xingran’s gaze. The tone is sincere, but the eyes are passionate, leaving his throat inexplicably dry and tense.

“I wrongly accused you. If you don’t like my changes, please don’t be angry. Can you?”

Su Lixu doesn’t know why Fu Xingran suddenly changed his attitude, but at least he doesn’t feel as tense as he did in the previous room. At least this is his own home.

At least Fu Xingran let him go and brought him back home.

That means Fu Xingran still has some sanity and didn’t really want to force him.”

Then release me now.” Su Lixu turns his face away, avoiding the breath.

“Brother, today is my birthday. I want a gift. If you give it to me, I’ll let you go immediately.”

Hearing Fu Xingran asking for a gift again, Su Lixu inexplicably panics, “Wh-what do you want?”

Regardless of what he wants, he feels he might not be able to give Fu Xingran what he desires.

Fu Xingran just looks at Su Lixu, his gaze moving from top to bottom, finally resting on the slightly reddish lips. The expression in his eyes darkens. Slowly, he approaches.

Su Lixu reflexively raises his hand to block Fu Xingran’s approaching chest, but his hand is caught by Fu Xingran.

It’s not until warm lips touch his slightly cold earlobe, and Fu Xingran’s deep voice reaches his ears, “I want you to raise your hand in front of me and say, ‘Please unwrap it.’

“Su Lixu: Save me, save me, save me, save me.