Chapter 45: I miss you and I want to hug you

As the plane pierced through the clouds, leaving behind faint traces of white, Su Lixu gazed at the bright weather outside the window, suddenly missing Fu Xingran.

It wasn’t the first time he had been on a business trip. Since starting work, he had attended numerous seminars and academic conferences both domestically and internationally throughout the year. But this was the first time he had this feeling of reluctance, that longing sensation, knowing someone was waiting eagerly for his return.

Love really had such power. He had been on the plane for less than half an hour, away from Fu Xingran for less than two hours, and he already wanted to go back.

Habit was indeed a dreadful thing. Accustomed to the warmth of Fu Xingran, he felt cold the moment he left. Now, he was already thinking about hugging his big dog and kissing him.

He sighed softly.

“Seven days…”

His big dog was right; seven days felt like an eternity.

“He’s on a business trip for seven days.”

He Shi leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed, then turned to the rare guest Fu Xingran in front of him. “So?”

“During this time, I’d like to ask for your help,” Fu Xingran said, then fell silent for a moment.

He Shi didn’t respond, his expression unchanged, still wearing the same smile he had when he first saw Fu Xingran, waiting for his next words.

The office fell into a non-awkward silence. The last simple conversation outside Su Lixu’s office had dissolved the tension between them and gave Fu Xingran the courage to face himself again.

“I’d like you to help me retake a test,” Fu Xingran said, as if he had resolved the conflict with his reluctant self and finally found a firm answer.

He Shi didn’t rush to respond. He observed Fu Xingran’s expression, and in just a few seconds, he got the answer he wanted – this guy was serious.

“Do I need to keep this secret from Lixu?”

Fu Xingran shook his head. “No, I want him to know.”

He Shi smiled, adjusting his glasses appreciatively as he looked at Fu Xingran. “Good boy.”

He straightened up and turned on his computer.

“How much do you charge per hour?” Fu Xingran asked bluntly.

He Shi paused with his hand on the mouse, lifting his gaze slightly from the computer, showing some amusement at Fu Xingran’s remark, “I am quite expensive, it’s not easy for ordinary people to book me.”

The implication was, you got in through the back door.

Naturally, Fu Xingran caught the implication from He Shi. Although he didn’t know He Shi’s level, he knew that Su Lixu had been helping him arrange meetings with He Shi. Anyone approved by Su Lixu must be quite capable, especially considering He Shi was such a young psychology professor. Being able to enroll in He Shi’s class was like passing through a series of tests, even if he had been coasting through his studies.

“It doesn’t matter how much, and you don’t have to refrain from taking my money just for his sake. If you’re willing to help me, then it’s only right that I pay,” Fu Xingran said.

He Shi raised an eyebrow ever so slightly and chuckled, “Alright, I’ll print out the questionnaire for you. In the meantime, would you like to talk about the past you with me?”

This boy, full of boldness and sharpness, always showed his softest and most vulnerable side in front of Su Lixu. He thought, daring to face it, not afraid, no matter how bad it might get.

Psychological disorders can never be cured solely by medication; the people around you are the most important.

“Love” is the most precious and effective medicine.

Fu Xingran clenched his hands tightly on his knees, looked at He Shi for a long time, then slowly relaxed his fists, let go of his guard, and responded, “Okay.”

This was something he had to face, couldn’t escape from. Since Su Lixu was already his lover, his therapist could only be someone else.

And He Shi should be his best choice.Besides, he had money.

Due to the time difference, it was already late at night domestically when Su Lixu’s side had just witnessed sunset.

The seminar was scheduled for the next day. They arrived early to have dinner with some psychology professors they had a good relationship with, discussing academic matters and recent research projects. Naturally, there were unavoidable dinners in the evening, as well as post-dinner conversations.

Su Lixu, who used to be willing to express his opinions, was clearly absent-minded this time.

This also made the professor notice something amiss.

“Lixu? Are you feeling unwell?” Su Lixu was busy replying to messages from Fu Xingran. When he heard his teacher calling him, he snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, “Ah, no, maybe I’m just a bit tired from not getting enough rest recently.”

The teacher, upon hearing that his beloved disciple was tired, naturally wouldn’t force him to stay, “Then you should go back to the hotel and rest first. Us old folks may need to chat for a bit since we haven’t seen each other in a while.”

Su Lixu wondered if he had appeared too indifferent, “I’ll wait until after I’ve escorted you back—”

“No need, no need. You don’t have to escort me for just a few steps. I’m not that old, I’m only sixty!” The teacher patted Su Lixu’s shoulder, “Go on, take care of your own business. Young people have their own things to do, and your teacher understands.”

Su Lixu was amused by his teacher’s laughter, and could only smile and nod, “Okay, thank you, teacher.”

Then he bid farewell to the professors present and left the room.

The moment he stepped out of the room, he felt an urgency he had never experienced before, even surpassing the urgency of a pressing need.

All because of the message he had just received:

—”Baby, I’ve finished bathing.”

He had never considered himself someone with such high demands in this regard. But ever since he met Fu Xingran, he repeatedly explored his own limits through Fu Xingran, realizing that human potential was limitless.

And so was shamelessness.

When he could openly face his own needs and Fu Xingran’s needs with acceptance, he knew he could accept himself.

And he was very willing to.

He missed Fu Xingran so much, terribly so.

From the moment they parted, he understood what it meant to long for someone.

Inserting the key card into the slot, the room’s lights instantly illuminated. Su Lixu took off his shoes in the entrance, placed his phone on the shoe cabinet, while at the same time, he heard Fu Xingran’s deep voice through the receiver.

“You’re still not back? Babe, I just want to see you now.”

Nervousness and urgency made Su Lixu’s breathing start to quicken. He didn’t know why, but he felt Fu Xingran’s urgent need, and so he empathized.

“I’m taking off my shoes.”

As soon as he spoke, he heard Fu Xingran’s hoarse chuckle through the receiver, sending shivers down his spine.

“Do you remember the first time I went to your place, and you squatted down barefoot to help me put on my shoes?”

Su Lixu didn’t know why he brought this up, “Hmm? What about it?”

“I remember thinking, how could a man have such slender and beautiful ankles, even the veins looked beautiful. If I could just hold your ankle and do something…”

Su Lixu’s breath caught in his throat suddenly, looking down at his half-removed socks, his hands trembling slightly, “Is that so?”

Please stop.

“When you went into the kitchen, I kissed the hand that touched your ankle, not feeling dirty at all. I was very excited.”

Su Lixu quickly took off his socks and walked into the living room barefoot. He undid the top button of his shirt, suddenly feeling hot.

But Fu Xingran’s voice echoed in the living room, stirring up his emotions.

“Do you remember that day after the rain, you made me lie down obediently? I listened to the sound of you showering. Do you know what I did?” Fu Xingran asked with a smile, his voice rich with magnetism even though he hadn’t said much yet, his ambiguous tone sparking endless imagination.

Su Lixu thought he couldn’t bear to listen anymore; his heart was beating faster and faster.

Knowing that he missed him so much, why did he have to use words to tease him like this?

“I lay on your bed, wearing your clothes, smelling the scent of you on the blanket, listening to the sound of your shower, using my hands—”

“Fu Xingran!” Su Lixu couldn’t bear it any longer and stopped this guy’s continuation.

“What’s wrong?” Fu Xingran asked, still smiling.

Su Lixu walked back to the entrance, picked up his phone, and fell silent for two seconds before saying in a muffled voice, “Don’t do this. Hearing you say that just makes me miss you more, and I can’t hold you, you know.”

Fu Xingran on the other end seemed surprised by Su Lixu’s response. He seemed to detect a tremble in Su Lixu’s tone, and his teasing words abruptly stopped.

“I regret saying that seven days would pass quickly. Seven days are actually 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds.” Su Lixu lowered his gaze, staring at the phone’s call interface. “But ever since I left you, I’ve been thinking of you.”

“Babe, I miss you. I want to hold you,” Fu Xingran heard Su Lixu’s words and felt his heart instantly melt. Right now, he wished he could sprout wings and fly to Su Lixu to hold him.

“I think I like you more than I imagined,” Su Lixu switched to video mode. He saw Fu Xingran on the other end of the video call, and that face instantly filled the void in his heart at that moment. “Babe, video?”

Fu Xingran, facing the slightly open collar of Su Lixu on the video, smirked and said, “I’m all set.”

In that moment of eye contact, they understood each other without words.

“I haven’t showered yet. I’m afraid I’ll break into a sweat later and have to shower again.” Su Lixu walked into the bathroom, filled the bathtub with water, then placed his phone on the rack above the bathtub, adjusting the angle.

As the night deepened, intoxication became intense.

Both ends of the video call were in quiet environments, their breathing either rapid or gentle. Their gazes were intense or hazy. Even their affectionate nicknames for each other were accompanied by a sharp rise in temperature.

For them, intense emotions seemed to break through the screen.

It made them miss each other even more than their usual close daily contact did.

Fu Xingran stared deeply at the enlarged details on the screen of the home theater. In the bathtub, his beloved leaned against the tub wall, the corners of his eyes tinged with crimson, smiling as he gazed into Fu Xingran’s eyes. There was a hint of sweat on his nose, every aspect of him challenging Fu Xingran’s restraint.

He stared intently, his hand gripping the armrest of the sofa tightly, muscles tensing suddenly. In the next instant, his voice hoarse with deep emotion, he called out, “Babe.”

Su Lixu’s held breath trembled, then finally steadied. He met Fu Xingran’s gaze on the video.

“Do you want to wake up and see me tomorrow?” Fu Xingran wiped away the moisture on the screen with his fingertip, smirking and raising an eyebrow at Su Lixu.

Just like they hadn’t been apart, the next morning when he woke up, it was still Fu Xingran calling out “babe” in his ear.