We Monsters Are Not Allowed to Be Single

Auntie Xu was very pleased with this outcome. She heaped praises on Jiang Lan.” Little comrade was a very capable mediator. I will send you a thank-you red banner [1]TL’s note: A tradition in China to express thanks. A red banner has a red velvet background with yellow writing on them, to show appreciation to anyone who helped you..”

Jiang Lan declined, saying there was no need. But Auntie Xu was insistent on this.

While this was going on, Jiu Feng remained on the sidelines, seething with anger. But she didn’t dare to use force at this point. When she was about to leave, the minion she dispatched to find a hypnotist had returned, together with a few more people.

“Master, I have brought the man you need.”

Auntie Xu’s smile vanished at this. She regarded Jiu Feng suspiciously.” Master? This word belongs to the imperial past. We no longer address people in this way. And what’s your purpose in bringing these people here?”  

Her eyes scanned them suspiciously.

Jiu Feng glared at the little monsters behind her and said coldly.” I asked them here to dance.”

Unaware of the turn of events during his absence, the little monster said hesitantly.” Didn’t you say we could take a day off today? They are already gone.”

What this little monster said gave his master away.

Auntie Xu clapped her hands.” Ho, it turned out your members are all hired dancers! No wonder they all danced very professionally. But why? I see no point in doing things like that.”

Jiang Lan didn’t expect this.

He watched Jiu Feng’s cheek flushed, never expecting to see a high monster pick up square dancing as a hobby.

What a diverse bunch!

Jiu Feng glared at the uncomprehending little monster and turned to leave.

She loved square dancing. But none of the high monsters she knew showed interest in square dancing. And she didn’t want to mingle with humans. In the end, she managed to convince several little monsters to join her dance group after much coercion and bribery.

But her nightly dancing was interrupted by a noise complaint lodged against her a month after her group was formed, and she was forced to move to Yu Wan Plaza.

Yu Wan Plaza already had one active square dancing group. As latecomers, they had to settle for a less ideal spot. But Jiu Feng was not the kind of person who made do with the second-best. After persuasion failed, she tried to intimidate Auntie Xu to give up the best spot.

But who would expect to run into the people from the Monster Bureau?

What bad luck!

Jiu Feng thought furiously that perhaps moving to a new apartment complex would solve her problem.

Before she turned to leave, Auntie Xu stopped her unexpectedly. Jiu Feng looked at her with a cold face: What does this human want?

Auntie Xu proposed.” It is a waste of money to hire people to dance with you, even for rich people. If you really love square dancing, why not join my group? I saw you performed some perfect dance moves yesterday. If you join my group, this spot will become yours! And we can learn some new dance moves from you. I think this is mutually beneficial for us.”

Jiang Lan nodded in admiration for Auntie Xu.

What a courageous move!

A human dared to ask Jiu Feng to join her in square dancing.

He had never seen anything like this.

A group of little monsters behind Jiu Feng were all trembling in horror, waiting to see what would happen next with this ignorant human.

But Jiu Feng didn’t erupt in rage at this proposal. Pausing a second, she said.” You want to invite me to be your lead dancer?”

Auntie Xu said.” We have several lead dancers in our group. A dancer with skills like yours will have no problem becoming our lead dancer. You might have the chance to represent our group to enter a square dancing competition.”

Jiu Feng was obviously tempted by this offer.

The joy of dancing alone is nothing compared to dancing among her peers.

As a retired former deity who had all the time in the world, square dancing had become her only occupation.

She thought Auntie Xu’s proposal was very appealing to her, so she nodded without further consideration.

Jiang Lan and Auntie Xu smiled at her reaction. But shocked looks appeared on those little monsters’ faces. They went forward to ask for her clarification.” Does this mean we are no longer required to meet you here at 7 o’clock every night?”

At this time, Jiu Feng was being dragged away by the eager Auntie Xu. Waving perfunctorily, she said.” Yes, yes, no need.” 

These little monsters were cheered by this piece of good news. Unlike those high monsters who had enough wealth to support them, they all have jobs during the day. It was tough to attend a square dancing session every night after a day of exhausting work, even if they were paid.

Now they were finally relieved of this burden. They thanked her in unison.” Thank you master.”

Jiu Feng seemed to take this for granted. But Auntie Xu took issue with her on this.” Judging by the way they addressed you, I think you must come from an old rich family? I have to remind you kindly that you have lagged behind our time. Now it is the 21 century. The feudal overlords have long been overthrown by the people. The titles like masters are dregs from the feudal times. I don’t care about this. But if the other members in our group overhear how they address you, they might reject you.”

Mindful of the fact that she was indeed friendless, Jiu Feng asked.” Why? I didn’t ask them to address me like that.”

With a knowing look, Auntie Xu explained.” The members of our dance group are all ordinary people. Once they hear you are called master, they would assume you are a noble lady from a rich family. Our members had nothing against rich people, but they would think twice about making you their friend. If they start to distance themselves from you, you might as well dance alone.”

Jiu Feng thought what she said made sense to her.

Since ancient times, she had always been friendless. Those who were less powerful feared her. Those powerful high monsters found they had few things in common with her.

That’s why she hired people to dance with her.

After a little thought, she decided to be as low-key as possible from then on.

Auntie Xu grew friendlier with her after sensing she was very receptive to her suggestion. She thought her overbearing manner was just the unfortunate product of a wealthy family and spoiled upbringing. 

Having worked as a school teacher for decades, she thought Jiu Feng was reasonable and deserved her help.

In a few moments, these two women had gone from opponents engaging in a heated quarrel to close friends swapping valuable life lessons.

Auntie Xu asked Jiu Feng curiously.” Oh, I have been meaning to ask you. How do you manage to conjure up nine heads? I have learned how to change masks in the blink of eyes from an old opera performer. But I have never seen a trick like this.”

Jiu Feng stole a glance at Jiang Lan, afraid that he might report this.

“Oh, this trick. It’s a trick passed down from my ancestors. It’s very hard to learn.”

Auntie Xu always took care to observe the proprieties. Knowing tricks passing down from ancestors were supposed to be secret, she stopped probing. Instead, she said.” There are few tricks like this today. I always like to watch illusionists performing stage magic. After retirement, I have attended lessons to learn how to perform changing face. I will bring my equipment to perform this trick for you. I think this trick might be better than your nine heads trick.”

Jiu Feng……

She tried very hard to maintain her smile.


Now more square dance group members have come here to attend today’s dancing session. After Auntie Xu introduced Jiu Feng to other group members, she thanked Jiang Lan again.

She praised him again, thanking him for resolving the dispute and bringing a lead dancer to their group.

“Today I trouble you too much. Next week I will send the thank-you banner to you.”

Jiang Lan didn’t know how to react. After seeing the members start to stand in rows, he hurriedly reminded her.” No need auntie. You see, your members are standing in rows waiting for you.”

Auntie Xu immediately returned to her group.

Jiang Lan took a breath of relief.

But he didn’t return home right away. He found a pavilion to sit down and watched Auntie Xu talking to her members. After a while, he saw Jiu Feng was invited to perform a dance in front of the group.

Perhaps Auntie Xu had invited her to demonstrate a new dance move.

And Jiu Feng did a terrific job performing her dance.

Remembering the fierce look on Jiu Feng’s face when she was in a relentless pursuit of him, Jiang Lan discovered now Jiu Feng was really a marvellous dancer.

Her aggressive appearance was replaced by a gentle, peaceful air around her when she danced. Perhaps that was the bird race’s gifts.

Taking out his phone, he sent a video clip he recorded with his phone to Ying Qiao:[ Guess who I met today while helping to mediate a dispute among local residents.]

Ying Qiao responded within a second. [Who?]

At this time, he was in the middle of a meeting with his employees. After reading the message, his mind began to wander.

Whose appearance made the Little Monster this excited?

[The Little Monster: I just met Jiu Feng!]

On seeing this, Ying Qiao instantly sat upright.

Jiu Feng?

Ying Qiao immediately suspended the meeting, telling his employees this meeting would be continued tomorrow and left.

How come the Little Monster ran into Jiu Feng?

He knew Jiu Feng to be a famous maniac in ancient times.

She was famous for being vindictive, comparable to Ya Zi of the Dragon Palace. But Now Ya Zi was gone. She was still alive and retained her fierce temper.

Tai Feng had complained to him about her several times, accusing her of being quarrelsome. He planned to banish her to the mountains after her demerit points reached 100 to remove a potential threat to the peaceful coexistence between humans and monsters.

How did the Little Monster get himself involved with her?


1 TL’s note: A tradition in China to express thanks. A red banner has a red velvet background with yellow writing on them, to show appreciation to anyone who helped you.
1 comment
  1. Lana has spoken 2 years ago

    Thanks for the chapter!


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