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24. You help me undo it.
When the warm sun first appeared, Xu Yanhuan woke up from his deep sleep. He opened his eyes to find the curtains tightly closed, with a ray of light seeping in through the gaps.
He sat up in bed and rubbed his forehead. The fever had subsided, leaving only some lingering symptoms of fatigue, which would likely disappear soon.
There was a thermos cup on the bedside table, and the water inside was still hot.
Noticing that it was only seven o’clock, Xu Yanhuan thought that the other owner of the house was still asleep. As he came out of the room, he saw Yu Xinqiao wearing an apron coming out of the kitchen, and Xu Yanhuan was momentarily taken aback.
“Feeling better?” Yu Xinqiao approached and observed. “You seem fine now. How about taking a day off today and resting a bit more?”
Xu Yanhuan remained silent for a moment. Yu Xinqiao followed his gaze to his hand and awkwardly hid the spatula behind his back. “Don’t let my appearance fool you. I actually have some talent in cooking.”
Just as he finished boasting, Yu Xinqiao’s nose twitched, detecting a strange burnt smell.
Then he quickly turned and ran to the kitchen, saying, “Oh no, I forgot that the eggs are still frying in the pan!”
Xu Yanhuan: “…”
In the end, Xu Yanhuan made breakfast.
He saw Yu Xinqiao reach for the pan and felt his heart skip a beat. He occupied the space in front of the stove, taking charge of cooking and only allowing Yu Xinqiao to assist with seasoning, just as before.
Yu Xinqiao ruined two fried eggs and felt embarrassed, remaining silent until they sat down at the dining table.
It was Xu Yanhuan’s turn to break the silence. He pondered for a moment and said, “It’s alright if you can’t fry eggs perfectly. In Xuncheng, you took good care of yourself.”
“That’s because I didn’t cook.” Yu Xinqiao used chopsticks to mash the fried eggs. “I usually ordered takeout or cooked noodles at most.”
“That’s still impressive.” Xu Yanhuan said, “The first time I cooked noodles when I was a child, I ended up burning the whole pot.”
Yu Xinqiao looked up, “Really? How old were you back then?”
Xu Yanhuan thought for a moment, “Six years old.”
“…”
Yu Xinqiao exerted force with his hand, and the tip of the chopsticks pierced the bulging belly of the fried eggs, causing the runny yolk to flow out.
After finishing breakfast, when Xu Yanhuan changed into a white shirt, Yu Xinqiao became even more unhappy, with the corners of his mouth drooping.
“Aren’t lawyers able to arrange their work freely?” he asked. “Why do you leave early every day?”
Xu Yanhuan casually grabbed a tie, “I still have other cases to push forward. Once this period is busy—”
The rest of his words vanished in his throat because Yu Xinqiao walked over, took the tie from his hand, stood on tiptoes, and put it around his neck.
He carefully adjusted the width and crossed it over before showing him. Yu Xinqiao lowered his gaze, folding and looping the tie in his hand. He tidied it up, then slowly tightened the wider end by pulling it from the middle.
It was a Windsor knot, known for its symmetry. After finishing, Yu Xinqiao gave the knot a slight tug and admired it, saying with satisfaction, “A Windsor knot goes well with a wide collar.”
When
he looked up, Xu Yanhuan suddenly met his gaze, fixed on him. Yu Xinqiao’s breath hitched, and he let go of his hand, taking a step back uneasily. “…If you think it doesn’t look good, you can untie it and redo it.”
“No need,” Xu Yanhuan lowered his head and glanced at it, “It looks great.”
Today, the “wife” bidding farewell to the “husband” and heading to work became Yu Xinqiao.
Having lingering fears about the previous accident, Xu Yanhuan couldn’t help but say, “Pay attention to safety.”
Xu Yanhuan agreed and also gave him some safety instructions.
At 10 o’clock in the morning, a knocking sound was heard. Yu Xinqiao looked through the peephole for a while and confirmed the voice before opening the door.
Liang Yi looked puzzled and asked, “Were you inside using the bathroom?”
Yu Xinqiao felt embarrassed to say that Xu Yanhuan told him not to open the door for strangers. He found a pair of slippers from the shoe cabinet and threw them on the floor. “Yeah, I’ve been constipated recently.”
This time, Liang Yi brought the new contract with the Love Symphony Orchestra and also confirmed the performance repertoire with Yu Xinqiao.
Yu Xinqiao noticed that Debussy’s “Clair de Lune” was added. He asked, “Why was this piece included?”
“The orchestra found that the duration of the performance was not long enough, and besides, the concert is aimed at ordinary music lovers, so there should be some well-known pieces.”
“But this piece is suitable for solo performance, and it doesn’t require collaboration with the orchestra.”
“It’s meant to be the final solo piece for you. When we were selecting the repertoire, you also included this piece in the backup list.”
“…I included it?”
“Who else? It’s your concert, so the song selection should be based on your preferences.”
Yu Xinqiao still couldn’t remember. He had no recollection of how he considered it at that time.
He didn’t dare to think too much. He couldn’t give too much meaning to it just because he once played this piece as a birthday gift for the eighteen-year-old Xu Yanhuan. It was just needed for the concert, nothing more.
After discussing the main matters, Yu Xinqiao began to dial a hotline for help from a friend. “I have a friend who recently received two concert tickets.”
Liang Yi was playing with a hedgehog near the bar counter and responded with an “Oh.” “Xu Yanhuan invited you to attend the concert.”
Yu Xinqiao fell silent for a moment and decided to continue, “The person who gave him the concert tickets once stood him up.”
“Indeed, he waited outside the concert hall for half a day, in such heavy rain.”
“Now, should he go to the appointment or not?”
“We shouldn’t ask if he should or shouldn’t, we should ask if you want to or not.”
“I don’t know,” Yu Xinqiao’s shoulders slumped, finally giving up the role play. “He told me not to forgive him and to make him wait in the rain for a day. But I…”
“But you haven’t made him wait yet, and you already feel sorry for him,” Liang Yi shook his head and sighed, “Feeling sorry for a man is the first step towards unhappiness.”
Yu Xinqiao rolled his eyes, “You talk as if you’re not a man.”
“I see through love and prioritize money. I’m an otherworldly being.”
Seeing the hedgehog eating made Liang Yi hungry. He hadn’t had breakfast and opened the refrigerator to look for something to eat. “Hey, your house actually has ice cream.”
Yu Xinqiao jumped up from the sofa, “Don’t touch my ice cream!”
“I’ll just have one.”
“One is not enough. Xu Yanhuan checks the quantity every day!”
Liang Yi began to express his frustration, saying, “I think you should just go. Stop struggling. What’s the point of being stubborn when the husband is strict?”
Of course, he was joking.
Before leaving, Liang Yi patted Yu Xinqiao’s shoulder with a solemn tone, as if treating him as an eighteen-year-old child. “I can’t interfere in the affairs of you young people, but, Qiao, your happiness is the most important thing.”
Yu Xinqiao: “…”
On the day of the concert, the sun was shining in the morning, but around noon, dark clouds gathered in the sky, and soon it started to rain.
After Yu Xinqiao and the orchestra manager finished their meal, Liang Yi wanted to accompany him when they left. Yu Xinqiao shook his head and said, “I’ll manage on my own.”
The concert hall was less than two kilometers away.
With an umbrella in hand, Yu Xinqiao unconsciously quickened his pace. He extended his hand outside the umbrella, feeling the slightly cool raindrops on his skin in the slightly stuffy weather of late spring.
Although he was already on the way, there was still some hesitation in his heart.
Should he go or not, and when should he go?
It was only two o’clock now, and the concert started at three. If I arrive early and wait there, will it be embarrassing?
Xu Yanhuan didn’t mention the concert when they left in the morning. Did he forget again?
Yu Xinqiao took out his phone, opened the contacts, and hesitated with his finger hovering over Xu Yanhuan’s number for a while before finally not pressing it.
Just forget about it. Yu Xinqiao thought, this time the ticket is in my hands, I can just listen to it myself.
Even he himself didn’t realize that he didn’t actually have any hope for “Xu Yanhuan keeping the appointment.”
The shadow from back then was too deep, and the amnesia undoubtedly deepened the impression of that memory. Yu Xinqiao’s footsteps slowed down as he walked.
Until he saw a familiar figure standing prominently on the steps under the dome-shaped roof of the Capital Concert Hall in the distance.
Perhaps it wasn’t because of the prominent location.
With the sound of rain and people coming and going, Yu Xinqiao seemed to activate the spotlight mode on the stage. There was only that one familiar and desolate figure in his field of vision.
He stepped on the shallow puddles and approached, raising the umbrella slightly to shelter Xu Yanhuan.
“You did it on purpose.” His voice sounded like a reproach, but Yu Xinqiao’s voice was gentle. “If you have a fever again, I won’t take care of you.”
Xu Yanhuan looked at him, his eyes showing a hint of relaxed amusement. “I just arrived.”
Yu Xinqiao looked at the wet hair and shoulders, and after a long time, he spoke again. “I’m here to keep the appointment, but it doesn’t mean I forgive you or accept you.”
He had no right to represent the twenty-four-year-old Yu Xinqiao in accepting anyone.
“I just…” Yu Xinqiao looked away, “I just don’t have a heart as cold as yours.”
When Xu Yanhuan was eighteen, he could heartlessly make Yu Xinqiao wait for him in the rain, but when Yu Xinqiao was eighteen, he couldn’t be so heartless.
The twenty-four-year-old Yu Xinqiao definitely couldn’t do it either.
After a while, he heard Xu Yanhuan say, “I know.”
Then he heard, “Maybe you won’t believe it, but back then, I really didn’t want to miss it.”
The two early arrivals waited at the entrance for about forty minutes before their tickets were checked and they could enter.
The pianist performing today was renowned both domestically and internationally. Yu Xinqiao admired him greatly since he started learning the piano. Being present at the live performance inevitably stirred up waves of excitement within him.
In contrast, Xu Yanhuan remained calm, as if attending a courtroom trial. He sat upright in his seat, with a serious expression, which made Yu Xinqiao also pay attention to his own demeanor. He adjusted the hem of his windbreaker, regretting a bit for not wearing formal attire.
However, concert halls like this were often used to distinguish true music enthusiasts from mere poseurs.
The melodious and graceful piano sound resonated, elegant and serene, lacking in fervor. Midway through, Xu Yanhuan had to rest his elbow on the armrest, supporting his head with the back of his hand.
Soon, his thoughts drifted away with the music.
When he woke up, the stage was playing a passionate piece. Xu Yanhuan furrowed his brows and opened his eyes. His gaze met the smiling eyes of the person sitting next to him.
After the concert, the two of them walked along with the crowd. Yu Xinqiao asked him, “Are you still busy these days? You seem quite tired.”
Unable to explain the dozing off incident just now, Xu Yanhuan could only say, “I’m not fond of the repertoire the pianist played.”
Yu Xinqiao raised an eyebrow, “But I thought you had no ear for music. Can you distinguish the difference?”
“I can,” Xu Yanhuan said, “I can even recognize the pieces you play.”
Fortunately, the indoor crowd was dense, and the temperature was quite high. Not only did he not catch a cold from sleeping, but his clothes were unexpectedly steamed dry.
Outside, the rain was still falling. Xu Yanhuan held the umbrella while the two of them walked side by side in the rain. Yu Xinqiao reached out and caught a few raindrops, and his other palm covered them, gently rubbing.
He remembered back then, Yu Xinqiao called this “washing hands” and told the person sharing an umbrella with him, “Wash your hands first before eating.”
It was still these fair and beautiful hands, and it was still this naive and pure young man.
The scene played out frame by frame in slow motion, without needing any filters, as beautiful as a movie.
However, they didn’t expect that after hearing the question, “Do you want to eat tea eggs,” Yu Xinqiao seemed to completely forget the embarrassment of his soaked shoes and almost falling. His eyes lit up instantly, and he nodded eagerly, “Yes, I want to eat.”
So the two of them wandered through the streets and alleys, putting in great effort until they finally found a snack stall in a secluded lane. An elderly lady supported a charcoal stove in front of her, with a pot placed on top. When she lifted the lid, a fragrant aroma filled the air.
I heard that these tea eggs are only one yuan each,” Yu Xinqiao exclaimed, extending his fingers and counting one, two, three, four for a while. He turned his head with anticipation and sought the agreement of Xu Yanhuan, asking, “Let’s buy them all and eat them slowly at home, okay?”
“Of course, we can,” Xu Yanhuan agreed without hesitation.
Xu Yanhuan couldn’t help but believe that even if Yu Xinqiao suddenly wanted to make tea eggs himself, he would show his support and ask the old lady if he could buy her charcoal stove at any price.
Carrying a bag full of tea eggs back home, Yu Xinqiao took out a porcelain pot from the cupboard and poured the eggs along with the soup into it.
After finishing the task, he turned around and saw Xu Yanhuan scratching his neck with his hand. Only then did Yu Xinqiao realize that the old lady who sold tea eggs lived in the alley where they just were. The more it was a place where elderly people lived, the more cats and dogs gathered. They had heard several cat meows and dog barks when they bought the tea eggs.
In a hurry, he pushed Xu Yanhuan to sit down, unscrewed the ointment, and skillfully applied it to his finger before rubbing it onto Xu Yanhuan’s body.
Actually, Xu Yanhuan also had fair skin, but compared to Yu Xinqiao’s translucent white complexion, his fairness had a cool undertone of blue. That day, when he had a fever and fell asleep, Yu Xinqiao had observed the blood vessels on his eyelids up close, which were also blue.
That’s why he used blue envelopes for the love letters he wrote to Xu Yanhuan because he felt it matched him.
Now, the allergy symptoms appeared, and patches of red dots emerged on his cold white skin, which looked quite alarming.
While applying the ointment, Yu Xinqiao murmured in a half-joking manner, “You’re really delicate.”
Xu Yanhuan chuckled, recognizing the word “delicate” that had been used on Yu Xinqiao before, which was clearly more suitable for him.
Yu Xinqiao didn’t care how he interpreted it. All he knew was that he was being mocked again, so he threatened, “If you laugh at me again, I’ll bring the neighbor’s cat here to make you itch to death!”
Xu Yanhuan: “…”
Inevitably, it touched upon memories. Xu Yanhuan used to run away when he saw cats and dogs, and Yu Xinqiao thought he had been bitten by both animals at the same time.
As he applied the ointment on the front, Yu Xinqiao jokingly asked, “Back then, did you treat me like a dog? Otherwise, why would you run away when you saw me?”
However, Xu Yanhuan shook his head and said with seriousness, “I’m not allergic to you.”
“Now you can say that, even if back then…” Yu Xinqiao suddenly sighed, “Forget it, why bring up those things?”
Those were already things of the past, and it was meaningless to mention them again.
However, even the old almanac had someone who cared about it.
“In the past, was I really bad to you?” Xu Yanhuan asked.
Yu Xinqiao paused his movements and said, “Yes, you were. But since you didn’t accept my pursuit, I can’t blame you.”
“You can blame me. Blame everything on me,” Xu Yanhuan nodded, looking at the trembling eyelashes of Yu Xinqiao, “Now, I’m the
one pursuing you. And now, I’m six years older than you.”
Originally, he should have taken care of Yu Xinqiao, protected him.
Yu Xinqiao smiled, imitating his tone, “Taking advantage of me, huh?”
However, his voice was trembling.
Sometimes he really wished he could forget everything, forget those unfinished love letters, the hurtful words, and countless instances of self-inflicted sentimentality.
But he couldn’t forget. Even after the accident and amnesia, what he forgot were the years without Xu Yanhuan. Memories related to him were vividly etched in his mind.
“Xu Yanhuan, don’t pretend to be pitiful,” Yu Xinqiao said, “You’re not innocent at all.”
Saying this, Yu Xinqiao looked up at Xu Yanhuan, into his deep and unfathomable eyes. He felt that a person like him should never have to suffer from the torment of emotions, the pain of joys and sorrows.
He should have lived coldly and heartlessly, making others toss and turn for him. Instead of the current situation, treating with caution and caring attentively.
Yu Xinqiao realized that he was really strange. On one hand, he didn’t want to suffer alone, but on the other hand, he felt that Xu Yanhuan had already suffered enough and shouldn’t endure any more pain in love.
“Okay,” Xu Yanhuan agreed, “I’m indeed not innocent.”
So he accepted it. Even if Yu Xinqiao didn’t come today, even if Yu Xinqiao never returned, he accepted it.
But since he had caught him, he wouldn’t let go.
He began to believe that Yu Xinqiao’s amnesia was a chance given to him by fate. “Since you’ve forgotten, we can start over.”
“…Start over?” Yu Xinqiao was puzzled.
“From the beginning of our marriage,” Xu Yanhuan suggested.
Yu Xinqiao was at a loss, “What should we do from the beginning of our marriage?”
He thought of kissing every day, blushing at the thought. The tears that had just welled up were suppressed.
Even though he had already accepted this setup, he still had some doubts. Yu Xinqiao asked, “Do we really… kiss every day?”
“Not just that,” Xu Yanhuan said, “We do other things too.”
In reality, Yu Xinqiao had been wondering if his twenty-four-year-old self had any sexual life.
There was no lubricant at home, no sign of condoms, and his marriage partner had a face that exuded abstinence. He leaned towards the negative.
Hugging and kissing should be the limit.
But how could liking someone not be linked to desire?
Yu Xinqiao’s gaze uncontrollably shifted downward and he got caught red-handed.
“Don’t believe me?” Xu Yanhuan frowned, seemingly unable to understand how this could be doubted. “I told you, you can try it.”
Just now, Yu Xinqiao’s hands were wandering on him like playing the piano, but the saint did not respond.
At this moment, Yu Xinqiao was already confused because, after all, the more composed and self-controlled a person, the more impactful it was when they said such things. His hand unconsciously loosened, and the ointment fell to the ground.
He was about to pick it up, but Xu Yanhuan didn’t allow it.
The situation subtly shifted. Xu Yanhuan wrapped one arm around Yu Xinqiao’s slender waist, trapping him on the sofa. The corners of Yu Xinqiao’s eyes turned pink, his lips becoming as rosy as some kind of peeled fruit.
Clearly, he hadn’t even taken a bite today.
And at this moment, Yu Xinqiao suddenly realized Xu Yanhuan’s true nature hidden beneath his cold exterior. In addition to relying on his good looks, he also had a bad temper and extremely poor patience. Now, everything was exposed, exuding a domineering aura tinged with hostility.
Following Yu Xinqiao’s gaze, Xu Yanhuan lowered his head and saw his own shirt collar with two unbuttoned buttons and a loosened tie due to applying ointment.
Yu Xinqiao swallowed a gulp of air.
At the same time, he witnessed the Adam’s apple beneath the cold, pale skin rolling intensely.
Xu Yanhuan held one of Yu Xinqiao’s hands and with the last bit of patience, pried open his clenched fingers and placed them on the knot of his tie in front of his chest.
“You tied it,” Xu Yanhuan’s voice was hoarse and persuasive as he made a request, “Help me undo it.”
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EuphoriaT[Translator]
Certified member of the IIO(International Introverts Organization), PhD holder in Overthinking and Ghosting, Spokesperson for BOBAH(Benefits of Being a Homebody), Founder of SFA(Salted Fish Association), Brand Ambassador for Couch Potato fall line Pajama set.