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26. I like you the same way.
Yu Xinqiao picked up the phone, slowly unlocking it, and opened WeChat.
He found the person who had added him over an hour ago, opened the chat box, and was about to type when he suddenly realized, “Why should I tell him who you are to me?”
Xu Yanhuan countered, “What do you think?”
“He’s just a regular friend of mine. There’s no need for him to know about my marital status, right?”
“You want to keep your marriage a secret?” Xu Yanhuan’s eyes showed a hint of danger behind his glasses.
“How could that be? My parents, including Xiaoyi, they all know about us…” Yu Xinqiao was at a loss for words. “I just feel that it’s strange to suddenly tell someone in the middle of the night that I have a married partner.”
“A married partner?”
“Yes, a married partner.”
For the first time, Yu Xinqiao realized how good Xu Yanhuan was at finding faults. He thought to himself, no wonder he’s skilled at finding loopholes in the courtroom, it’s like a well-practiced tactic.
Xu Yanhuan’s expression eased slightly. He glanced at the time and said, “It’s too late today. Let’s tell him tomorrow.”
Yu Xinqiao felt relieved as if granted amnesty. He turned to run but was pulled back by the hood of his pajamas by Xu Yanhuan and lightly bumped into his warm chest.
“…Is there anything else?”
“Let’s sleep together tonight.”
Yu Xinqiao’s throat went dry, and he stuttered, “W-why?”
“Exercising the rightful privileges of a partner.” Xu Yanhuan looked at him, expressionless, and said, “And, I’m not in a good mood.”
“…”
Every reason was legitimate, making it impossible to refuse.
Mainly, Yu Xinqiao felt guilty. He had already annoyed the other person, so it was only natural to accompany him to sleep.
Besides, it was the other person’s house.
After Xu Yanhuan finished showering, he came to the master bedroom with a pillow. He saw that Yu Xinqiao had moved his own bedding to the right half of the bed, neatly folding the edges of the blanket, as if drawing a clear line down the center of the bed.
Xu Yanhuan didn’t comment on it and walked over. He placed the pillow at the head of the bed and sat down casually, lifting his long legs onto the bed.
In just a few movements, Yu Xinqiao could sense the regal aura of Empress Xi Fei returning to the palace.
What was the name of Imperial concubine Xie again? Huan Huan?
…What a coincidence.
Yu Xinqiao leaned against the headboard, opened a music score, and read half a line, but his gaze uncontrollably drifted to the left.
Xu Yanhuan was also reading a book, “Chinese Law and Chinese Society,” the one he had taken from under the pillow in the master bedroom earlier.
Could it be true that they had really slept together before?
It was still hard to imagine.
After a chaotic day, as midnight passed, Yu Xinqiao yawned.
He closed his book, placed it on the bedside table on the right side, and turned to see Xu Yanhuan also putting down his book.
Then he lay down calmly.
Without covering himself with the blanket.
Yu Xinqiao turned off the reading light and lay down, slipping into the warm material of the bedsheet and duvet, which he liked because it was very cozy.
In the quiet of the late night, he could hear the breathing of the person next to him clearly.
Unable to resist any longer, Yu Xinqiao spoke in the darkness, “What about your blanket?”
As expected, Xu Yanhuan hadn’t fallen asleep. He replied softly, “No need.”
The early mornings and evenings in the capital were chilly in April. Yu Xinqiao didn’t know if Xu Yanhuan also slept without a blanket when he was alone, but at least in Yu Xinqiao’s presence, he had to eliminate any possibility of catching a cold.
There was a rustling sound as Yu Xinqiao divided the blanket in half and covered Xu Yanhuan with it.
As the blanket was lifted, a warm and fragrant mixture of shower gel infused the air and reached Xu Yanhuan’s nose, causing his body to stiffen.
Almost immediately after the blanket, still warm from body heat, was draped over him, Xu Yanhuan, who had been lying flat, suddenly turned over and his arm naturally wrapped around Yu Xinqiao’s waist.
Yu Xinqiao gasped for air. He was still lying on his side, but now he couldn’t lie back because his waist was held tightly.
Before he could react, Xu Yanhuan’s face approached in the darkness, and his dry, warm lips first touched his cheek, then the corner of his lips. Finding the perfect position swiftly, he kissed him without hesitation.
This kiss was longer than any they had shared before, perhaps because they couldn’t see, and the night quietly slowed down time.
When they parted, Yu Xinqiao struggled to control his breathing, but he was still panting heavily.
Xu Yanhuan was also breathing heavily, even more so than usual.
Their bodies were pressed so close together that it was impossible to ignore certain sensations.
In truth, Yu Xinqiao was not a very conservative person, nor was he inexperienced. When he first discovered his attraction to men during his youth, he had researched some knowledge online. While he didn’t have much practical experience, his theoretical knowledge was solid.
Moreover, at their age, who hadn’t taken care of themselves?
Feeling uncomfortable, Yu Xinqiao moved his body and asked, “Should I help you…”
“No need,” Xu Yanhuan’s voice was hoarse. “Just stay as you are.”
This made Yu Xinqiao tense all over, and he didn’t dare to breathe too heavily. He muttered quietly, “I’m not staying like this on purpose.”
Xu Yanhuan didn’t want to hold back either, but it was too late, and both of them had work the next day. Xu Yanhuan himself would be fine, but Yu Xinqiao was a musician, and his physical condition determined his performance state. He didn’t want Yu Xinqiao to blame him afterwards.
If he let himself go, he didn’t believe he would still have control.
Yu Xinqiao had been busy all day and was already exhausted, so he didn’t have the energy to think about anything else. Therefore, his body’s response came and went quickly.
He yawned again, instinctively seeking warmth and unconsciously snuggling into Xu Yanhuan’s embrace.
“Xu Yanhuan,” he called out Xu Yanhuan’s name with half-closed eyes. “In the future, how would you like me to introduce you to others?”
Xu Yanhuan endured the discomfort but held the person in his arms tightly. “Whatever.”
Yu Xinqiao scoffed, “If I introduce you as my friend, you still won’t be satisfied.”
At this moment, Xu Yanhuan felt that Yu Xinqiao resembled a small dog rubbing against the legs of a human, even though he knew it would make people allergic, he couldn’t bear to push him away.
“Do friends kiss?” Xu Yanhuan couldn’t help but soften his tone. “Do friends sleep in the same bed?”
“They don’t kiss, but what’s wrong with sleeping in the same bed?” Yu Xinqiao said. “In high school, when Xiao Yi and the others came to my house to hang out, we often lied on the same bed and played games.”
In the darkness, Xu Yanhuan’s face turned dark.
“Not anymore.”
“What do you mean ‘not anymore’?”
“I mean you can’t sleep in the same bed with other people.”
“Is this another prerogative of being a partner?” Yu Xinqiao grumbled dissatisfiedly. “You’re so domineering.”
Xu Yanhuan chuckled softly. “You’re just realizing it now?”
That night, Yu Xinqiao fell asleep first and woke up the latest the next day.
On their way to the rehearsal hall, Xu Yanhuan reminded him repeatedly not to linger outside after work and to not open the door to strangers when he got home.
Yu Xinqiao nodded in response to each reminder and then clasped both hands together, palms facing Xu Yanhuan, making a bouncing gesture. “As a law-abiding citizen, I have no enemies. Xu Lawyer should be careful.”
When they arrived at their destination and Yu Xinqiao got off, he took a few steps away and then returned, tilting his head by the car window. “Xu Lawyer, you still haven’t told me how I should introduce you to others.”
After the topic had been diverted last night, followed by falling asleep, it was not easy to remember the content of the conversation upon waking up.
Yu Xinqiao had intended to brush off this matter, so he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of contacting Xie Ming’an for an explanation. However, he forgot how intelligent Xu Yanhuan was. How could he not see through his intentions?
“I told you last night,” Xu Yanhuan said calmly. “Did you forget?”
Yu Xinqiao was dumbfounded. “No way, how could I have no recollection at all?”
“Think about it carefully,” Xu Yanhuan said before leaving. “Make sure you explain it clearly to someone surnamed Xie. I’ll be inspecting at night.”
Yu Xinqiao: “…” Help, it would have been better not to bring it up.
Today, they had a rehearsal with the orchestra at the rehearsal hall in the northern part of the city.
Their manager, Liang Yi, and the head of the orchestra were both present, one fearing that their “artist” would make a mistake, and the other worrying about the decline in the memory-impaired musician’s performance level. After exchanging pleasantries, they sat down with their own concerns, creating an unusually tense atmosphere.
Fortunately, everything went smoothly. Despite the amnesia, Yu Xinqiao hadn’t forgotten his skills, and with the rigorous practice he had done recently, his performance was outstanding
. The only minor issue was his coordination with the orchestra, which could be improved with a few more rehearsals.
They finished before three o’clock in the afternoon, still early. Liang Yi hurriedly left, saying, “I have to cook for that otaku guy at home.”
Yu Xinqiao was surprised and exclaimed, “Uncle is still at your place?”
Liang Yi responded with a “Hmm” and said, “He said he broke up with his girlfriend and doesn’t want to go back to the place of heartbreak for now.”
“…So it seems he treats your place like his own.”
Before leaving, Liang Yi wanted to call a car for Yu Xinqiao, but he refused, saying, “I can take a taxi myself. I may have lost my memory, but I’m not mentally impaired.”
He wanted to wander around alone for a bit.
On the way here in the morning, he looked through the car window and saw the Baihualin neighborhood by the road, right near the rehearsal hall. Thinking that he used to drive out from here before losing his memory, Yu Xinqiao couldn’t help but want to explore.
It was a sunny day today, with gentle winds and fresh air.
As he walked to the entrance of the Baihualin neighborhood, Yu Xinqiao stood by the wall and looked inside. Sure enough, he spotted a small group of slender and straight birch trees on a low slope in the neighborhood.
The neighborhood seemed a bit old. The exterior of the buildings was damaged, and the cement roads were worn and uneven. Yu Xinqiao remembered that these low-rise five to six-story buildings used to be quite common when he was young, but they were gradually replaced by tall high-rises.
Old neighborhoods like this usually didn’t have security guards. Yu Xinqiao hesitated at the entrance, debating whether he should go in and take a look. Suddenly, he heard a female voice.
“Xiao Yu?”
He turned his head and saw a plain-looking woman in her forties approaching with a shopping bag. After confirming that it was Yu Xinqiao, she appeared somewhat surprised and said, “Why do you have time to come here today?”
Yu Xinqiao stared at her for a moment and then remembered, “You’re… Aunt Bai Wei?”
Bai Wei felt quite honored, thinking that Yu Xinqiao had come to visit her. They entered the neighborhood together, heading towards a five-story building. Bai Wei led the way, occasionally looking back and saying, “The corridor in our building is dark, and the neighbors tend to pile things up here. Watch your step.”
Yu Xinqiao made a sound of acknowledgment and dodged left and right to avoid getting dusted with various miscellaneous items.
Once inside the apartment, Bai Wei brought the groceries into the kitchen and busied herself for a couple of minutes before coming out with a plate of fruits.
“I didn’t know you were coming, so I wasn’t prepared.” Bai Wei awkwardly placed the plate in front of Yu Xinqiao on the table. “These are Red Fuji apples from my hometown. Give them a try.”
Yu Xinqiao picked up an apple, took a bite, and smiled as he commented, “Very sweet.”
Bai Wei smiled too and said, “I knew you loved apples. Back when you were in school, the apples Xu Yanhuan brought home were all given by you, right?”
Yu Xinqiao was taken aback and asked, “He told you?”
“I guessed it,” Bai Wei said. “When you came to our house back then and stayed overnight, I could tell that Xu Yanhuan treated you differently than others.”
Yu Xinqiao was skeptical. “Is that so? But that time was just an accident.”
“Yes, he had never brought anyone home overnight before. After all, our place is small, and he doesn’t even have a proper room,” Bai Wei reminisced, feeling a mix of emotions. “He never said it, but as
a mother, I could sense how strong his pride was. So at least in his eyes, you were different.”
They chatted for a while, and Yu Xinqiao could confirm that Bai Wei was unaware of his memory loss.
It seemed that Xu Yanhuan hadn’t told her.
Bai Wei, like an ordinary mother, chattered happily upon seeing her child. When asked about the past, she gladly shared more stories.
“Back then, my family was poor. I didn’t finish high school and came to the capital to work. I became an apprentice in a textile factory and learned a trade. I worked there for over twenty years.”
Bai Wei mentioned that she had the day shift today, so she came back earlier. Yu Xinqiao looked at the photo frame in the living room cabinet, and Bai Wei smiled and said, “It’s the wedding photo we took with your Uncle Wang. We didn’t plan on it, but Xu Yanhuan said that even if it’s a second marriage, it should be done properly. Why not leave a memento?”
Yu Xinqiao’s impression of Bai Wei remained six years ago, but fortunately, the Yu Xinqiao who hadn’t lost his memory didn’t have much interaction with this side of the family, so Bai Wei didn’t suspect anything. Instead, she enthusiastically shared more stories with him.
“Xu Zhen… is Yanhuan’s biological father. He used to work in the capital and later returned to Xuncheng to settle down. I was already pregnant at that time, so I quit my job in the capital and went back with him. But I didn’t expect that he didn’t have a house in Xuncheng; instead, he had a bunch of gambling debts.”
Yuxinqiao knew some of the subsequent events. Yanhuan had a tough childhood. Besides working odd jobs here and there, he often fell into the clutches of loan sharks. Yuxinqiao had witnessed him being surrounded by them on at least three occasions.
While it was illegal for the son to pay the father’s debts, it was still prevalent in society. As long as Yanhuan didn’t sever ties with Xu Zhen, he would forever live under the shadow of being the “son of a gambler.”
But blood ties were predetermined and not easily severed.
“Then… I mean, where is Yanhuan’s biological father now?” Yuxinqiao asked.
Bai Wei was surprised that Yanhuan hadn’t mentioned this to him. She thought that since they had been married for less than half a year, it was normal not to have discussed these settled matters.
She explained to Yuxinqiao, “During our senior year in high school, it should have been the second semester, a lawyer surnamed Lu heard about our situation and took the initiative to help us with a lawsuit… During that time, Xu Zhen went crazy. When he came back, he would beat me if he couldn’t get money. He beat me so severely that I had to be hospitalized. That’s when Lawyer Lu found a way to help us get rid of him.”
Yuxinqiao figured that the lawyer surnamed Lu was probably Lu Meng, the director of the Xingchen Law Firm. He sighed with relief and suddenly understood the meaning behind Yanhuan’s mention of “being both an elder and a friend” and seemed to grasp Yanhuan’s reasons for choosing to study law.
Six years ago, Xu Zhen was sentenced to prison for intentional injury, and Bai Wei and Yanhuan finally found peace.
“Fortunately, Yanhuan is not like his biological father. He is diligent, hardworking, and genuinely kind. I believe that even heaven couldn’t bear to see him wasted and granted us mercy,” Bai Wei said.
At this point, Bai Wei’s eyes were teary. Yuxinqiao comforted her, saying, “Yanhuan is doing well, thanks to your guidance. It’s because of you that he has become so outstanding.”
Bai Wei nodded and continued, “Later, he came to the capital to study, and I also returned to the capital to find work nearby, at a textile factory. Then, through a mutual acquaintance, I met Lao Wang. He was middle-aged, widowed, and had no children. He treated us sincerely and kindly.”
It was just a glimpse of the opening in the clouds, nothing more.
Yuxinqiao felt as if he had experienced the rise and fall of those years. Although some things could only be truly understood through personal experience, his current heartache was genuine.
Wiping away the tears from the corners of her eyes, Bai Wei embarrassedly said, “I’m sorry. Talking about the past… made me emotional. I must have looked ridiculous.”
Yuxinqiao assured her it was fine and redirected the conversation back to the present.
Bai Wei’s smile returned, and she said, “Actually, I often wanted to visit you both, even if it was just to bring you a plate of dumplings. But Yanhuan wouldn’t allow
it. He said you were shy and didn’t like being disturbed. Lao Wang also said that young people should live their own lives, so I rarely contacted you.”
Yuxinqiao couldn’t help but notice Bai Wei’s politeness and eagerness, even a hint of trying to please. He thought to himself that at twenty-four years old, he really didn’t know how to handle things, making the elders worry so much.
He then proceeded to update Bai Wei on Yanhuan’s recent activities, including the cases he had been working on.
When Bai Wei’s expression changed upon hearing about a case involving a sixteen-year-old boy who severely injured his father due to enduring domestic violence, Yuxinqiao noticed.
He also mentioned that Yanhuan took on the case pro bono. Bai Wei sighed and said, “No wonder he took that case.”
Yuxinqiao didn’t understand the meaning behind her words, and Bai Wei was unaware of his memory loss. She continued, “He must feel pity for that boy. After all, there are many people in the world who have had similar impulses, but very few are as fortunate as him to encounter someone like you.”
“It was you who stopped him and saved his fate.”
That day, Yanhuan came home late, around eight o’clock. On the table, there were dumplings.
The shape of the dumplings was extremely familiar, and he recognized their origin at a glance.
Yuxinqiao heard the noise and came out of the room, pulling Yanhuan to the dining table. “Let me heat up the dumplings for you.”
Yanhuan didn’t sit down; instead, he said, “I’ve already eaten.”
“Okay then, I’ll put the dumplings in the refrigerator, and we can have them tomorrow.”
Yuxinqiao went into the kitchen, put plastic wrap over the bowl, and heard footsteps approaching from behind.
“Did you meet my mom?” Yanhuan asked.
“Well, we finished work early today, and by chance, we bumped into each other while strolling around, so we chatted for a while.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Not much, just exchanged some recent updates about ourselves.”
Xu Yanhuan didn’t ask any further questions. When Yu Xinqiao heard him turning around, seemingly about to leave, he quickly put down what he was holding and reached out to stop him.
Even though he had rehearsed the words several times, it still felt difficult to say them out loud.
Yu Xinqiao asked, “Do you know that before I lost my memory, I came out from your mother’s house?”
Xu Yanhuan stood still for a moment, held by the corner of his clothes, but he didn’t answer.
Yu Xinqiao sighed, “It seems like I know why I sent that message to you when I was twenty-four.”
“Let’s forget about it.”
Before, he had always thought that twenty-four-year-old Yu Xinqiao wanted to give up because of disappointment. He even doubted Xu Yanhuan’s motives for marrying him.
Most people would have made the same assumptions. But the truth proved that eighteen-year-old Yu Xinqiao was wrong. He had misjudged Xu Yanhuan’s feelings for him and later underestimated his own persistence at twenty-four.
“I…”
Just as he was about to tell the person in front of him about his discovery, that figure suddenly turned around, grabbed his arm forcefully, and pulled him into an embrace.
“Don’t speak, don’t tell me,” Xu Yanhuan’s voice trembled slightly. “I don’t want to know.”
Yu Xinqiao took a deep breath but felt like he was inhaling not oxygen but the accumulated dust of many years.
It made his chest feel stifled, an indescribable discomfort.
He finally began to understand Xu Yanhuan’s restraint and the fear hidden deep in his heart, the fear that arose from the fear of losing.
In this embrace that made his chest ache.
“Okay, I won’t say it,” Yu Xinqiao repeated, not wanting him to be afraid. “If you don’t want to hear it, I won’t say it.”
Like a person struggling to survive in a narrow gap, breathing was difficult, yet he still reached out with both arms and held onto the cliff tightly.
“But Xu Yanhuan, why don’t you have confidence in yourself?”
Yu Xinqiao tried hard to make his tone sound light, but tears still fell and landed on Xu Yanhuan’s shoulder.
Thus, the inquiry turned into a confession.
“Why can’t you believe that twenty-four-year-old Yu Xinqiao still loves you just like when he was eighteen?”
——————–
If you can’t understand this part, it’s okay. Everything will become clear in the next paragraph of the memory.
Therefore, the next memory segment is very important, and I highly recommend reading it.
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EuphoriaT[Translator]
Certified member of the IIO(International Introverts Organization), PhD holder in Overthinking and Ghosting, Spokesperson for BOBAH(Benefits of Being a Homebody), Founder of SFA(Salted Fish Association), Brand Ambassador for Couch Potato fall line Pajama set.