After many years, when Qi Wang recalled the past, many details had become blurred, like looking through a layer of fog, unable to see clearly.

When he was bought by Li Weicheng, he was too young, and even though he cried incessantly at first, he gradually forgot that his name wasn’t originally Li Xuyang.

But perhaps his remaining memories always reminded him that the two people in front of him were not his biological parents. As he grew a little older, he distanced himself from Li Weicheng and Luo Yingjia, not speaking much and not liking to be around them.

Over time, Li Weicheng and Luo Yingjia also grew impatient, thinking he was an unmanageable troublemaker.

Originally, life was bearable. Although Li Weicheng and Luo Yingjia were indifferent to him, even making him wear thin clothes in the dead of winter, they could still provide him with shelter and meals, keeping him from being homeless.

But when he was seven years old, something happened that caused a sensation in Wudashan Town and directly changed his life.

“When I was seven, Luo Yingjia eloped with someone,” Qi Wang said calmly. “It was a big deal at the time, everyone was talking about it. Li Weicheng, originally a jobless thug, relied on his parents’ house and land for a living. He either drank or idled around, all depending on the income from Luo Yingjia’s small barber shop. But her elopement not only embarrassed Li Weicheng but also deprived the family of its main source of income.”

From that day on, his life took a turn for the worse.

Luo Yingjia didn’t like him either. When he had a high fever, she would lock him in the house, and once she suspected him of stealing from the house, she tied his hands and threw him into the yard. But compared to Li Weicheng later on, that was nothing.

Without Luo Yingjia, the family suddenly faced difficulties, but with some savings and by renting out their fields, they could still get by.

However, Li Weicheng’s temper got worse and worse, and eventually, it was directed at Qi Wang.

Qi Wang lost count of how many beatings he endured.

He was too young at the time. Regardless of what kind of person he would become in the future, facing an adult like Li Weicheng as a child was like facing death.

What left the deepest impression on him was perhaps a snowy day when Li Weicheng made him kneel on broken beer bottles, cutting his knees into a bloody mess, but the blood froze into scabs in the icy snow.

That’s why he had so many scars on his body.

That’s why he was so sensitive about being touched by others.

Looking back now, he was lucky to survive. There were several times he thought he would die under Li Weicheng’s fists, but he somehow stumbled through.

But Qi Wang skipped over these details lightly. He said to Yu Nian, “When Li Weicheng was drunk, he would occasionally hit me. I was still young and couldn’t fight back, so I always tried to stay away from him. I always thought back then, it would be better if Li Weicheng died.”

Qi Wang’s voice grew colder, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

In front of Yu Nian, he had always been gentle and restrained, almost without a hint of hostility, more composed than any gentleman with a respectable education.

But now, a hint of coldness appeared on his face, as if he had returned to the winter nights of years past.

He said, “When Li Weicheng died, maybe I would have been even more helpless and would have ended up on the streets, but I seemed not to care.”

As Qi Wang said this, his gaze remained on the dilapidated courtyard, as if he could still see himself standing outside the door, reluctant to go in.

Children are powerless like this.

No freedom, no strength, just at the mercy of others. Growing up was a distant word for him at that time, and he even felt he couldn’t wait for that day to come.

He said softly to Yu Nian, “I know my thoughts were terrifying for a child, because I once thought Li Weicheng was my biological father, but I couldn’t help but think that way.”

For a child like Yu Nian, who grew up in a warm family, this was probably unimaginable.

In fact, he could have hidden his dark side, like before, concealing it and maintaining the image he had in Yu Nian’s heart.

But he still said it.

Yu Nian’s breath in the car sounded a bit heavy.

He lifted his hand and gently touched Qi Wang’s neck. There was a scar there, long, as if it were about to split his throat.

When they first met, this scar was already on Qi Wang’s neck.

He had once thought it was from fights Qi Wang had been in over the years.

But now, his voice trembling, he asked, “Is this from your childhood too?”

Yu Nian’s fingers were slender and soft, like a feather brushing over the Adam’s apple.

Qi Wang’s arm stiffened for a moment, hesitated for a few seconds, then nodded stiffly.

Yu Nian’s hand trembled.

He didn’t ask how it happened. Such a long scar, so deep, almost aimed at Qi Wang’s life.

He remembered when they first met, he accompanied Qi Wang to the clinic to stitch up the wound. Qi Wang didn’t even flinch, as if he was naturally insensitive to pain.

But how could someone be naturally unafraid of pain?

Yu Nian’s chest felt tight, almost unable to breathe. Though he knew Qi Wang’s wound wouldn’t hurt anymore, he still seemed afraid of hurting him.

He asked softly, “And then what? When did you escape from this place?”

Through mountains and rivers, they arrived in C City.

“When?”

Qi Wang grasped Yu Nian’s hand, which Yu Nian wanted to withdraw, gently rubbing his knuckles.

“I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I met a retired art teacher who was the most influential person in my life during those years. Every weekend, I would go to his house. He taught me how to paint, how to play chess, without charging any fees, instead providing me with shelter.”

Actually, he felt ashamed at the time. He knew he was taking advantage of the old man. He had no way to repay the teacher, except for doing some cleaning, ultimately benefiting for free.

But those few hours of respite and the tranquility in that old house were too tempting for him. He urgently needed a refuge, so he could only muster the courage to climb that floor time and time again.

“That teacher’s name was Shen Chao,” Qi Wang’s gaze grew heavy. “He passed away when I was fourteen. I attended his funeral and met his children. His children were as upright and kind as him. They said Teacher Shen left something for me to accept and open later.”

“When I went back, I found it was several thousand yuan Teacher Shen left for me, so I could have some money on me and not be bullied all the time.”

Qi Wang paused there.

It was foggy, and despite the headlights being on, the visibility was low.

He stared ahead into the mist, as if he could still see the always smiling old man.

In fact, the teacher wanted to take him into his home later, but he firmly disagreed, and the idea was dropped.

“He was a very good person,” Qi Wang reiterated, “truly very good. If I hadn’t met him, maybe I wouldn’t be like this now. Later… during the years I was abroad, I sent some money to his children and helped his grandchildren a bit. But Teacher Shen himself never saw what I look like now. Until now, I don’t know if he would think I turned out the way he expected.”

Yu Nian could feel Qi Wang gripping his hand tighter.

Qi Wang’s voice was faint, but upon closer listening, it seemed to echo like a flute in the wind.

Yu Nian lowered his eyes, but he also firmly grasped Qi Wang’s hand back.

Any words of comfort would be pale, but he still said, “he would, he might even think you turned out better than he imagined.”

He had heard Qi Wang mention this Teacher Shen several times, but it was always vague. Today, he finally understood how they met.

And from this sentence, he vaguely guessed Qi Wang’s subsequent choices.

Qi Wang continued, “His children left after the funeral, and I couldn’t find them. Later, with the few thousand yuan in hand, I didn’t bring anything else, took advantage of the early hours before Li Weicheng woke up, and walked out of Wudashan Town. That was the easiest morning of my life. When I left, I hadn’t thought of anything, I hadn’t left this place before, I didn’t know what the outside world was like, I even doubted I might die outside, but I don’t regret it.”

“Later events, you know them. I wandered all the way to C City, spent two years wandering outside, got a fake ID, took the name Qi Wang, went to many places, got cheated out of money, slept under bridges, worked on construction sites, got into fights, threatened bosses with knives for unpaid wages. If you had met me those years…”

“If you had met me…”

Qi Wang turned his head, lifted his eyes, and looked at Yu Nian.

“You’d better stay away from me,” he said softly.

Back then, he was even more of a troublemaker than he was at seventeen or eighteen. A child raised in a violent family, then living on the streets, any semblance of decency imparted by Teacher Shen was quickly erased.

He said, “I don’t even want to remember those two years myself. I did a lot of bad things. It wasn’t until I got into trouble and was taken to the police station, then sent to the welfare home for not being sixteen yet, that I had never had a normal, stable life. I bit my lip and lost my memory at the time, and didn’t remember where home was. Li Weicheng probably didn’t even report me missing, so I was able to settle in C City.”

“The welfare home helped me get a new ID. I went to school, but I didn’t get along well with my peers. I kept to myself, until I was disciplined and suspended from school, and didn’t make any friends. From fourteen to eighteen, my life could only be described as full of misconduct, and when I was nineteen, I met you.”

Qi Wang looked at Yu Nian.

After so many years, he still clearly remembered the scene of seeing Yu Nian sitting by the piano when he pushed open the door.

Yu Nian was like a beam of sunlight falling into the room, easily illuminating everything around.

He even remembered that there was a pot of jasmine by Yu Nian’s piano, with dark green branches and leaves, emitting a faint fragrance. It hadn’t even bloomed yet, but when Yu Nian looked at him, he felt as if the jasmine was in full bloom.

At that time, he would never have known that he would be entangled with Yu Nian for a lifetime, but that didn’t prevent this scene from being deeply imprinted in his mind.

Even now, as he looked at Yu Nian, he felt that Yu Nian was softer and purer than the jasmine.

He raised his hand and touched Yu Nian’s cheek as if touching a flower.

He said, “Yu Nian, my past can only be described as full of misconduct. I know you would say it’s not my fault, but these things did happen to me.”

“I grew up in such a violent family, without any kind guidance, fighting, deceiving, hiding—I did everything. So, when your brother and sister came looking for me, I recoiled.”

“Actually, they aren’t really bad people. They probably haven’t told you, but I’ve actually been to the police station several times, leaving behind quite a few bad records, which led to me being suspended from school.”

“I’m such a person, with such a background, in such an environment, I’m really not compatible with you, who have always been protected. I was only twenty at the time. If I had stayed by your side, I would have been a stain on your life. Although I left Wudashan Town far behind, no one can guarantee that Li Weicheng and Luo Yingjia won’t come looking for me. Your brother and sister haven’t found out about my full background yet, but maybe one day they will.”

Which family could tolerate having someone like me by your side?

Even I can’t.”

So he left Yu Nian.

Yu Nian was absolutely right. When he left, he had already unilaterally decided to give up their future together.

They shouldn’t have a future. He, with such a bad track record, wasn’t qualified to be Yu Nian’s life partner.

That was his thought back then.

Qi Wang saw Yu Nian’s eyes reddening, tears brimming in his eyes, a slight movement of his eyelashes causing tears to roll down and drip onto his hand.

Clearly, he was the one narrating, but he remained calm throughout.

It was Yu Nian instead, his brows furrowed in pain, lips pale, trembling, unable to speak.

His past seemed to have turned into arrows, all piercing into Yu Nian’s heart.

He raised his hand to wipe away Yu Nian’s tears, feeling the heat; his hand was almost burning from the tears.

He whispered, “If I could go back now, I would never leave you. But at twenty, I… I didn’t have that confidence. I was raised by Li Weicheng and Luo Yingjia. Even though I’m not their biological child, I inherited their coldness, selfishness, violence, and paranoia. Many times, I would dream that I turned into Li Weicheng, turned into an alcoholic, savage, violent person.”

“I never felt that I deserved you. Even now, I feel that the eight years you waited for me were too much, you clearly had so many choices.”

Qi Wang’s finger paused at the corner of Yu Nian’s eye.

Yu Nian silently shed tears.

Even though he had grown up so much, becoming an elegant and composed adult, charming in every move, when Yu Nian looked at him with tears in his eyes, it was as if he had returned to that night eight years ago in the guesthouse in Jiangyang County.

So many years had passed, but Yu Nian remained the same.

No matter how disgraceful he had been, no matter how he described himself as a mess.

Yu Nian always wanted to be close to him.

Qi Wang said, “Yu Nian, you made me realize that there is someone in this world who loves me unconditionally. No matter what I look like, whether I’m good or bad, down and out or in glory, they will love me.”

“I still don’t know if I’m a good person, but as long as you look at me, I feel that my existence in this world is meaningful.”

At twelve, he looked at the river and thought of suicide.

At twenty, he discovered that his biological parents had died because of his disappearance, feeling as if life was an endless path of suffering.

But now he was sitting opposite Yu Nian.

Outside the window was cold and damp, with mist enveloping everything. This Wudashan Town was still as gray and lifeless as he remembered.

But he thought, if he had to find meaning in his life.

Then all the hardships of his first half of life, all the vicissitudes, all the luck he had expended, perhaps it was all just to exchange for Yu Nian.

He leaned over and gently kissed Yu Nian’s tear-stained lips.

It tasted bitter, even a little sour.

He whispered, “You are the greatest luck in my life.”