The little monk Lian Qing who successfully rescued the princess was beaming with pride, holding the princess who was dressed in elegant palace attire, and running towards the entrance of the zoo. It seemed as if he was afraid that if he ran too slowly, he wouldn’t be able to get the prize and eat hotpot and barbecue.
The princess was clearly struggling to keep up with him and couldn’t help but shout, “Stop, stop, I can’t run anymore!”
It was then that Lian Qing realized that the princess was already panting heavily. He was puzzled and asked, “Sist… Princess, your stamina is so poor?”
“Do you think I have superhuman strength like you, able to uproot trees with my bare hands?” The princess glared at him. “If you don’t know how to cherish and take care of women, you won’t be able to find a girlfriend!”
Faced with the accusing look from the princess, Lian Qing finally woke up to his conscience and cautiously suggested, “Or, shall I carry you?”
The princess replied with a sigh, “…”
“Or, do you want me to hold you?” Lian Qing carefully looked up and down at the princess, and said in distress, “But your dress looks slippery, I might not be able to hold you properly.”
“I didn’t ask you to carry me!” The princess became angry…
Lian Qing was at a loss and asked, “Then, what do you want me to do?”
The princess calmed down and said with a dejected face, “Just walk slower.”
“Oh…” So, walking slowly was considered cherishing and taking care of women? Lian Qing thought it was quite simple.
The two of them slowly made their way towards the entrance, and halfway through, they ran into Luo Zisheng who was coming towards them. As soon as he saw them, or rather, as soon as he saw Lian Qing, Luo Zisheng’s eyes lit up, and he ran over with small steps, trying to flatter him by saying, “Little Monk, you have already rescued your princess?”
Lian Qing proudly straightened his chest and said, “I have! What about you, Brother Luo?”
“Wow, you’re really amazing! I haven’t even gone in to rescue the princess the director assigned to me because she’s with the gorilla. I’m scared of it and don’t have the courage to go in.”
“Brother Luo, you need to be stronger. The audience will be watching you, and you should set a good example for your fans by overcoming difficulties and pushing yourself!” said Lian Qing, looking like he was counseling an immature child.
The camera crew: “This sounds familiar…”
Brother Luo was stunned for a moment and then said helplessly, “Wasn’t the animal they assigned to you the one you’re most afraid of?”
“Yeah, it was a snake, but I bravely overcame my fear!” Lian Qing said, patting his chest. “Now that I think about it, I was really brave! If my master knew, he would be proud. And my junior apprentice brother would definitely admire me if he found out! Hmm, I have to write to them and tell them about this!”
The camera crew thought to themselves, “It’s like they never tried to persuade him at all!” But they decided to let it go and talk to the director later. They would put the footage of them trying to persuade the little monk, as well as his proud appearance now, together and see if he would still brag about it in the future.
Brother Luo and the princess exchanged a glance, and seeing that she was already unable to contain her laugh, he knew that the little monk’s performance at the time had nothing to do with “bravery.”
He held back his laughter and continued, “Well, I can’t do it. I really don’t want to face the gorilla. I was originally planning to see which animal your princess was trapped with so we could switch. Who knew you had already rescued her…”
“What?” Lian Qing looked confused. “Can we still switch? And do we get the prize back if we do?”
“Yes! The director only said that we had to rescue our own princess, but didn’t say that we had to do it ourselves,” said Brother Luo, not paying attention to the mention of the prize. After speaking, he patted Lian Qing’s shoulder and shook his head, saying, “You’re too naive. You have to learn how to fight with the director’s team.”
Lian Qing’s eyes were slightly red with a look of grievance as he nodded his head. He blamed himself for being too naive, never expecting that he could still exploit a loophole in the rules! Even though he was now happy with the fifteen boxes of milk and a meal of hot pot and barbecue, he would have willingly given up these things if he had known earlier that he could have traded them with others.
Luo Zisheng cajoled him, “Little Monk, how about you help me out? Let’s form an alliance, and I’ll remember you for any good things that come up in the future. I’ll help you out, how about it?”
With his eyes still red, Lian Qing looked up at him and asked, “Will you give me your prize?”
Luo Zisheng was puzzled for a moment and asked, “What prize?”
“The milk. The director said that each person who saves the princess gets two boxes of milk.”
Luo Zisheng suddenly realized and said, “Oh, that. . .”
“What about it?” Lian Qing looked at him strangely, feeling that Luo Brother was acting weirdly. How could he forget such an important thing?
Seeing the suspicion in the little monk’s eyes, Luo Zisheng smiled to himself. Who among them would have taken the director’s words seriously? Two boxes of milk were only worth a small amount of money, and they were all just joking around at the time. If it turned out that the director wouldn’t give them the milk, he could just secretly give Lian Qing some money to make up for it.
Thinking this way, Luo Zisheng readily agreed, “Deal. As long as you help me save the princess, I’ll give you all two boxes of milk!”
Lian Qing immediately smiled brightly and said, “Deal! Let’s go, Brother Luo , lead the way!”
The two of them walked towards the other side, chatting and laughing. Meanwhile, the rescued princess was left behind, forgotten. She sighed sadly and followed them under the camera crew’s sympathetic gaze as she resigned herself to her fate. She thought to herself that this little monk must be poisonous. Even Luo Zisheng, who was usually very emotionally intelligent, had forgotten about her existence.
Luo Zisheng brought Lian Qing to an iron fence and pointed inside, saying, “Look, my princess is over there.”
Lian Qing looked closely and saw an elderly lady sitting on a big rock, wearing a peach-colored skirt and playing with a small monkey with a twig. Nearby the big rock, two gorillas were gathered around another rock, doing something unknown.
Lian Qing took the key from Luo Zisheng and opened the lock on the iron fence. He then walked lightly into the area and straight to the rockery.
He opened his mouth and said to the elderly lady who was playing with the monkey, “Auntie…”
“What auntie? Call me sister!” The lady looked up and glared at him.
Lian Qing, who was scolded, looked at the middle-aged woman in front of him and reluctantly said, “Sister.”
“Ah, so obedient!” The lady changed her fierce appearance and looked at Lian Qing with kindness before saying, “Young man, you look much better than that other guy just now, and you’re much braver too.”
“Thank you, aun…sister.” Lian Qing smiled embarrassedly and asked, “Sister, can you come out with me?”
“I can’t. Look at my feet, there’s an iron chain on them. I can’t get out without it being unlocked,” the lady said, lifting her skirt to reveal the iron chain on her ankle.
Lian Qing knew this trick; he had encountered it before. He remained calm and asked, “Sister, where is the key?”
The lady pointed to the two gorillas behind her and said, “They’re playing with it.”
Lian Qing said thank you and ran over to observe. He found that the key was stuck to a stone, and the two gorillas were patting it with their palms. He politely said to the two gorillas, “Can you give me the key?”
The lady shouted from behind, “They can only understand simple words, they don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Okay…” Lian Qing pointed at the gorilla’s feet and said, “Give it to me, okay?”
The two gorillas glanced at him and ignored him, continuing to take turns hitting the stone key with their paws as if it were a fun toy.
Lian Qing frowned, stood by for a while, and finally reached out for the key when the gorilla changed hands. In a flash, he had the key in his hand.
Without hesitation, he turned around and ran towards the old lady princess, quickly reaching her side. He bent down, aimed the key at the iron lock, and opened it.
Meanwhile, the two gorillas continued to play their game, seemingly unaware that the key was missing.
Lian Qing continued to struggle with the lock, which was just as difficult to open as the one he had encountered in the snake pit earlier.
The old lady was not one to tolerate boredom, and while Lian Qing was unlocking the door, she couldn’t help but chat with him.
“Young man, you’re really handsome. Do you have a girlfriend?”
Lian Qing replied quietly, “No.”
“Then let sister introduce you to someone, okay?”
“No need, sister. I’m a monk.”
Through the iron fence, Luo Zisheng shouted, “Didn’t you already return to secular life?”
Lian Qing was stunned for a moment, “Oh, right! I forgot again.” In the past two years, every time he went down the mountain and met the aunties and grannies who knew him at the foot of the mountain, they would often say similar things to him. And every time he refused them, he would use the excuse that he was a monk. Over time, he didn’t even need to think about it, and the words would just come out of his mouth.
He shook his head, “Sister, I’m not interested in dating at the moment.”
“Oh, okay.” The old lady was a bit disappointed but soon started talking about something else. “You are really skilled to be able to snatch the key from them!”
“Sister, please don’t talk to me right now. I need to focus on unlocking the door. Otherwise, if those two gorillas react, we’ll be in trouble.”
The old lady sighed and nodded, no longer bothering him.
In no time, Lian Qing unlocked the door. He helped the old lady and was about to leave, but before they could take two steps, the little gorilla that the old lady was playing with earlier suddenly screamed and pulled at the princess dress the old lady was wearing.
Lian Qing knew something was wrong and turned around to see that the two gorillas had already become aware and were quickly running toward them. At the same time, there were cries of alarm from Luo Zisheng and the filming crew outside.
Lian Qing hurried to speed up, but the auntie couldn’t run fast! They were soon blocked by the two gorillas.
Lian Qing instinctively protected the auntie behind him and cautiously watched the tall gorillas.
The gorillas stared at him for a while, baring their teeth and suddenly beating their chests wildly with both arms while howling at the sky.
Luo Zisheng and everyone in the filming crew couldn’t help but shout in unison, “Be careful!”
Lian Qing stood in front of the auntie, stomped his right foot on the ground, half-squatted, stretched his left foot forward, and leaned his body forward. He opened his hands, one in front and one behind, in a stance that was both offensive and defensive.
The aunt behind him excitedly yelled, “I know this move, I saw it on TV. It’s called… called the *White Goose Spreads Its Wings! You really were a monk!”
Lian Qing kept his eyes fixed on the two gorillas and corrected the aunt’s words, “It’s the *White Goose Descends on the Beach.”
雁落沙滩(yàn luò shā tān)- I couldn’t find any info on this so if anyone has an idea of what it is comment below.
The aunt quickly corrected herself, “Oh, oh, oh, I got it wrong. Haha, this posture is so cool. I saw an old man doing it on TV last time…”
“Kung Fu is not limited by age, Sister.”
Luo Zisheng and the others outside the fence were all confused. It was clearly a critical moment, so why were they still chatting?
Little Monk haven’t you learned not to mention a woman’s age? It’s taboo! Any woman below 60 is a Sister and above that, it’s when it becomes Auntie.