Chapter 109: Psychological Shadow

Sister Xu knew that situations like this would only become more common, and her work increasingly difficult. But this was a stable job, and she had no choice but to endure the disgust and carry on.

Today’s outburst in the hall was a desperate measure. If she didn’t act tough, she feared more people would ignore the long walk to the dry toilet and simply relieve themselves in the bathroom.

At least there was still some water now. What if the water dried up completely, and someone still used the bathroom? Leave it there to ferment and produce ammonia?

Bi Qiao’an finished her milk tea and decided to wash the cup at home, rather than risk another trip to the bathroom. With a sigh, she stuffed the cup into her bag.

That evening, she found only a thin, unstable trickle of water from the faucet, looking like it could stop at any moment. Bi Qiao’an didn’t dwell on it and simply washed her cup and moved on to making dinner: fish soup, stir-fried broccoli, and steamed rice.

After dinner, she and Shen Yanming relaxed with TV and Weibo. They discovered that water shortages were widespread; only low-lying coastal areas still had an adequate supply.

Netizens also said that their flowers and plants were not doing well. One person checked and found that the soil in the garden was especially dry, obviously the plants were starting to lack water.

Some even posted “before and after” photos of rivers on Weibo: one a wide, flowing river immediately after the rains stopped, the other a pitiful stream.

Looking at these photos, Bi Qiao’an felt a deep anxiety. She turned to Shen Yanming, a troubled expression on her face. “Hubby, how will we manage going to the bathroom when the water is cut off in a few days?”

Shen Yanming seemed puzzled. “Our family has plenty of water. You can still use the bathroom at home.”

“That’s not what I mean. Of course, I can use our bathroom, but I’m scared to use the outdoor dry toilets.” Bi Qiao’an’s embarrassment was evident as she lowered her head, her voice becoming quieter.

Shen Yanming was surprised. He’d expected Bi Qiao’an to find dry toilets unpleasant or inconvenient, but didn’t understand her outright fear. He gently asked, “Why are you scared? What’s there to be afraid of?”

At most, Shen Yanming thought they might be smelly and unpleasant, but not terrifying.

Bi Qiao’an then confessed to a childhood trauma.

It turned out that Bi Qiao’an’s mother had played a trick on her when she was young. Her mother claimed Bi Qiao’an had fallen into a pit toilet as a toddler, and that it took great effort from her parents to rescue her. The little girl, soiled and smelly, had to be washed repeatedly.

Bi Qiao’an, not believing it, cried and accused her mother of lying. However, her father, in a playful mood, confirmed her mother’s story—just to tease his adorable daughter.

The six year old Bi Qiao’an took her parents’ words as truth, the memory lodging firmly in her mind. This single, deceptive sentence became Bi Qiao’an’s lasting childhood nightmare. For years, she dreamt of falling into toilets or feeling paralyzed with fear when she needed to use one.

This was the root of Bi Qiao’an’s strong reaction to the little girl’s malicious act.

It wasn’t until she was eleven or twelve that Bi Qiao’an realized the “falling in the toilet” story was a fabrication. However, years of nightmares had created a lingering psychological shadow.

Even now, Bi Qiao’an often dreamt of urgently needing a toilet. In these dreams, she’d find one but become paralyzed with terror, unable to use it. Bi Qiao’an would either try to hold it, or need someone to support her before she could manage to use the toilet. She often woke up in a cold sweat.

Fortunately, Bi Qiao’an had always used flush toilets at home or in public restrooms, avoiding the dreaded scenario of her dreams.

Moreover, in her previous life, widespread dry toilets hadn’t been constructed in Qinghua. After the water stoppage, people faced the humiliating situation of defecating in the open.

But in this life, Bi Qiao’an neither dared to go to the wilderness to dig a hole to resolve the issue, nor did she dare to go try out the dry toilets to test her courage.

After Shen Yanming heard Bi Qiao’an’s story, he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Even after knowing each other for so many years, he didn’t know Bi Qiao’an had this little secret.

Seeing Bi Qiao’an’s blushing face, Shen Yanming playfully pulled her into a hug. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you solve it!”

Bi Qiao’an looked at Shen Yanming with a hint of doubt, but he remained silent while a mischievous smile played on his lips.

Anyway, the water hasn’t been cut off yet, so they’ll talk about it when the water is cut.

But some things simply cannot be mentioned casually. In fact, as soon as November started, the water supply to the third floor and above was cut off due to insufficient water pressure.

Residents living on the higher floors were all very unaccustomed to this situation. They couldn’t shower or use the toilet, and they had to carefully budget their water usage.

Since water still flowed below the third floor, those living above discussed the possibility of going to the first and second floors to get water. They were even willing to pay a little extra on their water bills.

The residents of the first and second floors were happy to do this business. After all, the water was flowing regardless. Even if they left it in the pipes, it wouldn’t belong to them, and who knew when the supply would run out? It was better to use it to earn some extra money now.

Shen Yanming also went along with this trend and bought a lot of water from the first floor. He and Bi Qiao’an became very frugal with their water usage, acting like ordinary people. They saved the clean water used for washing vegetables to reuse for watering plants and flushing the toilet.

However, their efforts were short-lived. After only buying water from the first floor for two days, the water supply to the entire Qingyu Community was cut off.

In fact, the water situation wasn’t unique to Qingyu Community. It could be said that the entire Hai City had its water cut off. The only places that still had water were probably village households with deep wells or those living near deep pools in the remote mountains or forests.

Shen Yanming and Bi Qiao’an decided that they needed to live a very low-key life from now on. Therefore, they didn’t dare to keep themselves too clean.

The morning after the water was cut off, Shen Yanming and Bi Qiao’an didn’t even wash their faces. They simply brushed their teeth and went to work with messy hair and dirty faces.

The office bathrooms had been locked up a few days ago. If you needed to use the toilet, you could only go to the nearby dry toilets.

To avoid using the toilet, Bi Qiao’an didn’t eat or drink much during the day.

The cafeteria had also closed a few days ago due to the water stoppage. Everyone brought their own meals to work. Additionally, the cafeteria had previously provided microwaves for free so employees could heat up their food.

Shen Yanming and Bi Qiao’an brought only dry food daily. They didn’t bring dishes with many ingredients. They would put their lunch boxes into their bags in the morning and eat cold rice and dishes at noon. Then, they’d take their lunch boxes home to wash them in the evening.

Shen Yanming brought a thermos filled with hot water every day. Bi Qiao’an refrained from drinking water at the office to avoid using the toilet.

Truthfully, Shen Yanming also disliked the dry toilets. However, he wasn’t as averse to them as Bi Qiao’an. So, he essentially used the thermos alone.

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Translator’s Notes:

I really like the snippets from their past, Qiao’an’s especially. I can relate. When I was five or six years old, my mom once said I was not their baby and that they picked me up from ox manure when passing by the road. (Our residence back then was in the countryside, and this is a running joke at my place, because ox shit is pretty big.) Even my siblings said the same. Even though back then I vehemently defended that I’m a bonafide daughter of my mom and dad and not a pick-up from shit, I also nearly believed them. Whenever I look at ox shit, I remember this memory. See how deep the shadows go.

Seriously, don’t fool kids.

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