My new found condition put a lot of stress on my mentality and made it so painful to go to school, my hands would even shake in the morning when I woke up and changed into my school uniform.
But I couldn’t tell my parents that.
I just endured and endured, thinking that I would only make them unnecessarily sad. My psychological disorder made my estrus period even more unstable, causing a vicious circle.
It was Raizo-san who helped me through it all just like as an adviser.
He patiently listened to my troubles, especially the ones I couldn’t talk share with anyone, comforted me and sometimes even used harsh words to reason with me.
Raizo-san, who told me that the world is full of unfairness, but that I still to live in it, was the same man who had worked hard to recover from the injustice of losing his beloved in a sudden accident. His words thus felt more persuasive.
After working hard at getting into rehabilitation to set an example and as a father of twin boys, Raizo-san recovered his health and returned to work. He was finally able to live independently and leave our home.
The day before he moved out, Raizo-san gave me a protector collar as a present.
“Look, here. See? There’s a thin piece of metal inside. With this, no matter how hard you get bitten, it’s still safe. You don’t have to be afraid of the presence of someone behind you anymore, and you can go to school in peace.”
The beige fabric was made inconspicuous to match my skin color.
Back then, I hated standing out more than anything else, and was terribly sensitive about appearing special in the eyes of those around me.
Looking back now, I feel I was being too self-conscious about it, but that’s how distressed I was at the time.
I knew an Omega girl, who went to the same school as me; she used to wear a protector collar to school after her first heat.
People around her made fun of her, saying “no one would attack you”, so I stubbornly refused to wear a protector even though my parents suggested it.
I think Raizo-san probably had it custom-made for me, because most of the ones on the market are black, brown or white, and I didn’t see many beige ones.
The first time I tried it on, it felt good to the touch and fitted perfectly around my neck, with metal clasps to adjust the length.
“Wakaba, I have a promise for you. You may be having a hard time now, but only until you graduate from secondary school.”
“How do you know that?”
I frowned at Raizo-san, who confidently declared this.
Back then, Raizo-san was the only one I could express my feelings to without concealment, so I had been spoiled, and I was becoming more and more selfish.
The recovered Raizo-san was a confident, well-spoken person with a slightly wicked vibe, as if the weak appearance he had when he came to this house was a lie.
From my point of view, I was surprised at how much he had changed, but from my mother’s point of view, she seemed to feel that he was finally getting back to his former self, and she was happy to see him smiling and laughing particularly when he would break out into one of his famous Raizo jokes.
Because Raizo-san was such a cool person, I didn’t have to always be the good boy, and I could talk about the things that made me angry or depressed at school freely and without being embarrassed about them.
I was able to let out the feelings that I couldn’t express to my mother and father because I was afraid they would feel sad if they knew about it, so conversations with Raizo-san were like a tranquilizer for me.
“You are going to apply to a private high school. That high school is a very respectable school for young lads and lasses from good families.
There are no childish students who would shout “omega” or “in heat”.
Wakaba will meet a lot of friends at that high school and live a fulfilling life.
You’re a hard worker, so you’ll probably enter the University of your Choice and experience a romance or two while in there.
And when you will remember these days, you will be able to laugh it off and say it really was no big deal.”
I wondered if that would be the case.
Right now I’m in a lot of pain and torment and I wish I’d never been born an Omega, but I really wonder if there will come a day when even that will be a laughing matter of the past.
Just like my mum and dad remembering about the day I was born without the heartache.
“And by the way, you don’t have to forgive the guys at school, either.
When someone says something that pisses you off, you can be angry from the bottom of your gut for as long as you feel that way.
I think it’s much healthier than putting up with unreasonable things. Anger is energy. If you don’t even feel it, you’re in trouble.
If you don’t have the energy to even feel anger, just tell me. I’ll take you out whenever you want. I’ll take you to a place where no one knows about Wakaba, where you can live with me, Jin and Zen, and the kids will be happy to get to be with Wakaba too.
It might also be a good idea to beat up the people who drove Wakaba to that point. I’m good at breaking the noses of those who are stubborn, so you can leave it to me with a peace of mind.”
“That’s too extreme.”
Even though I said that, I somehow, I felt lighter.
I’m glad that there are people who think that much about me. I didn’t think that having an escape route when it comes down to it would lighten my feelings this much.
Let’s try a little harder.
It might be good to see if Raizo-san’s prediction really comes true. If it doesn’t happen, then I can ask Raizo to take responsibility for it. I’ll call him ‘no good, a no good prophet’ and get all angry and spoiled.
When I imagined Raizo-san apologizing with a troubled face, it made me laugh, and for the first time in a long time I was able to laugh from the bottom of my heart.
“You laugh, but I’m serious. Today, too, the children insisted that they wouldn’t go unless Wakaba-chan was with them.
However, if I ask Wakaba to come, I’m sure you’ll be reluctant to agree and your mom will also beat me up if I bring the matter up.
But I’m sure both of the twins would be happy if Wakaba came.
And I must admit that if Wakaba was around, I’d be able to go to work with a peace of mind too.”
I finally burst out when Raizo-san spoke so deliberately while glancing at me.
“Pfft, hahaha, Raizo-san, you’re so obvious. But I won’t go.
I’ve just decided that I’m going to do my best. I’m looking forward to going to high school to see if Raizo-san’s prediction will come true.”
“’Well, that’s a pity. Anyway, you can always come to me if you need it. I’m fully prepared to accept you.”