Chapter 2 – The Important Matter of Love Settings

After going through various procedures, Zhou Ziyi finally succeeded in adding President Yan’s secretary to his list of friends… as a good friend.

As a 35-year-old elite young lady, she reluctantly took on the responsibility of being the “proxy” for Yan Xiuzhi’s fake marriage, along with the other three participants: the fake couple themselves and “Magpie” Tang Shirong.

Being President Yan’s personal secretary was already busy enough for her, and now she had to assist him with the fake marriage arrangement, which was truly a pitiful situation. Therefore, it was normal for her to be too busy to attend to certain small matters at times.

Zhou Ziyi: [Sister Fei, how should I fill out this questionnaire? (Screenshot)]

Amidst the chaos, Secretary Li Fei received Zhou Ziyi’s message and felt overwhelmed. However, she couldn’t ignore this message from her “future official boss lady,” so without even opening the screenshot, she quickly replied: [Whatever you want.]

Zhou Ziyi confirmed again: [Really?]

Li Fei: [Absolutely!]

“Wow.”

Zhou Ziyi looked at the message on his phone and then at the document on his laptop screen, sighing in admiration, “I can’t believe I can just fill it out casually…”

This document is none other than the “Couples’ Profile Form” that Li Fei previously sent, which is the “mutual information to memorize” mentioned by Yan Xiuzhi a few days ago. Zhou Ziyi highly doubted whether President Yan would bother memorizing his profile since he found it a waste of time to spend five minutes meeting someone. However, despite his internal scepticism, Zhou Ziyi still planned to fill out his profile seriously – and truthfully, otherwise he wouldn’t even remember it.

However, after receiving the template, Zhou Ziyi went through it and felt that something was off.

The first part consisted of tables and fill-in-the-blank sections, which seemed fine. But the second part turned out to be a series of 50 questions and answers. Zhou Ziyi searched online and realized that the first part was like a “celebrity profile” form, including trivial details like favorite color, food, plant, and so on.

Surprisingly, the second part was a compilation of “50 Questions on Couple Compatibility.”

Zhou Ziyi looked at some of the hidden questions and twitched his mouth.

[Where is your favorite place to make love?]^[1]买可乐(mǎi kělè) On the surface, it means I want to drink Coke, but in fact the English homophony becomes make love. Buy Coke(mǎi kělè) = make love, which is the homophonic pronunciation of … Continue reading

[What is your favorite position to make love?]

[What is the most memorable time you have made love?]

After going through this series of questions, Zhou Ziyi almost didn’t recognize the word “buy coke” ^[2]买可乐(mǎi kělè) On the surface, it means I want to drink Coke, but in fact the English homophony becomes make love. Buy Coke(mǎi kělè) = make love, which is the homophonic pronunciation of … Continue reading anymore.

He suspected that these were questions mistakenly put together by Li Fei, so he took a screenshot and asked Li Fei for confirmation. However, as Li Fei was busy, she thought Zhou Ziyi was asking because he didn’t know what to fill in, so she casually replied, “Fill it in however you want.”

The heavens above, if Li Fei had carefully read through these two questionnaires, she would never have left such embarrassing questions on them.

Asking about the president’s fetish? She hasn’t gone crazy!

But things just happened this way, by a stroke of bad luck, the only chance for redemption that Heaven gave her was mistakenly let go by her. How regretful it is, can only be said later.

Now, let’s talk about Zhou Ziyi. He questioned his souls of the row of make love, and his souls wandered for a few minutes. Finally, he wiped his face and opened a webpage… and watched a few “instructional videos”.

The first time watching instructional videos of the same sex, just to fill out a survey, who would believe it if it were said? Ah?!

“No choice! I don’t know how men do it with other men!” Zhou Ziyi hypnotized himself in this way, restraining the urge to close it, and carefully watched it till the end. During that time, he made countless exclamations like “Hmm,” “Huh?!” and “Damn,” and took numerous notes. Those who didn’t know might think he was preparing to enter the industry.

However, as everyone knows, the most diligent note-taker is not necessarily the one who can solve problems.

Zhou Ziyi closed the instructional video and thought in his mind: I’ve got it!
Zhou Ziyi opened the questionnaire, and his hand said: No, I don’t.
“Damn, it looks painful, how do I make it sound more enjoyable?!” As long as he tried to put himself in the shoes of a character from the instructional video, he felt a tingling sensation on his scalp. Pondering for a while, examinee Zhou Ziyi, finally decided to plagiarize the content of the gentlest piece he had just watched.”

——Christmas, night, gifts…

Perfect setting! Just write it like that!

The next day, in a hurry, Li Fei sent all the documents she hastily prepared, including the “Marriage Agreement” and “Pre-nuptial Agreement,” to Zhou Ziyi. In return, Zhou Ziyi sent her a completed “Couple Profile Form.”

Li Fei was surprised: [You finished it? Did you fill it out seriously?]
Zhou Ziyi: [I pulled an all-nighter to answer the questions, a sincere masterpiece, flawlessly done!]
Li Fei opened it on her phone, quickly scrolled down, checked that all the questions were filled in, and then closed it—then forwarded it to Yan Xiuzhi.
At that moment, Li Fei didn’t know yet that in the future, she would long for time to rewind and chop off the hand that forwarded it.

At that moment, Li Fei only added one more message: [CEO Yan, Zhou Ziyi has completed the questionnaire, and I have also sent him the contract.]

After a while, Yan Xiuzhi replied: [It’s a day late, urge him to take a look quickly.]

Li Fei thought to herself, ‘Didn’t You delay the contract review for a day?!’ But as the secretary, she could only reply: [Alright.]
So, as a third party, the secretary turned around and urged the party B: [Mr. Zhou, please speed up the process a little!]

Zhou Ziyi was scolding the screen in his heart, but the reply in his hand only had two words: [Okay.]

Party B is so humble.

Zhou Ziyi grabbed Tang Shirong to look at the contract.

Tang Shirong surrendered, saying, “Ziyi, even I haven’t passed the college exams, how am I supposed to help you? I don’t even know how to change punctuation!”

Zhou Ziyi pointed at himself and said, “I dropped out.”

“Well, you also dropped out of E Country N University, can we even compare?” Tang Shirong said, “This contract has gone through the hands of Li Fei and Yan Xiuzhi. Can the two of us, mere amateurs, understand anything? I can’t, but if you can, go ahead.”

Zhou Ziyi tapped on the printed text and asked, “So, we won’t even look at it? Is this how you introduce business to me, Brother Tang?”

“Hey, the way you’re talking to me, it’s like treating me as a scam artist,” Tang Shirong sighed, “I’m just taking a gamble here. Yan Xiuzhi is not a bad person, he has always been upright since childhood. Even if he tries to deceive you, it won’t be a major deception.”

Zhou Ziyi replied, “I don’t want your opinion, I want mine.”

Tang Shirong asked, “Then, what do you think?”

Zhou Ziyi stared at the text for a while, contemplating, and then said, “I can understand it… I think it’s reasonable.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“There’s nothing I don’t understand.”

“Well then, that settles it!” Tang Shirong slapped his thigh. “If you understand everything, why hesitate? Today is the day, let’s make a decision!”

Zhou Ziyi sighed softly, “I’m afraid I didn’t understand the pitfalls in it.”

“Fine, we’re back to square one.” Tang Shirong leaned back against the sofa, glanced around, then suddenly tilted his chin towards a corner. “Or, ask your parents.”

Zhou Ziyi followed his gaze, and at the end of his line of sight were two memorial portraits. In front of the portraits was an incense burner, and on either side were electronic lighting lamps.

Tang Shirong took out a chip from his pocket and handed it to Zhou Ziyi. “Go ahead, throw it in front of uncle and aunt. If it lands face up, sign the contract; if it lands face down, don’t sign. It’s all fate.”

Zhou Ziyi rubbed the chip. “Why do you carry this with you?”

“It’s been kissed by the goddess of luck, you wouldn’t understand,” Tang Shirong smiled and waved his hand. “Go quickly, seize the moment. But before you throw it, don’t forget to ask the question in your heart.”

Zhou Ziyi stood up and walked to the memorial portraits. First, he replenished the incense, then he held the chip and closed his eyes in contemplation.

After a few seconds, he tossed the chip.

Snap.

The chip landed, and Zhou Ziyi opened his eyes and looked without moving. Tang Shirong, sitting on the sofa behind him, asked, “So, what did uncle and aunt say?”

Zhou Ziyi didn’t answer immediately. Tang Shirong pondered for a moment and had an epiphany. “Hey, Ziyi, it doesn’t matter whether the chip landed face up or face down. Just think about what you were thinking when you threw it. If you were thinking positively, then sign the contract. If you were thinking negatively, brother here will help you apologize to Yan Xiuzhi. Don’t worry about changing your mind at this point.”

Zhou Ziyi stood still for a moment, took a deep breath a few times, and without revealing whether it landed face up or face down, picked up the chip and handed it back to Tang Shirong.

He said, “I’ll sign!”

Tang Shirong put away the chip. “Okay, brother will help you plan your wedding!”

The next day, Li Fei received Zhou Ziyi’s response: [Finished reading it, we can sign.]

Li Fei thought it was quite fast and gave an address: [You can sign and send it back to me. I’ll send you the signed copy later.]

Zhou Ziyi replied, [No, I insist on doing it in person.]

Li Fei thought he meant delivering the contract in person and asked, [Should I come to you after work? It’ll probably be done by 7 or 8 pm. Give me the meeting address.]

Zhou Ziyi: [I mean the face-to-face interview.]

Zhou Ziyi: [Sister Fei, you can’t be the one signing the contract with me, right? ]

Zhou Ziyi: [I also want to discuss with Mr. Yan about the setting of our love story. Initially, I didn’t plan to go so deep, but filling out that form gave me a hint. It’s not reasonable without the twists and turns of meeting, knowing, falling in love, and killing each other!]

Li Fei: [Killing each other?]

Zhou Ziyi: [Oops, that was a slip of the hand. Anyway, I think I need Mr. Yan’s help with these little scripts. Can you do it Sister Fei?]

“…”. Just by imagining the scene of Zhou Ziyi and Yan Xiuzhi being in love, and the scene of Yan Xiuzhi tenderly speaking sweet words, Li Fei couldn’t help but shudder.

Li Fei: [Alright, I’ll go and ask.]

However, three minutes later, Li Fei, standing in the president’s office, received a cold response: “Face-to-face interview? No time.”

“Um…” Li Fei hinted, “Mr. Yan, we probably don’t need to work too late tonight…”

Yan Xiuzhi’s gaze tore away from the documents and he glanced at Li Fei: “No time for that either.”
Li Fei continued, “What about the setting of the love story?”
Yan Xiuzhi replied, “I filled out the questionnaire for you today. Just have him memorize it.”

“…Okay.” Li Fei turned around and started walking out, taking out her phone along the way to prepare a reply to Zhou Ziyi. However, as soon as the screen lit up, she noticed another message from Zhou Ziyi.

Zhou Ziyi: [Since you guys will be done around 7 or 8, should I make a dinner reservation and wait for Mr. Yan?]

Li Fei stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Mr. Yan, Mr. Zhou is inviting you to have dinner together tonight.”

Yan Xiuzhi didn’t even lift his head. “I’m not going.”

Li Fei glanced at the newly received message, made up her mind, and forwarded it: “Mr. Yan, Mr. Zhou has already forwarded the address of the reserved restaurant to you.”

Yan Xiuzhi replied, “Get out.”

Li Fei hurriedly left.

At 7 o’clock in the evening.

Yan Xiuzhi pressed Li Fei’s intercom button. “What is that pile of conversation records you forwarded to me?”

Li Fei replied, “Mr. Zhou is waiting for you at the restaurant and has started setting up the love story for the two of you when he had nothing else to do. He sent it to me, so I forwarded it to you.”

Yan Xiuzhi said, “Tell him not to wait for me, I’m not going, and don’t send me any more messages!”

Li Fei: “Okay.”

At eight o’clock in the evening.

Li Fei entered the CEO’s office to have Yan Xiuzhi sign some documents. She said, “Mr. Yan, Mr. Zhou has been waiting for you in the restaurant for two hours.”

Yan Xiuzhi almost dropped his pen in disbelief. He said, “Didn’t I ask him to leave?!”

Li Fei took out her phone and started mass forwarding messages. She said, “No, he has shared an astonishing and heartbreaking love story with me. He keeps sending me different versions. First, he sent me the version where he accidentally dropped something on the roadside and almost got hit by your car when he went to pick it up. He wanted you to think it was a setup…”

Yan Xiuzhi wanted to tell her not to forward it, but before he could say anything, he heard a notification sound from his phone. Li Fei had already finished forwarding the messages.

If Li Fei decided not to forward it to Yan Xiuzhi, she couldn’t tolerate being harassed for more than two hours.

The key point is that Zhou Ziyi’s literary skills are quite impressive, and the story is really captivating, which affects her work.

Li Fei added, “There’s also a story that happened in the bar restroom…”

Yan Xiuzhi stood up abruptly and said, “Stop sending those messages.”

“Give me the contract. I’ll go meet him,” he said.