Ji Chenai’s name has always been considered as a very strange name.

When a child was born parents would always put something meaningful when naming their child. But Ji Chenai¹, how could a parent give their child with such name with bad meaning?

Ji Chenai also asked his mother this question, and his mother’s answer was at that time the name decided for him was Ji Zengan². But when they register the name somehow it was registered wrong, and since it was too much to change his name, they decided to go with it.

Ji Chenai was a good boy, so when faced with this somewhat ridiculous explanation from his mother, he actually put up with it.

Ji Chenai’s mother was Chen Shuya. In the view of modern morality, she was a mistress. But behind that standard morality called ‘mistress’, she was a miserable woman for being forced as one.

Ji Mingzhong, Ji Chenai’s father was a very fickle man, when he and Chen Shuya were together he never mentioned that he already had a family. Only after Chen Shuya was eight months pregnant with their child did he tell Chen Shuya the truth—not only did he have a wife, but his oldest son was already in elementary.

Chen Shuya then at that time cried black and blue³, but no matter how hard she cried, life must still go on. Also after all, Chen Shuya’s temperament was very amiable. Well, to put on a nice way amiable was the nice word but bluntly she was called a coward.

She had already fallen out with her family in order to give birth to Ji Chenai, and at this time faced with Ji Mingzhong’s sworn promise, she has compromise.

The only thing she could be thankful for was that Ji Mingzhong’s wife died in an accident soon after. And when Chen Shuya the ever submissive mistress replace the dead wife, came to the Ji house with Ji Chenai who was only a year old.

So from the young age, Ji Chenai began to live in the Ji family.

When Chen Shuya enters into the room, Ji Chenai was reading on his wheelchair as the sun shines through the curtain with mottled spots hitting Ji Chenai’s side profile setting off an extraordinarily peaceful look.

Chen Shuya’s footsteps paused for a moment, as there was a slightly hesitant expression appeared on her face.

Ji Chenai heard Chen Shuya’s footsteps, he put the book back and raised head.

“Mom, what’s the matter?”

Chen Shuya wanted to reveal a smile, but when the light swept on Ji Chenai’s leg the smile completely vanished. She said.

“Xiao’er, your father asked me, to let you consider going abroad for treatment?”

Ji Chenai looked at Chen Shuya with his very calm eyes, only until he saw that Chen Shuya was a little uncomfortable did he lowered his head and said.

“Mom, I don’t want to go abroad.”

Chen Shuya opened her mouth, and swallowed back the words she wanted to say. She told him instead.

“I don’t want you to go abroad as well….well your father is only thinking about you… you this…”

At this point she herself felt that it was inappropriate to continue and just laugh twice awkwardly before she got up and left.

How could Ji Chenai not know what his mother’s words mean? He just simply hated Ji Chenai for being disable, losing Ji family’s face.

The seventeen year old Ji Chenai seems to have disregarded and abandoned by his family after being partially paralyzed.

And because of this paralysis he was always subjected to ridicule.

Looking at the close door, the smile on Ji Chenai’s face was replaced with despair.

The next morning the four family members of the Ji family sat together for breakfast.

Ji Suming, Ji Chenai’s older brother was five years older than him and has just graduated from college this year. He also just had begun to manage some family matter of the Ji family.

He never liked Ji Chenai, this half-brother of his and almost regarded him as thin air. And after Ji Chenai’s disability his treatment against Ji Chenai has intensified.

Although Chen Shuya was a step-mother, she was very kind to Ji Suming. That is if we talked about being a person then undoubtedly she was a good person, but in terms of motherhood she was not qualified.

For example, right now Chen Shuya was nagging Ji Suming while pouring him a cup of coffee and reminding him to be careful while driving, completely ignoring Ji Chenai who was sitting at the same table, eating the bread in silence.

After Ji Suming finished eating, he respectfully bid his goodbye to Ji Mingzhong before he got up and leave to work. There were only three people left at the table.

When Ji Mingzhong saw that Ji Suming had left, he put down the newspaper he was reading and said to Ji Chenai.

“Xiao’er, I heard from your mother that you don’t want to go abroad? Can you tell me why?”

Ji Chenai eating the bread pause and lowered his head slightly.

“I, I am not familiar with foreign countries.”

Ji Mingzhong said.

“The rehab technology abroad is much better and your English is not bad either. Just go and make a good effort, it should be better than what you are now.”

Hearing what Ji Mingzhong said, Ji Chenai’s blood cool off. Ji Mingzhong’s words were beautiful to listen to but in fact with his financial capability, it was very easy for him to hire the best foreign rehabilitation therapist.

But instead he wanted Ji Chenai go abroad alone.

Ji Chenai raised his head and looked at Chen Shuya who smiling while eating her porridge and then looked at Ji Mingzhong who seemed to be looking at him gently. He then said in a low voice.

“I don’t want to go.”

Ji Mingzhong eyes were immediately cold but he did not say anything and instead did not continue eating, he just directly got up and left.

Chen Shuya called.

“Mingzhong aren’t you eating?”

Ji Mingzhong replied.

“I can’t eat.”

Ji Chenai squeezed the spoon in his hand tightly then lowered his head not wanting Chen Shuya to see his expression.

Chen Shuya said.

“Chenai, you are a good boy but why are you so stubborn this time? Listen to your father, isn’t going abroad better? You…..”

Ji Chenai interrupted Chen Shuya.

“Mom, I’ve been a good boy, but now what?”

Chen Shuya was dumbfounded, she had some panicked look in her eyes but soon suppressed it with a forced smile as she said.

“Chenai….it was just an accident.”

Ji Chenai refuted.

“An accident? I need to pay so much for this accident?”

He was only seventeen years old and was about to face the most important college entrance examination in his life. If he hadn’t been injured in the accident, he would have been sure of getting into a top university in the capital, but now, he had nothing left.

Not only did he become a laughing stock to the outside world, but he was also completely abandoned by his family.

Chen Shuya moved her lips, but finally said nothing. She grew up teaching Ji Chenai to be a good person, to see the righteousness, to be honest and kind but now reality hit her hard.

Ji Chenai then said again.

“Have they ever visited me?”

Chen Shuya knew who Ji Chenai was talking about and said.

“Maybe they don’t know….”

Ji Chenai looked at his mother, and suddenly feels that something in his body was completely cold. His mother has always been a small woman, she was just full of love. She would donate money when she see tragic things, and when she sees injured animal she would take them home or to rescue center. But why was she so cruel to her own and only son.

Chen Shuya doesn’t want to look at Ji Chenai eyes again. She gets up in a hurry and says.

“I’ll go see you father.” Then she left.

Ji Chenai looked at her departing back and finally his eyes started accumulating tears that slowly fall on the table. He buries his face in his arm as his shoulder trembled in silence.

After all, he was only a seventeen year old boy, and after his painful cry, he paddled his wheelchair back to his room.

Originally he was living on the second floor, but because of his spinal injury the room was moved to the first floor.

With difficulty Ji Chenai opened the door and paddled his wheelchair back to his room.

Just after entering the door, the mobile phone placed on the bed happened to ring. Ji Chenai picked it up and check who called only to find that it was his good friend.

He slid to answered button, a teenage boy’s voice came from the other end of the line and he said.

“Chenai, come out and playah, I haven’t seen you for a long time.”

After Ji Chenai was injured he has not been in contact with the outside. At this time hearing the invitation of his friend, his originally heavy mood gets better. He said.

“It is not convenient for me now….”

The boy laughed

“It’s okay, I’ll pick you up with my car. Just wait.”

Ji Chenai thought about it and finally gave an “en.”

A few minutes later, the sound of honking sounded at the door of Ji Chenai’s house. The latter pushed open it and see his friend standing in the living room waving towards him.

Ji Chenai said.

“Yi Wenle, you’ve come to fast.”

The boy called Yi Wenle smiled and said.

“I happen to be in your neighborhood and just wanted to play with you.”

Ji Chenai looked at his leg then nodded.

Yi Wenle pushed Ji Chenai’s wheelchair out the door, then carried him to the car and put the wheelchair in the trunk.

Ji Chenai who was now sitting on the passenger side watched as Yi Wenle also got into the car.

After Yi Wenle started the car, he casually asked.

“Have you received the compensation?”

Ji Chenai replied.

“I don’t know… it was my dad who handled it.”

Yi Wenle snickered.

“Your father? Just your father? Ha, I can see that he is not treating you like his son but then again—Chenai ah I have said this several times, do not be so enthusiastic… this is not…. Ugh.”

Ji Chenai’s eyes were a little blank.

“Am I really wrong?”

Seeing this Yi Wenle unable to bear the look on his eyes, he reached out his hand and patted his shoulder, comforting him.

“You are right, what is wrong is the world.”

People like Ji Chenai were fit to live in a utopia or be protected otherwise one day, sooner or later they would be hurt.

Yi Wenle change the subject.

“When are you going back to school? There are still six months before the college entrance exam, so don’t fall behind in your courses.”

Ji Chenai was silent for a while before he whispered.

“Maybe… I won’t come anymore.”

Just in time the red light signal sign shows up, Yi Wenle also slammed on the brakes and showed a ghostly expression

“Not coming? Are you telling me you won’t be going to school anymore?”

Ji Chenai nodded lightly.

***

Ji Chenai¹-季 (ji) season; the last month of a season; fourth or youngest amongst brothers; classifier for seasonal crop yields, 尘埃(chen) ­- dust; dirt; earth

Zeng An²-曾 (Zeng/Ceng) once; already; ever (in the past); former; previously; (past tense marker used before verb or clause) 谙 (an) to be versed in; to know well

black and blue³-昏天黑地 lit. dark sky and black earth (idiom); fig. pitch dark; to black out; disorderly; troubled times