“Students, class is over,” Su Lixu announced, picking up his textbooks to leave the classroom. Then, as if remembering something, he glanced back at the room.

“Class monitor, come with me to the office.”

Zhao Ziyi the class monitor, called out, was about to approach when a hand firmly pressed on his shoulder. Confused, he looked up to find it was Fu Xingran.

“I’ll go in your place,” Fu Xingran said to Zhao Ziyi and quickly followed Su Lixu.

Class monitor Zhao Ziyi looked puzzled. “?”

What is this guy up to again?

“Old Zhao, do you remember the last time we accidentally saw the man on Fu Xingran’s phone wallpaper in the dorm? He said it’s his boyfriend.”

Zhao Ziyi turned to his roommate Zhuo Yi. “Vaguely remember it was a good-looking man, but I forgot the details. What’s the matter?”

Zhuo Yi whispered, “It seems to be Teacher Su.”

Zhao Ziyi widened his eyes, as if realizing something significant. “No way, how is that possible? Teacher Su?! Can someone like Fu Xingran have someone liking him with this personality?”

“Who knows.”

In the corridor..

“Teacher Su!”

Su Lixu halted and turned around at the call behind him.

The guy who always appeared in front of him was now wearing a pure white sweater, the sunlight outside the corridor falling on him, warm and dazzling, much like his radiant smile.

In a moment of shock, the boy’s face overlapped with the blurred memory in Su Lixu’s mind, but it didn’t really match, at least not the smile.

Trying to shake off his confusion, he asked the smiling boy,

“Are you the class monitor?”

“I’m Fu Xingran.”

Su Lixu froze.

In the busy corridor, standing in the middle was quite awkward, and many curious gazes were directed at them. However, he suddenly had no time to care about that because his mind went blank for a moment upon hearing that name.

“Dr. Su, do you remember me?”

Su Lixu stared at the boy in front of him.

“You’re… Xingran?”

He never expected that the boy who always appeared in front of him was Fu Xingran. He thought the boy was just overly friendly, not realizing he was trying to catch his attention.It wasn’t that he forgot; it was that Fu Xingran had changed so much.

This boy… how could he forget.

Fu Xingran was his first adolescent psychiatric patient when he just started working at the mental hospital after graduation. At that time, the medical records already confirmed borderline personality disorder, requiring inpatient treatment.

Later, due to some circumstances, the treatment was not continued.

He was surprised that after so many years, the slim child from back then had grown so tall and handsome in the blink of an eye, completely devoid of the disdain and fear that once filled his eyes towards the world.

Looking at him now, calling out to him, his smile radiating warmth, and his eyes shining and beautiful.

It seems like he encountered a better teacher abroad to help him.

He gently smiled, “Xingran, long time no see, you’ve changed so much I almost didn’t recognize you, my apologies.”

Fu Xingran felt the heart in his chest, silent for four years, come alive completely when he heard Su Lixu calling his name.

Once, the repeated calls in his mind were fantasies, but he couldn’t control them, fantasizing that Su Lixu was still by his side, never left.

Otherwise, how could he have survived until now?

His palm was damp, his heart swollen with soreness, his gaze fixed on Su Lixu, “I should address you as Teacher now.” He said, approaching Su Lixu, “Finally, I can see you every day, Dr. Su.”

Su Lixu met Fu Xingran’s gaze, a hidden invasion in his seemingly smiling eyes, briefly pulling him back to that night he couldn’t escape.

He instinctively looked away, smiling as he replied, “Yes, indeed, we can meet every day now.”

Stop thinking about it; that incident was an accident.

“Dr. Su, it’s been so long since we met, can I eat and chat with you?”

“Sure.”

Approaching noon, Su Lixu drove with Fu Xingran to a nearby restaurant.

“What do you want to eat?”

Seated in the passenger seat, Fu Xingran stared at Su Lixu’s hand on the steering wheel, too beautiful to look away.

This hand had once fed him medicine, even embraced him when he lost control and attempted suicide, bandaged his wounds. Its warmth seemed to linger on him, slightly cool, like white jade, tempting one to imagine more.

Su Lixu didn’t hear a response; he glanced at Fu Xingran and realized he was staring at the direction of his hand on the wheel. “What’s wrong? Don’t you have something in mind to eat?”

Only now did Fu Xingran snap out of his fantasy, “What?”

“I remember you really liked sweets. Back then, when I asked you to cut down on sugar, you would get upset with me. If you couldn’t have it, you’d even cry.” Su Lixu recalled the events in the hospital room, smiling, “In the blink of an eye, you’ve grown so tall, even taller than me.”

As he spoke, he freed up one hand to open a nearby box, taking out a piece of soft candy.

Fu Xingran was wondering how this man could suddenly disappear and still smile while bringing up their past. Just when he was a bit annoyed, he suddenly saw the candy being handed to him.

It felt like the deepest part of his heart was pricked, then gently caressed.

He had been restricted from eating sweets for a long time, especially soft candies. Soft candies were like an addiction to him, as the inability to have them in the past had left him craving intensely.

When he could finally eat freely, he couldn’t control the urge to consume them recklessly, even if it led to nausea, vomiting, or even stomach ulcers. His father forbade him from eating them when he fell ill, and he threw tantrums, broke things, anything just to satisfy his craving for sweets.

Now he still couldn’t quit sugar entirely, but the addiction wasn’t as strong as before.

Because he now had a different kind of addiction, replacing the temptation of sweets and providing another deadly allure to his mind.

“Teacher Su, why do you have candy here? Do you still remember that I like sweets?”

Su Lixu looked ahead on the road, hearing Fu Xingran’s question. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, hiding the strangeness in his eyes and laughed, “How could I forget? That guy who cried and shed tears just to taste a bit of candy.”

Perhaps it was the man’s voice being too gentle, Fu Xingran felt his hands and heart trembling.It was excitement.

“Can I still have the sweet donuts you make, Teacher Su?”

They were at a red light. Su Lixu slowly stopped the car, and then he felt a hand on his thigh, gently shaking it, with a hint of coquetry. He glanced sideways at Fu Xingran.

In Fu Xingran’s eyes, there was a pleading look as his hand covered Su Lixu’s thigh, “I really want to eat. Can I, Teacher Su?”

Although the child in front of him had grown tall, Su Lixu still felt that Fu Xingran was the same as the Fu Xingran from years ago, unchanged.

Still the clever one who would do anything for what he desires.

Adaptable and cunning, knowing some prefer things soft while others like them hard.

Seeing Su Lixu not responding, Fu Xingran felt a bit anxious. He really wanted it, but he maintained a smile on the surface. “Perhaps Teacher Su is not convenient. Just buy one outside; it’s okay for me.”

“I happened to buy bread flour yesterday,” Su Lixu said with a smile. “Thanks to you for helping me move things yesterday, so consider the sweet donuts a token of appreciation.

In an instant, Fu Xingran’s face lit up with a smile. His eyes were radiant. “Really? So, can I come to your place?”

“Yes, yon can come to my place.”

Fu Xingran withdrew his hand, the hand that had touched Su Lixu, and placed it in the other hand, along with the soft candy. It was as if he had hidden both the sensation and the sweet aroma of the candy, just like how he had hidden Su Lixu.

At the same time, this good news enveloped him with sheer excitement, spreading thoroughly through his body.

His Teacher Su invited him to his home.What would Teacher Su’s home be like?

Would it be filled with the fragrance of August nights, like the feeling of being embraced by Teacher Su?

What would Teacher Su’s room be like?

Would the sheets be dark or light? The bed must carry the scent of Teacher Su. If he lay down, it would probably feel like being embraced by Teacher Su.

Teacher Su was going to make him sweet donuts. Would he wear an apron in the kitchen?

Would the apron be dark or light, have patterns or not? After wearing it, Teacher Su would surely be gentle, like someone preparing a meal for their husband. If he hugged him from behind, wouldn’t it be a tender scene?

If something happened in the kitchen while wearing the apron, would it be an accident?

Just like in the past.

Breathing rapidly, in an extremely excited state, Fu Xingran was completely immersed in his fantasies, completely oblivious to Su Lixu’s gaze.

Su Lixu casually withdrew his gaze.

In the past, Fu Xingran underwent dialectical behavior therapy, aiming to recognize, accept, and change himself. In this treatment process, Fu Xingran exhibited complete self-acceptance and awareness of his actions. However, he enjoyed it and was unwilling to change himself.

So, Fu Xingran’s borderline personality disorder was different from bipolar disorder, with a different duration and less obvious depressive features. Yet, because of this, during the one-and-a-half years of inpatient treatment, whenever the effect seemed to reach the desired outcome, Fu Xingran’s behavior at a certain moment would instantly overturn the positive progress, interrupting the treatment.

Because Fu Xingran fully understood himself and the extent of his condition. He could control himself when he wanted to, lose control when he wanted, make the treatment effective, or render it ineffective.

Psychological disorders are complex, and personality disorders are even more intricate.

Among a thousand individuals with borderline personality disorder, there are a thousand different expressions.Fu Xingran’s emotional dysregulation is severe, but due to his intelligence, his cognition remains clear. He is even obsessed with such symptoms, addicted to immersing himself in this kind of ecstatic madness. When not getting what he wants, he throws tantrums, self-harms, or even desires to destroy the world. Once obtained, he feels as if the whole world is bright and beautiful.

Now, Fu Xingran may seem no different from an ordinary person, but upon closer inspection, he is not the same.

His breathing, excitement, as if anticipating something, revealed a glimpse of the radiant sunlight before him. In the past, it was because of an infatuation with Rf, enjoying the sensation. After obtaining it, he would be like he is now, breathing rapidly, excited to the extreme.

So, what is Fu Xingran excited about now?