Chapter 8: You can’t like other people

Fu Xingran’s arms propped on the shoe cabinet next to Su Lixu, his fingertips against the cabinet door still trembling with fear.

He lowered his gaze, tightly staring at Su Lixu, his eyes moist and reddened: “When I woke up and didn’t see you, I thought you didn’t want me, just like last time.”

Su Lixu looked at Fu Xingran’s nervous and anxious appearance, carrying a strong sense of abandonment…

This is the most prominent symptom of borderline personality.

Coupled with that so-called benevolent lie, after he left, Fu Xingran attempted suicide because he couldn’t accept it, almost not being saved, suddenly feeling suffocated inside.

So, what kind of emotions is Fu Xingran approaching him with now?

“Brother, just hug me.” Fu Xingran, seeing Su Lixu ignoring him, a hint of subtle complexity flashed in his eyes, just a moment.

Then he reached out and tugged at Su Lixu’s clothes corner, trying to redirect Su Lixu’s attention to him.

The light tug on the clothes, subtle movements as if plucking the heartstrings.

Su Lixu met Fu Xingran’s dewy eyes, watching him with longing, even though the tall boy seemed distressed when he didn’t see him.

Helplessly, he moved slightly forward, extending his arms to encircle Fu Xingran’s waist, embracing him, then gently patting his back, comforting, “Aren’t I right in front of you now?”

Su Lixu’s voice echoed in the hallway, a gentle and soothing sound. The back was gently patted, quietly stirring the unspoken secrets deep within.

Fu Xingran hugged Su Lixu, excitement reflecting in his eyes from an angle Su Lixu couldn’t see. His chin rested on Su Lixu’s shoulder, close to his ear, almost touching his face. He pretended to be emotionally low and muffled:”But I really didn’t see you just now.”

This man is too gentle; he can’t handle it.

The slightly cool cheeks unintentionally touched, just at this level, Fu Xingran felt he might not resist again.

Su Lixu, amused by this childishness, couldn’t help but suppress a laugh: “So, you got angry?”

After speaking, he suddenly realized that what he said might be too obvious, no, it might scare his brother.

The atmosphere noticeably fell silent.

Just when Fu Xingran was uneasy, his forehead was suddenly flicked.

“Little brat,” Su Lixu flicked Fu Xingran’s forehead, smiling disdainfully. “Sit tight, I’ll make you some ginger tea.”

Fu Xingran: “…” Covering his forehead, he gazed softly at Su Lixu walking towards the kitchen.

What little brat? He’s not a little brat now.But after some thought, this man really is…

Too innocent.

He chuckled with a lowered head.

The rain intensified, showing no sign of letting up, and Fu Xingran indeed had a fever, 38 degrees, not too high.

Because Su Lixu was the only one living in the apartment, the study was connected to the bedroom, separated by a half-wall. Next to the French windows was a small study, no door, but an artistically designed semicircular arched wall, creating a small partition from the bedroom.

Fu Xingran took the medicine and fell asleep.

Su Lixu watched him for a while before going to the study near the French windows to work on case materials. This was something he did every night.

As a school counselor, he often had students come for consultations. He would write down some of the more unique cases. Previously, his main focus was clinical psychology, but now it was more on counseling. Clinical and counseling psychology were two different directions.

Tonight, he was going to review some old cases.

He inserted a USB drive, with folders containing cases of various personality disorders, each folder having a carefully chosen name. The first folder that caught his eye:

Bipolar Mood Disorder – Mr. Lauren, the peculiar and humorous.

Then, he typed the keyword he was looking for in the search bar: crybaby.

Soon, a folder appeared:

Borderline Personality Disorder – Crybaby Fu Xingran.

Seeing the term “crybaby,” he chuckled, his eyes lowering. Four years ago, he said it was because he was small, but now this guy was twenty years old, tall and usually looked like a sunny and handsome young man. However, when he acted cute and shed tears when feeling wronged, he was still like that child from years ago, yet somehow it didn’t feel out of place.

Maybe it was because he had put a filter on Fu Xingran.

It didn’t feel strange or annoying; after all, he had seen many strange people.

Opening Fu Xingran’s case from four years ago, the first part included personal information and family background. Below were some observations from Fu Xingran’s father about his daily life and Su Lixu’s own observations.

Temper tantrums: loves to cry and make a fuss; must get what he wants, will go to extremes to obtain it, and might resort to suicidal behavior if unsuccessful; extremely picky eater, even showing signs of anorexia; dislikes interacting with people but doesn’t reject it; proud and self-centered, dislikes the world.

So, Fu Xingran’s borderline personality disorder is quite distinct from bipolar mood disorder. Fu Xingran doesn’t have clear signs of depression; his emotions are more direct, evident when happy and quick to anger when not.

At that time, Fu Xingran was well aware of being sick and needed to see a doctor, so he had no resistance to it.

But now, with age, Fu Xingran seemed to have more complex thoughts, increased complications, and a stronger sense of self-esteem, leading him to resist the fact that he was still sick.

From Fu Xingran’s perspective, unknowingly, the so-called benevolent lie made him betray Fu Xingran’s complete reliance on him.Yet, Fu Xingran not only didn’t question him, even after dawdling in front of him for so many days, revealing it only after so many days, he showed no anger about it.

After getting close to him, he could still rely on him as before, as if they had never been apart.

He knew it in his heart, after all, he knew why he left; it was because Mr. Fu proposed to interrupt the treatment. But for Fu Xingran, his appearance should be somewhat annoying. So, why this warmth, clinginess, and enthusiasm now?

Without saying a word, he hung up the phone.

Su Lixu frowned slightly.

Fu Xingran turned Su Lixu’s chair toward himself, then squatted in front of Su Lixu. He lifted his head, “Brother, who was that person?”

Su Lixu silently looked at the young man squatting in front of him, who seemed oblivious to his question.

Seeing Su Lixu not answering, Fu Xingran became more anxious, “Could it be your—”

Boyfriend or girlfriend?

Dr. Su is in a relationship?

Then what should he do?

“It’s your psychology mentor, He Shi. He told me you skipped class.”

Fu Xingran paused, seeing Su Lixu’s expression devoid of the earlier tenderness, there was no trace of the gentle comfort he received moments ago. “Brother…”

He reached out to hold Su Lixu’s hand.

“Also, hanging up my call for no reason. Do you know what you’re doing?” Su Lixu subtly avoided Fu Xingran’s hand.

Now, he wasn’t Fu Xingran’s doctor anymore. It wasn’t possible to establish clear rules with him, but he needed to maintain a firm stance. Indulging and compromising would only make Fu Xingran more oblivious to his issues, thinking he would be perpetually indulged.

“I… I was just worried that you were talking to your lover.”

Su Lixu heard this response and felt somewhat helpless. “Even if that’s the case, can you just hang up on me like that? Xingran, you’re not a child anymore. You need to learn—”

Before he could finish his sentence, he saw Fu Xingran stand up, slightly leaning forward, hands resting on the table, almost enveloping him, casting a dominating shadow over him that was hard to resist.

“No,” Fu Xingran gritted his teeth, staring at Su Lixu with reddened eyes. “You can’t like someone else.”

Su Lixu met Fu Xingran’s almost tearful gaze.

“Why can’t I?”