For some reason I couldn’t sleep well today. I kept on worrying endlessly in my bed. When I was alone, the incident that had happened in the past which caused a chain reaction to the incident that happened today, kept on popping in my head.
I liked to trace back the thought process that had happened like that.
The sin of being late is comparable to that of a murder.
Suddenly that phrase came to my mind. Where did I hear that phrase? If I remember correctly, I must’ve read that in some business book before. As for the meaning of that phrase, it meant that when we were late, we basically stole someone’s time and stealing someone’s time was equivalent to stealing their lifespan.
I always act in consideration of others but of course, when I was alone, I didn’t need to care about anyone else. But, the difference between when I was alone and when I was with other people was really extreme. I could only become selfish when I was alone. Generally speaking, other people were more selfish than me. I was always pushed around by others. In other words, when I was with other people, I was always deprived of my own lifespan.
That’s one of the reasons why I decided that I definitely won’t interact with other people.
A salaryman was the best example for this. I couldn’t help but to feel that the company just kept pushing me for the sake of the company and that the company kept on stealing my lifespan. I was so busy with my job that the time I could spend with my family kept on decreasing. I couldn’t even attend my special person’s important event.
“For the sake of the company.”
I didn’t exactly know the reason why but I continued deceiving myself with that reason and I only finally realized if after I lost the most important thing in my life. And of course I couldn’t turn back time. I couldn’t get the lost time back.
But, Margo, Juno, Sarasa and Elsa were different. They didn’t push each other around. Well, in actuality they might be pushing each other around but it didn’t feel that way to me. Though there was a business side to our relationship, for me it was more like… “I made this thing myself and they just happened to buy it.”
So, I didn’t feel like my time was being stolen by them.
Then, what do I think about Yurina-san?
So far, I didn’t feel like she was the type that pushed others around. Not at all. I think she was a truly kind person who acted with consideration of other people.
I suddenly realized. It was not about stealing someone’s lifespan. It was snatching each other’s lifespan. It was about a destined person, a partner whom we could feel like we were sharing each other’s lifespan.
I couldn’t help but to smile wryly because such romantic words like “destined person” could come out from a self proclaimed lone wolf like me.
T/N: It depends on the sentiment and feeling. Yes, yes.