We Monsters Are Not Allowed to Be Single

This was going to be a sleepless night.

With siren wailing, a Police van drove away with Xu Meifang’s body. After her husband regained consciousness, he was also going to the Police station.

Wang Qin and Zhao Heng stayed behind to take care of any loose end at the scene.

He remained silent for a while after hearing the voice recording Jiang Lan sent to him. His worst speculations about this case were nothing compared with the cold hard truth. The evil of the human heart always went beyond the imagination.

When Jiang Lan found him, he and Zhao Heng were chain-smoking beside a flower bed. Sadness could still be seen on his face when he greeted Jiang Lan.

“We can’t thank you enough. If not for you guys, the truth about her death will probably remain hidden forever.”

Even the Police officers were amazed by Xu Meifang and her friends’ audacity. The scariest thing about the whole thing was that they almost succeeded in covering up the truth.

“It’s our duty.”

Jiang Lan smiled.” I only hope that you could bring justice to her and clear her name as soon as possible. So she may rest in peace.”

“You can count on that.”

After snuffing his cigarette butt, Zhao Heng rose up.” Tan Zhi has already turned herself in and named Xie Guizhen as her accomplice. My colleagues have been to her home.”

“Tan Zhi was in the car, looking a little hysterical.” Wang Qin motioned towards the Police car parked here with his chin. A look of disgust flickered across his face.” Her sense of guilt had probably driven her mad.”

Jiang Lan looked through the car window and could vaguely pick out her figure shrunk into the shadow.

He didn’t tell Wang Qin that her current state was not the result of her sense of guilt. It was the Red Devil Umbrella who drove her crazy.

Among the three people, the main culprit Xu Meifang was dead. One of the accomplices, Tan Zhi, was crazy. There was only Xie Guizhen left. 

Even though she hadn’t made her appearance yet, Jiang Lan couldn’t imagine her to be in better circumstances. 

While they were talking, a group of officers was escorting Xie Guizhen out of the building. Handcuffed, she looked numbed with shock when getting on the van. Her family followed them and tried to talk to the officers in the vain hope that there might be a misunderstanding.

Wang Qin rose up, ready to leave. After a pause, he asked Jiang Lan.”The people behind Chen Ruomei’s death were all accounted for. What about the Red Devil Umbrella…..?

He thought perhaps those Red Devil Umbrellas would be appeased by the arrests they made.

Jiang Lan patted his shoulder.” You go back now. We will take care of the rest.”

At this point, Wang Qin seemed to have total faith in him. He left after reminding Jiang Lan to take care.

Jiang Lan raised his head to look at Xu Meifang’s window.

Those red spores hadn’t dispersed yet, still floating around the windows.

Wang Qin thought that those things were Chen Ruomei’s ghost seeking revenge. Now the culprits were brought to justice. The revenge should reach an end.

But it was not so.

Chen Ruomei was only the beginning of these, and those Red Devil Umbrellas were not acting out of selfless motives. Judging by the floating spores, Jiang Lan thought they hadn’t finished their business here.

Jiang Lan was ready to take a look at Xu Meifang’s home. But because he was now acting the role of a little monster with low cultivation, he couldn’t appear to be fearless in front of Ying Qiao.

He walked over to Ying Qiao, pretending to be curious while being a little afraid. He pointed to the windows on the sixth floor.” Those spores haven’t left yet. How about we go take a look?”

Cheng Hua answered immediately.” Fine, let’s go.”

The Little Monster wants to take a look. How can I say no?

Of course, I can’t.

So Cheng Hua took the lead with Ying Qiao and Jiang Lan following behind shoulder to shoulder. They went to the sixth floor again.

By now, the curious crowd had long disappeared. Probably because one of the residents was dead, every household in this building had shut the door tight. [1]Chinese people believe death brings bad luck. They avoid mentioning death at all costs. If neighbors died, they would shut the door to ward off evil spirits. When they were taking the elevator, they didn’t see a single person.

The moment the elevator door was open, countless spores rushed into the elevator. Taking a look outside, they saw the redness of different shades permeating every corner of the corridor. It was unclear if the residents in this building had already known about the anomalies in their corridors. But from the moment they stepped out of the elevator, they didn’t hear a single sound.

The silence was very unnerving.

Cheng Hua sneered.” We haven’t even arrived, and it has already declared war on us.”

Jiang Lan.” I have seen many aggressive monsters like this, but they all ended up dead.”

All ended up in his stomach, to be more precise.

Ying Qiao raised his eyebrow and agreed.” Looks like one more monster will follow them today.”

At this moment, the red mist started spiraling, followed by many long and thin mushroom threads[2]Original Text is 菌丝, means the mushroom threads or string. No similar words exist in English, I will refer to them as mushroom threads extending from somewhere deep in the corridor. Those mushroom threads twisted together to form a boy’s figure, who pointed to them with one hand while another hand placed on his waist.” How dare you!! In the presence of Ben Jun[3]The original text is 本君, 本means my in this context, 君 means grace or honor in this context. This archaic usage had long gone out of fashion. It was used by ancient Chinese leisure class such … Continue reading, you have no other choice but to die!”

Perhaps because the appearance of a child figure was a little unexpected, the three of them were all at a loss for words.

It was Cheng Hua who first reacted. He rolled his eyes.” It turned out to be a small boy who dare to call himself Ben Jun when he wasn’t even a grown-up!”

“When I beat you, don’t say I bully a small boy.”

Cheng Hua found his weakness with pinpoint precision. The small boy whose height barely reached their knees stomped his feet, and countless Red Devil Umbrellas obeyed his wish and rushed forward to lift him up. Now his height was well above theirs.

The small boy declared war on them with glee.” Now you come forward if you dare. I will knock out your teeth.”

“Little Umbrella, stop this nonsense. Invite our guests inside, please.”

A woman’s gentle voice came from somewhere deep in the corridor.

She called the little boy “Little Umbrella.”

He put on an angry look, but he obviously always obeyed that voice. Reining in his anger, he said to them in a reluctant voice.” You heard her, my sister wants to see you, now follow me.”

Then, his mushroom threads all withdrew, with only Little Umbrella on the ground leading the way, acting like a person.

Xu Meifang’s home was at the far end of the corridor.

When they reached the door, it opened from the inside.

After Xu Meifang’s death, her husband went to the Police station. Their flat was now occupied by the Red Devil Umbrella sister and her little brother.

At this time, a full moon was in the sky, but all the windows were shut tight. All the furnishings were still in place, but the whole flat was pervaded by a fishy smell. The floating red spores gave the entire place other-worldly vibes.

“My guests, please take a seat.”

Many mushroom threads twisted to form a hand, which proceeded to pour three cups of tea and placed the cups before them.

It looked like they were acting in a civil manner.

If monsters other than the three of them were present, they would temporarily suspend their hostility if their enemy acted like this.

But the three of them were not ordinary monsters.

Cheng Hua complained.” I don’t dare to drink this even if you have the idea to pour this stuff for us. Who knows if these are poisonous?”

Little Umbrella jumped up at this.” How dare you insult us like this.”

Cheng Hua pushed him away and walked towards the bedroom.” The guests are here. It’s time for the host to make an appearance.”

When they were approaching the bedroom, the floating mushroom threads instantly went to the doorway and weaved a web blocking the door while some mushroom threads formed a mouth, which said in an angry tone.”You guys are so unreasonable! Those three women killed Chen Ruomei, whose anger in death woke us up to seek revenge for her. We did the right thing! We have no quarrel with you. Why don’t your guys leave us alone?”

Jiang Lan spoke.” Where do you come from? How come you are so ignorant of the law? Now we have the rule of law. It’s not your place to mete out justice. And what’s your purpose in releasing so many spores into the air and using more humans as hosts? Do you plan to use living people as a reserve food source? Do you really intend to kill Xu Meifang only?”

Jiang Lan was very familiar with the concept of the reserve food source! So he knew what was going on in Red Devil Umbrella’s head.

It looked like he guessed right because that mouth didn’t contradict him. After a while, this mouth added.” Those hosts deserve it. They have viciousness in their heart and spread rumors.”

“So you can use them as fertilizers?”

Jiang Lan said.” They did the wrong thing, but they didn’t deserve to die.”

“As for you, you have violated the Monster Bureau regulations and need to come with us.”

The Little Umbrella jumped up at this.” What are the Monster Bureau Regulations? What’s the Monster Bureau? We have never heard about it. You can’t fool us!!”

He talked like a machine gun before his sister put a stop to this, shouting angrily.”Stop talking.”

The Little Umbrella.”…..”

Did I say something wrong?

“Wow, illegal Resident[4]TL’s note: as mentioned in previous chapters, every monster needs to register their information with the Monster Bureau to become a legal resident!” Jiang Lan was suddenly very excited.” Catching illegal residents comes with an extra bonus!”

Ying Qiao had so far stayed silent. When he saw Jiang Lan’s pleased look, he glanced at the door.” You also want the bonus?”

Jiang Lan’s eyes widened in alarm.” It was me who found Tan Zhi. I should have a share in the bonus according to the rule.”

Jiang Lan glanced at Cheng Hua with little worries, thinking to himself that he had abandoned the idea of hogging the bonus. Cheng Hua should at least have the courtesy to reserve a share for him.

If I can’t hog the prize, a small share is acceptable!

“Of course, we should share.” Ying Qiao had already picked a side.” It was you who found the case and clues. You should have the biggest share.”

Considering the Little Monster is so poor, I think it is perfectly all right to give the entire bonus to him.

Throwing a cold glance at Cheng Hua, he said with a smile.” Relax, my boss will apply the bonus for you.”

Cheng Hua.”…………”

What are you taking me for? An emotionless tool who obeys your every wish?

They loudly talked about sharing a bonus in front of the Red Devil Umbrellas as if they didn’t exist. The Red Devil Umbrellas felt insulted and erupted in rage. The Little Umbrella jumped up like a cannonball. When he reached the height of a ceiling light, he exploded into countless red spores, shooting towards the three.

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Advance Chapters TOC


1 Chinese people believe death brings bad luck. They avoid mentioning death at all costs. If neighbors died, they would shut the door to ward off evil spirits.
2 Original Text is 菌丝, means the mushroom threads or string. No similar words exist in English, I will refer to them as mushroom threads
3 The original text is 本君, 本means my in this context, 君 means grace or honor in this context. This archaic usage had long gone out of fashion. It was used by ancient Chinese leisure class such as scholars and officials or anyone who was not engaged in manual work to address themselves. Even they rarely use this presumptuous word to address themselves, prefer to call themselves 鄙人(means shabby person) or 在下( Below you), because they are modest.
4 TL’s note: as mentioned in previous chapters, every monster needs to register their information with the Monster Bureau to become a legal resident
  1. Tygergin has spoken 3 years ago

    Just a thought. The mushroom threads might refer to mycelium – the thin, white, thread-like parts of a mushroom, that are usually underground.

    Thanks for the chapter!

    • mycena.meliigena has spoken 2 years ago

      or hyphae! the individual filaments that make up the mycelial mats

  2. theeggmonger has spoken 3 years ago

    Little Mushrooms have simply become money to be argued over, poor things. Thanks for the chapter!

  3. Kimmy has spoken 3 years ago

    The red devil umbrellas are just third wheeling in this whole affair hahaha

    Thanks for the chapter! 💕


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