The disarming of the magic circle, which had greatly drawn on Kunra’s power, was successful. The three High Demons, Edward, Sandy, and Dyphorek, had been decapitated. The remaining knights did a good job of cleaning up the monsters that had lost their leader.

The reinforcement magicians that arrived afterward were all directed to Mamil’s location. With his work done, Cadel also rushed to Mamil, leaving all commands to Admon, the commander of the Blue Blood Knight Order.

By the time Cadel arrived, however, it was too late. Support magicians, along with healers, worked to improve the condition of the rampaging magicians, but two-thirds of them were dead. They had been on the rampage for too long. Many of the reinforcements controlling the rampaging magicians also suffered severe internal injuries.

And Mamil Kipa. Mamil Kipa, who had managed to subdue a number of magicians despite being drained of mana, finally fell unconscious within 30 minutes of reinforcements arriving.

“…….”

Inside Mamil’s barracks. Cadel stood beside the worn bunk, his dark eyes fixed on his mentor. His eyes were closed, his face a mask of serenity, but his haggard complexion and intermittent seizures gave away the seriousness of his condition.

“He’ll be fine.”

Admon, standing behind Cadel, spoke softly. He, too, was covered in wounds. He hadn’t even gotten a bandage on him yet, having given up healing to his men first.

Cadel bowed his head at Admon’s consolation. He could barely keep his face straight.

“It’s because of me. Because of me, Master is injured, and the Blue Blood Knight Order have suffered great losses. It’s disgraceful. ……I’m so sorry.”

From Admon’s point of view, it must have been a terrible accident, with the reinforcements he’d barely brought in being taken off the battlefield in their entirety without any discussion. When Cadel came to him after the battle, he was actually very angry.

But that was short-lived. Unable to tell him the full story, Cadel excused his departure with the explanation that he had gone to borrow the Scarlet Dragon’s power, and in the end, it was Cadel’s power that helped finish the war. Admon was in no position to continue to criticize Cadel.

“Recognition of wrongdoing is important, but dwelling on past wrongs is pointless.”

“…….”

“Mamil is a tough man, he won’t go down easily, so stop worrying and rest your mind. You must begin the search for the Stone of Peace.”

The biggest problem, the magic circle, was taken care of, but the real objective, the Stone of Peace, remained elusive. Since the Scarlet Scales Knight Order had not suffered any serious injuries, they agreed to join the operation as soon as the Blue Blood Knight Order could organize a search party.

Nodding heavily, Cadel rose from his seat. Staying here and staring into Mamil’s face would solve nothing. Besides, he had a group of subordinates who wanted an explanation for their commander’s mysterious escape.

‘……I can’t tell the truth.’

In a world of repeated transmigrations, only the winners could face the future.

‘I didn’t realize that’s what it meant for a world to be wiped out.’

The penalty for failure in the Demon War quest was world annihilation. It wasn’t the destruction caused by the war. It was their memories, their memories of living in this world. It was the terrible despair of having to repeat another war with all of them gone.

As the frenzied battle came to a close, his thoughts slowed, and the reality of what he was facing gained a steady weight. The more he thought about it, the more the reality of what he was facing began to sink in.

“Well, I’m going to go now, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Stepping out of the barracks, Cadel sucked in a deep breath of cold air.

*.* *

“……So this was a side effect of being imbued with the Scarlet Dragon’s energy?”

Inside the barracks, the members gathered. Cadel nodded, feeling the stares of the men surrounding him. In the silence that followed, Lumen, who seemed to be pondering something, spoke again.

“I don’t recall being told there was a price to pay for using the power of the Scarlet Dragon. Did you hide the dangers from us for fear we would worry?”

“No. It’s just that neither I nor Kunra were expecting it. My mana and Kunra’s power intertwined too much, causing a temporary side effect. Luckily, Kunra caught it quickly, and we were able to get it under control in a safe place.”

He tried to concoct a plausible excuse. He couldn’t tell them anything. It wasn’t to ignore them, or to bear the burden alone.

His subordinates had already suffered enough. How could he tell them that this world was in fact a fabrication, that its very existence depended on the victory or defeat of a single weak human being. He didn’t want them to feel that their lives were meaningless.

All they had to do was fight alongside him, as they had always done. He didn’t want them to know the truth, which would only cause them more pain, so he lied to them with reckless abandon. He humbly accepted the doubts, the questioning glances.

“There are some things Lord Kunra doesn’t foresee.”

“Well, the Scarlet Dragon isn’t all-powerful, and he’s never shared this much power with a single human before.”

“It didn’t seem like the Scarlet Dragon’s energy was scattering yours, but suddenly there are side effects?”

“Yes. Kunra would have been the first to notice if there had been any signs of disturbance in the first place. The fact that there was no foreshadowing only made it more puzzling.”

“Didn’t that lizard put some weird restrictions on Cadel without his knowledge? Like when he tried to use me as an errand boy!”

“Nothing like that, don’t worry.”

In the midst of all the speculation, only one person remained silent. Cadel shifted his gaze cautiously between the worried members of the group.

Van stood a few feet away, staring at Cadel wordlessly. He looked like he wanted to say something, but hesitated, as if he couldn’t find the words. Perhaps it was something he shouldn’t say in front of everyone.

Cadel calmly allayed their concerns, then dismissed them, saying he was tired and needed to rest. Van hesitated for a long moment, and then turned away, his mouth tightly shut. When everyone left, he didn’t say anything, choosing instead to walk away. Cadel saw this and grabbed Van’s arm.

“……Commander?”

“I thought you had something to tell me?”

“…….”

“If you have any questions, ask me. I’ll answer.”

Normally, Van would have been the first to ask him questions and check on him, but he was acting uncharacteristically timid and hesitant, and Cadel wondered what was going through his mind even as he had a million things to think about.

Van glanced down at his arm, then back up at Cadel, his gaze calmer than before. The golden eyes, now devoid of the aura, held a strange bitterness.

“It’s something to do with Transmigrate, isn’t it?”

Cadel reflexively sucked in a breath at the cautious question. Removing his hand from Van’s grip, he said with an awkward smile.

“……Yes. I shouldn’t have to hide it from you. It’s a problem that came about because I took over the body of Cadel Lytos.”

Van knew he was Shin Yeohwan, so he could only assume. Perhaps Van would not mind being told the whole truth. Maybe he’d even encourage him to fight on, telling him that it didn’t matter what the fate of the world was.

“It almost got a little troublesome, but like I said, Kunra handled it well.”

But Cadel didn’t speak. Not because Van was a man who couldn’t be trusted. Rather, it was because he wanted to confide in Van so badly.

If he told Van everything, he would be vulnerable. He’d be leaning on Van, whining, struggling, and showing a naked side of himself, and he didn’t want that.

If he lost, he lost everything. It was a fight like that. Faith and will were two different things. Cadel believed in his subordinates, and he wanted to fight for them, not to take the burden off of them.

That kind of complacency wouldn’t lead to victory. It was a fight he could never afford to lose, so he had no choice but to push himself.

Van stared at Cadel’s face, calmly, as if it was all over.

“You needn’t worry. This body belongs to Cadel Lytos, but it’s also the body I live in, and I’m not going to mess with it, so…….”

“There’s something more.”

“…….”

“And yet you won’t tell me, is it because I know this secret?”

Van’s eyes, which had been sadly set, trembled, and his face contorted into a pained expression. He clasped Cadel’s shoulder as he stood frozen in bewilderment and spoke in a broken voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you almost died after I left? That you had a hard time because of me…… Why did you hide it?”

The reason he didn’t tell Van was simple. He didn’t have the right. He had lied, cheated, and manipulated him. After wandering for a long time in his absence, he finally got his chance, and barely managed to win Van back.

He was in no position to complain, and he still wasn’t, to tell Van how much he had suffered in the past, when he was in the throes of betrayal. He didn’t want to remind Van of all his past pain. He didn’t want to open up his wounds and foolishly ask him to comfort him, to love him.

Because all that mattered was the present, and proving how much love he could give Van right now was the most important thing.

“I don’t have to tell you.”

Van’s eyes fluttered at the weak answer. To him, who didn’t know Cadel’s true feelings, it was an evasion. He didn’t want to tell him, because confiding in him would only lead to disappointment.

“Yeohwan.”

“…….”

“I, I’ve been pretending to ignore your pain all this time. You may have felt empty while you waited for me, but it was nothing compared to my pain. You said you liked me, but it was nothing compared to my conflict. That’s what I thought, but it wasn’t. It was ……hard.”

“It’s in the past, and I don’t see how bringing it up now is going to change anything…….”

Cadel was about to cut him off when Van, who had come up behind him, pulled him into his arms. His breathing was ragged in his ear. His breathing, ragged with emotion, heated the nape of Cadel’s neck.

“I want to comfort you. I want to make up for neglecting you because I was so focused on my own feelings.”

“……Van.”

“Give me a chance.”

He inhaled deeply, his chest tightening, and the familiar scent of Van’s body filled his lungs. With every breath he took, he remembered his scent, and when he closed his eyes, it was as if he had fallen into a world where it was just him and Van. A world where there was no pressure to save the world, no weakness to fear the end.

And Cadel realized that from that moment on, he had been obsessed with giving affection rather than receiving it, so that when the end came, he would have no regrets. He was focused on giving love away, and while he recognized the affection they were giving him, he felt like he had to give more, like he had to cut it down to size.

Receiving affection was also a form of love. If you only focus on giving affection back, you won’t be able to feel that precious emotion.

It must be painful to be in love with someone who doesn’t return your affection. If they don’t acknowledge your affection and you call out to them over and over again, but they don’t respond, you will feel restless and anxious, and you will eventually get tired of it.

Even as he wondered if all of this was just a cowardly excuse for him to throw a tantrum, Cadel wrapped his arms around Van’s neck and leaned into the warmth.

“I can’t tell you right now, but I have a special power, and it’s how I knew you were gone, and unfortunately, it was in the middle of a battle. The realization that it was happening caught me off guard and…… I was unable to defend myself against the attack.”

“……How badly did you get hurt?”

“Well……. The others said I barely escaped death. If it weren’t for Garuel, I’m sure I’d be dead.”

He leaned his cheek against a broad, strong shoulder, and a clumsy hand stroked the back of his hair.

“But more than the physical pain, the knowledge that you were gone hurt more. I was comatose, but with Kunra’s help, I was awake. I went into the space he created for me, and I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t even know I was a guy who could cry for that long.”

“…….”

“When I woke up when it was all over, I felt so empty, like something had fallen apart, because you weren’t there, and I had so many things to do that I didn’t even realize it was hard, but…… the truth is, it was hard the whole time.”

It was hard to get those words out of his mouth, and he swallowed hard until he felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to complain, and he didn’t want to lean on anyone for support. He didn’t want to share his dirty thoughts with them, because he didn’t deserve their love.

“It’s been hard, Van.”

“……I’m sorry, I made it hard for you. It won’t happen again. I’ll never leave you. Whatever happens next, I’ll be here for you, I swear.”

The squeeze that threatened to crush him felt so comfortable. Their bodies meshed together without any gaps, and Van’s heartfelt reassurance felt good.

“If you’re having a hard time, don’t hide it. I’m not as smart as you, and I don’t see the big picture, so I’m not going to be able to solve your problems in a fancy way, but……..”

He kissed the top of Cadel’s head and whispered into his closed eyes.

“I can always give you a hug, just lean on me. You lean on me, and I’ll support you with all my heart.”

“…….”

“I’m not talking to Cadel Lytos, I’m talking to Shin Yeohwan.”

His heart tightened in his chest at the soft sound of his name as it fell from Van’s mouth. There were still people in this world who knew who he really was. Someone who didn’t make him weak, but rather held him up so he could stand strong.

Van’s very presence was comforting. Knowing that Van would still stand by his side and fight for the real him, that fact alone made him want to promise himself over and over again. I will protect your world even if it means burning this one, insufficient body.

“My name, say it again.”

“……Yeohwan.”

“Again.”

“Shin Yeohwan.”

“Again…….”

He wanted to hear his name coming out of Van’s mouth over and over again, as if he wanted confirmation of who Van had in mind. But Van didn’t say his name anymore. Instead, Van pulled their bodies apart, lowered his head, and kissed Yeohwan.

Slowly pulling his lips apart, pressed together like a stamp, he gazed at Yeohwan as if he were looking at an infinitely lovable being.

“I love you, Yeohwan.”

Yeohwan thought nothing could be more certain than the words that came out of his mouth, but the look in his eyes was more passionate than the confession. Emotions that could not be contained in a few words, that seemed to overflow at any moment, pulsed in those sun-like eyes.

Instead of answering, Yeohwan cupped his cheek and pressed his heated lips to Van’s, their overlapping lips exchanging sweet breaths, their fingertips groping for each other, a tremulous desire stirring within them. Their touch, stroking deep into each other’s souls, was solely concerned with the present.

These feelings, stirring from the depths of his heart, were unmistakably his. He was sure of it, even when he wasn’t sure. There was no end to this feeling. Every day was love.