Chapter 31

Yin Xiaoman followed Qi Feng to the camp headquarters.

This was her first time coming to the headquarters office, the place where Shen Qingyun had always worked, but she had no intention of carefully observing the surroundings.

Her mind was buzzing and chaotic, making it impossible for her to think clearly.

If it weren’t for Qi Feng leading the way, she might have wandered around like a headless fly, unable to find her way.

Qi Feng directly led her to the innermost room of the headquarters, the largest one.

Inside the room, there was a long rectangular table, which was usually used for meetings.

At this moment, sitting at one end of the table were two young men in military uniforms.

When they saw them enter, the two young men stood up at the same time, their expressions solemn and their faces heavy.

One of them stepped forward and extended a hand to support Yin Xiaoman, saying to her: “Comrade Yin, please have a seat.”

While speaking, he also gave Qi Feng a look and said: “Can someone get a glass of water for Comrade Yin?”

Qi Feng, too, was in a dazed state, his eyes unfocused, clearly not in the right frame of mind.

Upon hearing the young soldier’s words, he stood there for a long time, stunned, before finally responding with a quiet “Okay.” and started to head out.

“No need, I’m not thirsty.” Yin Xiaoman spoke up to stop him.

At this point, she was almost certain—Shen Qingyun was in trouble.

Her heart twinged in pain, but she became calmer.

It felt as if the stone that had been hanging above her head had finally fallen, the outcome unknown, but it had finally come to rest.

She didn’t sit down but stood there, staring at the two men across from her, and calmly asked: “If there’s something, just say it directly. Don’t beat around the bush. Something happened to Shen Qingyun, didn’t it?”

The two young men exchanged a glance, clearly not expecting her to be so composed.

Then, one of them handed her a piece of paper that was lying on the table with both hands.

Then, in a tone filled with sorrow, he said to her: “Comrade Yin, we have just received a notice from Province C. Last Thursday, there was a major explosion at the XX military factory, resulting in many casualties and causing tremendous loss to the country. We’re here to inform you that Battalion Commander Shen Qingyun is on the list of the deceased.

This is a reality none of us wished to face. Please accept our condolences. The regiment headquarters has already dispatched people to Province C to handle Battalion Commander Shen and the other personnel’s affairs…”

The two of them continued speaking, but Yin Xiaoman didn’t hear anything.

She simply stared at the two men, watching their mouths move.

It wasn’t until they finally finished speaking, taking a step back, and saluting her solemnly that she truly realized the worst thing she had feared had come to pass.

Her body swayed, and her vision blurred for a moment.

Yin Xiaoman bit her lower lip hard, feeling a sharp pain in her mouth. She clenched her teeth again, using the pain to steady her mind.

Afterward, her gaze fell onto the paper in her hand.

It was a document with red markings. The first half detailed the accident, and in the lower part of the document, there was a list of casualties, with Shen Qingyun’s name clearly listed!

Staring at those familiar yet unfamiliar three characters, Yin Xiaoman silently closed her eyes.

Her heart was overwhelmed by a wave of crushing despair.

So, this was something that couldn’t be prevented in the end?

No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much good she did, was this fate truly unavoidable?

She silently turned around, saying not a word, and walked straight toward the door.

The two men, who had been completely ignored, lowered their saluting hands, staring at her in astonishment.

But her face was so pale that none of the three men in the room dared to stop her.

The two young soldiers once again turned their gaze toward Qi Feng.

At this moment, Qi Feng’s expression wasn’t much better than Yin Xiaoman’s.

Shen Qingyun and he were close friends, the kind who would live and die together.

Hearing the news of his brother’s death so suddenly, the shock and pain almost made this seven-foot-tall man break down.

But seeing Yin Xiaoman like this, how could he still care about his own emotions? He quickly followed her out. 

Yin Xiaoman walked quickly.

It was as if if she just left this place, everything she had just gone through would never have happened.

Qi Feng almost followed her the moment she opened the door to leave, but by the time he caught up, she had nearly reached the outskirts of the camp.

“Qingyun’s wife… Little Yin.”

The words were out of his mouth, but Qi Feng swallowed them back.

When he spoke that name, a sharp pain shot through his heart, and his eyes blurred.

He was afraid that if Yin Xiaoman heard it, it would bring back even more painful memories.

He quickened his pace, gritted his teeth, and said: “Little Yin, why don’t you come with me to the regiment headquarters this afternoon? We can ask around. If it’s really not possible, I’ll go with you to Province C.”

If there was any chance, even if it was just to see him one last time, that would be good.

“No need. Qingyun won’t be in trouble. He promised me he would come back. I believe him. I’ll wait for him at home.”

Upon hearing his words, Yin Xiaoman stopped in her tracks. She turned around, smiled at him, and said firmly.

Qi Feng stood frozen in place, his gaze complicated as he looked at his brother’s wife. He opened his mouth but realized he didn’t know how to comfort her.

Was he supposed to say: “Wake up, Qingyun sacrificed his life, he’s never coming back”?

Not only could he not bring himself to say that, but from the look in Yin Xiaoman’s eyes, he could clearly sense her overwhelming sadness—she knew everything, she just didn’t want to believe it.

At that moment, the two young soldiers caught up. Seeing Qi Feng’s grim expression, unable to find the words to comfort her, one of the soldiers gave him a sympathetic glance.

Then, he turned to Yin Xiaoman and said gently: “Comrade Yin, don’t be too upset. As soldiers, each one of us is prepared to sacrifice ourselves for the country at any time. Although Battalion Commander Shen has fallen, he died honorably.”

Upon hearing this, Qi Feng’s face changed drastically. He instinctively started to move toward the soldier to cover his mouth.

But before he could act, Yin Xiaoman’s expression also changed.

“I’ve already told you he won’t die! Why can’t you all believe me! He promised me he would come back safe and sound, and he would come back to live a good life with me. He wouldn’t break his word! He promised me!”

The officer’s words seemed to have triggered something, causing Yin Xiaoman’s calm demeanor to shatter, and her emotions flared up in an instant.

Her composure vanished completely as she sharply rebutted.

Her voice was unusually piercing, her words rapid, not giving anyone a chance to interrupt.

As she spoke, she shook her head frantically.

Her eyes were filled with despair and suspicion.

Perhaps because they were so close, every word she uttered was crystal clear, striking deep into the heart, as if hitting the most fragile part of a person’s soul.

Qi Feng and the other two soldiers were stunned by this sudden outburst from Yin Xiaoman.

They could clearly see that her emotions were no longer stable, and they should step forward to stop her. However, seeing her expression filled with despair made it impossible for them to move.

Fortunately, at this moment, a voice finally broke the tense silence.

“Xiaoman, what’s wrong? Why are you standing here?”

Not far away, Cui Yan came running, out of breath.

She had noticed Qi Feng’s odd expression earlier, but he seemed too serious, so she didn’t dare to ask.

However, after the two left, Cui Yan kept feeling something was wrong, and couldn’t hold back, so she followed them.

She didn’t expect to come upon this scene.

Hearing her name, Yin Xiaoman finally stopped speaking.

She didn’t say anything more but turned her head to stare at Cui Yan.

Cui Yan, completely unprepared, was startled and blurted out without thinking: “Oh my god, who’s bullying you? Why are you crying like this?!”

Afterward, she angrily turned to look at her man.

Only then did Qi Feng realize that, at some point, Yin Xiaoman’s face was covered in tears.

His heart instantly felt like it was pierced by something, sinking into deep self-blame.

This was the woman his brother loved most! At a time like this, as the Big Brother, instead of helping her in any way, he had let her stand there and cry?

He took a step forward, attempting to say a few more comforting words, but Yin Xiaoman had already turned to look at Cui Yan.

She tugged at the corner of her lips in an attempt to smile. But the smile was weak and bitter.

Seeing her like this, Cui Yan didn’t even know what had happened, and her nose suddenly became sour.

She couldn’t hold back anymore, quickly stepping forward to support Yin Xiaoman.

Yin Xiaoman buried her head in her shoulder, rubbing it a couple of times, wiping away her tears.

Then, in a soft tone filled with an indescribable sense of grievance, she said: “Sister-in-law, I don’t want to talk to them. Take me home, I’m a little too tired to walk…”

Before she could finish, her legs gave way, and she collapsed into unconsciousness.

When Shen Qingyun, Engineer Ning, and Hu Tai ran into the camp, it was already dark.

If it had been up to Shen Qingyun, they should have called the camp before leaving Province C to have Qi Feng send a car to pick them up from the train station.

However, the two older men were adamant, saying: “Since we agreed on conducting a covert visit, what’s the point of calling ahead? Are you implying that you don’t have confidence in your Military Unit and need to give them a heads-up?”

Shen Qingyun was speechless at their logic, but he dared not argue and didn’t want to go against their wishes.

Otherwise, no matter how many times he bowed, if he irritated them and they refused to go, he would have nowhere to go to cry.

That day on the train, when Engineer Ning suggested that he accompany them to the design institute, Shen Qingyun had been very excited. He thought the task assigned by his Commander was finally secured.

But when they got there, he realized that what Old Engineer Ning had said about “helping” was, in fact, just that—helping.

A few older engineers and designers would pick his brain, day or night, asking him questions whenever they thought of something.

Once they were satisfied, they would politely thank him and say: “Comrade Shen, thank you. You can go rest now.”

And then, he would be politely escorted away.

He had stayed in the design institute for three days, called over more than a dozen times. It seemed that they had asked everything they needed to, and his role had become insignificant. Eventually, he was sent back to the armaments factory.

Shen Qingyun quickly became familiar with the armaments factory. Everything felt routine, and he soon blended in with the people there.

As Regiment Commander Cheng had said, there wasn’t much for the armaments factory to do with them. The workload wasn’t heavy, and in a few days, everything had been clarified.

As everything neared completion, it was clear they were ready to send them back. Shen Qingyun, feeling desperate and thinking that this mission had completely failed, was about to leave when Engineer Ning called him again.

He was asked to return to the design institute to help.

Although Shen Qingyun thought his work at the design institute was just menial tasks, others didn’t see it that way. Perhaps because he had caught the attention of the “big shots.” the armaments factory had started to value him more.

They no longer talked about sending him back, but instead, they arranged for him to join a research group, specifically responsible for consulting and guiding on practical combat aspects.

So, Shen Qingyun, somewhat confused, became a sought-after person, running between both places. He had to study and work, often without a break.

This continued for almost two months.

Though it seemed busy, the progress he hoped for was nowhere to be seen.

Shen Qingyun felt like his heart was being scratched like a cat’s claw, but he didn’t dare show it. He could only work even harder, remaining humble, polite, and diligent.

Then, one day, as if by luck, Engineer Ning finally called him for a conversation.

This time, it wasn’t just Engineer Ning, but also several other big shots from the same design team.

When they faced him, their usual warmth and politeness were gone. They were precise in their words and serious in their expressions.

They asked him, in detail, about him and the Vanguard Camp’s situation.

Only then did they tell him that he would accompany Engineer Ning and Hua Lao to the Vanguard Camp to see the situation for themselves.

Shen Qingyun knew that although Engineer Ning was the design leader of the project, Hua Lao was the backbone, the one whose authority was unquestionable.

It was only when he heard that both of them would be going that his long-suspended heart finally settled.

Since no car had been arranged for them, the three of them had to take a long-distance bus after getting off the train.

But there was only one afternoon bus, which would only take them as far as the county. So, by the time they carried their luggage back from the county, wouldn’t it already be dark?

“We’ve arrived. Hua Lao, Engineer Ning, please wait a moment. I’ll find someone to help you with your luggage.”

When they reached the entrance of the camp, Shen Qingyun greeted the guards and quickly walked toward the sentry.

However, to his surprise, just as he stepped into the light, the sentry standing on the guard tower suddenly staggered and almost fell off the platform!

“Commander? Commander! You’re alive?!” The young soldier, forgetting his post, ran straight toward him!

Shen Qingyun: “…What the heck?!”

He stepped aside and sternly shouted: “Why are you running? Where’s your squad leader?”

Under normal circumstances, his shout would have been enough to make the young soldier retreat.

But this time, the soldier showed no sign of fear. He continued rushing toward him and shouted loudly into the camp: “Squad leader! Squad leader, come out! Everyone, come out! The Commander is back, he’s alive!”

The soldier was so excited that his voice cracked.

Just as Shen Qingyun was still trying to figure out how he had supposedly died, suddenly, a large group of people rushed out from the camp’s guard room. It looked like all the soldiers on duty and those waiting to be on duty had come running out.

The soldiers and officers swarmed around Shen Qingyun, some even throwing themselves at him and hugging him tightly. Others nearby couldn’t control their emotions and began crying loudly.

If he still hadn’t realized something was seriously wrong by now, Shen Qingyun wouldn’t be Shen Qingyun anymore.

“Stop crying!” he snapped. “Where’s your squad leader? Come, tell me what happened!”

He asked twice, but the soldiers were still lost in the joy of their Commander’s miraculous return. They were all talking over each other, but none could explain what had actually happened.

Shen Qingyun realized this wasn’t something that could be sorted out quickly, so he stopped asking.

Instead, he waved his hand to dismiss the soldiers and gently pulled off a few who had clung to him.

“Go, go! Two of you, take the leaders to the guesthouse. Find someone to call the political instructor to come to me.”

Though still dizzy from the chaotic crying, Shen Qingyun knew that the most important thing right now was to make sure the two elderly leaders were settled first.

Everything else was an internal matter that could be handled later.

He needed to let Qi Feng and the two elderly people meet.

However, what he didn’t expect was that as soon as he finished speaking, someone shouted: “Commander, the political instructor went to the regiment. He said he was handling your funeral arrangements. Also, you should hurry to the clinic! Sister-in-law fainted when she heard about your death this afternoon, and they say she hasn’t woken up yet!”

Shen Qingyun’s face immediately changed.

At that moment, Engineer Ning and Hua Lao had also arrived.

Upon hearing what the soldiers had said, the two elderly men realized the gravity of the situation and quickly urged Shen Qingyun: “Hurry up and take care of things, we can talk about it tomorrow. Go see your wife first!”

As they spoke, the squad leader of the guard unit had finally regained his composure.

He reached for the luggage in Engineer Ning’s hand and, not forgetting to urge Shen Qingyun, said: “Commander, you should head to the clinic. I’ll handle things here.”

Shen Qingyun pressed his lips tightly together. Everyone could sense that while he stood there, it was out of duty, but his heart was already elsewhere.

He glanced at the two elderly men, his eyes filled with regret.

Then, with a swift motion, he threw the travel bag in his hand and, using all his strength, ran toward the camp’s clinic as fast as he could.

At that moment, Yin Xiaoman was still unconscious, lying on the hospital bed.

Cui Yan sat on the bench beside her bed, looking at her face, which was as pale as the sheets, his eyes filled with deep concern.

“When will she wake up?”

She looked at Liu Chang, who was standing at the foot of the bed. “Didn’t you say Xiaoman’s body is fine?”

“It’s fine, nothing’s wrong. All the checks have been done. Sister-in-law is physically fine.”

“Then why isn’t she awake? It’s been hours already!”

Looking at Yin Xiaoman, still unaware of her surroundings, Liu Chang felt a deep ache in his heart.

The last time they met, Sister-in-law’s appearance was still fresh in his memory, but now, she had turned into this.

“I don’t know. Maybe… maybe Sister-in-law doesn’t want to wake up?” he said hesitantly.

“Doesn’t want to wake up? What are you talking about?!” Cui Yan immediately became anxious.

“Sometimes, when a person is in too much pain, they might not want to face the inevitable. At times like this, they might deliberately avoid it. I think… Sister-in-law must be very afraid of waking up.”

Upon hearing Liu Chang’s words, Cui Yan froze for a moment, and her eyes instantly filled with tears.

She suddenly recalled the affectionate moments between the young couple and, in that instant, she began to believe Liu Chang’s words.

“But… sleeping like this isn’t good either. Don’t let her harm her body by staying asleep! Is there any way you…?”

Before Cui Yan could finish her sentence, her gaze fell on the man who had stormed into the room from outside. She was so startled that she jumped up from her chair. “Shen, Little Shen?!”

“Commander?!” Liu Chang was equally excited, shouting as if he were about to rush over.

But Shen Qingyun didn’t even glance at them. He went straight to the bedside. “Xiaoman!”

Liu Chang immediately stopped, trying to comfort: “Sister-in-law is fine.”

He wanted to explain further, but when he saw Shen Qingyun’s expression, he suddenly fell silent.

“Commander…”

He murmured, completely stunned by the scene in front of him.

At that moment, Shen Qingyun had knelt beside the bed, gripping Yin Xiaoman’s hand tightly, which was resting outside the blanket. His head was lowered, his eyes fixed on her face, his fingers gently and carefully touching her hair.

He pressed his lips together tightly, not uttering a word, but a single tear slid slowly down the corner of his eye.

All the unsaid words caught in his throat. At that moment, Liu Chang felt entirely out of place.

A hero’s tears—

The impact of it all made it feel hard to breathe.

He almost didn’t dare to stay in the room, not wanting to witness the most vulnerable side of the Commander.

Liu Chang and Cui Yan left the hospital room quietly, and as they stepped out, they made sure to close the door behind them.

They walked a long way before Cui Yan let out a long breath. Only then did she belatedly turn to Liu Chang, her face filled with astonishment. “How did Little Shen come back?!”

Liu Chang shook his head, his expression almost as stunned as hers.

After a moment, he suddenly smiled. “Now that the Commander is back, Sister-in-law will definitely wake up soon.”

Unfortunately, Liu Chang’s prediction was entirely wrong. Yin Xiaoman didn’t wake up so quickly.

It was strange. Before Shen Qingyun returned, she had merely been in a deep sleep without showing any symptoms of illness.

But just after Shen Qingyun came back, Yin Xiaoman suddenly developed a fever.

Her face turned bright red, her whole body was burning hot, yet she was trembling uncontrollably.

Liu Chang was called in again. When he saw the thermometer reading 38.9°C, he frowned.

“Commander, the nurse already gave Sister-in-law a fever-reducing injection earlier, but it’ll take a while to take effect. You should wipe her down with some warm water. An adult can’t burn like this, it could damage her brain.”

Shen Qingyun nodded.

Then, he looked up at Liu Chang. “What kind of illness does she have? Why is her fever so severe?”

Liu Chang sighed. “If I say Sister-in-law doesn’t have any illness, you probably won’t believe it.

So, I’ll just say, it’s like she’s been holding back something inside, a kind of suppressed fire. She probably held it all in for a long time, and now that you’re back, maybe she feels like there’s hope, someone to rely on?”

Liu Chang himself wasn’t sure if his words made sense.

But recalling what Sister-in-law had said before about how Xiaoman had been behaving at the camp, he thought maybe this fever could be a good thing.

She had been so repressed.

Soon, the nurse brought in some warm water, and Shen Qingyun asked everyone to leave the room.

He took a towel, wet it, and gently began to wipe Yin Xiaoman’s face.

Though some time had passed, her eyes were still slightly swollen, and there were red marks under her eyes.

He patiently wiped, careful not to hurt her delicate face.

Then, as he held her hand, he felt a layer of calluses forming on her palm.

Shen Qingyun was momentarily stunned.

He remembered clearly the first time he saw his wife, her slender, fair fingers that seemed never to have done any labor.

But now—how long had it been? And her hands had already become so rough?

A sharp pain pierced his heart, and an overwhelming sense of guilt almost drowned him.

After wiping her face and hands clean, Shen Qingyun finally reached for the buttons on Yin Xiaoman’s clothes.