Chapter 5

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“And yet…. Even though I love you this much, you don’t understand my feelings at all.”

No! How am I supposed to know??? How am I supposed to know?? How?? Who can even read your emotion when you never even twitch? Or even move any of your mimetic muscles?! If there’s a human who can read it then show me yourself now!!

“……… Yeah… You are truly terrible…. Aren’t you terrible?….. Even though I love you this much.”

Isn’t that supposed to be my line? I’m the one who’s being pushed down though? I’m going to go on a journey from here on! Then suddenly you pushed me down and told me how much you love me, aren’t you the terrible one here??

“……. Alaine-san.”

I slowly called out to Alaine-san, my voice was calm and composed. There was no fear. I already knew fear well enough through my nightmares. Having a beautiful woman whom I knew talking to me wouldn’t bring fear in me. 

………..Even if she pushed me down! Yeah!

“What is it?”

“……. Alaine-san, I understand your feelings but still, I need to go on this journey. I just can’t give it up for this. I need to go on this journey so I can find out the true meaning of myself.”

Yes. I need to find it out. Why did I get transported into this world? Why did my sense of taste die? Why am I plagued by nightmares every single night? Why did I have to lose my ‘son’?

And……

Why can’t I talk about myself to another person?

I hate this. I don’t want to keep on living a life filled with agony like this. I don’t want to carry my anguish alone without anyone else to understand it. 

“You want to find yourself.”

“Yes. As I’ve told you before, I have lost my memory.”

I don’t know why but I can’t tell anyone else that I came from another world. I can’t tell anyone else about my life before I got transported here either. That’s why I lied and made up an excuse that I have lost my memory. 

“Where is my birthplace? What was I doing before I lost my memory? I can’t stand not knowing. I can’t stand not knowing about myself. I’m very grateful to you, Alaine-san. Thanks to Alaine-san, I’m able to go this far. I’m able to keep on living…. But still, I need to know.”

I appealed to her passionately. I looked up at her with upturned eyes, my eyes glistened in unshed tears. 

“I see…..”

Alaine-san slowly raised and got off the sofa.

………Oh? Could it be, my words got through? Does she understand me now?

“Then I will go on that journey together with you.”

……….Huh?

I became completely frozen upon hearing Alaine-san’s sentence. 

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T/N: A very logical and sound conclusion I dare say. Good luck FL! I’m rooting for you!