Chapter 8

Chen Xiangyun was so surprised by her granddaughter’s words that she almost jumped. The fan in her hand swiped directly at Su Xi’s arm. It was a rare occurrence for her grandma to get mad at her.

Grandma Chen glared and reprimanded her. “Where did you hear all this? Is this something a young girl like you should say?”

Su Xi pretended to be in pain and dodged, “I was just curious. Su Sanya told me today that two men from the neighboring village got together, and they called them ‘Erzhi.’ They were shot for being Erzhi. I don’t understand, that’s why I asked Brother about it.”

Chen Xiangyun became even more furious at these words, she pointed her trembling finger at Su Xi, sternly saying, “That Su Sanya is indeed not a good person. In the future, you are not allowed to mingle with her, do you understand? It’s all a mess.”

Su Xi innocently nodded, looking obedient as if she wouldn’t dare to ask again, but her eyes kept stealing glances at Xi Yannan.

Xi Yannan, since hearing her question, had been lost in thought.

To be honest, in this era, the pressure two men faced for being together was beyond what ordinary people could handle. Even in her past life before she transmigrated, despite the greater societal acceptance of same-sex relationships, there were still many who couldn’t tolerate it. What more in this conservative and feudal 1960s? 

If someone reported them and it became a big issue, they would undoubtedly be sued for hooliganism. The penalties for hooliganism in the 1960s were severe, and in some cases, if it became a high-profile case, even the death penalty was possible, just like those two men from the neighboring village.

She knew her brother must have heard about the fate of those two people from the neighboring village, but she still brought it up. After all, her intention was to make Brother wary of people like Su San Ya. No matter what, they shouldn’t reveal anything in front of outsiders.

I don’t know how long it took. Su Xi found herself drowsy while looking at her books. Xi Yannan’s slightly hoarse voice came to her ears. “What else did she say?”

At these words, Su Xi jolted, instantly awake. She met Xi Yannan’s eyes, which were darker than usual. Although reluctant, she indirectly reminded me, “Su Sanya? I don’t remember much; she seemed to ask me to be cautious. If I see two men being too close, I should remember to tell it to her.”

Xi Yannan pressed her thin lips tightly, nodded, and said nothing more, burying himself in work.

Su Xi could tell that Xi Yannan was in a very bad mood. Although she felt a bit sorry for this brother, who had always been good to her, these things needed to be addressed, especially in such a peculiar era.

Moreover, she does not want to continue the cannon-fodder fate of Su Xi in the original book. She hoped that through this incident, Xi Yannan would understand her perspective on his relationship with her big brother and that her stance was supportive.

At least, she wanted them to know that even if the whole world opposed them, their cherished family would support them.

However, at this moment, Xi Yannan remained silent. Su Xi didn’t want to press further, even though she was anxious. She could only wait for the next opportunity.

………………….

Unexpectedly, that opportunity came sooner than Su Xi thought.

In the evening, after dinner, Su Xi returned to her room and began fumigating it with mugwort. Summer brought a lot of mosquitoes, especially in the countryside. Although Su Xi’s room had mosquito nets, she still had to fumigate them every day.

Otherwise, with her unruly sleeping posture, her arms or legs would undoubtedly be covered in mosquito bites the next day. Thinking about the refreshing experience of not fumigating the room the day before, Su Xi’s face wrinkled into a bun.

After fumigating the room, she concealed the mosquito net and closed the door tightly before heading into the courtyard.

She found Brother sitting under the eaves, staring blankly at the sky, lost in thought.

It seems that Xi Yannan has been feeling down since she asked that question at noon. 

Su Xi sighed lightly, holding the still-burning mugwort in her hand. She walked around him, driving away the mosquitoes hovering around her brother. She scolded, “Brother, why are you sitting here? Feeding mosquitoes? Where’s Grandma?”

“Grandma went to Uncle’s house to pick eggplants and said they would make them for us to eat tomorrow morning.”

The first batch of eggplants at home didn’t grow well, and only the later ones that were planted had started flowering but hadn’t produced results yet.

“Then why are you sitting here? Don’t mosquito bites itch? Go take a shower; I fumigated your room too. No mosquitoes. By the time you finish bathing, it’ll be almost dark,” Su Xi said playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

Xi Yannan chuckled helplessly and patted the diligent little girl’s head before taking the mugwort from Su Xi’s hand and saying, “You don’t need to bother with this; be careful not to burn yourself. Don’t force yourself next time; you have a brother with you.”

Su Xi rolled her eyes. This family treated the original owner as if she were made of glass. “Got it, hurry up and take a shower.”

Xi Yannan nodded, walked with heavy steps, and was pushed by the little girl toward the bathhouse. Suddenly, he stopped, as if making a significant decision. He turned around to look at Su Xi, resolutely saying, “Xixi, do you also find it disgusting for two men to be together? Is it… a sin?”

Su Xi was stunned, looking at this man, whose emotions were so tense they were about to break. At this moment, his eyes were obscure and unclear, but Su Xi could feel the suppressed distortion like a pleading look grasping at a lifeline.

“Suddenly, Su Xi’s nose tingled. She had never liked anyone, so she couldn’t understand the kind of love that defied the entire world yet still chose to be together. Thus, her heartache might not compare to one-thousandth of her brother’s heartache at this moment.

She remained silent for a moment, unsure how to respond.

As the light in Xi Yannan’s eyes was about to fade away, Su Xi’s sweet and firm voice echoed, “Why is it disgusting for two men or two women to be together? Why should it be condemned? It’s their own business, isn’t it? As long as they are happy!”

The girl was only 15 years old, and her voice carried a distinct girlish tone. She seemed immature, even faintly childlike. However, at this moment, to Xi Yannan’s ears, it was undoubtedly a heavenly sound. He lifted his head with a sudden realization, his dark pupils becoming increasingly bright, almost scalding Su Xi.

At this moment, Xi Yannan only felt a buzzing sound in his head, and even his chest ached fiercely due to this unexpected joy. He had never imagined that the emotions he suppressed deep in his heart, which were despised by the world, would one day be acknowledged by someone.

Fortunately, the person who acknowledged him was none other than his family, the ones he cared about the most and never wanted to hurt.

His father was a hunter from the neighboring village. However, when he was three years old, his father encountered a bear and did not return alive. His mother, unable to endure the hardships, left him alone after half a year. So, for the two and a half years until he was six, he wandered around several nearby villages, relying on the hospitality of others. 

It wasn’t until he was six, in the midst of a brawl over a wild chicken egg with older kids from a neighboring village, that an elegant 11-year-old young man, Su Dong, picked him up.

Speaking of Su Dong, he was truly the model child of this village since childhood—clean, obedient, high-achieving, polite, handsome, and so on. Everything praiseworthy seemed fitting for him. 

In contrast to Xi Yannan, Su Dong grew up amidst everyone’s admiration. He was the only child in their town to have entered university in the past few decades, and he did so with the top score in the province.

This outstanding Su Dong showed no dislike for Xi Yannan’s dirty and ragged appearance. He led the small Xi Yannan and firmly expressed his determination to keep this younger brother as part of his family.

Perhaps it was the warmth of that moment when they held hands, or maybe it was the initial stunning impression of the young Su Dong, but Xi Yannan, who grew up like a wolf cub, instinctively suppressed his fierceness in order to stay by the side of his new-found “brother” Su Dong, whom he had engraved in his heart. He only hoped to be better—even just a tiny bit better—so that he could always stay by the side of that beautiful brother.

The Su family was kind and warm, and even their eldest uncle’s wife, Wang Guizhi, who always complained about him, never truly harmed him. When times were good, she would awkwardly give him something delicious. 

So gradually, he grew fond of this family. No longer pretending to be obedient with bated breath, he cautiously unleashed his true nature, testing it step by step. After confirming that he would never be disliked by his family, he completely regarded himself as a part of this family.

However, Su Dong was different. The young Xi Yannan didn’t know what made him special, but he instinctively wanted to be close to him, like a moth to a flame. He once thought it was his long-standing yearning for light in the darkness. 

It wasn’t until he turned 15, and the boys talked about dirty jokes, that the young Xi Yannan realized the nature of his feelings for Su Dong—the person in his dreams, the one he wished to embrace, was his beautiful Su Dong.

He certainly knew that this feeling was being despised, but he couldn’t control himself and was even more reluctant to drag such a perfect person into the quagmire…

“Pa! Pa!” Su Xi shook her body to prevent mosquitoes from getting close to her and raised her hand to slap her brother’s arm. Startled, Xi Yannan, who was in a trance, woke up. 

Su Xi: “Alright, Brother, go take a shower quickly. It’s dark already. Look at yourself, you’ve been bitten by mosquitoes. What’s up? Can’t we talk about it tomorrow? I’m going inside. Oh my, so many mosquitoes~”

After closing the door, Su Xi went to her desk, lit the kerosene lamp, and then opened a window a bit. Through the crack, she saw her brother, who obediently went to take a shower.

She finally put her mind at ease.

…………

(T/N: I was listening to the acoustic version of ‘Iris’ by Goo Goo Dolls as I was translating this scene. It was on shuffle, by the way. What a coincidence, really! It hits differently, tbh, I cried.) 

It was now past seven in the evening.

Su Xi really couldn’t sleep, so she took out a Chinese textbook and began reciting “Da Ye.” Catching sight of the two peaches on the table, she remembered that Brother gave them to her during dinner.

Originally, Su Xi thought she had already brushed her teeth, so she planned to save the peaches for tomorrow. However, the faint fragrance emanating from the small peaches tempted her, distracting her from studying. Even her mouth began to water.

Su Xi didn’t expect these small peaches, the size of quail eggs, to have such a strong allure. Were they so tempting at noon?

Without much thought, since the peaches were already washed, she directly grabbed one and took a bite.

Unexpectedly, the peach was crispy, and the taste was a sweet nectar she had never experienced before. As the juice flowed down her throat, Su Xi couldn’t help but swallow a few times uncontrollably. When she realized it, there were only two peach pits left in her hands.

She didn’t even know how the other peach disappeared.

Su Xi blushed slightly; she didn’t realize she could eat as fast as Zhu Bajie eating ginseng fruit. But these peaches were truly delicious; she had never eaten such tasty peaches before. ^[1]Zhu Bajie, also known as Pigsy or Zhu Wuneng, is a character from the Chinese classical novel “Journey to the West”

Whether it was her imagination or not, she always felt warm in her body and a bit clearer in her mind after eating the peaches.

At this thought, she licked her lips, a bit unsatisfied. Then she placed the peach pits on the table, thinking about planting them in the yard tomorrow and wondering if there would be peaches to eat in the future.

After this beautiful reverie, Su Xi picked up her book and began to study diligently once again.