Chapter 67 – It’s something my brother gave

An Xumo turned his head and tried to say goodbye to the figure that appeared in his dream earlier. Yet he walked in the opposite direction for a long time and dragged his tired legs to scuttle in fear, but he still did not shake off the hazy light and the figure in the light.

Something even came up from behind and pressed against his temple —

An Xumo suddenly trembled, he opened his eyes with a sharp gasp.

The bedside lamp used to illuminate at night has been turned on and the man standing by the bed looked down at him. A slender and strong hand was pressed against the side of An Xumo’s face. It was this touch that pulled An Xumo out of his dream.

Zhou Jinchen originally wanted to test whether An Xumo’s fever subsided but he didn’t expect that just as he touched the other party, the boy would suddenly violently shudder and open his eyes in horror.

The light brown pupils were filled with water, but the fear inside was undeniable.

Zhou Jinchen’s movements could not help but pause.

Unlike last time when the boy was unconscious, he mistakenly thought that his dream was peaceful. An Xumo’s chest fluctuated sharply this time but he also woke up because of this violent movement. He even subconsciously used his hands to support his body as if to move himself a little further to the other side. But he doesn’t have the strength to support himself now and his arms went limp as soon as his upper body was raised.

—— If Zhou Jinchen hadn’t reached out and put his hand on the back of his neck, he’s afraid An Xumo would have fallen back directly.

The cold temperature from behind his neck was like a cold wind in winter. An Xumo couldn’t help but shiver again. Even when he was put back on the bed, he was so flustered that he forgot to say ‘thank you’.

Zhou Jinchen frowned. He did not notice the difference in An Xumo’s expression but judging from the temperature touched by his palm, the other party’s condition was not really good.

“The fever hasn’t gone down yet?”

“It doesn’t burn much anymore…”

The voice was so rough that it directly weakened the credibility of what An Xumo said. Zhou Jinchen reached out again to probe the temperature of An Xumo’s forehead but the boy on the bed looked like he was afraid of the cold and his body was still slightly shaking.

“Have you taken the medicine?”

Just as An Xumo wanted to speak, he was directly stopped. “Don’t speak, nod or shake your head.”

An Xumo nodded as he was told.

“Do you have a scene tomorrow?”

Still nodded.

“I will ask for leave with the crew and try to move it back, you get well first.”

Zhou Jinchen’s voice was tinged with a little haze in the room with the night light on, like a candy wrapped in cellophane.

“Go back to sleep.”

The wall switch made a light ‘pa’ sound and the familiar figure slowly moved away in the dark. After a ‘click’, the door closed and the room quieted down again.

An Xumo shrunk himself under the covers.

His consciousness is still not clear but his mind is already working on its own. An Xumo thought that if he could give up his unrealistic fantasies and still look at his brother with the same gaze as he did at the start, it seems that the situation could become a little better.

Just like at the very beginning, when looking at his brother’s picture, he can feel that food has become much better.

What would it take to get back to the way it was at the beginning?

An Xumo envisioned in his head drowsily. First of all, he must ignore his brother’s attitude towards him because if his brother takes care of him more, his emotions would be affected. Just like now, when his brother said he would help him to ask for leave, that unsettling voice deep inside would scream and want to break out of bounds.

Not to mention the thoughtful concern, the mint-flavored kisses……

He would have to bury those cakes and sweets and not to touch them again.

And then, An Xumo thought, he’s going to start gaining energy again the way he did in the first place, just by taking a look.

Perhaps, he can find something else to replace it, his job, for example. An Xumo vaguely remembered those little girls who came to visit the set before, they smiled shyly and brightly which made him find another meaning of this job.

Work hard in the initial direction and then replace it with something else, so that’s fine. He was not only able to pull himself back to safety but also be able to help his brother and solve the trouble for the other party.

An Xumo’s thoughts clearly listed one, two, three, and also added goals and meanings from the beginning to the end. But as if the hidden virus still hadn’t given up, he just finished sorting himself out when an unspeakable emotion suddenly came over him.

Why can’t I eat the candy given by my brother?

Even when he initially counted the hundreds of days without seeing his brother, An Xumo could still comfort himself with his brother from ten years ago. At that time, everyone disliked him and only his brother would give him milk. An Xumo was relying on this little sweet taste to survive the ten long years.

But now, he has to bury what his brother gave him with his own hands, not even daring to touch it anymore.

The saddest thing is that this is all caused by An Xumo himself.

If he hadn’t crossed the line and hadn’t been greedy and delusional, he could still be the same An Xumo who could happily hold the candy from ten years ago.

Let’s start tomorrow and allow ourselves to be sad for one more night, An Xumo thought, closing his wet eyes in the darkness.

No one has taught An Xumo normal feelings so he doesn’t know that secret love is the most difficult to resist to the provocation of the one they love. The beautiful fantasy and the loss of reality are the most frequent emotional twists and turn in the process of unrequited love but An Xumo regarded all of these as his own fault.

He hurt himself to death to correct these mistakes he had made alone.

–

After two days off from work due to illness, An Xumo finally returned to the set.

Because of the temporary delay in filming, he felt that he had caused a lot of trouble for the crew. Taking the initiative to apologize seemed too deliberate so An Xumo would rush over in time whenever they needed help and the number of NGs during filming was gradually decreasing.

Ma Lao’s attitude towards the newcomer was of course would have been more relaxed and he was even more satisfied with this kind of An Xumo.

After filming the scenes from ten years ago, the crew fixed the actors’ makeup, reworked their costumes, and gave the props a major change. It wasn’t long before the filming of the third murder case ten years later begin. The two protagonists’ emotions are much more complex and restrained than they were ten years ago. This is precisely Zhou Jinchen and Lin Rui’s strength. After not having to deliberately imitate the teenager’s posture to act as a student, their interpretation of a young man with a secret was more comfortable.

The atmosphere in front of the camera was getting more and more depressing by the day but the overall atmosphere on the set is a lot lighter. The progress of the scene is developing smoothly, even in the hands of Ma Lao who had always been picky, there have only been two or three shots taken.

An Xumo’s observational experience is accumulating day by day. Unlike the two lead actors, the Bai Qingchi ten years later is a more difficult test for him. He deliberately changed his old makeup and can see the immaturity of his words and deeds. Therefore, the improvement in acting skills during this time becomes more important.

Memorize the process of shooting on the set as detailed as possible during the day and repeat the scene on the script over and over again at night. Although there are no scenes for the time being, An Xumo was no more relaxed than the rest of the actors in the crew. But this is good, busy work is actually a very effective way to share the psychological pressure.

If it wasn’t for Zhou Jinchen who would occasionally come over at night to find someone to review the script, An Xumo might have been a little more relaxed.

But Bai Qingchi and Ling Sihang’s most intimate scenes have already been taken and the present situation is much better than before. Although Zhou Jinchen still takes the initiative to come over, he would only come to correct a pair of scripts or to spend some time in the gym with someone. For An Xumo who set his goal early, it wasn’t too hard.

In addition, An Xumo also took the initiative to find Tang Tang and talk about some matters. His previous Weibo posting is once a week, after entering the group in order to feel at ease filming, Tang Tang did not continue to urge him, and An Xumo also forgot about this matter. Now that he has taken the initiative, Tang Tang naturally raised her hands in approval.

An Xumo found four pictures and sent them out, two of which had himself on them which was incredible for him who often posted on Weibo and forgot to bring pictures along. The fans breathe in a piece of fresh Mo were happy as if it was Chinese New Year and the number of reposts and comments skyrocketed.

Within half an hour ‘An Xumo the missing person’ and ‘four photos at once’ were on the top of the hot search keywords. When Tang Tang showed An Xumo the screenshots of the hot search, she also found a few Weibo posts forwarded by fans to draw lottery. An Xumo did not expect that his Weibo post can make fans happy to the point of celebrating the lottery. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but a little warmth also vaguely gushed inside his heart.

Everything is moving in a good direction, except for one thing that is not quite as one would like.

An Xumo’s hunger has not been alleviated but it has become more and more serious with the passage of time.

After Xiao Zhang learned about gastrointestinal inflammation, An Xumo had just recovered from the fever and was pressured by Tang Tang to go to the hospital. Gastroscopy is a very torturous test and the final result was not very optimistic — An Xumo indeed has chronic gastritis.^[1]Chronic gastritis occurs when your stomach lining becomes inflamed. Bacteria, consuming too much alcohol, certain medications, chronic stress, or other immune system problems can lead to … Continue reading

After the diagnosis, Tang Tang who once hid six lunchboxes inside her coat changed into a delicate girl who wanted to haggle over^[2]to haggle over every ounce; (fig.) to fuss over minor matters; to split hairs every grain of rice. Don’t eat too many sweets — it will stimulate his gastric acid, cold ones will be out of the question, not to mention stimulating spicy and greasy food, let alone eat two spoonfuls of rice congee, she will nervously stare at An Xumo for a long time.

Under Tang Tang’s supervision, An Xumo did not have a stomach ache again. But correspondingly, that kind of hunger has obviously invaded more and more, making it increasingly difficult to ignore.

It didn’t take long for Qian Lingyuan who played the role of Zhao Jiujiu was killed and completed the scene. The crew could not find time to send him alone so they had a small gathering on the set. The usual lunch box was replaced by a specially ordered delivery and actors who didn’t have any night scenes broke their ring^[3]something they stopped doing but did so in the end; ex. fasting, smoking, etc,. and went to a convenience store nearby to carry two cases of dark beer.

The delivery was paid for by Zhou Jinchen which is asking the crew to improve their meals together. The van sent by the hotel carried one insulated box after another. When the lid was opened, the hot air and aroma inside poured out together and the whole set was filled with an enticing fragrance.

The crowd gathered around in succession but the hungriest boy did not move. Tang Tang went to get his dinner. An Xumo could not help but take a few deep breaths, then tried to pretend not to care and continued to chat with Qian Lingyuan for a while. (T/N: Oh the torture, I can relate on a spiritual level lol.)

When they finished talking, the sumptuous dinner arranged one by one has begun. Qian Lingyuan called him to go over to eat, An Xumo could only excuse that he had to find something else first and stayed away from the temptation area for the time being.

But he didn’t go there by himself, the aroma of food followed closely behind his heel.

An Xumo was stunned to see a transparent box with a faintly hot lunch box in front of him.

Zhou Jinchen handed it over and looked at him with downcast eyes.

An Xumo hesitantly said, “This is……”

“A serving that is not too high in calories.” Zhou Jinchen said, “A recipe that even dancers can eat.”

“Thank you…” An Xumo bit the tip of his tongue. He was just about to take the lunch box when a cold wind blew around him, and then the weight in his hand was gone.

“No, no, no, you can’t eat it!”

Tang Tang who rushed over with her eyes and hand stepped between the two and took away Zhou Jinchen’s lunchbox. She gasped and said, “Inside there is, there is……”

Zhou Jinchen: “……”

Zhou Jinchen: “No poison.”

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The author has something to say:

Xiao Mo basically finished his explanation and he decided to refuse to accept his brother’s closeness to him……

Maintain a fixed distance from his brother. Later, when his brother takes the initiative, he will, um.

Then these two chapters will explain the brother’s illness~